Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

Aged about 13, having got off the bus from school, I used to often stop off at the newsagents with my schoolfriend, who was quite a large girl. We were perusing the comics and I saw an Incredible Hulk one. Being gauche and tactless, I tweaked her sleeve and said "Look, there's you" then turned to see a totally strange woman standing there glaring at me. Got out quickly.

I was working as a head of marketing of a particular department when the secretary group invited me to drinks to meet the new Head of marketing for the whole firm who ultimately was going to be my new boss. I was quite young and it was quite noisy and when he sat down next to me he basically assumed I was a secretary and when I said I wasn’t - he then assumed I was someone else’s secretary. I had to explain I was actually a head of department and he was my new boss. I remember the horror in his face that he had know idea who I was and we never did get on that well.

I have one that still makes me cringe 20 years on!

I was a student nurse (17y old) just moved to the big smoke from a tiny town.

I was looking after a patient who's family asked the direction to Mecca so they could pray. I misheard and thought they'd said "to play" I dutifully directed them to the Mecca bingo hall a couple of streets down from the hospital. Cue horrified looks from the Ward Sister who soon set me right....

I was so embarrassed- they must have thought I was so ignorant! It still plays on my mind years later...

Not me but another mum at school.
I had two exceptionally big babies, DC 2 and 3, in quick succession and my stomach muscles have never recovered. One day, when collecting DC1 and 2 from school (year 1 and nursery) with pre-schooler DC3 in tow, I must have been wearing something particularly clingy or standing sloppily, or both. One of the other mums, smiling broadly, exclaimed, "Oh! I didn't know you were expecting again!" I think I was, at the time, a bit taken aback and replied, rather crisply, "I'm not, actually!" Other mum coloured visibly and, covered in confusion, asked, "Are you sure?" Then, realising what she'd said and before I could offer her a spade, she turned a deeper shade of crimson and fled! At which point I forgot my indignation and laughed out loud!
Poor woman! 😂

I had a Saturday job whilst I was doing my a levels. One of the older ladies thought my name was trish. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was wrong. It merged into Trisha and later became Patricia! This went on for months, until one day another colleague overheard her calling me Patricia and said ‘what are you calling her that for? That’s not her name’. She was embarrassed, but I was more embarrassed that I’d let her call me the wrong name for so long!

My cringe moment was at a party (a naice middle aged fancy gin type of party) and my friend's DD's boyfriend offered me a little plastic bag of sugary stuff. For some mad reason I assumed it was MDMA. I was quite drunk, but I don't do MDMA, my friends whose party it was don't do MDMA, fuck knows why that popped into my head and I said 'no thanks I have work tomorrow' (which I didn't)
The poor lad went red and said no it's candy! It was some popping candy type stuff. I laughed it off but cringed my face off and secretly hoped he broke up with my friend's DD so I never have to see him again. Sadly they got engaged

I was on a date with a chap in a noisy restaurant, all was going well until he said something to me that I didn’t hear . I asked him what he said as I didn’t catch it, he said it it again but I still didn’t hear , so asked him again, he repeats himself but I still didn’t get what he said so just sat there nodding vaguely and grinning at him . He looked a bit bemused and said ‘well?’ . I couldn’t say to him that I hadn’t heard him again so just continued to grin at him.
I never did find out what he said, we are now good friends but the moment has never been mentioned.

This makes me want to die every time i remember it.

DD's nursery was just round the corner from pur house and occasionally if the weather was nice they would go to the park just up the road from our house. One day I was driving up the road near the park and saw dd walking past. I beeped and waved and they brought her over to me and went to "hand her over". Except that day she was with her dad so I just said to her key worker "oh no, her dad is picking her up today" and told DD goodbye. I honestly have no idea why I beeped and waved with no intention of taking her anywhere, or why i didn't just take dd with me wherever I was going. The key worker looked at me like I was utterly insane, for good reason

Not that funny but I do remember talking to someone on MSN and realising the person thought I was someone else with the same first name.

Many years ago after a work colleague/friend made a pass at me I declined politely and he left my flat abruptly with embarrassment. I rang him the following morning and launched into a 'look we've been friends a long time and I wouldn't want a quick shag to ruin our friendship'. I then stopped for breath only to hear 'hi, well this is his Dad but I'll pass the message on'

*@Joodleoodle please put me out of my misery with the Eeyore joke .

A guy I knew through work told me about an excruciatingly embarrassing experience he had had, when he was out on the town one night years ago. He spotted a group of young men who he recognised and thought he must have known from university, ran right up to them, introduced himself so as to renew acquaintance and realised at that point they were the Arctic Monkeys 😀

@yve62

A long time ago I was in my first day in a new job. It was a civil service position, and I was taken along by my new colleague to a meeting in the press office. Alastair Campbell walked in, and clocking someone he didn’t recognise, he said hello to me and asked “And what do you do?”

Like some kind of village idiot I grinned maniacally and replied “I don’t know!”

I had meant to follow it with “because it’s my first day”, but somehow those words just didn’t happen. He looked at me, blinked, and with a “Right!” moved swiftly on.

I contemplated handing my notice in on the spot.

Me and DH with son at first parents evening (reception). Waiting to see the teacher, son points out his little mate Waqeem with his parents. We edge over and make small talk with Waqeems parents whilst the boys play. Ahh aren’t they cute, (son) thinks Waqeem is great, never stops talking about Waqeem etc etc nice to meet you, must have a play date type thing.

Finally get in to see the teacher and at some point in the convo Waqeem is mentioned. She looks bemused, then says ‘its Raqeem‘ (Son couldn’t say his Rs)

We must have sounded like a right pair of eejits. I felt more awkward that they hadn’t corrected us

Back in the 80s, I went to visit my cousin who was living in San Diego, California. I was pale and felt chubby and self-conscious in my brand-new one-piece swimsuit.
One of her male friends looked directly at me and said “elephant soup”, the minute I walked outside. I turned around, walked back in and put my clothes back on. I was mortified.
When I went back out, they asked me why I changed. “Because John said I looked like elephant soup - that’s why!”
“I said elegant suit.”

Mine was very recent. I live in Dubai, where everyone speaks English but it’s not necessary their native language. We were at a tourist attraction and I heard an Italian family talking. The woman then said to me, “Do you speak English?” but I was expecting her to say, “Do you speak Italian?” so I said “just a little bit”. She then asked me for directions, so I answered in broken English, as if it wasn’t my first language. I’VE NO IDEA WHY I DID THAT.

DH was standing beside me with a WTAF face on. I’m cringing thinking of it.

Oh god , just remembered another one.

It was the early 1980’s , I was 16 and had just started a job in a big London bank . I can’t remember the occasion but I was invited to a lunch with my team in the board room with a couple of the directors. We had pate and toast for starters which I had never had before. The pate was put in front of me on a plate and the waiter then came round with a basket of toast , I was the first one to be offered the toast and not wanting to appear greedy said ‘no thank you ‘ . I then watched everyone else take a piece and start spreading the pate onto it, while I ate my lone pate with a knife and fork.

I have so, so many embarrassing moments that I still lie awake thinking about.

One was after I had DS I had a severe tear and had to have loads of stitches. They needed to put a camera up my bum to make sure it had repaired a few weeks or maybe a couple of months after. I can't quite remember what exactly happened down there and try not to think it.

Anyway, the night before my appointment my friend came over for tea and we had a few drinks and I told her about my appointment. I told her and DH that I was quite nervous about the camera part. She said that whenever she does something that makes her nervous she just laughs. We all started laughing at this and it seemed to just be one of those things that tickle you for a while.

Anyway, my appointment. The nurse asks if it's ok if a student comes in and I was fine. She also said that there is someone to check the machine or something and asked if they could come in but they would be behind the curtain and not see me at all. I said that was fine.

She puts the camera where it was supposed to go and I remembered my friends advice and started laughing. I mean belly laughing. Howling. I think I snorted too. Tears streaming down my face. DH was outside and could hear me in the room laughing. The nurse, student and machine man didn't say a thing.

I tried to explain I have a nervous laugh (which I do) and they were just like hmmm ok then.

They had to complete some sort of wellness questionnaire too which I got a copy of and the nurse wrote that I was in incredibly good spirits on it

I'd just completed a one day course which an ex neighbour, from years before, also attended. We made small talk 'how are the kids?' stuff but nothing more.
Afterwards, I'd gone to meet friends in a beer garden and had had a few drinks. I spotted my ex neighbour waving enthusiastically from across the busy road and I started waving back with the same vigour. She gestured that she was coming over. I was smiling and encouraging her to join us. As she approached, I was filling in my friends as to who she was and moving up for her to sit next to me.
However, she had been waving to her friends that were seated at the next table and was now sitting down with them. She gave me a casual "alright" with a look that said, "wtf was all that about?" My friends pissed themselves laughing.

I was at a party in my 30s with good friends and everyone had been talking about a fabulous girl called Amy who was great fun
She came over to say hi to everyone and in my excitement I said hi! I’m Amy! No I’m not! I’m Siân!!

#2 - I was working abroad and trying to get the conference phone to work with another colleague. She has a filthy mouth. She was shouting at it saying you MF (hope this isn’t edited out sorry MN) and we realised she’d recorded that as our intro when you say your name.

This happened to me when on work experience in a hairdressers. I don’t have the best hearing especially if there is other noise like the radio playing.

The salon owner kept asking me to check reception. I kept going out but nobody was there. I think she asked me 3 or 4 times before she got up from the clients hair station and got s section clip. She hadn’t been asking me to check reception but to get a section clip!

I was so embarrassed.

One of my uncles used to work as a security person at an art gallery. I was there with friends having a look around the gallery and didn't see him anywhere so decided to ask one of the other security people if my uncle was in. So, I asked if my Uncle Peewee was there and after a while, we got to what his real name was. I'd called him Peewee since I was a little dot and my brain didn't stop to think that although a lot of us in the family called him that it obviously wasn't his name and probably not something he'd want his colleagues to know about.

Another name one, but it's not really embarrassing. A little girl who lived on my estate and now lives a couple of streets away thought my name was Matilda because I reminded her of the character in the book started calling me Matilda and still does even though she's now at secondary school and it's so sweet that I doubt I'll ever correct her.

I used to work in a cafe and I'd just taken a customer's order and I was squinting to read the till and make sure it was correct. Customer returns and says 'Do you have any glasses?'. I thought this was odd but replied 'Yes, but they're at home, I have contact lenses in today.'
And he said 'I mean for the drinks you just served me...'

Also, similar theme. I was about to serve a youngish gentleman a bottle of Coke, this was when they had the writing and names on the labels, and the bottle I got out said 'handsome' on it. I was young and didn't want to look like I was flirting, so I fucking looked at him, looked back at the word handsome and proceeded to change to a bottle with a different name on it whilst he watched me.