If you have 3 children do they all have their own room?

[unsureforevermore]

Just that really, I’m expecting in September we have a 8&6 year old boy and girl, plan is for the older two to share for a year or two and then whichever sex the new child is they will then share further down the line.

coming up for a remortgage in October and we think we are just going to pull a bit of money out to pay off a few things so we are a bit more comfortable on mat leave.

anyway do yours all have their own room? Does it work for you? I always shared when I was little and I enjoyed sharing with my sister x

I feel like with the cost of living etc I really don’t want to have a big mortgage I’d rather have more freedom for holidays etc

Not exactly luck though is it, it’s by design!

Don't be daft.

What would you do if you had a downturn in fortune and had to downsize? Rehome one of the kids?

Not quite what was asked but still relevant. I'm the youngest of 3 and never shared. I never wanted to either. However, between each child was a 3 year gap (and the middle child was a different sex) so it probably wouldn't have worked so well for many years if we had to. I personally chose, as a parent, we'd always have enough rooms for each child, as that was my preference growing up.

It's one thing to have to do it by necessity; another to actually plan it this way. It's selfish and unfair on the children who have to live with your decisions. I think OP is hoping it will all work out fine because the bottom line is she just wants another baby. It doesn't matter what the impact will be on the other children. They are young and they don't realise now either but they will when they get older and might be resentful. I would be.

My parents each had to share as kids & hated it so much that they prioritised single rooms for us.

My sister & I happily share by choice now when we go on holiday together but if I’d had to share with her as a kid I think I’d have left home as soon as possible.

Although I do see that plenty of people on the thread enjoyed sharing so it’s obviously not going to be the same for everyone.

There’s an enormous difference between choosing to share and having to

Absolutely. And an enormous difference between two adults choosing to share for a couple of nights & two children having to share long term.

The age gap isn’t too ideal for sharing IMO but you do what you need to do

Can you find a nook or cranny in your house like a storage cupboard in a separate hallway that could fit a kids’ bed for youngest? Sometimes you find a new possibility that you haven’t thought of before

And if it’s a boy she can call him Harry 👍🤣

Half the time I think if parents were going to be the ones compromising they may make different decisions. But it isn't, it's the kids who have no choice.

At the ages of the OP's kids mine were rarely in their room, as teens they're in there all the time.

Sharing is absolutely not an issue in and of itself, but the ages and sexes make this difficult in the instance. Our scenario and ages is almost identical, so I can see first hand how dynamics play out. A teenager is a very different beast to a 6 or 8 year old.

Honestly with those age gaps i would say in 2 years max, especially the older boy should have his own room for privacy while hitting puberty.

It's one thing to have to do it by necessity; another to actually plan it this way. It's selfish and unfair on the children who have to live with your decisions

They're sharing a bedroom not squatting in a drug den or living in a tent in a refugee camp!

I don't know how my siblings and I survived life with our "selfish" parents. 2 brothers sharing, my sister and I sharing ... it never occurred to us how deprived we were. If only we'd had Mumsnet back then to tell us how shit life was 😁

i know Christ! I was only asking for people who have 3 children’s experience!
not to be told I’m selfish when some of the responses don’t even have 3 children! I’m glad my parents had my sister and brother regardless of whether we had to share or not.
lots of my friends shared a bedroom when I was at school my sister just hung out in and round us all when I had my friends round haha

I’m still confused with why you asked when you are set on your decision anyway, other peoples opinions and perspectives are neither here nor there.

I don’t think sharing a room is a big deal generally, certainly not the no-no it seems to be on mumsnet sometimes, but that is potentially a pretty big gap. That would have me looking at other options, if av all possible, but if it is what it is, then that’s that!

I shared with one sister (two years older) for the first 4 years of my life then the other (three years younger) for the next 12 years until an older sibling moved out and sister moved into their room. We had a huge house, 6 bedrooms, but my parents also had loads of kids so 😂 it really wasn’t that bad. I never resented it anyway. It was a big room, and we weren’t too in each others faces anyway. My husband shared a room with his brother, who was allowed his girlfriend to sleep over when they were 16 and DH was 12/13, which is beyond grim as they, of course, acted like 16 year olds left to their own devices(!) I certainly wouldn’t ever have that going on in a shared room!

I’m in a three bedroom house with two children at the moment, a son who’s 4 and a daughter who’s 1, and recently had a pregnancy which, unfortunately, couldn’t progress, but we wouldn’t have moved, the baby would’ve gone in with whichever sibling they were the same sex as. Obviously the 2 year age gap would’ve been ideal but if it were another boy, and a 5 year age gap, then that would’ve been fine too!

Our 3 do now, moved when youngest was 1.5 as older 2 were sharing (different sexes) and just needed more space. However sooo common for siblings to share so not urgent at all and we moved not just for bedrooms but for overall bigger house/more room.

just I guess looking to see if it’s worked for people and to see if there’s something I need to consider something I hadn’t thought of. Which it has done that I need to think about the teenage years so will help determine how long to fix our mortgage for

I’m sorry to hear that we had two losses before this one so this baby is very much wanted by all.

I think it was quite the norm to have large families and share wasn’t it. I agree with the girlfriend staying over hahaha that wouldn’t be happening.
i am quite keen to raise children who don’t spend a lot of time in bedrooms however can appreciate all children are different.

Our 3 children have their own bedrooms. We moved to a bigger house when we decided we wanted a third child. There is no way we would have had a third if we couldn’t have afforded to give them a bedroom each. I agree with others who have said it’s selfish.

They didn't start out with theri own rooms - we had three bed house but they slept better in one room in very early years - and then DS was put in box room and sister shared.

We then moved when eldest was 10 to 4 bed house - which we never expected to have. It was a hue side extention done by perbious owners. It also has three reception rooms downstairs - kitchen dinner frontroom - doubles as office and play room - and living room. That and two toilets - one toilet with shower and main bathroom with bath meant I think fewer arguements in teen years as they could all get away from each other.

I don't think you're selfish per se, but short sighted maybe. My set up is almost exactly the same as yours will be, and sharing wouldn't work for us. If we absolutely had to of course we would have to, but it would be less than ideal. And very hard for the kids. The youngest would probably not be too bothered, but it would be very hard for the teens. And that would then make it hard for the youngest as he would feel resented, and got at.

Yes, mine have their own room (all primary age) But my two eldest both have ADHD and really need their own space to chill out in, and one of them is a terrible sleeper so would disturb the other.
It also means if we have guests (which we do fairly often as we lives overseas from family), one of the boys does temporarily go in with their brother and their room (with en suite) becomes the guest room.

Out of interest what would you have done if it were twins?

We were really keen not to be a bedrooms family and managed to stick to it for a long time but by yr 10 and 11 we have lost that fight. They do need to revise and work quietly, they do want private conversations and chat with their friends, and they do just need privacy and space to deal with puberty and adolescence.

We still eat together and play board games and have time together but they do head to their rooms almost on reflex now.

It’s not luck (if you’re being pedantic!) but what I said we are lucky they have their own rooms but we chose a 4 bed house because we have 3 kids. We compromised on an older house and a semi not a detached but it works for us.