Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

Once when my df live next to a bit of a hoarder - think garden full of bikes /prams /scrap.. Df referred to him as Mr Clampet (behind his back!)..
One day Mr Clampet came a - calling for df.. I announced his arrival in a gleeful 'Mr Clampet is here'!!
He wasn't really Mr Clampet..

Sitting in an over seas office, a female colleague and I were sitting at opposite desks working. A male colleague walked over with a computer cable and said “can I give this back to you ladies I’m leaving”.

I responded with sorry, no we are also just leaving, could you put it on one of the secretaries desks. And pointed to the desks.

He responded with “ oh you’re not the secretaries?” ... to clarify we were both more senior than him.

Honestly. My colleague was furious, beyond furious, and she responded to him and said “ even if you thought it, why would you say it “ she then went off on one, about why he’d assumed we were the administrative staff simoly because we were females. That it wasn’t the 1950s.

The guy was mortified, and was like a rabbit trapped in the headlights. Whilst I sat there with my shoulders shaking, due to the laughter. Honestly it was really comical, she was so angry and he was so embarrassed. As she kept snapping at me “ shut up blunt, stop laughing, it’s just not funny” .

Which of course she was right. But god it was so awkward and him mortified and her furious just creased me up. 🤣

Eating out with DH and every time I went toilet I'd see a guy in a far away table that I've never seen in my life smiling, waving and nodding at me in the way where I knew he thought I was someone he know. Couldn't say much from far away so just smiled back.

On the way out he was also going, what timing, and on his way past me touched my arm and I really thought he was going to realise when I turned around but he said "Hey you alright? I'll see you around" and carried on walking ahead so I didn't even reply.

Who is my doppelgänger?

Oh god another one, and this might be outing.

We had a manager called Thelma. She loved horses. And she was quite seriously over weight. Everyone called her thelwell. Which I thought was an affectionate nick name. You know, from Thelma?

One day she approached and I said loudly “ hi thelwell. How are you today” to an absolute look of disgust on her face, and stunned silence from everyone else.

She said what she had to someone and then simoly turned her heel and walked away throwing me a filthy look as she did.

When she left, the group were saying, why did you call her that to her face she looked really upset.

I had no idea thelwell was after Norman thelwell the cartoonist who drew the little fat girls on horses....sadly she did.😳

I’ve embarrassed myself countless times over the years. Probably the most awkward time was when I was at an incredibly smart gathering following a christening, and I asked an elegant woman (by way of striking up a conversation) “how long have you got to go?” She was wearing a draped waterfall wrap affair thing and I genuinely thought she was pregnant. She tuned to me and asked (not smiling) “til when?” I mumbled something and walked away. SO awkward.

Also at a party I was approached by the partner of the host who was holding a full glass of champagne. In that split second I thought he was bringing it to me (why??) and tried to take it out of his hand, but it was his own drink, he held on and some got spilt. He then said “there are plenty of glasses on the table over there” and I said “of course, yes, thanks” - God knows what I’d been thinking ..

The ponies were fat in Thelwell cartoons, but as far as I know, the children (girls and boys) were average size!

I so agree that very often the mortified person has done nothing wrong and it’s the reaction that’s terribly rude!

I’m particularly loving the accidental hugs and kisses. I hate when someone leans in to give you a friendly peck and you falter and end up kissing them on or near the lips. Urgh!

“Time for bed” reminds me of a very innocent friend of mine. We were at a teen disco type thing and this slightly older lad she had the hots for said “shall we go to my car?” clearly envisioning some teenage fondling. So she did, got in on the passenger side and buckled up her seatbelt. When he got in on the drivers side he just turned and looked at her all buckled up and said “I wasn’t planning on us going anywhere.” She was so embarrassed, and we were all absolutely crying when she told us.

I sat down on a plane and had a short conversation with the lady next to me who told me she had been worried about her case being too heavy. About an hour into the flight I said. Did you get charged extra for being overweight. I did mean her case 😳😳

Oh I just remembered the best one where the other person may thing back on this .

I was in Sainsbury's and happened to be wearing a purple jumper (similar to their colours) i was waiting for my click and collect (which the staff member went off to find) so I didn't have any items in my hand. It's oddly placed kinda in the middle of the store so I was stood abit awkwardly by a podium with the computer on.

A lady came up to me and asked me a question about where a product was, so I said sorry I don't know. She said don't you think you should find out?

I really hadn't realised that I looked like staff and said 'well it's not me who needs it?!!!'

She went and made a complaint about me to customer service!!!!! The click and collect lady came back and was pulled by CS about me at the podium and it was all explained. I was just stood like a right lemon

Oh the "pops" one has just brought back a hideous memory from when I was at school.

I went to a friend's house, with a few others, and while we were hanging out in the kitchen and older lady came in and did some stuff, then went out again. Friend spoke to her and said "Oh thanks Nanny" or something like that.

The conversation carried on after she'd left and I said "oh where did your grandmother go to?" My friend looked utterly confused, and said "who? She's not here!" And I said "but she was just in the kitchen, you called her Nanny..."

Turns out it was her actual nanny, from when she and her brothers were small, and they parents had kept her on as a housekeeper.

Properly showed up my plebeian credentials there!

At a christening with my dad and my dd (I was young)
The vicar is chatting to people before the ceremony starts and says to me and MY dad “you both must be very proud of this one, lovely little baby you have!” (my dd)
My dad looked confused and the vicar clearly thought we were a couple 😆 he pointed and me and said “this is my baby, that’s my new grand daughter”
Oh I wished the ground would swallow me up and by the vicars face I think she did too! 😂

@MaggieAndHopey - no, the little girls were often on the portly side as well

Most of my misunderstandings come about because of my childlike height I think! When I was 19 I'd been at work until 10pm and then had gone on to the pub with my colleagues, after the pub had shut I decided to walk down through the city centre to a 24hr garage to buy some chocolate. As I came out of the doors a police car came flying into the forecourt and 2 police officers got out and accosted me asking where my parents were. I was a bit confused and said "How should I know? In bed probably". It turned out they'd had several reports from worried members of the public who had seen a small child wandering around the city centre alone in the middle of the night!

When I had my first child my Health Visitor kept giving me leaflets advertising a local group for Younger Mums, I didn't really think much of it the first few times as I was given quite a lot of leaflets. Then one day she asked me why I wasn't going to the Young Mums group she had been recommending, she was mortified when I explained I wasn't a teenager I was actually 30!

One of the most embarrassing but hilarious episodes happened not to me, but to my Mum when she was young. She was travelling in Italy, and was on a very crowded Italian bus. She and a young nun were standing very close to one another and started to talk. My Mum had only the most rudimentary Italian. The nun eventually asked her if she was Catholic. My Mum said no. The nun said, 'What a pity; I would love to meet you one day in Heaven'. My mother, not wishing to insult the nun's faith, tried to explain that her family background was not Catholic (she was from a secular Jewish family) and started by stating, 'Papa non e Cattolico'. Unfortunately she pronounced 'Papa' with the accent on the wrong syllable, so what she actually said was 'The Pope is not a Catholic'! On a very crowded bus in a Catholic country in the 1950s! You could have heard a pin drop. Fortunately, she then went on to say, 'Mia madre non e Cattolica' and people then realized what she must have meant, and there was a collective sigh of relief.

Oh God yes. In my early twenties, around 18 years ago. Had met a guy a week or so before and we swapped numbers. I called him to ask him on a date. Except I called someone else in my phone with the same name. After I'd suggested the date, i realised my mistake. The guy I called had moved and therefore was no longer living in the same city as me, so couldn't go on the date, so didn't have to follow through with the date with the wrong guy!

In the op it really sounds like it was her who made a bit of a twat of themselves.

I had to take ds 20 to hospital daily for a week. Still bf new ds I had to take him along. The Dr asked me if he - pointing to older ds - was pulling his weight with the sleepless nights! Assumed he was the df!! Ds was mortified - especially since he had been giving a nurse the eye for days! He must have looked a right twat!!
Ha ha!!

tried a new hairdressing salon, at the end of my treatment, I had a new, swishy beautiful cut, the hairdresser removed my cape, and gave me a soft brush- somewhat bemused I started to brush my perfectly finished hair- she said- er, and gave a look - took the brush back and flicked it round my neck and shoulders to remove any stray cuttings '- cue total embarrassment and a silent resolve to never return

When I was 12 or 13 my dad took me to an appointment at the building society to set up some kind of junior account.
We were called up to an office by a friendly woman (prob mid 20s) sat down and she opened with 'so you're here to talk about getting a joint mortgage'. My dad was late 40s at the time. It dawned on us both that she thought we were a couple . Give her credit she was lovely and non-judgemental, despite probably thinking my dad was a perv. I was quite a young looking teen too.
Dad quickly explained that 'no we"re not. Frances wants to set up a junior account. I'm her dad'. The staff member was very apologetic but it was mortifying - prob especially for my dad.

DS had a new teacher in Y2 who wasn't very good. We thought she was an NQT as she seemed inexperienced. At the parents evening, she told us she was leaving to become a nanny. I asked her if she'd decided teaching wasn't for her after all and it turned out she'd been teaching for years. It was so obvious what I had meant and there was just an awkward pause where my brain panicked and I couldn't think of any way to soften it or cover it up.

I’m a football fan. My team currently plays in the Championship. DP has a colleague who is a very nice chap, and is also a football fan. He supports our hated local rivals, who play in the same division.

Unfortunately, the first time we met, he got his wires crossed. He knew I was a fan, but he assumed I supported his team. I didn’t bother correcting him, because I didn’t want to make him feel daft and I probably wouldn’t meet him again.

Wrong...

Turns out he and DP get on well so I bump into this chap several times a year at the work Christmas party, Summer BBQ etc etc and he always wants to talk football. This means that I have to go through the tedious task of readIng up on his team’s players, results, Injuries, transfer speculation, manager’s job security etc etc all because didn’t correct him in the first place.

I was 25 and working as a masters educated chemist - an engineer comes in to fix something and asks me what I want to do when I grow up. He thought I was work experience. His face was a picture when I went errr this is my job 🤣

I went out to eat in with my sister, we ordered starters and I thought I'd try something new. I didn't like it at all so hardly ate any of it, the waitress came over and said "was there something wrong with your starter?" I replied, there was nothing wrong I just didn't like it. She said "oh no I'm sorry, I'll see if I can get it taken off for you."

For some bizarre reason I thought she meant take it off the menu (it was a small family run place) and I said oh no don't go to all that trouble, other people might like it. She looked at me very oddly but I still didn't twig. When she walked off my sister said, why are you being weird, she's just going to take it off the bill. Then the penny dropped and I was so embarrassed 😂😂

Not me, but a friend.

He was meeting his girlfriend's extended family for the first time, aunts, uncles, cousins etc. They went out for lunch at a pub and everyone was getting on well, drinks were flowing.

For some reason friend thought people were referring to the aunt as Fuck Face. He thought it was rather odd, but must be a silly in-joke nickname. So he turns to talk to her and, being a friendly chap who wants to fit in with the family, calls her Fuck Face out loud across the table.

Turns out it wasn't her nickname and he had misheard. Luckily they all saw the funny side, but he was mortified.

Our first trip to Spain in the 1970s - me, mum, dad, nana. We didn't know the etiquette of flying so dad wore his best wool suit, shirt & tie.

We landed at Reus airport. At the time Franco was in power at it was a military airport. Soldiers with huge guns.

Dad was sweating to bits, nervous as hell and carrying both suitcases. Nana & I went through customs gate first, mum & dad followed.

A soldier steps out, stops my dad. He gestures at the suitcases and barks 'Dos?'

'No' dad replies. He nods and me and nana. 'No. Dem'.

Not sure who was more confused but dad was let through.