If you have 3 children do they all have their own room?

[unsureforevermore]

Just that really, I’m expecting in September we have a 8&6 year old boy and girl, plan is for the older two to share for a year or two and then whichever sex the new child is they will then share further down the line.

coming up for a remortgage in October and we think we are just going to pull a bit of money out to pay off a few things so we are a bit more comfortable on mat leave.

anyway do yours all have their own room? Does it work for you? I always shared when I was little and I enjoyed sharing with my sister x

I feel like with the cost of living etc I really don’t want to have a big mortgage I’d rather have more freedom for holidays etc

Ahahahahahahaha this really made me chuckle

Different perspective here.
We have 2, 1 girl soon to be 8 1 boy soon to be 2. We private rent and due to costs we had to downsize last year. Boy is still with us but we are thinking about the transition.
We will get bunk beds. Non of us spend much time in our rooms other than sleeping. There's still enough room for us all to have our own space if we want. I personally feel the bigger age gap is better for sharing than closer age gaps for a couple of reasons. I also think it depends on the kids. Some will be good sharing, others it won't work for.
You need to do what works for you and your family :)

Sounds wise. For now, the plan you have in place is all you can do (maybe have baby in your room for the first year before moving into a shared room). It’s not ideal, but I grew up in a flat and shared a room with siblings who were 6 and, eventually [briefly!!] 9 years younger than me. We had to muddle through until my parents could afford to buy a house with more bedrooms. Even then I shared for a few years with the eldest. It did become an issue when puberty kicked in. That 6 year age gap by that stage, plus homework burdens, meant it sort of came to a head by the time I was 13.

3 children and I’m in an average 3bed semi. I love the house and the area and the market is insane where I am. Houses are going for nearly €100k above asking price in some cases so we are staying put. My two girls have an almost seven year age gap so not ideal but it is what it is and it works out fine . We may turn our downstairs playroom into a bedroom at some stage

I think when your daughter is 12/13, going through puberty, starting her periods etc she will struggle to share with a 7 year old boy, based on my current experience of having a 12 year old daughter and a 7 year old son.

It’s just crazy isn’t it at the moment the market !

I have 3 (boy girl boy) with two years between. The youngest is in a tiny box room but does have his own room. If I’d had boy boy girl or boy girl girl I would have had them sharing, but it felt like a short term solution to have the baby sharing with his sister (she’d want privacy within a few years) or older brother (a 5 year difference means different routines or bedtimes). I think ideally with your age gap they would have their own room but people used to share rooms a lot years ago and they all grew up fine!

I think she'd only be sharing if the new sibling is a girl.

I have 3. My b/g twins shared till they were 7 then I put the boys together (nearly 3 years age gap). It was hideous. They just fought. DS1 (10) had not shared before and found it really tough. I ended up giving up my lovely loft bedroom and dividing in half so the boys could have their own rooms! I think you can solve this a bit later down the line but for the moment I would keep the baby/ toddler with you as long as possible and by then circumstances may be different.

7 year age gap between me and younger sister and I hated sharing. You have even more of a gap. If you had had the children closer together in age it might have worked. I remember particular being 12, starting secondary school...had to be quiet at night for the younger one, could not hang out in room with my friends as teens progressed. Honestly it's awful for the older child and hope you extend. At 15 my parents moved n I got my own room...Privacy to write my diary, study. Play my own music, friends...bliss !!

I was replying to the poster I quoted who said that her 7 year old daughter is going to be sharing with her 1 year old son.

Sorry, my mistake

Growing up, I was one of four, two boys, two girls. 7 year gap between the girls, 5 year gap between the boys.

When younger I shared with closest in age - so girl-boy, 2 year gap. I was very happy with that.

Later I shared with younger sister, from when she was three or so, up until I left home.

We didn’t wake each other at night, it didn’t disturb her when I went to bed.
She did wake me on weekend mornings, but that wasn’t particularly a negative.

We were both similarly untidy, that probably helped keep it peaceful (if not particularly pristine)
We argued sometimes, of course, but generally it worked, and we just got with it. Though I know she was delighted to have a room to herself half the year when I left for university (she was just starting secondary at that point).

Younger brother was similarly happy to have his own space when older brother went off on a gap year and then to university - he would have been 13 when he got his own room.

I wouldn’t say it was a particularly negative experience for any of us. We are very close as adults - perhaps partly due to growing up in each others pockets, I don’t know!

Yes, when they were little my three DC all chose to sleep in one room leaving two rooms empty! But when they became teens they wanted their own space and moved out of the shared room.

Yes three kids and all have their own room. The 15 and 12 year olds rooms are massive with king size beds. The 4 year old has a box room. But we hope to move in the next few years.

If we have a third they will be staying in with us for as long as possible until we can hopefully move or we would get a sofa bed and give the bedrooms to the children.

I wouldn’t find this problematic if your older children were both the same sex or if the age gap between them and their youngest sibling was smaller.

and yes, children/teenager not sharing their rooms with opposite sex or much younger siblings may very well be cultural. But isn’t that your culture? The culture you’ve been raising your DC in?

With that age gap I would keep the youngest in with parents for a few years so they are not disrupting the other children’s sleep and then look at extending or moving. In a few years time your children might want to spend more time in their rooms and have later bedtimes and not want to be sharing with a toddler.

I personally feel that children need own space it's ok when they are little I guess it's what your circumstances allow. You will get different responses but for us it was important to be able to provide the children with a bedroom each. I understand why it might not always be possible but long term is not ideal in my opinion.

are you 8yrs older Than your sister ?

yes kids share but surely you can see that if have own bedrooms for 6-8yrs then have to share with a much you ver sibling is hard

depending on lay out of house /I would try and make the largest double bedroom into 2 with a fake wall so have 3 single bed rooms (double into 2 and box room) and you/dh have the other double smaller

Yes, our children have their own bedrooms. I had to share growing up and hated it. I moved out at 18 for university and never went back. We wouldn’t have had more children than we could provide bedrooms for as I think the vast majority of people like their own space, and knowing how much I hated it, I couldn’t have done that to my child if they had felt similar to me about it.

I think it will be manageable until the oldest one sharing gets to secondary school, so hopefully you will change things then.

Yeah there was actually 8 years between me and my sister weirdly

I’ll revisit in a few years thanks for all responses defo something to think hard about

The thing is though, how realistic is it that you will be able to do anything differently in a few years. You are having to borrow more money to make your on maternity leave comfortable. It doesn’t sound like you will have spare money in a few years.

I’d be back working so I wouldn’t be on maternity pay and if it’s not realistic that we can’t do anything differently then it is what it is they will have to share.