Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

[MrsRagnarLothbrok]

I used to be a hospital based midwife, on one of my days off about 15 years ago, I was in town with my mum, we stopped for a coffee, while we were queuing I saw someone I recognised but couldn't remember her name. So said hello to her, starting talking about work, how glad I was to not be in that day, how busy it was at the moment etc she looked a bit confused but smiled and nodded. I said bye see you soon. It was a few hours later it clicked who she was, she was one of the main characters in Casualty at the time not someone from work god knows what she thought of me

[AGreatUsername]

You know when you get out of the shower and you tuck the end of your towel into itself just above the boobs? Well, I did that at the swimming pool, and then proceeded to start taking things out of the locker (a lot of things as it was me and 3 Dc). A man came up to his own locker, just as my towel started to loosen. For some absolutely mental reason I did what I’d do at home, simply opened up the towel to retie it. While smiling a polite hello to this poor man.

I essentially gave him a full frontal flash while staring directly into his eyes. You could actually see the terror. I ran away and made my oldest son return to the locker while I hid in a cubicle 😂

[ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew]

Mine is my DH's relative who came to our wedding. We went to another wedding a few years later and I thought he was a friend of a friend's plus 1. Nope.

I said 'Hi I'm Matthew' and stuck out my hand. To which he said 'Yes. I know. I was at your wedding' F A C KKKKKK!

[Hoppinggreen]

I was at a work do to meet the new big boss over from America
I ended up at the buffet at the same time as big boss and (presumably trying to make conversation) he held a sandwich towards me and asked
“What do you think is in here?”
For some reason I took a bite out of it and as I saw the horror on his face as he looked from me to the sandwich in his hand that now had a bite out of it it suddenly dawned on me what I had done but with a mouthful of sarnie I couldn’t speak so I had to quickly chew and swallow it as we both looked at eachother for what felt like an hour before managing to mumble
“Cheese, it’s cheese and pickle “

[swallowmeupplease]

In a club, aged 21, and walked past a guy I'd had a very brief and inappropriate "thing" with.

He had a on a t-shirt which said "Madame, please may I give you a pearl necklace?"

I said "I'd love a pearl necklace"

It wasn't until a few years later I actually learned what one was.

[IchWill]

My ex-H was at work one time years ago, when one of his colleagues (who was known for being a bit ditzy) called the office to say she was out visiting a client and was completely lost on a country lane, so needed some help.

He put her on loud speaker and colleagues crowded round to collectively try and help. Asking her for landmarks etc, but she said it was just fields for miles.

So they asked her to drive along for a bit and find a road sign and they'd try and locate her using Google Maps.

She drove for a bit, then said there was some unmanned roadworks up ahead and that there was what looked like a temporary road sign, which she couldn't read just yet.

A minute later, she came back on the phone whooping with glee, saying, "I've found a road sign! Please can some look it up for me now?" My ex-H said sure, poised at the keyboard.

The colleague then declares she's in a place called Loose Chippings...

Let's just say, she NEVER lived that one down.

[Oneearringlost]

Not so much a misunderstanding..
I was a new staff nurse and fell utterly in love with one of the registrars.
There was an album on the ward of staff nights out, and I removed all the photos of him, and stuck them up on my hospital accommodation room wall.
One night, we were in the doctors and nurses' mess; he was with the group I was in and I invited them all over ( about 4) to my place to try my homemade wine.
I have never got over the look on his face when he gazed around the room
Reader, he asked me out the next day, but reader, I didn't marry him.

[Henio]

I went into a cake supplies shop to buy stuff to make a baby boy cake, so light blue everything basically.
This was around the time the frozen movie was really popular but I hadn't seen it (didn't have children at the time either).
Took everything to the till to pay and the shop owner asked if I was doing a frozen cake, I was really confused and thought it was a strange question, replied... "oh no, I'm baking a fresh cake" he started laughing. Still makes me cringe

[toffeeghirl]

@Henio that reminds me. I hadn't heard of the film Frozen either as my dc were a bit older.
My sister was telling me how she'd ordered stocking fillers for her dd . "I've ordered Frozen stuff on eBay but it might not arrive in time. It's coming from China."
"OMG, won't it melt?" was my ridiculous response which was overhead in a crowded pub.

[Henio]

@toffeeghirl haha that's too funny! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who didn't get the frozen reference

[OntheWaves40]

I was out with a group of friends and a bloke asked me what my friend was called, blondie over there, singing (she was always singing to herself), I misunderstood and replied Debbie Harry.
He then went over to her and next thing I know she’s saying why are you calling me Debbie, my names Sarah and he replied because she told me that’s your name, pointing at me. They both looked at me as if I was weird.

[OntheWaves40]

@Hoppinggreen that proper made me laugh

[Mama05]

I once went into a local shop on Christmas Day

I’d had my dinner and was wearing a now very snug fitting dress with my big bulging Christmas turkey belly sticking out. Started general chatting to the assistant and there was another assistant stacking the shelves.

I think I said something like oh I’m so tired after my dinner but now I have chronic heartburn!

Assistant stacking the shelves said oh are you expecting?

I said... no


She went bright red and I made a quick exit 😂

[MinnieJackson]

I answered the landline to an unknown number.
'ahh, Mrs reynolds glad to have caught you. So following on from your consultation on Tuesday I have your blood test results...' He went on and on and kept referencing our previous meeting and discussions about treatment. It went on so long I didn't get a chance to say that he was actually ringing to speak to my mum and not me! So I muttered things as vaguely as possible and had to try and recap what the consultant had said to my mum.

[SummerTimeSunshine]

I was in Next with my OH Jamie. We had never been in this particular branch before and couldn't locate the childrens' clothing department.

Exasperated I grumble , "Jamie where is the children's department" and an employee walking past me states "Down those stairs to your left". Just before he rushed past I caught sight of his work badge stating his name "Jamie".

OH thought it was hilarious - I was mortified. I'd never grumble at a staff member in a shop like that - or use their name like I knew them!

[draughtycatflap]

@smittenkittennn

Just last week I was on a phone call and I started to think through something technical (think legal) aloud. I apologised by saying "Sorry you're just listening to the sausage being made." He said "No worries I can't hear anything."

As in he thought a sausage grinder or something was being run in my home. When what I meant was you're listening to my thought process. I then explained the turn of phrase. Thought it was fairly common but guess not!

Oh lordy! I don’t think he assumed you were squeezing out sausages in your kitchen. But somewhere else entirely! 😂

[JazzaGal]

I texted someone by mistake and was relentless. I thought the 'who is this' was messing around so would respond things like 'who dis? 🤣'. After a while they joined in and we conversed for two years. Took their suggestions to heart, brought random drinks parties and bought presents as per their recommendations Only to be met with this face . Only twigged when they changed their profile picture and it was a man. I would have blocked after the second message. Still laughing years later.

[DCIRozHuntley]

I was about 8 months pregnant - massive. At a wedding, meeting a friend-of-a-friend's new DP for the first time, he asked what DH says was "When are you due?" I genuinely didn't hear him so I said "Pardon?"

"Oh, doesn't matter" he said, walking off and going bright red. I was literally massive, he must have thought I had a very strange posture.

[excelledyourself]

I was browsing round a clothes shop with a friend. We were picking things up and if the other other saw it, we were giving opinions. My friend picked up this one dress and held it in front of her to look at, and I said emphatically "Ugh, NOPE!" She turned to look at me and of course she wasn't my friend, just another customer 🙈

[ColdCottage]

Called into my old secondary school on my gap year or maybe first year of uni, to say hello to an old teacher or drop something off for my younger sister, I don't recall.

The office was up some stairs so I didn't go up and waited at the bottom of the stairs for a teacher to come along to see if the person I needed to see was in the office....a teacher did come along, but before I could explain told me off for not being in class and I better hurry up if I didn't want to get in more trouble. He did blush when I explained I wasn't a pupil.

[ColdCottage]

I was at an event where I'd been chatting to the host for weeks but never met.

When I arrived she came over in this beautiful body con dress showing off her baby bump and looked radiant.

I opened with how lovely to finally meet in person, you look beautiful and congratulations I didn't know you were expecting, when are you due - you'd guessed it, she wasn't pregnant. I wanted to run but had to make more small talk and she was so sweet. I still feel so guilty. She must have felt so lovely glammed up for the big event and I thought she was pregnant. She looked great either way but I still cringe at the memory.

[Boomerwang]

I know this thread is old but I just have to share this one.

I was at Tesco's with my mum, who is world class at saying suspicious things. She means one thing but words it badly so it sounds like something else.

We were behind a woman at the checkout. She turned to us and said 'look at that girl over there, what does she think she looks like?'. Obviously we were taken by surprise. My mother said 'she makes you look good doesn't she?'

My eyes widen and then I tried to hide a smile which was fast becoming a snort but then the giggles started. My mum started to catch on and she struggled not to grin too. The lady looked at us, confused. My mother apologised. The lady said 'what for?'

So we COULD have gotten away with it if we hadn't apologised. I tried to explain the apology, but in doing so I was helping this woman realise my mother had said something rude to her, but then also trying to say it wasn't intentional, thereby confusing this woman even further. In the end I had to run off down an aisle pretending I'd forgotten something to have a good laugh whilst I left my mother red faced at the checkout with a stony faced woman in front of her.

[oldbagface]

Great thread

[Staffy1]

I was at a takeaway many years ago, where they gave you a piece of paper with a number and read it out when the order was ready. When my number was called, the guy put his hand out and without thinking I shook it, a split second before realising he wanted the piece of paper back before handing over the food.

[firecracker69]

My mum kindly offered to pay for someone to put up a fence in my daughter's back garden. She called her friend "Gary" who said he'd give her a quote.

The next day, Gary and his friend came, to give her a quote. As they were looking around the garden, my mother started engaging in her usual polite chit chat......

"Is this your son Gary?" She loudly asked, gesticulating towards his "friend."
"No, it's my wife!" Gary answered, in shock.

This is when my mother should've apologised and made some excuse about not having her glasses on. Instead, she continued.....

"Oh well, the saving grace is I've knocked a few years off you!"

Oh how we laughed when she told us the tale......