Oh FGS (TMI)

[Puffinsareblackandwhite]

I am developing thrush. Because an itchy vagina is clearly what I needed on top of dealing with year 10...

How's the thrush, OP? I feel we need to establish what kind of thrush you have:

Mistle thrush: This is a pale, black-spotted thrush - large, aggressive and powerful.

The song thrush (Turdus philomelos) is a thrush that breeds across much of Eurasia. It has brown upperparts and black-spotted cream or buff underparts...The song thrush breeds in forests, gardens and parks, and is partially migratory. The song thrush builds a neat mud-lined cup nest in a bush or tree and lays four to five dark-spotted blue eggs. Like other perching birds (passerines), it is affected by external and internal parasites and is vulnerable to predation by cats and birds of prey.

Poor Baldrick! Or maybe he'd be happy with that arrangement, not much call for peasants these days.

If you have problems with Brown Boobys and start eating like a Gannet then you could be pregnant .

Awkward questions were asked when my cover class went home and said that their science teacher had been away and Miss Kaitlinktm had showed them a video about boobies:

'Peasant' sounds potentially a good thing depending on how attractive said peasant might be. 'Pheasant' ooo not so much! 😂

I used to work with a guy we nicknamed Canesten because he was such an irritating c*nt 😃

My favourite part that has been overlooked is that the original and immense typo by @queenmortificado of Get to a chemist and get a peasant now. was followed by the very ominous sounding It will be over by the morning

I think there is some explaining to be done...

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now

Go to the lady we all know.....at the chemist

He's a noisy bastard when he comes but I can't help but feed love him

That's exactly how I feel about DH!

I've got blue tits nesting in my garden. DS has rigged up a bird box camera, linked to the TV, and is fascinated. Very educational. I can recommend it.

(My phone tried to autocorrect "linked" to "look naked" just there. Even more educational. Not sure I want to display my naked blue tits on TV though. Or anywhere.)

@Gamerchick, I'm picturing allsorts

Like this?

Allsort Peasant to the rescue!

They might go with my blue footed boobies though, wonderfulworld

Or this might help

Or this? To be worn while trimming the front garden, obviously. They'll soon clear it of any edible debris - yoghurt, cereals and the like.

Kaitlin, that's absolutely true. And what an educational experience for your students. And for my DS. Maybe we should found our own school? We could even have our own song:

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh why can't I?

OP for future reference you NEED multi gyn actigel. Million times better and fast acting then Canesten

Blu99, surely you aren't implying that actigel works better than my fabulous Allsorts Thrush hat?

itsawonderfulworld
That's exactly what I'm saying haha

Everybody, if you're trimming your hedgerows, please do so before birds nest and breed in the spring. That's it then, no more trimming until autumn when the hedgerow is positively bursting with life. Then you can use as many peasants as you like to do what you like with your hedgerows.

If you can stand the sting for couple of minutes.it does work salt just rub in affected area works for me every time.creams are a waste of money.i think anyway.

Canestan! I used to get recurring thrush and I am so thankful for those red and white tubes

DH has just cried with laughter at this. Thanks so much.

We too have a pheasant in the garden from time to time, suburbs, but we are the peasants.

I'm sure I read somewhere that if you dip a pheasant or was it a peasant in yoghurt, it is a really great thrush remedy. Homeopathy is just fantastic.

I think you'll find that for the homeopathic approach, you need very high levels of dilution....so wait til your yoghurty pheasant sits down in the garden, then afterwards, go sit where it was sitting, full clothed - that should be about the right concentration of active ingredients ;-).

I took a photo of the pheasant in my MIL's garden .........I had to get up to it really close to get the selfie.
My PIL's think I should send the photo in to Countryfile's calendar competition.

Could we have a MN calendar of pheasants in members gardens?

We could call it "Birds in the Bush".

What do you think?