Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

I was at a BBQ at a frriend who invited his best friend and friend's annoying girlfriend. It was meant to rain a bit, so I took an umbrella and left it in the hall. We were outside, it started drizzling, I went to get my umbrella and on the way I bumped into the gf... leaving the house with my umbrella. I was like- oh, my umbrella, thanks. She was like- oh I saw it lying around in the hall, and I had to wrestle it out of her hand as she did not want to let it go. When we made it to the garden, she tried to move my hand so that I would hold the umbrella above her and her BFs head!

Went on a date (after 10 years of being a di for mom) that actually went well... That is until he hugged me and I rubbed the back of his head like he was my child hugging me. As it was happening my brain is going "what are you doing... Stop... He's a grown man". Ugh.

Divorced*

I was with my son and d-in-law at their huuuge place in the US.Their male visitor arrived. I wasn't wearing my specs, the lamps were low, and I walked into their enormous lounge, saw the visitor sitting in an armchair, walked forward to shake his hand, saying "how do you do?! It's lovely to meet you!"to be answered by the man saying "errr, hello mum!"

Years ago, was at the children's walk-in with dd who had broken her finger. Was handed a disc containing the xray and told to attend at the hospital the following day.
I thought that was a nice gesture to give my daughter the disc and thought she'd she'd be quite interested to see her finger on our home pc. So I'm gushing, "how exciting. Say thank you" to my dd and wondering why the nurse is looking at me a bit .
Next day, doctor asked to see the xray which I hadn't brought with me. Looked around me to see every other parent with their cd.
Oh, I still cringe.

@FrancesFlute i used to work in a bank and you dont reeall SEE people's ages all the time unless your interest is piqued in some way. Trails of people and account applications and you're inured after a while. You're on auto pilot. Faces start to blend in to each other. I couldnt have told you if somebody had lodged a draft that morning by the afternoon. So the bank teller probably hadnt looked at the pair of you!

I once went into a small and very crowded restaurant. A man came towards me and I said hello, table for 4 please. He was just going to the loo and didn't work there.

My parents had made an appointment for a new accountant to come round and sort out their self assessments at home. Their house is hard to find and they noticed a man in a suit with briefcase looking lost outside, rather than checking who he was, they just invited him in.

The man entered put on shoe protectors, complemented them on their house and accepted a cup of tea. My parents had arranged all their bank statements and invoices out on the dining room table which they invited the man to sit at. They proceeded to explain non stop what they did for about 10 minutes. Afterwards the gentleman asked to look round the rest of the house. My parents said that wasn’t necessary, he looked very taken aback and said he would need to see the rest to prepare a valuation and sales particular.

Turns out he was an estate agent with an appointment at another house on the lane. The accountant duly turned up later.

Another one that sticks in my mind was when my Dd's husband was mistaken for her dad!
When she was 8 months pregnant (aged 23) she said that she hadn't felt the baby moving for about 6 hours. She phoned the antenatal unit at the hospital,who told her to come in so they could monitor her. I went with her and her Dh to the hospital.
Now,her Dh is 14 years older than her,so he was 37 at the time,I was 42. She was rigged up to the baby heart monitor for a hour or so,then a doctor came round to see her. He looked at me and her Dh sitting either side of her,and said 'It's lovely to see that your mum and dad have come with you'. Her Dh looked mortified,while I was trying not to laugh. I don't think her Dh was going to correct the doctor,but Dd piped up 'He's not my dad,he's my husband'. The doctor was SO embarrassed and kept apologising. Dd and I still laugh about it now.

Starting a new job in a pub as a teenager, a regular gave a long drinks order of around ten drinks ending with "... and don't forgot a VAT for me". I thought he meant don't forget to add Value Added Tax, turns out VAT is an abbreviation for a Vodka And Tonic. Whilst I was fixing the other ten drinks, he kept reminding me about the VAT, which I thought was very conscientious of him to want to check the appropriate tax was added. Then he started getting a bit irritated and asked if I could fix the VAT for him first (as I was new it was taking me ages to get the other ten drinks), and I kept saying that I needed to do the VAT at the end (as the till added it on when I rang it all up). Right at the end he paid, then he looked at me expectantly and asked "where's the VAT? Where's my vodka?!" and I twigged (and had to charge him again !)

These have really made me laugh!

When I was in secondary school (around 16yo), a group of us were tasked with getting photos of our classmates for a collage of our year.

I went up to a girl I didn’t know more than to say hello to, made some light chit chat and then asked if I could get a photo of her.

She looked at me like and said, ‘erm, okay...? I think my mum has some photos of me at home, I can bring it tomorrow’.

It turned out she hadn’t spotted my camera and knew nothing about the collage. She thought I wanted a photo of her for some weird personal collection.

It was 14 years ago and I still go cold and clammy at the memory.

@Cordial11i used to call my grandad pop but my dh calls his dad pop so it can be used for either

I’m a PA and my boss was having a meeting with a French client. My boss called me to the conference room and asked me to get them some water. As I was walking out of the room, the client said: “wizard gas please.”

“I’m not sure that we have wizard gas,” I said somewhat confused.

“I would like wizard gas,” he repeated.

I went back to my colleagues and frantically asked: “does anyone know what the bloody hell wizard gas is?” Queue blank stares from everyone. Took me a while to realise that the client was asking for still water not sparkling and he’d actually been saying: ‘without gas.’

I had just moved to the country and acquired a dog, having previously been a total city girl.
I was walking the dog one morning and came across a very old very country neighbour, with a very strong local accent.

We chatted for a bit, then he gestured at my dog and asked, "Is it a dog or a ?"
I stared at him for a long moment.
"It's ...a...dog." while my face was clearly giving off "WTF, dude?" vibes. I mean, it quite clearly wasn't a fucking bear or something, so what was this simpleton on? Our friendly chat ended quite abruptly, as I made my excuses and hightailed it out of there.
It was quite a few days later that the penny finally dropped and I realised that his question was actually, "is it a dog or a bitch?" She was actually a bitch, as it happens.

Shutup I think that woman was outrageously rude! Going on and on about it even after you'd put her straight. Some people just have no filter.

Few years back, standing with some of the playground mums. One (very attractive) mum was bemoaning the fact that when a woman hits 40, she becomes invisible
'Who said that?' I jokingly asked, thinking I was being oh so quick-witted.
Cue blank looks all round.

CrabApple that reminds me of my brother who is a retired police officer. Many years ago he attended a property to discuss a matter with a family - I think the teenage sons had been fairly er naughty and he was going to give them a stern talking to, so the family were quite nervous.

DB briefly explained what was going to happen and then (having been out for hours) thought hmm I really need the loo. So he said “sorry, but please may I use your bathroom?” The family looked really confused and hesitant but said yes, and the mum got up to show him the way. As he went up the stairs behind her he noticed the whole family trooping up behind him. When they got to the bathroom the whole family followed him in.

There was an uncomfortable pause before DB looked at the expectant faces of the four other people crowded into the small bathroom and realised they thought he wanted to interview them in there

My dad answered the phone back in around 78, and said to me "it's for you Flibbery , it's Jill" I was around 14 at the time , didn't know any Jill's, however took the phone and spent around 5 awkward minutes general chit chatting with this lady on the phone.... only when I asked how she'd done at school that day did she realise it was completely the wrong number ... was so embarrassed 😱

Some of these are hilarious !!! I really needed the laugh today.

@alexdgr8 yours had me wheezing 😂 as if someone’s first thought would be you were just giving them a cushion to take
Home hahaha

A few years ago I was at a restaurant with my husband, dad and stepmum, who happens to be 12 years older than my dad. It was a bistro sort of place so the table for four was two little circular tables pushed next to each other. My dad and husband were sat opposite each other, had ordered the same meal and were sharing a bottle of wine and I made a joke about how it looked like they were a couple out for a meal and something or other about husband being Dad’s toyboy. Stepmum then shot me a look and started saying something about how my dad wasn’t her toyboy and was clearly quite offended, however, the conversation had moved on quickly (everyone apart from me was drinking). In my defence I was pregnant, suffering terribly with HG and had a tap water with half a bowl of pasta that night so it all sort of happened in slow motion and I was just focusing on not spewing on the other patrons.
‘Luckily’ we only see them a couple of times a year but every time I have to control my urge to reassure her that I wasn’t calling my dad her toyboy. I doubt she even remembers and it would be more awkward to bring it up now but it makes me all hot and sweaty to think about.

Years ago, at uni. Out of term, bit bored, not many people around, so I agreed to meet up at a pub with a girl I knew slightly, Liz. She was meeting some others I didn't know there.

Cycled to the pub and arrived a couple of mins late. Went in and saw Liz sitting at a table with two men. Perfect, I thought, she's already found her other friends so won't mind that I'm late. They all had drinks so I stopped by the bar to get myself one. As I was paying, Liz got up and excused herself, wandered over to say hi to someone else she knew.

No probs, I went over to the table with Liz's friends and introduced myself as Johnny. We got chatting and had a whale of a time. One of them was really funny.

It was a very long time before I realised Liz hadn't returned. I pointed this out. "Who's Liz?" one asked bemusedly.

Turns out, they had nothing to do with Liz but she had stopped by to cadge a smoke from one of them before meeting her actual friends on the other side of the pub. I had basically just plonked myself down at their table for an hour.

Luckily they thought it was hilarious!

When I was a teenager my school attendance was only 30%. A new teacher had joined the school and I hadn't been in for any of her classes so far.

She starts calling out the register, says my name and comments about me not actually existing. Only for me to say Yes Miss. The poor woman was mortified.

Also, when I was 22 and teaching English abroad in a francophone country. I was in the midst of my very first lesson and a young man wandered into the class late. He began excusing himself in French.

Very conscious of my position as teacher, I held up my hand and told him firmly "This is English class. We only speak English here! And you're late."

Immediately, in flawless English he replied, "So sorry, Miss McGrath. I am Monsieur XX"... the name of the Dean of the private university we were in! He had come to welcome me and introduce me during my first lesson.

The class were pissing themselves.

I've de-lurked to post here, these have given me such a laugh that it's only fair that I share some of my cringe moments!

1. DH and I got married young, and got our first kitten soon after. We took him to the vet for his injections, and it was all very new to us so we were a bit in awe of the vet. He (vet) was very nice though, and after giving the kitten his injection, passed him to me while saying "there you are, your mum will give you a cuddle now". I'd genuinely never heard of anyone calling themselves DPet parents, and I blurted out "no, we're not his real parents, he's a kitten". The vet had a WTF face on, and I think he thought I was being sarcastic, but I really wasn't!

2. there was a student on a work experience thing in my office, she was working on a project for the HR manager and we'd all been told to give her any info that she needed. For some reason, she really latched on to me, and was at my desk about 7 or 8 times in one day, asking questions. Fair enough, I know that was her remit, but I was getting annoyed as I was really busy too. After (I thought) she'd left the room, I started really grumbling to my colleague, saying what a PITA this person was, how I wished she'd just F off back to Uni, etc etc, and then.... the student appeared from round the corner of the room where I hadn't seen her, and said in this quiet wee voice "that'll be me you're talking about then" and then just walked sadly out of the room. I still feel awful about that, it's not like me at all really.

3. I have, in recent years, developed a rather splendid pot belly. I'm only little so I don't carry weight well, and when I do put weight on it only goes to my stomach. I went in to the hairdresser to make an appointment and the VERY loud receptionist - who I knew slightly - said "are you pregnant, aye?". I said "no, I'm just fat, but thanks for asking!". Rather than leave it there, she then decided to involve another customer who was waiting, and said "What do you think Mrs Robinson, is it just me or do you think she's got a baby bump too?". Mrs Robinson tried to stay non-committal! I was so embarrassed, and had a small cry when I got back to my car. (didn't make me lose weight though )

Sorry, that was an epic first post! I hope to join in to some of the other boards later.