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Original poster

My colleague has twat me over the head with a courgette..

623 replies

DidYouBINmysushiyouTWAT · 06/05/2016 19:04

Too vague?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
sepa · 09/05/2016 19:58

Squiff I did read part of that thread but this one was better so left to finish thread 1!

sepa · 09/05/2016 19:59

We need this Instagram account set up. sushi this is homework for ITbitch?

BabyMonkeyMummy · 09/05/2016 20:27

Does she not realise how fucking ridiculous it would be to take your milk home every night? Idiot.

I personally would change the way the door opens just to mess with her.

Either that or fill the fridge with office stationery - professional items, not personal.

Pipbin · 09/05/2016 20:28

OP - can you cancel the cheque?

Grin
Mini2083 · 09/05/2016 20:30

Ok, caught up. Let me get this right, ITbitch, sidekick aka courgettekennycunt and fridge hogger cunt (can't remember her proper name) can't wait for tomorrow's instalment!!

Zaurak · 09/05/2016 20:44

I have a recipe for cocoa and courgette cake if you'd like it. Once you've cancelled the cheque of course...

I'd reply all "there is no need to empty the fridge every night. We can do a once a week clean out on a Friday when anything not labelled will be chucked. Can I politely remind everyone that the fridge is for us all and space is limited. Please do not store your shopping in the fridge as this is both inconsiderate and a health hazard due to raw meats."

I'd also be sending an email to your line manager politely asking them to have a word - on the lines of the raw meat being a potential liability to the company
And because its inconsiderate. But in my experience management don't give a fuck who's inconvenienced. The word liability does often produce results though ;)

Marmalade85 · 09/05/2016 20:59

Cuntgette

TransvisionTramp · 09/05/2016 22:07

ohh I like the fridge instagram account idea.

Could IT Bitch not hack her emails and do a reply to all on her behalf saying something along the lines of "I know I've been really selfish in the past taking up all the space in the fridge and realise how much this is causing problems. I also acknowledge that storing raw meat and fish in a communal fridge might be in breach of the Health & Safety at Work Act. I will therefore do my shopping after work"

You and Team Courgette could then take it in turns to go up to her (with a courgette in your hand) and say how much you appreciate this.

Viva la Revolution, Viva la Cock Courgette!

Baconyum · 09/05/2016 22:10

"But in my experience management don't give a fuck who's inconvenienced. The word liability does often produce results though ;)"

Exactly I think I and a few other pps said similar on first thread. Manager sounds bloody useless!

Pigeonpost · 09/05/2016 22:24

Looking forward to tomorrow's update! I love that you have a team on it now, welcome CourgetteKennyCunt!

HmmmHashtag · 09/05/2016 22:53

OP did you cancel the courgette? Grin

I'd follow that Instagram account. Make it happen! #chequescourgettesandcunts

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 09/05/2016 22:54

Blatant placemarking! I want to know what happens after following the other thread over the weekend x

RaspberryOverload · 09/05/2016 22:54

I'd go with flogging the H&S angle about the raw meat. and cancel the cheque

Grin
KimmySchmidtsSmile · 09/05/2016 23:10

^ zaurak's reply all is very good indeed, polite and to the point.
Has anyone suggested fridge magnet letters or fridge magnetic poetry yet?!
OI CUNTYCHOPS. in kids' alphabet letters stuck on the front...
Or a bespoke fridge magnet......
www.random-badge-emporium.com/dont-be-a-cunt-fridge-magnet---choice-of-sizes---adult-humour-joke-cool-funny-rude-162726-p.asp

Baconyum · 09/05/2016 23:11

Fridge magnets should say exactly this

COMMUNAL fridge
NOT yours cuntyfridgehogger!

BoatyMcBoat · 09/05/2016 23:25

Please will you do the "tip the fridge back and fill it woth jelly" finish? I would so love to see photos of that

fatandold · 09/05/2016 23:50

OK, I've read both threads and been on tenterhooks all weekend. Just unlurking now!

I'd reply all "there is no need to empty the fridge every night. We can do a once a week clean out on a Friday when anything not labelled will be chucked. Can I politely remind everyone that the fridge is for us all and space is limited. Please do not store your shopping in the fridge as this is both inconsiderate and a health hazard due to raw meats."

This is the most helpful and sensible suggestion I've seen.

Also the Instagram account. It would be legend.

Housemum · 10/05/2016 00:00

Just imagining the Daily-Mail-Sad-Face of FridgeHogger (must be a mail reader) pointing at the full fridge whilst holding a dripping raw chicken.

Actually, could also be a Daily Express reader (like my mother) blaming the lack of space in the fridge on the immigrants. Who brought that Japanese stuff in anyway...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/05/2016 00:24

Zaurak's email is fab. Do send that.

Or you could send "Why? So you can continue to hog the communal fridge with your daily shopping? Don't think so!"

Or both. Or all the suggested emails. Get ITBitch and Kenny on board, they could send one/more of them each. AND Thursdaybirthdaygirl too. Grin

And cancel the cheque, FGS! Grin

Zaurak · 10/05/2016 06:55

Thanks. My current office is full of utterly delightful, functional adults, but I have many years of hair raising office / laboratory hell behind me.

Nutritionists ( they who comment on lunches) fish microwavers, chatty fuckers, BO, pickled herring eaters, and people who store tissue samples in the lunch fridge. Or worse, pre chill their beer in the minus 80 freezer with the tissue samples....

Hell truly is other people, op.

ForalltheSaints · 10/05/2016 07:03

Free the courgettes!

DailyMaui · 10/05/2016 07:23

Has anyone asked fridgecunt if she is fridgid?

SpaceDinosaur · 10/05/2016 07:48

So, was the fridge full of sushi actually all eaten yesterday?

CashedTheChequeHasBeen · 10/05/2016 08:47

What's happening this morning. Are you on your way to work fully armed with courgettes?

LazySusan11 · 10/05/2016 08:47

Signing in for another day of #courgettegate Grin