I gave up the school run and I feel Amazing but MIL thinks I’m lazy

[Feelsomuchbetter]

I have ASD and ADHD . I struggle a lot. The school run has been hell for me. Dh drives past the school on his way to work so 3 months ago I asked him to please take the dc instead of me doing it. He was previously leaving 10 mins before we had to now he drops dc at breakfast club a bit earlier.

I feel SO much better. I’ve been able to wean myself off AD and I’m not mentally ruined by 9 am . MIL has been saying it’s not fair on dh !!!! That he should have a calm drive to work not stopping off at all ?? Dh is fine to do it he doesn’t mind, hasn’t complained .

To add - they go to after school club 2 days a week as well as dh works later those days and the other 3 he works from home so can pick up at normal time . It’s literally stopped me from having a breakdown so I’m quite hurt MIL thinks I’m lazy

Dh needs to tell mil to mind her own business.

Sounds like you found the perfect solution.

If you and DH are happy then ignore her. Do you work? The only thing I can think is if you don’t work she perhaps thinks it’s unfair your DH works and does the school run etc etc but ultimately if that works for you guys then it doesn’t matter either way.

Bizarre that your MIL gets an opinion on your arrangements. I'm also autistic and the relief I felt after the school run years were over was next level!

I am puzzled as to why you give a toss what MIL thinks!

You and your DH have made an arrangement that suits you both - end of.

I am a mother-in-law and I would expect - and deserve- the question: what on earth has it got to do with you?

Who gives a toss what your MIL thinks, it’s not her life or her business!

Is she aware how much you struggle?

Even so, none of her business really. Don't share these things with her.

How does she know? Has your DH been whining to her?

Has he been complaining about it to her? Otherwise I don't even know why she knows about the arrangement. She openly calls you lazy? She sounds an absolute dream. Not.
Just ignore her. I bet that's not the only mean thing she does. Just keep your distance as much as possible. If she keeps on at you, just say we are very happy with the way we parent our children and don't require advice or opinions from you on the subject.

If your DH doesn’t mind it’s nothing to do with her.

If you don’t work it is a bit lazy though. You just have to learn not to care about others opinions.

Good job she doesn't get any input then.
DH needs to make that clear to her

Just wanted to comment as I also struggle with the school run massively and I've only just started doing it. I am a SAHM and my partner does 3 out of the 5 days and it has helped hugely with my overall wellbeing. I know my MIL would think the same thing though but I don't give a shit anymore. Am also autistic! Do what works for you guys.

MIL needs to shut her gob.

The fact that it was on DHs way to work was one of the reasons we chose our DCs primary school.

As long as you and your DH are happy then I don't see the problem.

Hmm I'm in two minds.
Think it depends if you're working or not.

He’s going that way anyway, I don’t see the problem.

I don't think my MIL would have any idea who does the dropping off/picking up every day, just dont discuss these things with her if she's judgy!

I am very glad to be done with school run.
Really none of MIL business, feel no guilt

Why is your mil privy to this information?
It's nothing to do with her
Has dh been moaning to her?

To echo others how did she know? Has she been complaining or was it just randomly shared, if randomly shared pull back from sharing this kind of info unless it effects her in some way and she needs to know, it’s nothing to do with her so just ignore the complaints if dh is happy with it

I don’t think he has been complaining as he was more than happy to do it. I had mentioned something to her one day in a conversation about it that’s how she knew as she said I looked better and I’d said about feeling a lot less stressed

I don’t work as had to give up 3 years ago . I have 2 volunteer roles though which I do. One is every Thursday at the food bank and the other is in a hospital 2-3 times a week. At some point I do want to work again but currently I’m not feeling ready.

Do you mind me asking what it was that stressed you about it? I find it overwhelming too, want to work on it but haven't worked out what exactly it is that I struggle with..