Oh FGS (TMI)

[Puffinsareblackandwhite]

I am developing thrush. Because an itchy vagina is clearly what I needed on top of dealing with year 10...

There was a pheasant wondering down my road yesterday, I should have grabbed it to put away for my next bout of thrush

But put it where, thattime - will there be room up there along with the peasant?

I have a persistent chaffinch in my front hedge.

May or may not be a euphemism.

Aren't pheasants spectacularly dim? Because there's clearly no other reason to keep them far, far away from your foof!

I'll have to turf the peasant out

Actually giggled at "persistent chaffinch"

I fear my gardens are lacking excitement.

'Peasant'

!

Best typo of 2017 thus far!

I have a persistent chaffinch in my front hedge.
I genuinely lolled at that.

I don't 'have' a pheasant as such. It just wanders around my back garden, the gardens of the neighbours and the woods behind my house. It shouts rather a lot. With that and the deer it gets rather noisy.

I have a trampoline in my garden. I imagine Ivy's garden has fountains and all sorts.

I have just been reading a thread about 'lady gardeners' - I think that is what it was called.

So now I am wondering about Ivy's topiary.

It is just not nice that people like you make the poor plebs do all the dirty work in the lady garden

I too have a persistent chaffinch in my bush. I really must get around to trimming it.

I've woken the dog up by laughing so much.

Itchy chuff is no fun. If you can't get to a chemist and you have natural yoghurt in the fridge then decant some into a small bowl or saucer, dunk a tampon in it and then insert the tampon. It is a bit messy - if you have a pantyliner or towel then it's worth wearing it for the, ahem, fallout. But it will help with the itching aka the temptation to claw your innards out with a rusty spoon

How to you trim a chaffinch?

MrDacre I really think it is inappropriate to talk about 'chuffs' on a nice thread about ornithology and gardening.

I am clutching my pearls.

Sorry bitof

An antihistamine will help with the itch. Not sure what it will do for the pheasant tho!

It's external MrDacre, so no tampon dunking for me for the moment. Trust a Puffin to get thrush, never mind the pheasants!

We've got a family of pheasants. Mum, dad and 3 young ones. I think I'm covered should I get a bout of thrush for a while!

😂

If you had to choose between year 10 and thrush, I would choose the thrush.
I'm sure I read somewhere that if you dip a pheasant or was it a peasant in yoghurt, it is a really great thrush remedy. Homeopathy is just fantastic. If you can't find a pheasant, a partridge or quail is also fine. It does need to be a ground living bird though, obviously. Otherwise it would just be silly.

What does mum pheasant do when she gets thrush? This is getting confusing

Pen I'm lucky: I don't need to choose, I get to have both!