To be slightly mortified

[Allinson2014]

A delivery driver just came to the door. I opened the door and said "chicken". I've no idea why. He looked like this and then ran away. I've no explanation apart from my DD is teething and thinks sleep is for wimps at the moment.

Did you think he came to deliver some Chicken?! My only idea! :D

Nope I can't even blame that. I didn't know what he was here for. I was rushing about with the baby under one arm and trying to stop the puppy running outside with the other.

It could be worse. My cat is long haired and very furry, one of her many nicknames is "furry face".

I had a supermarket shop delivered the other week and as the driver was unloading the bags, my cat ran into the house and started sniffing the bags. I said (in a talking to the cat kind of voice) "what have we got in here for a furry face?" And looked up..the driver had a huge bushy beard and was looking at me like WTF.

It was awful. I'm turning inside out just recalling it.

thank you for brightening my day!

@ YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually

Hahaha that's made me feel better YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually

I snorted at that Yes.

We call all my dog's toys "bunny" as his first one was a rabbit and he knows the word now.

I had a delivery driver call the other day and distract the dog from jumping up on him, I threw his toy and called "Get your bunny."
The delivery guy looked at me like this and I could see him thinking "that's a pig, you fool".

Haha these are making me laugh. I sometimes call DD chicken and I put her on the floor to answer the door. I said "sit there", my brain obviously wanted me to end the sentence with chicken

keep 'em coming, really cheered me up

Shades of John Cleese in Monty Python:

Your dung, Sir.

When ds1 was learning to talk, he decided that anything with four legs was a cow.
We were out for a walk, he saw a lady with a dog and shouted -
COW!
She gave me a bit of a stare.....

When ds1 was learning to talk, he decided that anything with four legs was a cow.
We were out for a walk, he saw a lady with a dog and shouted -
COW!
She gave me a bit of a stare.....

My DS was constantly attached to my boob when he was a baby. I mean constantly. I used to just walk around with them out because there was no point putting them away. Once a postman knocked at the door... You can guess the rest

I once got my "voices" mixed up when I was on the phone to the GP's receptionist and the DC's were playing up. I answered a perfectly normal question in a tone that suggested she wasn't going to get any sweets for a month.

I had to send an email to DS's firm tutor and while typing it on my phone got a text message from DH letting me know he was going to be working quite late.
DS's form tutor got the info he had requested plus the addition note that it was fine and his tea was be in the oven to heat up but not to be too loud when he got home as I would be in bed...
He replied thanking me for the information and assuring me that his own partner would be sorting tea out that night..

I had to send an email to DS's firm tutor

And how do you know he is firm? Have you been squeezing him...?

Oh cock
This is why I should never type on phones, it just causes trouble!!

I went to school with my trousers on inside out today. I had just got out of the shower and was in a rush. I didn't realise until I got home. I'd stopped to talk to loads of mums too. Dd gleefully told me she had clocked it straight away but neglected to tell me as ' I thought you were being you mum'
I could die of embarrassment.

I answered a perfectly normal question in a tone that suggested she wasn't going to get any sweets for a month. Hahaha SaucyJack

I was paying in a supermarket the other day and instead of saying Thankyou I said curry in a rather strange tone, luckily the girl started laughing

I went to say thank you to the bus driver as I passed him getting off the bus the other day, instead I inexplicably stopped right next to him and just said "hello".
Then we both looked at each other with suprise before I mumbled my apologies and got off the bus.

I worked in a supermarket and at the timewas always saying 'thankyou' to my toddler after he asked for something to try and teach him his manners. Anyway somebody came to my till, I handed them their change and when they didn't say thanks I said 'thankyou!' In a very superior tone!They just looked at me like wtf !oh the shame I went bright red !

I once said 'love you' to one of the kids teachers at parents evening instead of 'thank you' ffs.

I have done this. Called a customer 'baby boy' no idea why.

Another one from me as I couldn't decide which was worse..

Having just rang the local takeaway one Friday night, my DH and I stood in the kitchen talking about 'what we would like for dessert ' it was a full on naughty conversation. suddenly I hear "Hello? hello?" I hadn't put the bloody phone down had I!? Oh. My. Life. I made DH answer the door to them ever since haha!