Conflict with DH regarding my inheritance

[Handbaggez]

Good evening all,

my mum passed away and we are about to receive our inheritance from their estate. This will be split equally between me and my two brothers. I get on extremely well with both of my brothers.

I want to forgo my share of the inheritance and have it split between my two brothers. They have both had it harder than I have and neither of them own their own property yet. I have been fortunate to be able to buy my own and we are now mortgage free and fairly comfortable financially.

DH strongly disagrees and says that we have to take our share of the inheritance. He feels that it’s my brother’s responsibility to sort themselves out. I’m disappointed by his attitude and I still really want to help my brother’s out by allowing them to have my share of the inheritance.

WWYD??

I don't agree. As her husband it's his money as well e.g. if they were to divorce he would be entitled to a share of her inheritance. I would be annoyed too. It's up to her brothers to stand on their own two feet.

if, what , maybe.
Your married, you need to discuss it and come to a decision that both agree on. you could gift them the use of the money and have it back later into your estate.

Inheritance is disregarded in marital assets as long as it hasn’t been amalgamated at the point of divorce.

It can be added to the pot along with the matrimonial assets if the split of those assets majorly disadvantages the spouse who didn’t inherit.

It's a tricky one because technically your husband should get a say in it as you share assets and inheritance due to being married, however regardless of this, you naturally have more of a say in the matter than him as it's your mum's money.
Perhaps take the inheritance and keep it for now and then help out your brothers towards a deposit if and when they finally decide to buy a house or if there are any other times they could do with a gift of money. I think making big decisions when you are grieving is not a great idea so just stick to what was outlined in the will and then know that you can always use the money in various ways in the future

As others have said, it may or may not be included. However, prioritising her brothers instead of their marriage is outrageous. DH might even consider his position as a result. OP will not come back and tell us whether or not the brothers actually made their own hardship and OP their own fortune. If they still have it hard, the money might go down the drain in their hands anyway.

OP says she's "fairly comfortable financially", but will her children always enjoy this level of comfort? Will her grandchildren? I'd always prioritise my own line in this situation. The only exception might be if i knew that my parents had favoured my over my siblings in some way, eg maybe something like paid for private school fees for me but not them.

It's your inheritance to do with what you please. I'd maybe gift your brothers a small amount & put the rest in a high interest ISA or savings account. You never know what may happen in later life & you may need it for care home fees or private carers etc. If it's not used then assuming your Brothers are still alive when you go you could leave it to them in your will.

Key Considerations for Redirecting Inheritance:

• Deed of Variation: This legal document allows you to change how assets from a will or intestacy are distributed, often used to pass assets directly to another person, such as children, skipping your own estate for tax purposes.
• Tax Implications: If you accept the inheritance and then gift it, you may be liable for tax; however, a Deed of Variation can avoid this.
• Thresholds and Exemptions: In Ireland, gifts up to €3,000 per year are exempt from Capital Acquisitions Tax (CAT). Larger gifts may be subject to a 33% tax rate on the excess.
• Legal Advice: It is highly recommended to seek legal advice to ensure the transfer is valid and to understand the tax consequences for you and the recipient.
• Consent: You may need the consent of other beneficiaries or court approval depending on the circumstances.

Coming to this one a bit late - but how big are your pensions and investments (as in your own ones, not what your husband has amassed.) If you have contributed the lion’s share and are comfortable you can support you and your husband without this inheritance money, then I think your husband is being unreasonable.
If however it is mainly his doing and there’s a need to still build these pensions up for a comfortable retirement, I think he has a point.

Well at the end of the day it’s upto you

but I’m guessing the finical situation your in he’ll of made major contribution
so due to his hard work your rewarding your brothers

This. I would do it for my siblings. One if mine works in public sector (full time) and as a result has never earned as much as the rest of us, I often tell my mum and dad to give them a bit extra