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Original poster

ridiculous topics for marital rows

572 replies

whendotheyleavehome · 02/04/2014 09:23

OK, so I caught myself getting cross at hubby when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight? Other examples please....or am I a lone witch?...

OP posts:
TheListingAttic · 03/04/2014 12:01

"Guess what the world land speed record is/what I had for breakfast this morning/how many average size books could be stored in St. Paul's Cathedral/how long a piece of string is?"
"What/how many/how long?"
"Guess!"
"Just tell me."
"Guess!"
"I have absolutely no idea."
"Go on! Guess!"
"I don't know and don't particularly care."
"Guess!"

At this point, steam starts to come out of me ears.

CreepyCrawly · 03/04/2014 12:14

We argued in tesco about which bin to buy. He wanted one that'd look awful in our kitchen, and I didn't want that "shitty fucking bin". Then I realised we were one of those couples that argue about a bin in tesco

AlpacaPicnic · 03/04/2014 12:42

I've had a row with my best friend over whether or not to store cardboard boxes from televisions etc...
My stance is 'no need'
His stance is 'must be kept'

It ended in tears and me refusing to speak to him for two weeks.

We've fallen out again but over something less frivolous this time Sad

JugglingFromHereToThere · 03/04/2014 12:42

Excellent thread Smile

From page 1 (CadleCrap) ... Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the pond on the other side Grin

I have thought of one but I can't post it because it's too outable

JugglingFromHereToThere · 03/04/2014 12:46

Ah Creepy, your bin buying argument did remind me that we fell out over which saucepans to put on our wedding list when we went round JL. Not a good sign Sad
We compromised and got some of each and use my choice much more as our pasta saucepan

MrsThor · 03/04/2014 12:49

Stomped off to bed in a huff because dh had the audacity to say hulk could beat Thor

Stinklebell · 03/04/2014 13:02

Alpaca we have the storing of TV/whatever cardboard box row regularly in this house.

DH wants to keep them - I lost the row so we now have a loft full of boxes we have moved 3 times, relating to electrical items we no longer own. The row restarts every time I go in the bloody loft

gasfiredbottom · 03/04/2014 13:07

about how he cannot be right 17 YEARS in a row..

we call him MR NEVERWRONG

bonkersLFDT20 · 03/04/2014 13:08

DH: I don't know why they're driving so fast, they won't get there any quicker.

Me and DS1: Errrm, yes they will.

DH: Nope, it doesn't make any difference.

Me: OK darling.

stinkingbishop · 03/04/2014 13:15

ExH/cock of epic proportions cited as an example of MY unreasonable behaviour in the divorce petition (this being the ExH who was a serial adulterer) that I stormed off at a James Blunt concert because I didn't agree with the queue he'd chosen. No, I didn't agree, because he was in the one for picking up tickets and WE ALREADY HAD OURS. But the intransigent b*gger wouldn't listen.

Even my lawyer laughed Smile.

stinkingbishop · 03/04/2014 13:16

That should've been cockofepicproportions. Feels nice retyping Wink.

squizita · 03/04/2014 13:16

Grand Designs.

He enjoys it.

I makes me come over all judgey-pants about the idiotic, entitled, bright-but-no-common-sense trustafarians and the fact they often cannot plan an extra room when DW is clears preggers.

doubleshotespresso · 03/04/2014 13:17

A recurring argument here is the bloody Sky Planner and "space I take up"... Hmm

Recent topics have been:

-Smartbins (DP thinks he could go to Barcelona for a week and have a better time than having no kitchen bin for monthsapparently! Angry
-The suggestion of Meat Free. Mondays, "who have you been taking to, vegetarians?" Confused
-"Why do you make me come to Sainsburys all the time?" Der! Because I cannot lift anything at the moment and you keep eating food from the fridge!
-because I gave "all the good biscuits" to the builders we have here at the moment and left DP "the shit ones with bits of fruit in" EPIC I tell you.
-"Why did we buy a steam cleaner if you have to bloody hoover first?" Let me be clear, it was not that he had to hoover as well, it was that the purchase of a steam cleaner he thought would make less noise while I "pottered" as he was watching telly. I am actually embarrassed to read that one!

murphys · 03/04/2014 13:19

Most of our argument revolve around dh not being able to look for a sodding thing, its just easier to ask Angry

This morning while I was in the bath:

Him: Did you buy jam?

Me: Yes, its in the cupboard

Him: Which cupboard

Me: The food cupboard

Him: Where in the food cupboard

Me: Next to the fucking peanut butter!

Him: I only asked, you don't need to shout (facepalm)

Him: What flavour is it?

Me: Blackcurrant

Him: Aaah you know I like apricot.

If I had the fucking jam in my hand I would have thrown it at him!!

The other ongoing argument is about the toothpaste. He will not put it in the cup we have for holding toothbrushes and toothpaste as he says every time he takes it out the cup falls over... Not once has the cup fallen over when I remove the toothpaste. So he uses the toothpaste and then puts it on the side of the bath. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

stinkingbishop · 03/04/2014 13:20

God, don't get me started on the Sky planner...we lose whole weekends watching stuff we don't really want to watch that he's recorded because of his agitation when we drop below 50%...

MadameLeBean · 03/04/2014 13:23

Whether or not one is supposed to dilute masonry paint

There were tears (me) and flouncing (him)

doubleshotespresso · 03/04/2014 13:24

stinkingbishop I know. I really do not get it either. This is probably the only subject he gets so quickly animated about... And we have the entire series of the Sopranos on "keep" even though we have watched it hundreds of times over (whilst snoring grr!)

2 x episodes too many of. Masterchef and it is a major meltdown. Just why?

Stinklebell · 03/04/2014 13:31

Oh, we're partial to a Sky planner row too. DH gets a bit twitchy when it hits 75%

Last one was about what we should delete

the 3 series of Game of Thrones I've got stashed on there - no you fucking can't

or

about 6 months worth of Holby fucking City that he series-linked and never bloody watched

My stance was that he was unreasonable for recording Holby City in the first place, let alone suggesting it should be kept over GoT

PerpetualStudent · 03/04/2014 13:31

I once had an epic row with an ex-bf over what order to read the Naria books in. One of us said their 'chronological order' - i.e. from The Magician's Nephew to The Last Battle and the other said the order they were written in - i.e. starting with The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
The fact that I now can't remember which was my point of view probably says a lot. At the time it lead to utter screaming tears though...

motherinferior · 03/04/2014 13:36

It's the order they were written in! Anything else is just Wrong!

MadameLeBean · 03/04/2014 13:42

Oh yes and the time I went apeshit because he put ice in my white wine saying it was chavvy if I wanted a spritzer I would have made one (he was just irritating me, no idea why I was so shitty)

And we always always row about driving directions so that we have had sit down discussions about how to stop rowing in this scenario. Eg. Me: at the end of the road turn left. He carries on driving, "it wasn't the end of the road!" Cue huge argument about the size of the intersecting roads (it was a main crossroads, you don't just assume it's the same road on the other side!) so we had to do a massive loop and nearly broke up.

In Bruges - I stropped off because I had had to walk 2 miles to a cash point to get money for parking because he had refused to get cash before the holiday or on the way, despite me saying it would be necessary.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 03/04/2014 14:17

I love these.

Dh and I had an epic row in b&q years ago over two nearly identical shades of off white. Apparently one of them was 'too white'.

When we got home, he tried it on the wall and mournfully announced that it was white, 'As he had thought.'

They were BOTH bloody white! If his parents hadn't been there I would have murdered him, and relied on the smell of fresh paint to conceal the crime.

He also got grief recently for trying to read me a BBC news article I had already read. When I explained three times I had already read it, cutting across his attempts to read it to me, he called me unreasonable and said I just don't listen Grin

AlpacaPicnic · 03/04/2014 14:17

I ask him what the point of keeping cardboard boxes is for electrical things. He says 'in case I move I need to pack them properly'

You are never moving house. You live with your mother and don't earn enough to buy a house. You never borrow money for anything so won't get a mortgage. Having 25 years of cardboard boxes and polystyrene in your loft is a fire hazard. If you do move, the moving company will provide you with boxes to put things in.

Grr... I'm getting annoyed again just thinking about it.

BeCool · 03/04/2014 14:24

XP commented on a walk how lovely the "dome" of the Olympia Exhibition Centre was.

"It's an arch not a dome" I corrected "but yes it is beautiful".

It went on for hours - even after he knew I was clearly right.

halfwildlingwoman · 03/04/2014 14:25

We don't row, we sulk. Which isn't healthy. Although we -well I, did some ranting this week:
Me: I need to think of something to make with courgettes, we've still got loads.
DP: Well, as long as it's not that slimy pasta thing, I don't mind.
Me: I haven't made that pasta dish for 10 years and it wasn't slimy.
DP: Oh, I'm sure you've made it more recently than that.
Me: No, I haven't made it since before DS was born because you complained about it.
DP: Is that why you don't make it?
Me:Yes, because you whined about it!
This is descended into recriminations about how many culinary sacrifices we make for one another and me making the loathed pasta dish just for myself.
And there was the time I didn't immediately respond when he asked me where something was, in order to refrain from screaming "Where it always fucking is." He complained about the delay. I explained that he was about to find the item without my assistance and he called me psychotic.