How do autism bashing threads make you feel?

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

Haven't had one in a while, but there's a pretty representative one going on in AIBU atm.

How do these make you feel?

I feel angry and go kind of hot and cold inside. I know it's not worth arguing on them anymore, but they're referring to me and my ds when they're saying the terrible things they're saying. Autism is who I am as a person, ergo I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve to exist. I deserved to be abused and drugged when I was a kid. I deserved to be bullied throughout school and in adulthood. I'm a nuisance, a waste of space, a burden, someone who shouldn't be treading the earth. People hate me because of what I am.

Sure, people should have a space to talk about how their kid's difficulties affect them, but should they be allowed to generalise about the condition?

Autistic people who can express themselves, like us, are truly despised and dismissed. We're the lowest of the low by not following the narrative of autism is awful.

I feel bad for ds because this is how people feel about autistics

It's my birthday today. A reminder that I shouldn't have ever been born.

@imitatingdory
I totally agree

Barrow just because someone has a differing opinion to you does not make one ableist! Nor uneducated or offensive.

Differing opinions are fine, but i won't tolerate being told that I'm wrong for feeling the way I do by avoiding NT people, in the outside world.

This is clearly a thread for support, for sharing like experiences. Why would anyone who does not want to be supportive, think it acceptable to post on the thread?

If you want to complain about autistic people and how awful autism is then perhaps you should start your own thread to express your opinions.

This is clearly a thread for support, for sharing like experiences. Why would anyone who does not want to be supportive, think it acceptable to post on the thread?

Exactly!

But it is fine for some ND posters to tell other ND posters they are wrong, for example, for seeing autism as a disability or for viewing autism (the disability, not the person) negatively? Differing opinions have been called offensive, ableist and uneducated on this thread, so clearly some ND posters don’t see differing opinions from other ND posters as fine.

It smacks of kick 'em when they're down.

So, thanks for that.

"Because, at the moment, it seems that despite this being a board for ND posters you are only welcome to post if you are ND and have one viewpoint"

I hope that stops tbh. We have enough on without arguing with each other. We're not always going to agree with each other and that's fine. But we can still be supportive of each other even if we disagree.

But it is fine for some ND posters to tell other ND posters they are wrong, for example, for seeing autism as a disability or for viewing autism (the disability, not the person) negatively? Differing opinions have been called offensive, ableist and uneducated on this thread, so clearly some ND posters don’t see differing opinions from other ND posters as fine.

Oh it's so awful. I'd give anything to be a normal person and have friends and go to parties. I hate being disabled. Not a day goes by when I'm not angry and distressed at my plight.

When are they going to sort this out?

My poor son, I'd give anything for him to be like other people's children. Why has this happened to me?! I promise I'll make more effort and mask better and go to the crafting club and chat to the other middle aged women who absolutely will not look at me as though I've got two heads and talk about me behind my back when I go to the toilet, because they are nice people. I've been told they're nice people and I believe people when they say that.

I have not kicked anyone when they are down.

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

NT people fail to understand what autism is or how it affects people. NT people generalise based on false assumptions, we generalise based on direct lived experience.

This is SO true!

It must give you such a thrill to believe you've got one over on some random who has a social communication difficulty.

I don't think I have got one over on you. I have pointed out that what I said is not akin to telling an abused person to return to their partner.

You feel your actions are self preservation. That is your choice. People don't have to agree with you.

I am saddened that your experience of NT people has been so shit. I'm sorry you were abused as a child.

I'm really going now!

@Imitatingdory

This board is for ND, this thread is about a sub-set of ND - autism and the ableism directed against us.

I don’t want any person, ND, NT or otherwise to experience discrimination but this is a thread for autistic people to discuss their feelings about the prejudice against us.

If you are autistic then of course you’re opinion, different or not, is welcome. But if you are not, then I think it’s very inappropriate to come onto a thread and tell autistic people they are wrong, and what they are experiencing is not ableism.

And @Newrunner29 - are you autistic?

The thing is it isn't just the odd "mean" NT person. The vast majority seem to physically recoil when I try to talk to them. They might not mean it but I'm obviously not "autistic enough" that they can tell straight away but they can sense something is off. You start getting cut out of conversations, people physically turn their backs to you. It's relentless.
I've done this for far too long to give a shit any more so I'm not even going to try. Why should I?

[quote Scautish]@Imitatingdory

This board is for ND, this thread is about a sub-set of ND - autism and the ableism directed against us.

I don’t want any person, ND, NT or otherwise to experience discrimination but this is a thread for autistic people to discuss their feelings about the prejudice against us.

If you are autistic then of course you’re opinion, different or not, is welcome. But if you are not, then I think it’s very inappropriate to come onto a thread and tell autistic people they are wrong, and what they are experiencing is not ableism.[/quote]
People who are ND and are disagreeing with some things mentioned and they are being told they are offensive. I think there is a big difference between a parent coming on here talking about the daily struggles with their autistic child and a partner complanining or struggling which ever way its phrased with their parter and discussing autism. The OP doesnt see the difference. The mocking of parents grief of the 'typical ' experience isnt a insult to autistic people its a natural process that some not all parents can go thou. Them deciding to avoid NT people as they have generalised them all to be bad or negative is obviously their choice but then to say that NT people are wrong for generalising , surely that can be seen as hypocritical.

@ofwarren I understand.

My ds2 (aspergers), who was the sweetest little year 7 there was. Polite, well behaved, eager to learn and help others. He was bullied relentlessly from starting in the September. The final straw was when he was assaulted and called a f*ing ginger fa**ot. My heart broke that day. I even went up to the school and shouted at the older boy who'd done it when he came out of school. I couldn't help myself. I ceased to give a shit right there and then.

Ds2 did not return to mainstream school.

I will never give a shit ever again when it comes to people. It's over. Finished.

but this is a thread for autistic people to discuss their feelings about the prejudice against us.

And not for the NT's to come along and correct us/offer their input etc.

I would not go over to the section for black mumsnetters and post to tell black people about my experiences because I'm not black and I have no place there. I have total respect for that boundary. Yet this thread (and other threads) is a free for all. It's a sickening double standard.

Similar situation here with my eldest @barrowinfurnessrailwaystation
He left secondary school for good at 13 years old. The bullying was awful. He got the homophobic slurs because he told people he was bisexual. It reached the point where he ended up under the mental health services due to threatening to end his life.
He was goaded so badly at school that he smashed his hand up punching a wall. He started hearing voices which CAMHS said was a stress response.

@ofwarren that's terrible for your ds. What these kids go through defies belief. Bullying of autistic kids in school is rife, even by their so called friends

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

@ofwarren

I cannot imagine how difficult it is to manage your emotions when your children are being bullied and abused. It's bad enough that we are subjected to those adverse experiences, but the pain of seeing history repeating itself when your children are targeted must be soul destroying.

I have adhd i am waiting for an autism assessment