Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

Many years ago I worked in a large office in the middle of a city and was responsible for training and managing new recruits. At the start of each year there were about 20-30 new trainees to get to know.

There was a department store nearby where the shop assistants all had to wear smart black suits and those in women's wear were almost all young. One lunch time I was in this shop looking for a new outfit. A young woman dressed in black smiled at me- so I assumed she was a shop assistant and asked her if she could help me find my size in a few items. She looked a bit flustered- but I assumed perhaps she was new and unsure where things were. When I got back to work I passed her sitting at a desk- she was in fact smiling at me as she was one of our trainees also doing a bit of shopping. I'm not sure whether she realised I had mistaken who she was, or just thought I was just being the type of boss who expects trainees to do her personal shopping etc.

Every time I remember this I’m so annoyed at myself for being so shy and awkward.

Years ago, when in my twenties, DH had won a writing award. We were invited to a ceremony for the award presentations. This included meeting and chatting to some well known writers at the time and drinks etc in a very lovely building somewhere in London.
After the award ceremony everyone was mingling and chatting, however, when I was younger I suffered with excruciating shyness and anxiety being in surroundings that I wasn’t used to. DH was chatting in a group on the other side of the room and I was admiring the architecture and decor of said room when I was approached by a chap who said “hello there, who are you then?”
Instead of politely saying, “oh I’m KnitterKG, wife of ‘dh’ I mumbly blurted out “Oh me? Oh I’m no one” to which he replied “Oh, well, I won’t talk to you then” and he walked off. I cringe about it still.
Luckily in my 50’s I don’t recognise that person in me anymore, no idea why I said that.
Now DH and I joke that it was George R. R. Martin (I don’t think it was) and where he got his GOT ‘I’m no one’ from. 😁

Years ago when my aunt lived quite far away she used to send her friend's dh to pick up my dc - I went in my car with some dc.. Car pulls up and dd gets in.... Wasn't George just some man waiting for his dw!! Dd was mortified!!

Ooh! I've got another! In an interview just out of college for Media Sales (selling adverts on the radio) - the thought of sales terrified me, I just wanted the salary tbh. The lady interviewing was very maternal and I was at my ease when she asked if I had any questions - whereupon I started to ask so if I couldn't sell anything would that be bad? Like, if I turned out to be just not very good, and no one wanted to buy from me, would that be a problem? Cos sellings quite hard isn't it and I didn't know if I would be able to do it?"

No comprehension that this wasn't the way to bag a job. The interview ended really abruptly and I even thought well, I must have done a good job if they've got all they know. I cringe about it now.

I look back and think well I talked myself out of that job didn't I! Good job I didn't really want it! So dense!

In a job a few years ago, I got chatting to a new person who told me her name. I asked her to repeat it but I still couldn't work out what she was saying, so I just decided to say her name exactly as she said it. Was mortified when I realised her name later. Turns out she was from another part of the country and had a strong accent. Her name was quite straight forward, however the way I was saying it back to her in her accent must have sounded awful!

My DCs headmaster calls me out of the blue to talk about the PTA. Due to poor phone reception I didn't catch his last name, even after he repeated it a few times, so I decided I'd just have to assume that of the four different Andrews it could be, it was probably Andrew A so I carried on the conversation on that assumption.

My relationship with Andrew A is very friendly and jokey, so we got off to a mock-flirtatious start... I asked him if he was coming to see us, enquired about his wife (a good friend of mine too), his kitchen (it was being renovated), and their cats (now getting on in years). Andrew sounded somewhat bemused and didn't answer any of the questions in a satisfactory manner, just laughed. It is my contention at this point that he, a single person with no interest in interior design and not fond of animals, should have realised I had the wrong Andrew.

But no! Just as the horrible realisation dawned that I was speaking to my children's headmaster, he asked me out to dinner! Terribly confused, because surely he knew I was married, I said yes, Jeff and I would love to come. "Who's Jeff?" he asked... my husband, I said, and at that point he pretty much hung up on me.

Very awkward because I had quite a bit to do with him for the next two years.

I die inside every time I think of my last visit to the optician. He called me in and stood at the door to his room and held out his hand. Still in work mode I shook his hand. He looked a bit shocked and I realised he was just holding his hand out for me to hand him the paperwork. I felt so stupid and had a whole eye test to get through

When I was at primary school we had to write out in our best handwriting a poem that the teacher gave us and draw around it to make it look lovely for the display wall.

So I drew an ocean scene cos' the poem about fish in the sea.

Weeks later took the work home. My mother was enthralled at my efforts she asked did you do this.
Yes, I said. She took it to show my grandparents at the weekend and I got a Breakaway biscuit.

I was preening at my amazing artistic talents.

Except my mum thought I'd created the fucking poem. And unknown to me she sent it to the popular local newspaper who printed the poem (no art work) with my name at the bottom. I looked like I was a poet plagariser.

Whilst my family thought I was the next Byron, my teachers and school friends thought I was a cheating lying poem pincher.

I still cringe lots. . And I can still recall the 1st couple of lines. Arghhhhhh

I was working with someone whose name I can’t reveal but let’s say she was called something like Angela Nightingale. My husband and I often talked about her at home (he worked with her too), and we started referring to her as Nighty. It was really a term of endearment as she was/is very nice. Then a few weeks later, in front of her, and many other people in a meeting, I said “oh, Nighty said X, Y & Z”. Stunned silence from everyone for several seconds. Had to keep working with her but nobody ever mentioned it! I still see her sometimes and cringe.

Just the other day I was doing some gardening in our front garden, which is on quite a busy street. A man stopped to chat about what I was doing and was telling me about the work he'd done in his garden. Loads of people are friendly and stop and say hello at the moment and it was nice to have some socially distant interaction. I asked lots of questions about what kind of fence he'd put up, and whether he'd put plants among the stone chippings etc etc. Then we had the 'has everyone stayed well and safe' chat and I said we had and had he and his family. He seemed slightly bemused at times, but on we chatted until he prepared to move on and said "Well, you know where we are if you need us" and moved 10 feet to his gate NEXT DOOR. We've lived here five years!! It's a good job I had a spade to dig the hole I wanted to crawl into.

Very awkward because I had quite a bit to do with him for the next two years

Surely it would have just been easier to have moved to a completely new area and change your dcs school

I once went to collect an elderly uncle to take him to a family dinner. He was leaning against a chair and asked me if I could pull up his zip. I thought he meant his trousers so went to do it only to realise it was already done! He said I asked you to pick up my stick 🤦‍♀️ and pointed to his walking stick that had fallen on the floor!

I have two which pop into my head regularly.

The first was when a new boyfriend was meeting my parents for the first time, we were in the kitchen making sandwiches. I opened a fresh block of butter which had been sitting on the counter so was soft enough to spread easily and got a good glob of it on a knife to quickly get through all the bread. I then asked the BF if he liked butter on his sandwich and he just looked at me and the knife in horror. I think he thought I was going to put all that butter on just one sandwich. I think of that every single time I make a sandwich or butter some toast now. Such a silly thing and the BF and I didn't last long but I can't stop thinking about that one thing.

Second one, in a previous house we knew the NDNs really well and the wife had different names for everyone else in the street. Except I had NO idea that they were made up names. She called one something along the lines of Grumpy Gladys so I just thought this woman's name was Gladys. I found out it wasn't when there was an accident in our street, I was helping before emergency services arrived and I was asking "Gladys" if she could help fetch me something and she just stared at me. I kept calling her Gladys to her face and had no idea why she wasn't responding. It was weeks afterwards I found out it wasn't her real name. Just to make matters worse, another neighbour she'd had a falling out with really WAS called Gladys (again I only found that out later too.) Just so glad we've moved from there now so I don't have to face them again.

When I was fifteen I lied to my parents and went to a CND demonstration and missed the last bus back to our town. It got late and my parents became extremely worried so they drove down to the bus station to see if I might be there. My DM had been ready for bed, so had just put a mac over her nightie. My DF needed the loo and left my DM for a few minutes during which time she saw a car being stolen. It turned out ok because the car thief was caught. However, when my DM appeared in court as a witness the defending solicitor questioned her reliability, implying she was a prostitute hanging round the bus station at midnight in a nightdress. My DF, who was a policeman, was not amused. It was along time before I went on any more demonstrations.

The one my memory will never let me block out was when I met a girl doing an evening class and she mentioned her school in conversation which happened to be the one I’d attended. I went blabbering on asking if she had this teacher and that teacher etc until she finally stopped me to say we had the same teachers because we went to school together

To this day I have no idea who she was!

In my first year of uni, I excitedly told a member of staff I'd seen them at the county court (with a friend of the court volunteer lanyard on, so not a defendant or witness or anything) that morning whilst doing my one day a week work experience. It wasn't her. It doesn't feel so mortifying now but I was so embarrassed at the time, at least I didn't walk up to the person at the court and say hello!

Could be outing but here goes. I worked with a man who stammered. He told me a joke.
A man went up to the bar "Can I have a pint of lager for me and a pint of bitter for my friend Donkey.". After a few rounds, his mate Donkey goes up to the bar " Can I have a pint of bitter and a pint of lager for my friend?" The barman says "Do you know he calls you Donkey"
"Yes" replies Donkey "Eeyore, retire, he always calls me that"
I didn't laugh I just waited. He repeated the punch line and I still didn't laugh, the office is in stitches. Another colleague repeated the punchline and I twigged. I hadn't realized the joke was finished, I thought he was stammering . Twenty years later he still hasn't let me live it down.

DH and I used to call our next door neighbours (who we hardly spoke to) Beavis and Butthead, because we didn't know their names and didn't much like them either. We said those names whenever we mentioned them. One day when the guy knocked on our door about something to do with the bins, I answered the door. DH called from the other room "Who is it?" Without thinking, I called back "It's Butthead". There was no reaction so I only hope he hadn't heard what I'd said!

When I was younger we were still allowed to smoke in offices and on the shop floor. We would often borrow cigarettes off each other and give them back later.
Once when I went to borrow a cigarette I misunderstood someone handing me an open cigarette packet and i took the packet, I later realised when I opened it up that she was showing me she only had two left and one of them was half smoked, I'd taken her last few. I suddenly had an oh my god moment.

Laughing at some of these. Like a pp I remember brushing my newly done hair with the clothes brush the hairdresser handed me (I was only about 11). No more embarrassing stories, oh no, not I.
However, like a pp’s teacher, my DM hopped into a car which was in a line of traffic crawling past the bus stop. She thought it was her friend’s DH and the driver thought mom was his DW’s friend. By the time they’d established that actually they didn’t know each other, they were halfway to mom’s work and as he was going that way anyway, he dropped her off.
DM has form for getting in the wrong car though. I once arranged to pick her up from home and found her at the junction near their house getting out of a red car. I had a red car too and she’d just got in, thinking it was me, and made the unfortunate woman driving scream in panic.
A friend also had an embarrassing moment when she hosted a party. A good looking guy she vaguely knew asked if she had an ashtray but she thought he said an Astra. She replied, no, I’ve got a Toyota. He gave her a strange look and walked off...

@formerbabe, I pretty much did do that, for many reasons, and slowly! Hence the two more years

Not me,but one of my best friends was on her way back from a festival when we were teenagers. She was at Waterloo station waiting for her train home, backpack on and no doubt looking slightly disheveled from a weekend of raving and no shower, when this homeless guy approached her and asked her where she was staying the night/did she know any local homeless shelters!!!! After advising him she wasn't actually homeless, she gave him a few quid for a sarnie and got on her train.

Thankfully this wasn't me, but someone I used to work with. At the Christmas party she was a bit drunk and one of the senior managers was dancing and she said something to him about how he was a rubbish dancer, no bounce or whatever. He said "oh it's because of my fake leg." She laughed and told him not to make up excuses for being a crap dancer. There was then quite a long back and forth where he tried to get her to believe that he actually did have a prosthetic leg while the people around her tried to get her to shut up about it. I think in the end he had to pull up his trouser leg slightly to prove it.

Thankfully he found it funny.

Too many to count! When I was a very callow youth I got a job doing door-to-door promotions. One day I saw a large, colourfully dressed gathering in the conservatory of a large house. Thinking to be polite, I knocked on the half-open door, smiled and launched into my spiel. There was a SILENCE into which my voice eventually fizzled out. It was only a wake, wasn’t it?....one where they were going with wearing something colourful, yes, but a bloody wake nevertheless......haunts me to this day.

Then a few years down the line at a party, I based an entire conversation with another guest on mis-hearing some innocent remark as an admission they were having an affair. We continued in this manner for a remarkable length of time until I acknowledged their ‘bravery’ in being so open about something so personal. Cue puzzled and somewhat offended expression, me stuttering ‘oh, I thought....er, dunno what I thought’ and making a swift getaway!

Oh god I have so many.

One of the worst was when I was working in a care home about 25 years ago. We had an emergency respite admission, a poor young woman from a war torn country. She barely spoke a word of English and was in a highly traumatised state. She appeared at the office one day shouting 'I AM ANGRY, I AM ANGRY!!' I tried my best to calm her down and comfort her but in the end just gave her a diazepam and a glass of water, it was all I could do under the circumstances. She gave me this look and wandered off.

Five minutes later I found her in the communal kitchen trying to make a sandwich. Poor woman had tried to tell me she was HUNGRY not angry She must have looked at the pill I gave her and thought WTF, how is that going to fill me up?!!