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Original poster

That thing where you think you're being polite but really it's just a bit mad

346 replies

Nabootique · 04/04/2016 08:44

I am in the office just thinking about going to the canteen to get breakfast. I can't order what I want as the very nice young man who works the counter prides himself on getting my "usual" on the go as soon as he sees me approach the door. As a result, I have the same thing every day and don't have the heart to tell him I'd like to order something different.

I feel like this mad level of politeness is probably very common. Any funny stories?

OP posts:
LondonHuffyPuffy · 04/04/2016 12:04

LyingWitch that's brilliant!

Original poster
Nabootique · 04/04/2016 12:13

My dad told me that his dad didn't tell my grandmother that he didn't like her gravy until they had been married for something mad like 23 years.

OP posts:
Toooldtobearsed · 04/04/2016 12:14

Ilostit yes, we did.......
Only DH knows.

Original poster
Nabootique · 04/04/2016 12:15

It wasn't AnnPerkins husband, was it Toold? Apparently he just looks like a Gary Grin

OP posts:
LittleCandle · 04/04/2016 12:18

XH's aunt had never heard my name before (it isn't that unusual!) decided it was made up and so called me something that began and ended with the same letters but which is a name I hate! Despite being corrected by XH and his collective family, she stuck to this awful name the whole time we were married (over 20 years). I loathed the woman!

EverySecondCounts · 04/04/2016 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2016 12:25

Pinky, isn't it just. I can't believe I did that. Too British to just get up and carry on regardless. Made a show of myself instead as that was SO much easier (not!).

Nabootique... I stayed on the floor with head in arms for what seemed like ten minutes but it was probably less than a minute - time enough for him to scuttle off. I didn't know whether he'd gone or not... Blush

Anyway, if you really must try a bunny dip, see it in the clip of this film (that I got my own failed 'dip' from):

The Price of Beauty:

London... thanks, I can talk about it now. Couldn't then. Blush

I'm really cackling about some of these other posts though... particularly the name-missers. I would probably go so far as to change my name via deed poll to the wrong name so as not to be rude... Shock. I must NOT be so British! Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2016 12:27

Bunny dip instruction is at about 8.45 into the clip... she does it SO well. EnvyGrin

Toooldtobearsed · 04/04/2016 12:48

Oh God, I missed your post annPerkins Grin

No, my Gary was a lifelong bachelor. I think. I am pretty sure. Shit, what if he had been married for 20 years and I never knew?.?

No. He was definitely single. I think.

ElviraCondomine · 04/04/2016 12:49

A friend of my mother's was actually engaged to her now DH before she discovered he was called something totally different to what she'd been calling him.

They met at school in their teens. He was a couple of years above her so she'd never seen his name written down. Imagine she hears all his mates call him Billy, she thinks it sounds childish so calls him Will. Later on she discovers he's actually called Andrew but his surname's Connolly! (names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

The funny thing is, she was still calling him by 'her' name for him 30 years later!

Original poster
Nabootique · 04/04/2016 12:54

I can totally see how a bunny dip could go easily wrong. I wouldn't attempt it, and I once won a limbo competition

OP posts:
KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 04/04/2016 13:00

I was being trained by a woman. She asked me to go to lunch with her which I accepted. I then,much later and in a completely unconnected way, asked her if she lived nearby. She looked at me strangely and said " oh no, I meant we'd gave lunch in the canteen, not at my house" I was too surprised to explain properly, and she just kept repeating (slowly) "we're eating in the canteen" . I was too polite to push it further so allowed her to continue thinking I was a bit of a stalker for the rest of my contract.

RupertPupkin · 04/04/2016 13:03

I fished out dd's poo from a restaurant toilet with a toilet roll when it didn't flush because I didn't want to be That Customer. We'd just gone in to use the toilet and there were no other customers so would've been obvious it was us. Blush

ValancyJane · 04/04/2016 13:06

When I was visiting my Nan once over Easter I had been given a multipack of those mini chocolate buttons from my Mum. My Nan has now got it into her head that they're my favourite chocolate, and gets me some on every visit. I can't possibly tell her that actually I'd quite like something different once in awhile!!

Thisisnotausername · 04/04/2016 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 04/04/2016 13:18

Oh another one I've remembered. When I was in my first job, the kind bus driver used to drop me at my office even though there wasn't a stop. Which was great-until I moved offices and he still dropped me in the same place. I used to get off the bus, thanking him profusely, then wait for it to get out of sight before hectically sprinting to my new office. I used to cross my fingers every day that it would be a different driver so I wouldn't be late for work!

Roobix04 · 04/04/2016 13:23

This is the most British thread I've ever read! The only one I can think of at the moment is that today I have a booking in appointment with the midwife who I hated from last time. Rang up the midwifery unit weeks ago to make the appointment and I was too British to ask for someone else when they said she was available! So that'll be fun for the next few months.

Roussette · 04/04/2016 13:26

Lying I've just choked on my cheese toastie and it's all down to you! That is hilarious! Pretending to be asleep hahaha

I'm one of those people who sort of fudge the bare facts a bit like if you are in a group conversation and you say "yes, I know what you mean, that sort of happened to me". And everyone nods knowingly. Then my best friend says "really... when?!" and I sort of mumble on "you know, that time years ago".

Then my friend who knows me inside out says "Rous, you never had that happen did you..." and I say "No, I didn't" and everyone laughs.

I'm not a liar, I just join in too much!

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 04/04/2016 13:26

I was once in a local shoe shop with my son and there was a woman in there with twins, who were kicking off and she looked stressed out, so I smiled in solidarity and said "hard work sometimes, isn't it? My kids don't like having their feet measured either". She replied "you have twins too? Oh, isn't it such hard work? Nice to meet a fellow twin mum!" (In case it isn't clear here, I don't have twins!). She seemed so happy to meet another twin mum that I didn't like to tell her I didn't have twins, like somehow it was rude of me to assume I understood her situation unless I had twins too.

I really tried not to actually lie but she kept asking me about my twins ("how old are yr twins?" "He's 2 and a half" ; "so where the other twin now?" "Oh my other kids are with my husband" then she said "are yours identical?" And I just kinda mumbled "no...") and then she tried to give me details about a local twin group...

For weeks after I was worried I would see her again at a toddler group or something and I'd have to make up stories about the missing twin, or she would say something in front of people who know me... Fortunately I haven't seen her since and that was 5 years ago so I think I am safe :)

Original poster
Nabootique · 04/04/2016 13:28

Oh, another thing I do (these all seem to be food related) is I won't usually send something back in a restaurant or from a take away if it's wrong as long as it is something I would actually eat. If it's something I really hate I will, but otherwise I'll just keep quiet so as not to inconvenience anyone.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2016 13:29

I have another one too... this is really ridiculous (not that my last one wasn't}:

I was out with my husband and decided to call into a 'light shop' as I'd spied some lights that I like the style of (floor lamp, branches at random with lights kind of thing). I spotted the very one I had been looking for and go up close and personal with it. Too close. I got my cardi snagged on a low-flying branch and, as I swivelled around to free it, another branch caught my 'up do' (my hair's always like that otherwise it's messy). Wriggling to free myself just made it worse and I ended up truly 'tethered' so I just stood there like a lemon waiting for my husband to come running over (he didn't, the twat Angry)

I don't know how many sales staff came over to ask if I needed any help with anything but I merrily sent each one away with a cheery, "Thanks but I'm just browsing". They must have been wetting themselves laughing because when I eventually parted company from the 'tree' when my errant husband finally showed, he said I'd looked really odd just standing there and my hair was like 'Medusa'. Confused

I slinked out of the shop and shall never, ever return... ShockBlush

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/04/2016 13:31

I do that TOO Nabootieque, you are not on your own. I've even been known to do it when it was not my error. Eaten food containing mushrooms (which I loathe and am careful to order meals without them)... picking carefully the bits of food that I can eat and leaving miniscule mushroom 'droppings' on the plate. Shock

MrsMainwaring · 04/04/2016 13:37

lying I will never tire hearing about that supermarket story , legend
You fucking loon Grin

BathshebaDarkstone · 04/04/2016 13:41

I have a similar thing in the Sainsbury's cafe, I ordered a large caramel latte a few times and now they start making it as soon as they see me! I daren't change the order in case I confuse them! Blush

Original poster
Nabootique · 04/04/2016 13:43

I am giggling away at my desk thanks to your second story LyingWitch. So glad I started this thread.

With the food thing, a recent one was in a Chinese take away. I had ordered chicken in black bean sauce and they gave me beef in black bean sauce. I like beef in black bean sauce as well, so I didn't say anything, even though I wanted, and ordered, chicken.

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