Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

[AquarianSquirrel]

@9while9 my god!! Thought you had the wrong thread til I got to then end. You must have been so relieved!

[Annaram1]

A long time ago a neighbour I disliked and who kept chickens came around to complain that my dog barked too much. I said "You are complaining about my dog. I've never complained about your cock waking me up at 2 a.m." Didn't realise what I'd said for a minute. The neighbour went away and never complained again.

[Louisesp82]

I was working behind a bar (I live in the midlands) and a northern lady ordered what I thought was 'cork'..I was confused, and asked her to repeat herself, which she did. I then said 'cork like a bottle cork?' eventually the penny dropped that she wanted a coke..

[Jeeperscreepers69]

11pm been out. 23yrs old. Tiny weenie skirt on. Hot older neighbour walks past and stops to chat me up. I sat on the wall and fell backwards like humpty dumpty. I couldnt get up i was writhing around like a hedgehog on its back. Showing my knickers to the world. Hot neighbour must of found another route home after that im assuming 🔥🔥🤣🤣

[lmfaoo]

When I was about 12 I went and bought some cookies at a millies cookies stall once. I paid with a £20 note and then turned away forgetting my change and the cookies! I realised almost instantly but I was so embarrassed I just carried on walking and never went back.

Still haunts me to this day. 🙈

[BaronDeFalaise]

I have loads.

A girl I sat next to at my last charity in the office came in wearing a nice dark blue suit.

(She had opinions as did I, and we got on rather well though everyone thought we didn't.)

"May I say," said one of our elderly female volunteers nervously, "You look as though you're dressed for St Trinians?"

H glared daggers at her then retorted, "Good, that's exactly the look I was aiming at."

She never wore the suit again and I don't think she ever spoke to that volunteer again.

(She'd merely say to me in front of her, "Could you ask K if she would do so-and-so..." Luckily K was rather deaf.)

I once tried to give a homeless chap a sausage roll and a bottle of mineral water on a hot day, before I learned the city homeless were given daily free food etc by local charities.

"Oh, I'm sick of people giving me sausage rolls" he grumbled, "And that water is fizzy. I want still. Don't you have any still?"

"Sorry, I'll see if the lobster bisque is still on," I said offhand then stalked off in a mood munching the sausage roll later.

At a job interview for the civil service (Environment) I was asked what difference the Channel Tunnel, then finally being built, would make to Britain. I was still nervous.

"I have absolutely no idea," I said. "It will make no difference to me personally, I assure you."

Recently a girl, blonde as it happened in an interesting outfit, approached me on a bench in the city and started complimenting me on some little trinket I was wearing. Then said, "So, have you considered changing your energy supplier?"

"Oh, no, that's all my landlord's business," I said. "Sorry. I thought you were trying to chat me up?"

She turned red, mumbled something, then rushed off.

Also at work people used to ask me: "How are you?" "My life is a tragedy waiting to happen," I would say, "And now I have you to put up with to boot."

They seemed to think I was being serious. They were right.

[Scarby9]

When Fawlty Towers was at its peak, my parents had a dinner party for some of my dad's work colleagues to welcome a new, young, colleague, who was German. Lots of jokes before everyone arrived of 'Don't mention the war'.
The evening went well, lots of laughter until the German colleague made some comment about relative ages and my mother said, loudly into a silence 'Some of us remember the war, you know!' Always her reference point for age. Thankfully, after the initial shock, everyone found it hilarious, and the new colleague and family became firm friends with our family.

[VerticalHorizon]

I was once in the middle of a passionate moment on iron framed bed, and the woman in question was getting ever closer to hitting the head of the bed - which was basically a set of vertical bars.

The lady said 'Omg, I don't want to end up getting my head stuck between the bars' - to which I replied 'oh I'm sure you wouldn't mind if a Fireman had to come and sort you out'...

She went UTTERLY MENTAL....


It was about 2 or 3 days of awful atmosphere before I finally broached the subject... 'ok, so what happened?'

She said 'I have NEVER fancied SIMON (a mutual friend) and certainly wouldn't want him to sort me out!'

You couldn't make it up.

[firsttimemum30]

On holiday with my ex driving through the south of Spain. Got to a tiny village in some mountains and saw a shop that sold food. We bought some local cheese, olives etc having a great time. Shop keeper asks if I want to try (some sort of jam or something in a jar, can't remember). I say yes, he holds out a small spoon with some on, instead of taking it from him like a normal person I instinctively leaned forward and put my mouth around it so it was like he was feeding me. Cue awkward laughter and puzzled looks.

[ThirtyAndASmidgen]

A couple from my first job... Moaning about some professional photos we’d all had done, I told my boss that the photographer had “taken me from underneath”. She couldn’t stop laughing. I also asked our CFO “what we should do about this French letter..”

[poppy54321]

Lovely older local man mentioned me being pregnant. I had to tell him I wasn’t. I was there with my mother and family and friends who didn’t know that I actually was a few weeks pregnant with DD2. So I couldn’t say. Poor man he was so embarrassed. I felt bad and told family not that long after.

[managedmis]

I start to really panic and tell my manager “I’m not meant to be here, I’m dressed as a rabbit”


^

Omfg

[nutkin7]

This one isn't too much of an awful misunderstanding, there's definitely been worse ones but they'll be buried too deep.

About 2 years ago I was in Sainsbury's with my DP, we were just doing a little snack shop before we watched a film. It was just after Easter and all the Easter eggs were reduced. Wonderful news. I picked up an egg and sort of danced it on the spot whilst looking at my partner and wiggling my eyebrows. A man stood to the left of DP looked at me and said "nah, I'm alright thanks" - he thought I was trying to sell him an Easter egg! I very obviously didn't work there so he just thought I was some mad woman trying to pawn off Sainsbury's left over Easter egg collection.

[Bl3ss3dm0m]

I love this thread except for one thing, as I started reading the posts I found myself feeling progressively hot and flustered, with a niggle in my stomach. I think I must have said something sometime in my last 62 years that was really embarrassing, but I just can't think what it was. Maybe it was so bad my memory is repressing it, or maybe I am just have too much empathy?

[Bl3ss3dm0m]

I don't know where the last "am" came from!

[airedailleurs]

This happened a very long time ago when I was about 7. A friend who lived down the road had the idea of buying loads of sweets to have a midnight feast, but had not told her mum. Her mum then found out and blamed me (I wasn't even into the idea that much, just went along with it). The mum was so upset that I was corrupting her daughter that she sent her to a private school to get her away from me! I have never forgotten the feeling of injustice, so hurtful!

[ddl1]

I just remembered one: Years ago, my Mum was visiting me in the accommodation I had at the time, and got the idea of changing the position and orientation of one of the cupboards to give me more shelf-space (it was a good idea, and it did). This involved a certain amount of moving various objects around, and screwing and unscrewing some shelves. My Mum was always much 'handier' than me, and she dealt with the shelves, while I fetched and carried various objects. In the end, I thanked her, and she pointed out that I'd done most of the fetching and carrying. My not very carefully thought-out reply was: 'Yes, but you had to do all the screwing!'!!! Fortunately, she found that very funny!

[adagio]

Quoted from earlier:
Real manners and class are about making other people feel more comfortable
@formerbabe

This.

[GiantKitten]

Poor Anus

I bet he did really well in life

[GiantKitten]

@poppy54321

Lovely older local man mentioned me being pregnant. I had to tell him I wasn’t. I was there with my mother and family and friends who didn’t know that I actually was a few weeks pregnant with DD2. So I couldn’t say. Poor man he was so embarrassed. I felt bad and told family not that long after.

So did he actually know you were pregnant, poppy? If so, how?

[Hamsterriffic]

School mum expecting 3rd DC...
me “you must forget about it running round after the other two” meaning being pregnant,
Her “ well we’d always wanted 3 and I’m 40 soon... blah blah”
She thought I’d meant forgotten birth control!

[beeflin]

My first week at a new primary school, mid-term after moving house, so the other pupils knew the routine - it was a Spelling lesson which combined two classes, so it had to use the dining room because the classrooms were too small. As we were escorted to the dining room I, not understanding what was going on, piped up "But I don't stay for lunch". I'll never forget the, albeit slight, ripple of laughter and how stupid I felt and how much I wished I hadn't said anything.

[GiantKitten]

beeflin I had one like that. I was staying at my aunt’s house and went to Sunday school with my cousin. The teacher set some work to be done for the following week & said we had to tell him if there was a reason why we wouldn’t be bringing it in, so I put my hand up & said “I don’t live here, I’m staying with my cousin, I won’t be here next week”.
Similar reaction.

[smittenkittennn]

Just last week I was on a phone call and I started to think through something technical (think legal) aloud. I apologised by saying "Sorry you're just listening to the sausage being made." He said "No worries I can't hear anything."

As in he thought a sausage grinder or something was being run in my home. When what I meant was you're listening to my thought process. I then explained the turn of phrase. Thought it was fairly common but guess not!