How do autism bashing threads make you feel?

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

Haven't had one in a while, but there's a pretty representative one going on in AIBU atm.

How do these make you feel?

I feel angry and go kind of hot and cold inside. I know it's not worth arguing on them anymore, but they're referring to me and my ds when they're saying the terrible things they're saying. Autism is who I am as a person, ergo I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve to exist. I deserved to be abused and drugged when I was a kid. I deserved to be bullied throughout school and in adulthood. I'm a nuisance, a waste of space, a burden, someone who shouldn't be treading the earth. People hate me because of what I am.

Sure, people should have a space to talk about how their kid's difficulties affect them, but should they be allowed to generalise about the condition?

Autistic people who can express themselves, like us, are truly despised and dismissed. We're the lowest of the low by not following the narrative of autism is awful.

I feel bad for ds because this is how people feel about autistics

It's my birthday today. A reminder that I shouldn't have ever been born.

[JohnMcCainsDeathStare]

True but it gets very sussy if they get super defensive when anyone tries to apply 'not about us without us.'

[Scautish]

I don’t think they are all wind ups - maybe some - I think genuinely many people feel that autistic people - whatever our diagnosis - can be discussed freely and pejoratively without consequence and that applies particularly autistic adults without learning difficulties.

[BlackeyedSusan]

Probably best barrow. Thanks to those who reported it.

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

I think half those threads are a wind up tbh. They're looking for a reaction. I'm never posting on any of them again, including the adhd ones. I don't believe they're genuine.

[Scautish]

I reported it. It was awful. But MNHQ zapped quickly so that’s good.

But it was a great example of how terribly people can speak of autistic people without thinking they are doing anything wrong

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

I didn't see it, but I'm glad that MNHQ are on the ball and acknowledging that autism bashing threads are negative and distressing and not acceptable in this day and age.

[Inspectorslack]

I reported that thread pretty much instantly.

(Regular. Name changed. Am pretty sure I’m autistic but not diagnosed.)

[ofwarren]

@Percie

They've already zapped it as 'not in the spirit' - pretty quick tonight

Oh good, it was dreadful

[Percie]

They've already zapped it as 'not in the spirit' - pretty quick tonight

[ofwarren]

An AIBU has just begun about a woman with an autistic husband and child.
Dont read it if you may find it upsetting.

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

@EatSleepRantRepeat you're welcome 💚

[MichaelMumsnet]

Hi all, we've removed a couple of posts that aren't in the spirit of civil debate on this thread - hopefully things can get back on track now.

We've also added a disclaimer to the top of each page:

This board exists primarily for the use of Neurodiverse Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

As always, if you have any concerns about a post or poster, or that someone isn't posting within the spirit of civil debate then please report - we're always fine to take a look.

[EatSleepRantRepeat]

The irony of people trying to kick @BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation when they are down, when they are one of the people who keep this board going, is unreal. I was really struggling earlier in the week and Barrow was the only person who responded to my thread and offered support.

Thanks Barrow 💚

[BlackeyedSusan]

It's fine to understand your child. That's your job as a parent and good kind parenting. But you wouldn't assume that because you understand your individual child you understand all autistic people.


We are not all the same. Autism has a spiky profile. Take care he socks thread. Some love them. Some hate them. And presumably quite a few people think they are just socks.

It was the othering of the tone of the comment that was the issue.

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

Thats honestly not my intention and im sorry if i come across like that. Im not coming back to this particular thread and probably not this board i dont believe its truly for everyone who is ND because if u have a different opnion or disagree u told ur insulting u a troll or u get a kick out of picking on certain people

You are displaying petulance and looking for things that aren't even there. Look at all the perfectly supportive threads in this new area then I get multiple people coming on this thread to kick me when I was feeling unhappy about a troll thread in AIBU.

If you can't even see what the problem with that is then I give up.

Not everyone buys into your narrative that autism is a horrendous disability that really needs to be sorted out. Autism is neither positive or negative, it's a minority neurotype that means we struggle in the neurotypical world. I absolutely refuse to view myself as a useless, broken person because I'm autistic. Quite frankly it's very unhealthy. I haven't brought up my kids to think that way either. I've suffered more than most people due to some extremely bad luck in my life, but I still refuse to be dragged down.

Thank you to the many posters who were supportive 💚

[BringBackCoffeeCreams]

So a NT person saying they are trying to understand autistic people is an insult?! It could be to u, but not everyone, i think trying to understand anyone shows better than dismissing or not considering they may think differently, isnt thinking differently a part of being ND? So them trying to understand the differences makes sense

Are you being deliberately obtuse? The point that poster was making was that they'd spent a lot of time trying to understand autistic people and as a result now felt it appropriate to come onto a support thread for autistic people and correct them all on their experiences of being autistic. What's the neurotypical version of 'mansplaining'? Because that's what they were doing.

[BringBackCoffeeCreams]

[quote CorrBlimeyGG]@Newrunner29 Please stop trying to minimise the experiences and feelings of others. This is a thread for support. It honestly comes across that you get a kick out of picking on certain posters. I'm sure that's not your intention.[/quote]
Well said.

[Newrunner29]

[quote CorrBlimeyGG]@Newrunner29 Please stop trying to minimise the experiences and feelings of others. This is a thread for support. It honestly comes across that you get a kick out of picking on certain posters. I'm sure that's not your intention.[/quote]
Thats honestly not my intention and im sorry if i come across like that. Im not coming back to this particular thread and probably not this board i dont believe its truly for everyone who is ND because if u have a different opnion or disagree u told ur insulting u a troll or u get a kick out of picking on certain people 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Comefromaway]

I try to understand my son. He has PDA. Totally different to the rest of us. Surely us trying to understand him (dh went on a course to help) is only a good thing. (It also hindered his diagnosis as he didn't adhere to the so called rules of an autistic person)

[CorrBlimeyGG]

@Newrunner29 Please stop trying to minimise the experiences and feelings of others. This is a thread for support. It honestly comes across that you get a kick out of picking on certain posters. I'm sure that's not your intention.

[Newrunner29]

@BlackeyedSusan

The post where they said they tried to understand autistics. Like we are something to be studied.

So a NT person saying they are trying to understand autistic people is an insult?! It could be to u, but not everyone, i think trying to understand anyone shows better than dismissing or not considering they may think differently, isnt thinking differently a part of being ND? So them trying to understand the differences makes sense 🤷🏼‍♀️

[BlackeyedSusan]

The post where they said they tried to understand autistics. Like we are something to be studied.

[Newrunner29]

[quote LilyRed]@Newrunner29 please read the whole thread and you will see what what sort of things I am talking about.

I am not interested in taking this discussion any further at present.[/quote]
I have read whole thread and havent seen what u have suggested, its why i wanted to know where u have seen it.