If you have 3 children do they all have their own room?

[unsureforevermore]

Just that really, I’m expecting in September we have a 8&6 year old boy and girl, plan is for the older two to share for a year or two and then whichever sex the new child is they will then share further down the line.

coming up for a remortgage in October and we think we are just going to pull a bit of money out to pay off a few things so we are a bit more comfortable on mat leave.

anyway do yours all have their own room? Does it work for you? I always shared when I was little and I enjoyed sharing with my sister x

I feel like with the cost of living etc I really don’t want to have a big mortgage I’d rather have more freedom for holidays etc

When DT were born we lived in a 2 bed. DS stayed in his room; DT had our room; we moved into the living room. When DT were 4 we moved into a bigger house and they had their own rooms. We were concerned they would miss each other but were DELIGHTED to have their own rooms. We have just moved house again: DC all late teens now and they use their rooms differently. All of which to say: this isn’t a once and done decision. You will adapt to your family’s needs (including financial) as you go.

Kids need their own rooms imo. Especially when older. I appreciate you think it’s ’ridiculous’ but I do think it’s unfair to put your kids in the situation of having to share as theres not enough space. We all need privacy, peace, etc and having to share until you leave home sounds awful to me (defo a personal thing though, some people, including yourself op, are fine with it and that’s great for kids that are).

Same here. I find the attitude on here about things like bedrooms weird almost as weird as some of the public v private school threads or as some of the sahm threads. I wonder am I living in a parallel universe. Having a happy home where children feel loved and supported is the most important thing. Mine share a bedroom but rather than take on a big mortgage I like to not be concerned about cost of living increases and be able to have plenty of food on the table and a warm house. Of course we’d manage with a bigger mortgage but why struggle when we don’t have to. Also before I know it DD will be heading to third level and I want to be able to financially support her when that time comes.

Complete agree!

I had BGB, 22-28 months apart, all had their own rooms.

Yes, there is an overlap in the tone between threads like this and those about private education, when it is presented as a necessity too. That's an interesting observation.

My pov comes from my own childhood where as the eldest I was sharing with 3 other siblings and then at 10 sharing with my 2 sisters. I found it awful, I was a child that wanted to be alone a lot and my mothers choices did not suit my personality or needs, I didn't want that for my own children. I suppose if I had a decent experience of sharing I wouldn't see it as a problem.

We had 4 in a three bed. 3 girls shared large bedroom. son in small room. When oldest DD was 13. We split the large bedroom into 2. Eldest and youngest in that. Twins shared other room they had a bunk bed in it worked just fine.

Our two boys share with a 3 year gap. I use the 4th bedroom as an office which feels non optional with my job. We have plans to move or build and give them each a room but with finances it might not be till the oldest boy is 14, which is later than I’d like.

Yes, ours all have their own bedroom. We wouldn’t have had them all if we couldn’t have given them their own bedroom. People can tell themselves that kids don’t need their own room but those same people don’t need to have 3 kids in a 3 bed house. Thats really selfish.

Ours have their own room but the youngests room doubles as the spare and he goes on a bottom bunk in someone else's room when the grandparents are here. They really enjoy sharing occasionally. I don't think siblings of the same sex and a small age gap sharing is an issue, but given that baby is a lot younger than the older ones I do think ideally you'll be needing an extra bedroom. You've got time though, our youngest stayed in our room until he turned 2.

I have 3 kids - 2 boys and 1 girl.

In the old house DD had the smaller room and DS1 and 2 shared - there is just under 4 years between them.
It helped that we had a study and a conservatory playroom as well as the lounge so plenty of other spaces for them to hang out and not be on top of each other all the time.

We moved when they were 10 and 14 and they then had their own rooms which was much better for them - they really needed their own space by then - ideally i think when DS1 went to secondary school age 11 would have been the right time but finances didnt allow a move then.

Having thier own rooms means that now DS1 is 19 and back and forth to uni he has his own space and doesnt feel like a child - it means he can live here as long as he want to save up etc. We can't afford to give him a big sum for a deposit but we can let him have a room so that he can save what he is not spending on rent.

Well, I have a wonderful sister and a gorgeous niece and nephew that wouldn't have existed had my parents been so inflexible. Totally worth sharing a room with her.

Yes. I wouldn’t have had a third if we didn’t have room and my older kids would have been negatively impacted.

I have 2 daughters and they have always shared. They have had so much fun over the years sharing a room together, they have a close bond. I think its a positive thing.

It’s the kids that have to be ‘flexible’ though isn’t it, not the parents. The parents usually have their bedroom, whilst the kids have to share because they want more kids that they can provide rooms for. Great that you didn’t mind but lots of kids actually hate it. I hated it, my partner hated it and my niece is currently staying with us whilst she studies for her A levels as she can’t study properly in her shared room at home. She can’t wait to get to uni to have her own room. And she’s asked if she can stay with us if she comes home for holidays because she doesn’t want to share a room. She really resents her parents decision to have a third child in a small 3 bed house and I can’t blame her.

So what made you ask then?

I think the vast majority of kids who share don't mind, but the ones who do mind seem to make a lot of noise about it and present their discontent as the default position.

mine do DD11, DS9 and DS5. We split the largest room into 2 smaller rooms. 8 year age gap is to much to share with a sibling imo

To get other peoples perspective and whether it works for them or not to give me something to think about in the future but ultimately I feel all that matter initially is a good home.

No. Son has own room. And two girls share. I sleep downstairs

How dare children say they don’t like something. 🙄 Parents make these decisions that make their children’s lives change, often for the worst, and then expect them to be happy.

I remember talking with friends when I was a teenager about hating sharing a bedroom and the ones who also shared said it was shit and wished they had their own room. One of my kids friends has to share with 2 sisters and she hates it. Shes quiet and tidy and the other two are loud and messy. I think it’s common to dislike sharing with siblings especially as you get older. More common that liking it. I suppose some kids don’t dare speak out though as they know their parents are selfish. My partner shared with his brother and they got on ok but still hated sharing a room. He didn’t dare say it to his parents as a child. He was expected to just suck up the fact that they had more kids that they could provide bedrooms for and suck up that they couldn’t really afford the number of kids they had. Again, no ‘flexibility’ from parents, it was the kids that lost out.

I don't have a problem with children sharing rooms especially if they are the same sex and close in age, but I do agree that it's preferable for children to have their own room (or space within the room) as they get older, if possible.

If there is scope to extend your house, that would probably be a good option in future especially as your partner is a builder.

Otherwise if you can afford somewhere bigger in a few years, I think it would be a bit silly not to upsize and make everyone more comfortable. I have two kids with a bedroom each and it's hard enough to maintain peace and harmony

PS baby will obviously be in with you to begin with, but if and when you are ready to move baby into their own room, I would probably move all the rooms - give baby the smallest room, put the older 2 in the biggest room (which you can divide if needed) and you and your partner would have the middle room.

I had 3 kids sharing a room at the time their ages were, 11 (M), 7 (F) and 3 (M). Luckily the room was massive and could have been split but we inevitably moved house. Now they all have their own rooms aged 16,11 & 8 as we have a dining room so use that for eldest. At the time it was a squeeze and not having their own space caused a few arguments but it was all we had at the time.