Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

I moved into a new flat and was waiting for the electrician to come out and check the electric shower which wasn’t working. While waiting I signed for a parcel for a neighbour who I’d never met.

Shortly afterwards there was a knock at the door. I answered and said “Are you the electrician?” The man said Yes! So I invited him in and started telling him all about my shower and how it had cut out while I was getting washed. I explained I’d turned it on and off again, and checked the fuse box etc. I said it’s just in here if you want to see it?

The man listened politely for ten minutes but looked increasingly uncomfortable. Then he said “Can I have my parcel now?”

Yep, he was my neighbour. Who was AN electrician (hence why I he said yes when I asked) but he wasn’t THE electrician I was waiting for. I was utterly mortified as I gave him his parcel and he scarpered before I could make more small talk about my appliances.

I was just turned 18 and took on a job in the fleet department, a very senior member of staff rang to tell me had put petrol in his diesel car and should he phone the BMW garage local to him. So I said yes, if you have a BMW that would be a good idea.

He assumed I was being smart (I wasn't, I just didn't think how it would sound) and went off on a rant about how he had made a mistake and that didn't mean he was an idiot. He even complained to my boss about me being sarcastic. Luckily my boss knew that totally wasn't me so it didn't go any further.

I've been reading the thread about saying someone has 'passed' rather than died, and it reminded me of another embarrassment for me last week. My elderly neighbour said "did I tell you that I lost my wee cat the other day?". I assumed she'd meant 'died' so I said "oh no, that's awful, what happened?". She said that she'd just got up in the morning and he was 'gone' . I was saying how sad it was, wondering if he'd had a heart attack or something, and then, with perfect comedy timing, her cat then came strolling out of her house, and I realised then that she just meant that he'd been missing for a few hours!

I have prosopagnosia (sp?) as part of my autism, and this means that I desperately struggle to recognise faces.

I was living in a town in Wales where most people know most everyone else anyway. But I made the mistake of thinking I saw a friend of my then-boyfriends, and I called over and said hi. I was in a few exchanges back and forwards with the lady before realising I didn't think she knew who I was. Her work jacket was the same as for the person I mistook her for. I apologised and said she looked just like someone else she works with.

Bad enough, but I proceeded to do this to her a few more times before I decided to just give up and message the person I kept thinking she was, to apologise in advance if I walked past her in the street without saying hi.

I have a lot of very awkward embarrassing stories, which I'm sure you can imagine.

One where the other person felt awkward!

I was in Mothercare with the newborn, sleeping, premie DTs. I had parked them in their brand new Mountain Buggy which wouldn't fit down the aisles whilst I went to look at something. When I turned around there was a pregnant lady and her mum poking around the buggy.

"Look!" The mum was saying, "they've even put little dolls in it!"

Pg woman caught sight of me hurrying over and clearly clicked. "Er, mum...."

"They never get these things right though, real newborn babies are much bigger than that, you'll see..."

I don't know which of them was mortified as I arrived to wheel the buggy away and DT1 moved in his sleep!

I can understand why people use language like passed. It sounds so blunt to say ''if you DIE''. In my work I sometimes have to refer to death, death certificates etc and I had said something like ''in the event of your death your wife would need to submit the marriage certificate''' blah blah and I felt so awful. When the call was over, a colleague said ''next time, say ..'in the event of your demise'' so, next time I was on a call and I said it, and he looked at me and smirked and I burst out laughing just after saying ''in the event of your demise''.
I had to explain to the poor man why it was funny. He said ''oh. yeh. I get it. That's funny. Yes........''

Awkward!

Not mine but happened to one of my friends when we were at school and it still makes me laugh!

My friends dad used to drop her off in the car at the bus stop every morning before he went to work. One of our teachers also got on the bus at the same stop.

One morning he pulls over to drop her off, and the teacher gets in his car before my friend can get out as she thought he'd stopped to give her a lift.
My friends dad has no idea who this woman is as she doesn't teach any of my friends lessons. Teacher is waffling on about how kind it is of him to stop, all time he's looking her at like she's insane (too stunned to say anything) and my poor friend is sat there mortified.

Not sure how they resolved it, but I know they both arrived at school by bus - so they must have made her aware of her mistake somehow!

I was 16, and a librarian was helping me find a particular book in my enormous, local library. After we’d both been looking unsuccessfully in the same (obviously alphabetised) section, I suggested that maybe the author had used a pseudonym.
Only I pronounced it ‘Soo-Da-Nim’. I immediately knew it must’ve been wrong as she looked at me like I’d grown two heads. Her being sneery only made it so much worse
I never went back

@Riddikulusness That is how you pronounce pseudonym!

I was 16, and a librarian was helping me find a particular book in my enormous, local library. After we’d both been looking unsuccessfully in the same (obviously alphabetised) section, I suggested that maybe the author had used a pseudonym.
Only I pronounced it ‘Soo-Da-Nim’. I immediately knew it must’ve been wrong as she looked at me like I’d grown two heads. Her being sneery only made it so much worse
I never went back

FFS!! I was talking to DH and typing at the same time. That’s not what I meant obviously. Total brain fart there.
I meant that at the time I pronounced it phonetically. I said ‘Puh -Soh -Din -Im’.
And I thought that story couldn’t get any more mortifying... 🙈

In a cafe, I approached a waiter - about 19, black trousers, crisp white shirt.

"Excuse me, the toilet is out of toilet paper," I told him.

"But I don't work here," he said, looking taken aback.

Instead of apologising I blurted out "But you're dressed like a waiter!"

Poor lad.

This is such a small social faux pas and yet I remain mortified about it years later:

I used to have a job where I spent half a day working on a different site with a different team. I had to start earlier than usual and often didn't manage breakfast so after finishing the work and before heading back to my own site I'd usually treat myself to a late morning latte in Costa. This was a little treat for me as we didn't have a cafe on my usual site.

One day a charming young Australian man joined the team. At the end of the session he asked me if I'd like a coffee and I automatically said 'yes please I'd love a latte'. He offered to buy one for everyone else too and went off to fetch them which seemed awfully generous.

It was whilst he was gone that I belatedly realised he hadn't intended to offer to go and buy a posh, expensive coffee from Costa at all. He had just meant to nip in the break room and rustle up a cup of instant for everyone for free but then by asking for a latte I'd kind of forced him to buy a round of expensive coffees.

I tried to at least offer him money when he got back but he wouldn't have it. Somehow it didn't even taste so nice knowing I'd kind of forced him to get it. I couldn't even exactly apologise because we were both sort of pretending we hadn't misinterpreted one another at all.

It's really silly isn't it but I do find it mortifying.

It was my youngest dc's first day at school and I was stood in the playground with all the other parents and kids all smart in their uniforms.

One of the dads asked me "where did you get the jumper from?" I gave my pink hoodie a sort of proud little tug and said "Superdry"

He meant where did I get DCs school logo jumper from as his was just wearing a generic plain one

Man 30 years older than me with some sort of white cream near his lips, I tried to discreetly point it out by pointing at my own face as he was leaving … apparently he thought that meant kiss me.

My mum also managed talk a twin (that she didn't know) into having a brew in town, girl was too polite to much refuse an apparent nutcase - took about 10 minutes to realise this this girl wasn't "Sally" but her sister. They did laugh once they bypassed the confusion.

When I was 16 I had an 'out of school' music teacher. I had to call his home for something or another.

Small squeaky voice answers 'Hellooo?"

I say in a slightly sing song voice reserved for speaking with pre-schoolers: "It's Mincing, is your daddy there?"

Response: "I'm David's wife. I'll get him for you".

Thirty years on, I still cringe at that one!

@WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee - depending on how long ago this happened, I would imagine that the young Australian wouldn't have been suggesting instant coffee from the break room at all - most Aussies I know (and I live here) despise instant coffee and live in coffee shops!
Even DH, who I've been with for 17 years, never used to be a "coffee snob" but has become one since being back here (he IS Australian) in the last 11 years.

I went for a hot oil massage and the masseuse let me into the room, there was a robe and disposable hair net on the bed and she told me to get changed. When she came back she looked shocked when she saw me and asked me why i put the disposable undies on my head 🙁

Years ago, at secretarial college, we all went out for drinks one evening. One of the other girls was talking about her parents, who were divorced, who both happened to be psychiatrists. I said, "Oh, you must have been a very well-adjusted child then" (a reference to her parents both being psychiatrists), but her response was to sadly say, "yes, the divorce hit me very hard." She looked like she was about to cry which - as the most confident person of the group - was quite surprising.

I should have explained myself, but I didn't.

I once went into the pharmacy and the assistant told me at the till that it was her last day as she was retiring. I for some reason said 'oh no! That's so sad'. Then said 'oh but not for you, you'll be retired. For us I mean. Congrats on retirement'. While she stood there We looked at each other awkwardly, I grabbed my stuff and ran.

I was once swimming with my Dd who was about 9 months old at the time. We were in the shower afterwards and a lady (complete stranger) said "I wasn't sure in the pool but now I can see you definitely are pregnant, another baby how lovely!" I definitely wasn't pregnant but was so embarrassed I just smiled and nodded hoping we could just leave but she carried on asking questions and I kept smiling. The final straw was when she asked what my due date was and I just couldn't do the calculations in my head so just cried "I'm not really pregnant!" and ran away. It was 16 years ago. Still horrifying.

God remembered my worst. First pregnancy had utis so had a kidney scan. Was told to put on gown where they were etc. When I then went for first baby scan with dh I stripped off put on gown and waited for scan. Didn’t occur to me that none of the other women had done this. When we went in the radiologist said “why are you wearing a gown?” and I brazened it out and said I preferred to. While scan couldn’t concentrate as so mortified. Dh very kind and didn’t take the mick

Not long after having my first DS, I was changing at my local pool in communal dressing room. I got talking to an older woman I vaguely recognised, telling her about my pre eclampsia in great deal, exactly what it was, how it came about, all the signs and symptoms etc. She listened very politely.

I had assumed she was from church etc but next time I went to the surgery, I realised it was my GP. Hadn't recognised her without her clothes on.

At my first smear test aged 20, I was so nervous. It was at a women’s clinic where they still used those awful stirrups for your legs. Anyway I went behind the curtain removed my skirt and hopped into position. When the Dr pulle the curtain back she looked surprised and said “Ms Green, you will need to remove your underwear!”