How do autism bashing threads make you feel?

[BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation]

Haven't had one in a while, but there's a pretty representative one going on in AIBU atm.

How do these make you feel?

I feel angry and go kind of hot and cold inside. I know it's not worth arguing on them anymore, but they're referring to me and my ds when they're saying the terrible things they're saying. Autism is who I am as a person, ergo I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve to exist. I deserved to be abused and drugged when I was a kid. I deserved to be bullied throughout school and in adulthood. I'm a nuisance, a waste of space, a burden, someone who shouldn't be treading the earth. People hate me because of what I am.

Sure, people should have a space to talk about how their kid's difficulties affect them, but should they be allowed to generalise about the condition?

Autistic people who can express themselves, like us, are truly despised and dismissed. We're the lowest of the low by not following the narrative of autism is awful.

I feel bad for ds because this is how people feel about autistics

It's my birthday today. A reminder that I shouldn't have ever been born.

[ofwarren]

I guess that's why it's classed as a spectrum as we are all different and struggle with different things to different degrees.
What was her diagnosis? I've read people say they break it down into ASD 1 and 2 these days, with 2 being people who struggle the most.
It was aspergers when I got diagnosed and looking at the new criteria I would assume I'd be given ASD 1 these days.

[ofwarren]

@ofwarren

I guess that's why it's classed as a spectrum as we are all different and struggle with different things to different degrees.
What was her diagnosis? I've read people say they break it down into ASD 1 and 2 these days, with 2 being people who struggle the most.
It was aspergers when I got diagnosed and looking at the new criteria I would assume I'd be given ASD 1 these days.

Sorry, my quote tweets aren't working for some reason.

[ofwarren]

Omg, I'm losing my mind today. Not quote tweets, I mean the quote function. Sorry

[EatSleepRantRepeat]

@ofwarren

I guess that's why it's classed as a spectrum as we are all different and struggle with different things to different degrees.
What was her diagnosis? I've read people say they break it down into ASD 1 and 2 these days, with 2 being people who struggle the most.
It was aspergers when I got diagnosed and looking at the new criteria I would assume I'd be given ASD 1 these days.

That's interesting - my psychologist told me at the time that they tended to use autism, and autism plus associated learning difficulties. I landed squarely in the autism scoring band rather than aspergers, but they said as I was also very highly intelligent and communicated well that there is often no one set "box" or category that fits everything.

[Comefromaway]

@ofwarren

I guess that's why it's classed as a spectrum as we are all different and struggle with different things to different degrees.
What was her diagnosis? I've read people say they break it down into ASD 1 and 2 these days, with 2 being people who struggle the most.
It was aspergers when I got diagnosed and looking at the new criteria I would assume I'd be given ASD 1 these days.

DD’s diagnosis was Asperger’s.

By the time Ds was diagnosed a couple of years later they’d stopped using Asperger’s and his diagnosis was high functioning autism.

[Imitatingdory]

Comefromaway DS3 (diagnosis of ASD, would have been HFA if diagnosed before the switch to encompass all under ASD) can hear the water in the pipes too and the radiators/fridge etc. He finds birds tweeting really difficult too. Also breathing noises (even his own), the tapping on keyboards/tablets etc. even when he is the one on said iPad/laptop. He also hates clothes. He would happily wear nothing. Compounded by his struggle to regulate temperature, he is always freezing or boiling nothing in between, and doesn’t know when he needs to put another layer on/take one off. We are incredibly lucky that his EHCP provides a lot of support and an amazingly supportive school. But you are right school is a sensory nightmare.

ofwarren The DSM classifies ASD as 3 levels. Table 1 explains more.

[ProfessorSillyStuff]

Wow my boys are both diagnosed Asd3, there is a part for communication and a part for repetitive behaviors. They both scored 3, 2 consecutively.

I'm grateful for this discourse. I realise some are finding it difficult, I hope we can express ourselves fully but respectfully, because I am hoping to create resources for autistic people, especially kids, and one thing I want to research first is "things which could offend other autistic people but which I don't find offensive personally", as I want all autistic people and their carers/loved ones to enjoy the materials and feel comfortable using them.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation for other people's kids. I have fears of the same in my kids future if I don't play it right, and the children's service workers think I am a crazy doomsayer:(

[Percie]

I want all autistic people and their carers/loved ones to enjoy the materials and feel comfortable using them

This is a nice aspiration but is likely unachievable. It's clear from this thread that there are strong opinions which mean not everyone will be comfortable with the same things.

What sort of resources are you thinking of making @ProfessorSillyStuff ?

[ProfessorSillyStuff]

Thanks @Percie! I'm starting out try to re-engineer the PECS system a bit, make it less focused on carer whims/desires and more visually appealing/personal (as I think visual learning is really important) and maybe write and illustrated some kids books eg. Having a NT person (who has peaked) relay the story but from the asd child's perspective, eg. "My brother is a cat!"

I'm gonna study illustration and if I get more confident I'll make materials that are for older kids and young adults and tackle the gnarly stuff more.

I also want to blog and write useful tutorials for teaching methods/activities, activism etc, start a local non profit neurodiversity library that holds courses, groups, research, and publish the materials free. I have a website in beta I can share by pm if interested. May need to split it by age later.

Researching what exactly it is I need to create to help other autistic people is fascinating and teaching me a lot more about myself than I anticipated!

[BlackeyedSusan]

even alone, though I can not get away from the intensity of emotions. now that is shit. to be fair. quite a few are caused by encounters with NT people.

oh and I should be emailing school right now, (ok about two days ago) but struggling to think of what to say.

[BlackeyedSusan]

as to communication with NT people: I have found a church that is very accepting and has a high concentration of ND children I do not know of any other ND adults in church. (ok probably one but they may be undiagnosed)

I have been to other churches which are completely shit at being accomodating and where you are seen as a problem to be solved.

[LilyRed]

I find engaging with NT people difficult and frankly I am almost always at home because I find I no longer can cope with interactions and the anxiety they cause and the negative feelings it causes.

DP's mother's behavior of late has been truly awful. She is NT with dementia who didn't like me before the dementia and now just goes out of her way to cause an argument (dementia makes previously bad behaviour worse in many cases) It is so very tiring and upsetting and like living with an abuser: something many dementia carers say. This also upsets DP, but he is being a moody git rather than behaving well as he harks back to the way she was in his childhood...

My response with confrontation is now mostly to hide as I have had my confrontational response either beaten out of me by a couple of NT partners or just been generally verbally abused so that now I shut up, clam up and want to hide under the desk.

I believe the NT ? or argumentative posters appearing here are either trolls or at least should be reported for the disruption that they are causing. Being an NT Mumsnetter with a ND partner is very different from being an ND Mumsnetter and we are not here to be their whipping boys

[Imitatingdory]

Lilyred if you are including posters such as myself who have a differing opinion in your ”NT ? or argumentative posters appearing here are either trolls or at least should be reported for the disruption that they are causing” I can a) tell you to read the thread I have posted I have autism,, and b) that I am a long standing poster on MN under various names and post regularly on the SN boards. Having a different opinion does not make one NT, argumentative, a troll or deletion worthy.

[Percie]

@Imitatingdory I agree with this: Having a different opinion does not make one NT, argumentative, a troll or deletion worthy.

The only thing that we all have in common is autism. Our life experiences are vastly different. I can understand PPs wanting to avoid NTs after what they've experienced. But that isn't everyone's experience. There's no point in having a board for ND folk if we're not allowed to share our varied opinions and experiences.

[Percie]

@ProfessorSillyStuff that's a lot! I'd be really interested in the research/website if you don't mind sharing

[LilyRed]

@Imitatingdory I did not mention you by name and neither was I referring to you as far as I know. I do not believe that I am denigrating your lived experience.

However, there are posters using this thread to bash us or just be generally argumentative and unpleasant.

Very often trolls from outside (or within) Mumsnet latch onto areas like this to cause trouble.= and there seem to be one or two such individuals who have consistently popped up on this thread. I was referring to them.

I have also been here a long time. I chose not to post often.

[Newrunner29]

[quote LilyRed]@Imitatingdory I did not mention you by name and neither was I referring to you as far as I know. I do not believe that I am denigrating your lived experience.

However, there are posters using this thread to bash us or just be generally argumentative and unpleasant.

Very often trolls from outside (or within) Mumsnet latch onto areas like this to cause trouble.= and there seem to be one or two such individuals who have consistently popped up on this thread. I was referring to them.

I have also been here a long time. I chose not to post often.[/quote]
Genuinely asking which poster or things they have said on this thread that u consider bashing people being argumentative or unpleasant?

[LilyRed]

@Newrunner29 please read the whole thread and you will see what what sort of things I am talking about.

I am not interested in taking this discussion any further at present.

[Newrunner29]

[quote LilyRed]@Newrunner29 please read the whole thread and you will see what what sort of things I am talking about.

I am not interested in taking this discussion any further at present.[/quote]
I have read whole thread and havent seen what u have suggested, its why i wanted to know where u have seen it.

[BlackeyedSusan]

The post where they said they tried to understand autistics. Like we are something to be studied.

[Newrunner29]

@BlackeyedSusan

The post where they said they tried to understand autistics. Like we are something to be studied.

So a NT person saying they are trying to understand autistic people is an insult?! It could be to u, but not everyone, i think trying to understand anyone shows better than dismissing or not considering they may think differently, isnt thinking differently a part of being ND? So them trying to understand the differences makes sense 🤷🏼‍♀️

[CorrBlimeyGG]

@Newrunner29 Please stop trying to minimise the experiences and feelings of others. This is a thread for support. It honestly comes across that you get a kick out of picking on certain posters. I'm sure that's not your intention.

[Comefromaway]

I try to understand my son. He has PDA. Totally different to the rest of us. Surely us trying to understand him (dh went on a course to help) is only a good thing. (It also hindered his diagnosis as he didn't adhere to the so called rules of an autistic person)

[Newrunner29]

[quote CorrBlimeyGG]@Newrunner29 Please stop trying to minimise the experiences and feelings of others. This is a thread for support. It honestly comes across that you get a kick out of picking on certain posters. I'm sure that's not your intention.[/quote]
Thats honestly not my intention and im sorry if i come across like that. Im not coming back to this particular thread and probably not this board i dont believe its truly for everyone who is ND because if u have a different opnion or disagree u told ur insulting u a troll or u get a kick out of picking on certain people 🤷🏼‍♀️

[BringBackCoffeeCreams]

[quote CorrBlimeyGG]@Newrunner29 Please stop trying to minimise the experiences and feelings of others. This is a thread for support. It honestly comes across that you get a kick out of picking on certain posters. I'm sure that's not your intention.[/quote]
Well said.