Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

[Bluetrews25]

Four candles wins it for me.

[justilou1]

I used to work with a choral conductor who was notorious for forgetting names but remembering absurd details instead... for some reason, he kept introducing me to others as “Lucy” which is nothing at all like my real name. When a program was printed with my real name instead, someone questioned this, as everyone in the choir genuinely believed that my name was Lucy at this stage. We all discovered that the reason he’d been callang me this was because he’d noticed my eyes changed colour, so I was “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.” (of course I was....) Delightfully batty man, but confusing nonetheless.

[Saracen]

Not me, but too funny to miss out:

When my friend's son turned 16, he was excited but reflected on how many things one used to be allowed to do at 16 which were now restricted to over-18s, so it didn't feel like such a milestone as he would have liked. He decided to research what he was now allowed to do which had previously been off-limits. He discovered that he could now legally buy bonds, of all things. He was actually rather pleased about this and thought he might buy a few.

On the phone to his uncle, he mentioned that he might buy some bonds now it was legal for him to do so, that he had been reading up on the subject and found out how to do it. Uncle asked, "Are you SURE that's a good idea?" "Oh yes, it's really interesting, I think I will buy some. I won't spend too much on them."

Several weeks later the uncle rang the mum to ask whether she was aware that her son was talking about buying bombs online. "Oh yes," she said, "I think it's a great idea. You know we always encourage him to follow his interests. He could learn a lot from it." "Really?" said the uncle, and went very quiet. She of course had expected and heard the word "bonds" as that is what her son had discussed with her. Neither of them was any the wiser.

It was some time before they established that the lad wanted to dabble in investing rather than explosives.

I just want to know why the uncle thought it was okay to wait a few weeks before mentioning to the parents that his nephew was planning to buy explosives!

[toria658]

Was asked very loudly and in a dictatorial manner to go and change my hair band as it was not part of school uniform ( I happened to be wearing a black skirt and white shirt sorest of my attire from a quick glance looked uniformity) and what was I doing and where was the teacher....

I was the teacher, it was my second day, the class didn’t recover their composure for the rest of the lesson.

[RIBlue]

Moved in to a new house and the immediate neighbour asked and misheard my name. I didn’t realise she’d misheard until the first Christmas card arrived... it seemed far too late by this point so I just answered to the other name (by this time to all the neighbours because she’d busily introduce me to everyone). I came to move out a couple of years later and neighbour was speaking to some new tenants, she said ‘and this is so and so but she’s moving out today’. I said ‘Nice to meet you, my name is actually RIBlue’.
To this day I’m absolutely mortified that I chose that moment to correct her; it didn’t matter, I was never going to see her again and she’d been very kind in a slightly nosy neighbour way! I wasn’t annoyed that she’d got my name wrong or anything, my mouth just seemingly picked that moment to correct her without consulting my brain.

[Ohffs66]

Not me but DH...a few years ago we were flat hunting and he went to a viewing alone as I was stuck in work. He pulled up in the car, it was dark and it wasn't in the nicest of areas. After a few minutes, a woman who'd been leaning against the wall came over to the car and knocked the window, he assumed she was a 'lady of the night' because of the area and how she was dressed (fishnets, mini skirt, stilettos). He shook his head at her and she walked off. 5 minutes later she came back again so he wound down the window and told her he wasn't interested. She was the estate agent! He was mortified as he said it was obvious what he'd thought. Most awkward flat viewing ever.

[Dk20]

@RapunzelsBuzzcut that happened with my ds (6) last year. He loves my parents dog so much. When we were away he found a mug with a picture of that dog breed on it and bought it.
When we were home, my parents visited and ds proudly showed them the mug.
"O thank you so much, I love it..." my DM started.
Me and DP had starting cringing when DS very bluntly said "it's not for you" and took it back off her.

[ThighThighofthigh]

I was on an OLD date with a man who had told me he had taken in a lodger. I said a little later 'do you mind sharing with other men?' and his jaw dropped. I looked at him blankly then said 'you have a lodger, you share'.

That was his fault for having a dirty mind.

[ThighThighofthigh]

Another man, who I had been friends with for a long time, we were at the start of a relationship and had been chatting on my sofa.

I stood up and said 'well, it's time for bed' he walked past me and started trudging up the stairs while I stood at the front door.

He realised I wasn't following and twigged. He said 'thank goodness, I'm so tired!'

[KatherineJaneway]

Working with someone I was training. I said something along the lines of 'Don't worry, it's a lot to take in but you'll soon have it off pat'. She replied 'Who is Pat'.

[Dk20]

Theres one for me that makes me cringe badly every time I think of it.

When I was in college I was working part time in a supermarket. One of the managers there was put off the road for drink driving - prior to this her car was her absolute pride and joy.

We were out on a Saturday night in a club - the music was loud and we had to do that awkward shout so that we could hear each other speak.

Spotted the manager over in a corner, on her own, crying.
I went over to her and she started to say "I want to drive, I want to drive".
"You will be soon" I said, knowing that her suspension was up in a couple of months.
She repeated the same thing over and over, to which I continued with the same response.
Eventually I realised she was actually saying "I want to die"
I calmed her down and got her home safely.

The next day I saw her at work, she told me he had been drinking whilst on antibiotics and it made her a bit OTT that night.

Its 15 years later now and I still cringe at me saying "you will be soon"

[flamegame]

I lived in the US for a time - I took my young dog out for a walk and bumped into a neighbour and his daughter as they were on the way to school. The man asked 'is he getting his ya-yas out'. I had no idea what this meant and my dog was booked in for the snip that week so I said oh yes, this week and something about that - the look on his face - to this day I have no idea why I thought he'd be asking me about my dog's genitalia being removed.

It turns out getting your ya-yas out means exercising.

[butterpuffed]

After waiting in the queue for ages at the Post Office I finally got to the counter. The man serving said to me in a friendly tone 'Hi how's it going then' . I looked around to see if he was talking to somebody else but no it was definitely me. I thought he must think he knew me and didn't want to embarrass him so I said 'I'm absolutely fine thanks and how are you' .
'No' he said 'your parcel, is it going 1st or 2nd Class'.

[SallyLovesCheese]

I was a trainee teacher on my first placement. I'd arrived in the morning and was walking to my classroom when one of the teachers came down the corridor towards me. As he got near me he said "Good morning" and waved. I said "Hi" and waved back. Then he awkwardly pointed behind me and said "I was talking to Anneka" - one of the KS2 pupils a way down the corridor behind me.

[Otterseatpuffinsdontthey]

Very basic one whilst working as a nurse. Chatting, whilst busy, to a patient/visitor (can't remember which). Anyway, referred to female with him as his daughter - was actually his wife. Still cringe (only slightly now)

[MsTSwift]

My lovely friend was volunteering with the elderly. There was a crossed wire and the organiser thought she was a single parent. She has 3 kids and a dh. She didn’t have the heart to correct them so then had to pretend her dh of 15 years was a new boyfriend 😀 much to his bewilderment

[changeagainandagain]

Mine was with a GP I was having some cramps and period issues, and I was 25, so I hope this gets me out a tiny bit.

Anyway he's asked "how are your motions"

I answered " well I'm pretty fit and active and able to move and stretch lots? With a puzzled look on my face..

He said "I meant your bowel movements"

Arhhhhhhhh

[VaselineOnToast]

These are great

About a year ago, I noticed a lot of people coming and going from my neighbour's house (let's say they're the Smiths) over the course of a few days, all looking very down.

Then one day while walking home, I overhead some other neighbours saying "Oh did you hear about June Smith...". I put two & two together and realised that she must have passed away. She was elderly and frail, had a home carer, and I hadn't seen her in ages, so it made sense.

I went round to express my condolences and the husband kindly invited me in for a chat. I nearly had a heart attack when June appeared suddenly in the hallway from another room .

Turns out someone HAD passed away - their adult son. I was mortified and ended up surreptitiously removing the sympathy card I'd written (about how awful it was to have lost June) from the gift bag I had, and tucking it into the back of my trousers, under my jacket while sitting on their couch. June asked if the couch cushions were getting in my way and I said no, my trousers just keep falling down .

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned from my experience!!

[Godzillasonice]

One that I still think about even though I can’t have been very old maybe 6 was being a bridesmaid at someone’s wedding and an adult I didn’t know giving me a horseshoe on a piece of ribbon and not explaining I was to give it to the bride. I thought it was a present for me and couldn’t understand why the bride came along and took it off me for a photo and didn’t give it back. I was so upset.

Another time I was working on a hotel reception back when hands free kits became a thing. This man walked up and said “hi how are you?” So I replied and then he asked “are you up to much today?” And while I was answering all his questions he suddenly says “sorry I’ll call you back you the receptionist keeps talking to me!”

At the same place I also had a man come in who I had taken a booking for a few day’s before. He said Godzilla had taken his booking so I said that it was me. He then said “no she sounded good looking”. Realising what he said he quickly took his room key and scurried off.

[ContessaferJones]

I have found that it is almost always way less embarrassing if you just explain that you're confused and that you've thought XX when you suspect they mean something else. At least that way you're still a bit weird, but understandably weird!!

If it turns out that they did indeed mean the odd thing then that's a different conversation

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

I was a young bridesmaid, sat at the Top table, next to the groom's father, I asked him if he was the groom's grandfather! He didnt look impressed and didnt talk to me for the rest of the day!

[RedRec]

@justonecottonpickingminute Geoffrey Baldeagle

[CrowdedHouseinQuarantine]

A senior consultant came in the office when i was temping and proceeded to talk to his secretary who wasn't there.
She is not here, I piped up, only to eventually notice he was actually dictating into his machine!

[Mumofaboyandmanbaby]

Worked at a homeless food bank for a year, they dared to me to come in in my pjamas one week, of course I obliged.

I was sat there talking to some of the regulars in my PJ's and a lovely family came over and started asking me about my life and gave me a cake. It took me at least 1 minute to realise they thought I was homeless.

They left after doing their good deed and no one at the table mentioned anything, we just cut up and ate the cake!

[macaronip1e]

I was once browsing in a Body Shop when a lady asked me if I knew where the make up was. It was close by so I showed them, and then they asked me about the different products. I thought it odd but gave a good go of answering questions on what colours would suit her. After a minute or two she said “thank you but I won’t buy anything today”. It was only then I realised that with a black top on she’d taken me for a member of staff...