Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

I was at a funeral once and knew the ladies daughters but only met her husband a handful of times. The family lined up at the grave to shake everyone’s hands so everyone that had went could express their condolences so i started working my way along the daughters saying ‘Awh so sorry’ and ‘sorry for your loss’ and things like ‘awk I was so fond of your mummy, lovely lady’ then I got to her poor husband who had just lost his lovely wife and I got all overwhelmed and blurted out all upbeat ‘hello you!!!’ and moved on to the next daughter ... I still crunch up my shoulders when I think about it!!!!

I about 8 years ago I worked in a nursery. At the end of the day I went to collect my bag and coat from the lockers and overheard a conversation my colleagues were having.

A colleague, who I didn't really get on with said...
'urghhh I hate that psychopath'
And her friend replied 'yeah so do I'

At which point my noseyness gets the better of me and before I can stop myself I butt into their conversation asking 'what psychopath ??'

Then she gives me a look of disgust, tuts and says

'I said Cycle Path (she was a northerner) '

At which point I laughed awkwardly and then hung my head in shame as I backed out of the room.

Memo to self. Think before you speak

@Shell4429 crying ... so many good stories on here but yours is brilliant

'Can you do up my zip?' / 'Can you pick up my stick?'

@EarringsandLipstick Thanks. I actually blush just thinking about it!

@CarrieMoonbeams the missing cat story is so good! I'm loving the thought of you being so sympathetic, oh that's AWFUL, you poor thing etc, and then puss wandering around the corner

I was meeting a friend and I saw her standing looking in the other direction so thought it would be funny to sneak up and scare her. So I did, I jumped out and grabbed her from behind shouting "boo" except it wasn't my friend, just someone who looked like her and she screamed and looked at me like I was a predator. I just mumbled sorry i thought you were Samantha (my friend). Poor girl looked like she was going to faint.

Butterpuffed

Omg I'm well laughing 😂 😂

'At which point my noseyness gets the better of me and before I can stop myself I butt into their conversation asking 'what psychopath shock??'

Then she gives me a look of disgust, tuts and says

'I said Cycle Path (she was a northerner) '

On one occasion, Colleague A said to Colleague B: 'Is there a psychopath (as B heard it) going from (place where A lived) to (the workplace)?'

Colleague B: 'Uh - why do you ask?'

Colleague A: 'Because it's really important that there should be a psychopath going from (place of abode) to (the workplace')!

Turned out, of course, that he meant a cycle path!

P.S. Colleague A WAS pretty much of a psychopath!

I don’t think you need to be embarrassed, CodenameVillanelle. It’s incredibly weird to bring pooping candy to a party, especially if it’s decanted into a plain plastic bag and not in the original packaging. And even weirder to start handing it round to people.

@SunshineCake

@Joodleoodle please put me out of my misery with the Eeyore joke smile

Yes! Me too! I keep muttering it to myself and not figuring it out!

I always remember this-

Bumped into an old friend who use to live in my street when we were growing up.

She had 2 young boys with her, we were chatting away saying yeah I got married etc now have 2 kids,
I looked at her boys saying hello how old are you?
What's your names, they got all shy and hid there faces in mummy's coat, when my friend said they're called kevin and Keith.
With that I started laughing and said omg just imagine if you did call them that, it would be like that weird couple what lived next door to me,
As soon as I said it I knew I had made a mistake, she said they are called Kevin and Keith names from way back in her hubby's family.

I will never forget it

This happened to my dad not me. When I was younger and still living at home we were friendly with the farmer living near by. He was a right character.anyway he had an elderly mother. My dad heard that she had passed away so he went up to the farmers house to pay his respects and offer his condolances. The farmer turned around and said thank you but I don't know who you are talking about cos my mum's alive and kicking I've just been to see her! Turns out it was another lady with the same name. My dad was mortified but the fella found it hilarious.

It’s incredibly weird to bring pooping candy to a party

😂😂😂

😳🤭🤣

Many years ago I took my poorly 5 year old son to the Dr's, the Dr was examining son's tummy and said what's your name ? I said Debbie. Dr was of course talking to my son . 😣

God I have loads but I'm not revealing any of my own!

I'm sure this one was on Mumsnet before but I can't find it by googling so perhaps it was an urban myth. I'll treat you all anyway.
The OP was starting a new job and sat down at the desk of an HR bod to set up her details etc.
HR asked for her full name. OP replied (e.g.) "Katherine Louise Smith"
HR: "And what's your street name?"
OP: "Hmm.... I'd probably say... K-Dog"

HR looks stunned.
"No... what's your street name? The name of the street where you live?"

On holiday abroad in a small Italian town. My husband’s cousin tells us that an old colleague of theirs is holidaying in the same place. One night we go to a restaurant and as soon as we walk in my husband spots a family, ‘recognises’ the husband. We say hello and my husband tells them we knew they were there, what a coincidence etc. I also say hello and speak to the wife. At the end of the meal the husband comes over to say goodbye and there follows a long conversation about the cousin, the company they worked etc before it becomes apparent this is not the man he thought it was.
Turns out that as they are both from the same culture he thought we were just being friendly as we had spotted another ‘mixed family’.
We actually bumped into the correct family at the airport on the way home.

Met my brothers girlfriend (now wife) for the very first time. I asked her what she did for a living & she replied really quietly ‘banking’. I said oh that sounds interesting etc. She then corrected me and said no ‘burger king’. I then panicked as I’d gone on about the banking system and tried to backtrack and blurted out... ‘do they really flame grill the burgers?’ Ahh the agony!!

@AgentProvocateur, I had a similar language wtf are you doing thing. I was at a French chateau on a tour. A chap asked me, in French, if I was German. Odd, but not the first time in my life that I'd been asked. Anyway, I had a total brain fart and replied, "Nein, ich bin Englisch", with a proper German accent. He looked at me very oddly and in my head I was all wtf is wrong with you. I don't even really speak German aside from a few phrases which made it even more ridiculous

At work and asking a lady if she wants an over 60s loyalty card.....she walked away n tutted she was not even 50 yet and was shopping with her mom who already had one

I was in labour with constant, nonstop contractions but the midwife didn't think I was as far on as I was and kept telling me she'd put me on the list to have my waters broken in the morning (this was around 11pm-12am-ish). I was lying in my bed in a lot of pain and the midwife was arsing around with the monitors on my belly. I sort of moaned "I need a hug" and then she bent over me and put her arms round me, so obviously I reciprocated and put my arms round her, for the hug I just said that I needed and thought she was giving me...

She'd only bent over me and reached round to adjust the bastard monitor strap behind my back Awks. My husband turned up shortly after this and about 20 minutes later my waters broke and I needed to push.

So much for her "I've put you on the list for the morning."

When I returned to work after my first mat leave I decided to get a cab to my mums in the morning to drop the baby off as she looked after him, and then I took a bus to work. It was December and my cousin had given me a thick white snowsuit that had been her daughters. I bundled my son into it and got in the cab with him and the cab driver asked how old 'she' was, I don't know why but I didn't bother to correct him and just said 6 months, then he said that he also had a baby daughter and said that mine was a lovely girl etc and asked 'her' name - by now I was in too deep so I said 'Amily' - the name we'd chosen pre birth if he'd been a girl. I got out of the cab and that was that.
The next day it was the same cab driver sent to pick me up, and the next, and the next. Every day he asked how she was and he eventually said that he and his wife often went to X park at the weekends and why didn't I come along with my daughter. Every day I'd be mindful of what he was wearing so as not to expose him as a boy, it just got ridiculous and as spring approached I couldn't hide him in a snowsuit so not only did I have to change cab companies but I had to avoid X park for years and years in case I saw him with my boy!

Many many incidents
A standout one was during the curtain call of the last night of a show I was performing in. I was 18 and very excited to be playing music in a real professional production, they wanted us all to look young and there was about 15 of us, all older than me, plus the one fairly well known actor doing the actual play. Anyway. My new friend from the production went to put her arm around my waist as a cute end of run gesture. I thought she was going for my hand, thought it was odd but rolled with it. We stood on stage holding hands for the whole applause and as soon as we came off she let go and burst out laughing 😂

Having a coil fitted after having my first baby. I was nervous about the procedure and wondering how stitches had healed etc.

I had my baby with me and she was happy in her pram behind the curtain.

The dr and another HCP were with me and I think sensing I was nervous she made polite conversation.

She said "you'd never know there was a baby in here" and I said something like "ah wow thanks that's actually a huge relief"

We all realised the misunderstanding instantly. I just lay there in silence for the rest of it.

A friend invuted me to a very posh dinner fkr some group he was in. We arrived just in time. At the top of a very grand staircase the guest of honour was waiting to greet everyone. He was some sort of senior diplomat "your excellency" type of person festooned with sashes, medals royal awards etc. For some reason the person calling the names of the new arrivals had stepped away for a few minutes. Friend walked up to the guest of honour and asked where we should leave our coats!! He looked a little startled and his wife and I just looked at each other thinking wtf (well I was, and she looked like she might have been!!) but mr big wig just said "shall we do the formalities first?"