Please remove your book from my knickers DS

[TheSkiingGardener]

said to my 11 month old who presented me with a book to read to him while I was on the loo.

Any other things you never, ever thought you would say?

That's not a duck, it's a packet of crisps. To DS 15 months.

No dd my nipples are not targets.

To 2.10yo dd while sharing a bath, we had some water pistols.

"No thank you darling I don't want you to keep me company while I have a poo."

"No FTR, mammy doesn't have a tail" (at top of voice in M&S) " of course you do mammy, let me see"

"No darling I'm not going to kiss your tail better"

"I don't understand, where are your trousers??!!??"

"Stop pulling my top down/up"

"Get your hands/head out of my top"

"No Charlie didn't do it!"
Charlie is a toy dog and thus, I believe, very unlikely to have covered the study floor in washing powder.

After telling dd to find her crawling brother in mothercare (hr had escaped whilst I was trying shoes on her)

Dd: I've got him mummy.
Me upon seeing them: lovely dd now would you get off your brothers back I asked you to find him not sit on him!!

Dd2 after KS2 sex ed. Whilst I'm driving...

Mummy how many times have you and daddy had sex?
Me erm I'm not sure I haven't counted...

Dd2 Well you have me and Dd1 so you must have had sex AT LEAST TWO TIMES accompanied by look of utter disgust!

Brilliant Thread btw

Was reminded of this thread earlier when I had to say.... "Um not sure if teddy needs a tampon up his jumper, not even as a magic wand"

Have only read the 1st page and I already have tears!!