That thing where you think you're being polite but really it's just a bit mad

[Nabootique]

I am in the office just thinking about going to the canteen to get breakfast. I can't order what I want as the very nice young man who works the counter prides himself on getting my "usual" on the go as soon as he sees me approach the door. As a result, I have the same thing every day and don't have the heart to tell him I'd like to order something different.

I feel like this mad level of politeness is probably very common. Any funny stories?

My son came home from his friend's house when he was 9 with his pockets stuffed with lemon drizzle cake. He didn't want to offend the mum by telling her he didn't like it.
It took ages to get all the crumbs out.

Oh god. I met a lovely man in a bar once, couldn't hear a word but he was very attractive so we had a date. And another and so it went on until one day he said ( for he was from California) er, why do you always call me Gary? Is it a British thing?

And to my shame I said " oh, yes, if we really like someone we call them Gary"

Ha ha Gary.

I took a call at work today, the caller said oh dear do you have a sore throat, you sound terrible? I don't. But said yes, then put on a croaky voice for the rest of the call .

My colleagues were giving me this look .

Many years later I am still in touch with er, Gary, and it's his nickname in the USA. He is a very senior corporate bod now, of a massive multi national and " Gary" to his friends and his inner circle, much to my mortification on FB and linked in.

It's amazing no one has ever said " Wtf?:) " to him. I still call him Gary.. Or Gazzer:)

But surely you now have to call everybody you like Gary, lavenderhoney, it being a British thing and all that, just to keep up pretences on FB?

Paxillin, he lives in the USA- recently we met for dinner and he bought along the VIP of sales, so we had a big hug " Gary! You haven't changed a bit"

VIP guy was from NYC and worked hard not to be the cynical fucker he clearly was.

When I left London to get the train back to.the sticks, I hugged " Gary" and hugged the VIP sales guy and said " hey- can I call you Gary too?:)" priceless as he said " um, yeah, call me what you want, babe" and the original Gary said petulantly " I'M her Gary" :)

Thank fuck they are an ocean away:)

I'm her Gary

Oh that is too good!

Gary!

That is excellent!

I just remembered that after about 7 years of being with DH did he tell me that I don't put enough milk in his tea! I asked why he never told me, he said he hadn't wanted to hurt my feelings

I'm a lawyer and married to a South African and they are so refreshingly rude open and blunt honest that my Britishness is slowly ebbing away. I think it's a combination of having to be assertive professionally and being influenced by Saffas.

Example - if we go out for dinner and there's something not quite right with my meal I will politely send it back. I can feel you all like this at my audacity! No food stuffed handbags or pockets for me.

However, it wasn't always so... as a kid, I went for dinner at a friend's house and her Mum served fish fingers, chips and peas. I didn't like peas so I tucked into the fish fingers thinking I would leave the peas.

Then her Mum started berating her little sister for not eating her peas, and said "Huffy eats all her peas, don't you Huffy?"

I took one pea, tentatively put it in my mouth and chewed... nearly gagged, but smiled as her Mum smiled at me... then ate the rest like tablets, drinking them down with mouthfuls of water. I was pooing whole peas for what felt like days.

My ILs like their tea weak. When I say weak, it's practically homeopathic; they dip the teabag in for a few seconds (no mashing it against the side of the mug with the teaspoon), then pour in generous quantities of full-fat milk.

I prefer my tea just the right side of stewed, with a small splash of semi or skimmed milk.

Guess how I had my tea when I visited them? This went on for five years, until I finally plucked up the courage to admit to my MIL that I like strong tea.

You need to correct people or you may end up in my friends position!

He is a sports coach and two of the children he teaches have a pretty famous parent. This parent kept getting his Name completely wrong and after a while he stopped correcting them.

My friend was nominated for a pretty big award, a couple of thousand people were there. We took our seats, listened to some boring speeches. Then time for the awards.

Onto the stage steps this parent, of course my friend had won, famous person on stage looks horrified when my friend stands up. When he gets to the stage the famous parent is trying to tell him whispering that he's misheard.

The whole conversation with my friend saying they have been calling him the wrong name for three years was heard by everyone over the microphone!!

Talking to the massuese all the fricking way through massages. Wish I could tell them to shut it.

Loving these! I too have eaten meat after becoming vegetarian (it was at my former best friend's house and I didn't want to offend her mum, in my defence I was only ten). I don't know how I choked it down, I can remember struggling through it and feeling guilty.

Actually crying at "if we really like someone we call them Gary"

I too have a dad that has been eating various meals for over 40 years that he doesn't much like. We have tried to tell my mum but she's adamant that said foods are among dad's favourites.

Only last week he had to eat some sort of carrot stew instead of the pizza everyone else was eating. We are now forbidden to express disappointment on his behalf.

He's so in love with her after all these years that he will never express a dislike for anything she cooks as he refuses to upset her. Mum will merrily cook these dishes for the next 40 odd years thinking they're his favourite.

The funniest thing is that they're not even British, they must have absorbed this trait via some kind of osmosis.

Someone once congratulated my ex boyfriend on my forthcoming marriage.

They thought I was marrying him. He had no idea what to say so went along with it and said thanks, yes, he was looking forward to the wedding that he wasn't the groom for and didn't have an invite to go to.

My mother had to explain a few weeks later when she showed the same person my wedding photograph and I was standing next to a total stranger, with no sign of my ex.

That was awkward. Although judging by the thread it's also possibly a miracle that out of some sense of politeness she didn't try to claim I'd married them both, or that ex had had plastic surgery for the wedding or something.

My ex-DH likes a bit of Shakespeare and goes to the Globe quite frequently. Last year he was in the queue to collect his tickets and became aware that a number of people around him were deaf. He thought to himself at the time that this would be a long, perhaps challenging time to be standing in the pit if you weren't able to easily understand the action. Anyway, as soon as the play started, he realised the horrible truth in these thoughts. The whole performance was signed.

Rather than sneaking out quietly as soon as he realised, he did the British thing and stood thoughout the entire silent event. For nearly 3 hrs. Well, he'd paid £5 for that ticket.

I used to have a favourite food pub, that I went to regularly, and perhaps strode around in a bit.

I was there with my mother in law and I went to get menus from the bar. As I returned to our table a customer stopped me.

Customer: we've been waiting here for much longer than that woman and you haven't brought us menus

Me: sorry, she's my mil.

Customer: that's no reason to serve her first.

Me: (realizing that he thought I worked there) I'll just get yours now, you have to order at the bar.

I went and ate with my mil, but I would have served him, rather than tell him he was mistaken.

I don't think you crossed a line Everysecond That's hilarious!