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Original poster

ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
musicposy · 02/04/2014 22:51

We have a roundabout in our town I always call Northgate Roundabout. DH says it's not a roundabout, it's a one way system. I say it's a large roundabout and therefore he cannot drive 3/4 way round it in the left hand lane. He says he can because it isn't a roundabout. We argue about this every single time DH drives into town.

Recently we stopped to read an approaching road sign. It says "Northgate Gyratory". Which doesn't help the cause of either of us I am still right though.

HandbagCrazy · 02/04/2014 23:14

puntasticusername thank you - i shall save that for when the row inevitably starts at the end of November Grin

I have also remembered the row over the hypothetical lottery win - DH talking about how great it would be and me despairing over him bankrupting us with Aston Martins.

Not forgetting our infamous and much referred to arguement about arranging furniture when we moved into this house. I honestly dont know what happened - we had moved several times before, but sorting out this house became "For fucks sake, you're plans arent LOGICAL" (DH), "You arse, I just want it to look nice" (me) and descended into "You're never happy" (DH), and me "Fuck you. Why are we together? You dont listen..." (me). And then i flounced up my mothers to moan about him and was promptly told not to be so stupid! Grin

puntasticusername · 02/04/2014 23:20

You're welcome, I'd like to be a fly on your wall that day Grin

Vintagecakeisstillnice · 02/04/2014 23:27

If a certain type of biscuit is Irish or not. . . .

To any Irish MNers the biscuit is Kimberleys as in Kimberley, Mikado and Coconut cream fame.

His view is that as coconut is not grown in Ireland they're not Irish?

I mean how do you not argue with that?

FriendlyLadybird · 02/04/2014 23:33

Viscount Linley. We've steered clear of minor royals since.

karatekimmi · 03/04/2014 06:28

The pancake row of 2011.

I made some pancakes, the DH stepped up to the pan to make me a pancake but didn't put any oil in and I got a shrivelled mess of a pancake. I asked if he re-oiled the pan as you need to each time and he had a huff. I made him a perfect pancake which he refused to eat.

Well the plate and pancake got chucked in the bin, I slammed down the spatula which hit the counter, bounced up on the tiled wall and back to hit me in the face. DH didn't even smile!! I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face!!

sherazade · 03/04/2014 07:04

If dh packs my iPod charger when he's away working i tend to fly into a rage

Melonbreath · 03/04/2014 07:06

Semidemiquavers. He said I couldn't do them even. I proved I could, he said they weren't even. I kicked off and cried and screamed and tried to throw him out.

We were both pissed.

motherinferior · 03/04/2014 08:49

Yes, they're an extremely large breed of rabbit. Not the size of a table, but according to Time mag which I looked up last night just to confirm this point (can't link as am on phone) 'the size of a small sheep'; I'd say a large dog? Big bugger rabbits. Even DP accepts this now (as I reminded him last night).

DXBMermaid · 03/04/2014 09:04

DorothyBastard that was me and my DH. It happend years ago. We bought a double mattrass 140x200 at Ikea but we were poor students decided to take it home ourselves rather then fork out for the delivery. We balanced it upright on the peddles of our two bicycles. Me in front, steering (or trying to). Now DH at the back telling me to: hold it, just fucking hold it. It seriously nearly was the end of our relationship. We got home and I left him and the sodding mattrass at th bottom of the stairs and flounced off. We laugh about it now Grin

The other massive row was about how to defrost mince...

motherinferior · 03/04/2014 09:06

Par 7, l2 I'm right I tell you!

Poledra · 03/04/2014 09:27

Last Christmas, we solved the yearly Getting the Tree into the Holder and Straight row, which had previously been reprised every year since we moved in together 1995. DH and 8-yo DD2 did it, whilst I was out of the house. Apparently, it all went very smoothly and with no raised voices. This is now noted down as their task in the Christmas Preparation list Grin

HeirToTheIronThrone · 03/04/2014 09:29

The worst fight we have ever had was over baked potatoes...

AnonymousBird · 03/04/2014 09:56

In DH's family, everyone has to cut bunches of grapes off the stalks not just break them mid stalk otherwise he goes apopleptic. I've just outed myself because presumably this is the ONLY family in the UK where this happens.

He is a very mild mannered man, until you don't cut the grapes!

AnonymousBird · 03/04/2014 10:00

Getting the Tree into the Holder and Straight row

Nearly choked on my tea, I am just with you aaaaalllllll the way Poledra.

NymodigFruOla · 03/04/2014 10:04

I'd been sniggering about the Ikea Rows - until I read Parsley's comment "the Scandinavian Route March Which No Woman nor Man is allowed to deviate from which induces The Rage" and remembered that DP once took a short cut, missing out one section, which reduced me to fury Grin

NymodigFruOla · 03/04/2014 10:07

I hope your DH has a pair of these silverantiques.typepad.com/my_weblog/a_quick_silver_history/, anonymousbird?

stubbornstains · 03/04/2014 10:11

motherinferior OK, I believe you. And find myself wanting one now. Although I did google "rabbit the size of a small sheep" and the results were, er, inconclusive, to say the least Grin.

stubbornstains · 03/04/2014 10:21

OK, I should go and do some work. Must...stop...entering things like "Very Big Rabbit" into Google (the results were great though).

www.bunny-rabbits.com/big-bunny.html

....and derailing the thread, of course Blush

whathappenedlastnight · 03/04/2014 10:23

Which of us would be the best ninja/superhero/detective/ or who would survive the longest in the zombie apocalypse.

(answer to all of the above ..me obviously) Grin

scarffiend · 03/04/2014 10:37

I salted a pan of water ready to put some pasta in. DH comes in to kitchen & shouts at me because he's already salted it. I ask him how I'm supposed to know that as he never salts the food and it always tastes like shit....

Then we took a step back & realised we were being ridiculous. Laughed and carried on with a new pan of water

ProcessYellowC · 03/04/2014 10:43

The relative merits of physics versus chemistry as sciences (very drunken)

Peanut butter (I wanted to buy some smooth as well as crunchy, he said smooth makes him vom, I asked why did that matter and ended with him shouting up the supermarket aisle as I walked away "as long as you don't eat my crunchy")

thebody · 03/04/2014 11:16

Ikea gives everyone the rage as you can smell the flat pack furniture row coming.

MrsNorris0901 · 03/04/2014 11:19

stubbornstains & MotherInferior It's continental giants you're looking for...

In the zombie apocolypse my dh said he can run faster than me so they'd eat me and he'd be fine. Bastard.

ridiculous topics for marital rows
Badvoc · 03/04/2014 11:48

I had a corker of a row with Dh once wrt whether Benylin cough syrup is good for a sore throat...
I said no.
Dh disagreed and tried to force feed me the bloody stuff.
It did not end well Angry