Am so sad and miserable...

[beakas]

Came out of hospital just over a week ago now after going for a scan at 16 weeks and finding no heart beat. First baby for us, we tried for so long and I just feel like my heart is going to break. Have had days where I think I'm fine but there seem to be pregnant ladies EVERYWHERE! and that just sets me off again...maybe I came back to work too soon, I don't know. Have also been told am being made redundant at end of June. Everyhing is going wrong. Have a fabulous husband who is being great, and lots of support from family but I still feel so alone.I just can't believe it happened so late..thought once I had got the first 12 weeks over with it would all be ok...

Just mentioned the idea of supplements to dh - he looked at me like I'd suggested he fly to the moon. Get the feeling he's not going to be persuaded...

How's everyone doing this evening? I'm feeling tipsy after half a glass of wine (am a complete lightweight). Hope you're all okay x

afternoon all
thought i would take a break off yesterday n went to a friend's place.
how is everyone today?
my bleeding seems to calm down a bit and might finish completely maybe in 2-3 days time? btw one qn to anyone ..is it normal to have cramps/pains even after bleeding stops?

Hi Nandos- was wondering where you had gone!!

I think the cramping is normal- the uterus is a stretchy muscle and is prob pinging back into shape!

My bleeding is far worse today. literally gushing into the loo and very very clotty. My throat has swelled up which is usually a sign for me that I am anaemic so will speak to GP bout this on Monday. Have probs with anaemia so need to get it checked out. Am also in a lot of pain but am resting and chilling with a hot water bottle til it passes.

Shit!! have namechanged cos having a whinge elsewhere- its mummy2olivia here

lol re name m2o Sorry to hear about the bleeding, it's horrible when it's that heavy, I hope it slows down soon. Have you taken some painkillers?

Btw, how do you name change? I can't figure it out...

nandos, not sure about the cramping, mine stopped after the painkillers they gave me after the d&c. Sorry not to be of more help.

Hope you're all okay x

CM- go to my mumsnet and registration details. its there.

Have been having a moan about MIL on AYBU. Feel free to join in!!!

Mummy2O- I hope you are taking it easy today, young lady?! I found after the op that bleeding got worse the more active I was. I mean i wasn't down at the gym every day but if i did a supermarket shop or gardening etc. it got worse- and that still happens now. Without being weird part of me wants to just get it all out, over and done with...I thought the op would have cleared it all and I would only bleed for a week but ti's been a while now.
Haven't spoken to DH about taking supplements but I will. Zita West ones have to be taken 3 times a day, and I just can't see DH managing that TBH. Its all he can do to remember to eat lunch..like sound of vit E though. Only concern is that I end up taking too many pills and vits etc. so for next month or so I am taking the pre natal vit which comes with a bottle of omega fish oils or somesuch malarky..we shall see how that works out.
I am going away on Monday-don't forget me! Just need a few days rest, so DH has sorted it all out.Back on Friday. I will be thinking of you all though, and hope you are all ok. x

mummy2olivia for once i thought ' do i know her?' lol
btw sry to hear its bad bleeding today..
thx for answering my qn, its not that bad cramping but once a while it hurts.
after passing a lot of stuff on thurs night, my cramps/pains r lesser.
regarding the multi-vitamin tablets for now am taking Centrum(dont know if i spelt it right) instead of pregnacare. might change to that in a couple of weeks time.
beakas- will be missing u but do come back n chat with us ok ? n dont forget to rest well

i feel bloated nowadays and told a friend abt the prob. she said to use ginger skins and rub it on the tummy. i dont know if it works but its a cooling effect ..hope my tummy will goback to its original size

how r u feeling today charliesmum?

Beakas- am taking it easy but am popping out tonight for a couple of hours at a charity function. Will only be sitting down and will come straight back if I feel ill. or damp. promise!! Lucky you, going away!!! Have a lovely time and speak when you get back. The vit E does sound good doesnt it? I'm gonna take baby aspirin after this too- it cant do any harm and I will do anything not to go through this again. Will check with GP first on Monday though.

Nandos- Glad you are feeling a bit better. Not sure about ginger skins worth a try!

Charliesmum- thanks for your support on other thread. Am at the end of my tether with MIL!!

love to you all xxxxxx

re-abt your MIL M2O, i read your thread
some ppl are just insensitive..although they meant well.
next time if u get pregnant(finger's crossed), the last person u should tell is your MIL!
when i got pregnant, i didnt tell a certain group of ppl cos' i know they dont care n dont bother if i am or am not preg. and when i mc, i didnt even tell them(usual reason as above)
some ppl are like that M2O ..i dont know why but they r just mean.
btw if u r not feeling too good, try to cancel the func cos' u need a lot of rest cos' this mc thing is mentally n physically draining..
take care

Hello all, how are you doing? (Probably in bed bed by now but hopefully you'll read this in the morning...)

beakas, hope you have a lovely and peaceful time while you're away. Are you going somewhere nice? It'll be great to spend a bit of quality time witth your dh. Look forward to hearing from you when you get back.

nandos, how're your cramps? Have they eased up at all? Let us know whether the ginger skins work, it sounds very interesting!

m2o, how did this evening go? Did your bleeding stay under control? Hope that it went smoothly and mil bit her tongue.

I've been out this evening - was pschycing (sp?) myself up all day for it - was an annual golf dinner thing hosted by a friend that we didn't want to let down. Was doing fine for the first few minutes until friend's lovely wife came over and patted my stomach whilst saying 'aaaaahhh how are you?' I knew that they knew but hadn't been prepared for any sympathy - I burst into tears and ran to the loo . It was much more difficult than I anticipated. So glad I have another week off work...

We are off for the night tomorrow to a hotel in Brussels (courtesy of parents - v generous!). Am even getting to have a facial! They thought they'd give us something to look forward to bless them... So if I'm not around for the next couple of days you know where I am! Will be thinking of you and hoping you're all okay x

CM glad you managed to get through an evening and I get completely the sympathy thing setting off the tears.

Does anyone else find it hardest to deal with sympathy. I can deal with "I'm so sorry" as long as we can then move onto a new subject. Anything additional makes me burst into tears. DH has warned people but some of them just don't get it, they feel the need to gush.

Have now got my mum turning up this afternoon for two nights. Didn't have the heart to tell her that I preferred to be on my own so am now preparing for three days of pulling myself together so she doesn't worry about me!

Onto a possible TMI, how long did people carry on bleeding for? Am three weeks now after a medically managed MC and still bleeding lightly.

Beakas, have a good trip and look forward to having you back soon.

hello everyone ..
me n dh went out to a friend's house yesterday so could not chat on MN..
charliesmum, im sorry u cried at the dinner function its difficult to handle at times..
sometimes i welled up and say its alright and that it happens..but i try not to cry in front of them.
btw the cramps are bad but i guess its normal and some says its normal too cos' the uterus is trying to shrink back to its original size i presume.
sugr, right now have been bleeding for a week. and i thought at times its gonna stop soon cos' bleeding is very light in the morning but gets heavier at night..for me i think might drag for another wk before i see the sonographer for a check-up.
if im not wrong, the longer you are pregnant and miscarries, the longer it takes for the bleeding to stop.
did you go for another scan to see if everything is out yet? if you are really worried, do consult your GP or the midwife who helped you the last time..

Hi girls- just wondered if any of you are still checking the thread/ We got back a few hours ago. Was good to have a change of scene for a few days. Weird being back home, has dredged up old memories a bit.
Hope you're all feeling better physically than last time I checked in x

Hi beakas, yes am still checking, been away too and got back last night - how are you doing?

I'm feeling okay actually - I went back to see my parents and went to see my acupuncturist, who has made me feel so much brighter. Not sure what she's done, but I now just feel numb to what's happened - not sure whether that's better or not.

Did you have a good time away? I do hope so.

Hi Beakas and CM22. Hope your break went well. We are off on holiday in three weeks time and in ways I am dreading it as it was supposed to be the final holiday before the baby was due.

CM22, I also seem to have moved to the numb phase now. Can now manage to talk to people without crying. Makes you realise how crap the human body can be (losing our babies) and how brilliant it is (helping us to move on).

Am back to work on Tuesday after 4 weeks off. I just want the first day over with and all gushing sympathy done with. Don't know about you two but if I have another person telling me about miscarriages they have had (even my mum managed to come up with one I didn't know about!) I will scream. Mumsnet has been great because you can participate as much as you like and share stories and experiences but when people are talking to me and I can't escape I don't want to hear.

Anyway, my rant over for a Saturday morning .

Looking at the rainclouds rolling in over the fields, looks like a typical bank holiday weekend but at least it gets me out of the gardening!

Hi Sugr, isn't it funny how we can now talk without crying - makes me feel guilty, and that I should be crying about what's happened. I also wonder whether the person I'm talking to thinks I'm an unfeeling cow, but then if this is the way we can get through it then so be it...

Good luck on Tuesday, hope you manage to stay strong. I have the same on Monday after 3 weeks, slightly different coz a lot of people didn't know I was pregnant, but dreading it all the same. It's definately the sympathy that I'm worried about!

Hope you are having a restful day seeing as you can't do the gardening. If you're desperate you can do ours if you like - no rainclouds here

We did have a good time thanks, feels a bit wierd being back home though...I swept the sympathy cards up into a big pile and stuffed them in the bookcase when we got home, just decided it;s time to try and move on. Once I've got Tuesday out of the way I think I will feel better. It's my 30th birthday, but also should have been our 20 week scan.i knew it was a bad idea having a scan on my birthday, for this very reason, but hey ho, nothing we can do about it now. I just feel that once Tuesday is over we can start to move on (and then I think we will be booking a holiday for early October as that is when baby was due)
I hope you get on ok being back at work Sugr. I found it ok- just let people get on with saying what they wanted to say etc. some people took a few days and others jhaven't acknowledged it to this day, but that's their problem I guess. I will be thinking of you though, deep breaths, sweetie!
CM22- have been considering acupuncture myself, may look into it seeing as you recommend it.

Hi everyone.

Sorry I havent been here- I'm not neglecting you. Have been in hospital with bleeding and have been looking after myself and resting. The actual miscarriage was awful awful awful- happened on Monday and I'm still crying and shaking when I think about it.

I hope you are all ok guys- glad you are feeling a little better Beakas.

Sugr and CM- I am back to work on June 2nd, dreading it and after all thats gone on, not sure Il be up to it but if I dont go, when will I be up to it??

Did a pg test today on the advice of the hospital and looking at the line that came up, I am more pregnant than when I was pregnant

And after all that TTC talk- I've finally decided, no way!! its a mugs game and I am too shit scared to do it again

love to all xxxxxxxx

Hi mummy2olivia I've just seen your message in the Decemeber thread and it is really sweet of you to think of me. So I thought I'd post a message here. I'm doing ok, better today than yesterday when I was in bits and crying all day. The weirdest thing for me is that I am now feeling normal again as the hormones are leaving me and even wanted to drink wine with tea this evening which just made me cry again! There are reminders all over the house: the baby books, the bag of grapes I was munching like mad, the amount of cheese in the fridge. But I'm trying to be positive. It just wasn't meant to be this time around. It is great to be able to write on mumsnet about how I am feeling and read about everyone else and read their stories and about how they are feeling too . It really helps hugely, in an ironic sort of way.

Am glad you came and found us

How are you managing the MC Becky? Have you been sent away to do it naturally? or are you going back for a d+c?

xx

Hi m2o, just read about what happened on the AIBU thread - you poor thing. It sounds horrible, and must've been just awful to go through. What a star your husband is. How are you feeling physically now?

Try not to think about going to work yet, you have 2 weeks before you start back and hopefully you'll be feeling a little stronger by then. After what you've been through it's just as well you have that time, you must feel exhausted.

Hi Becky, glad you're feeling a bit better than yesterday. You must be a strong lady to be trying to think so positively about what's happened. It is reassuring to read about other people and to know that how you're feeling is normal. Don't know what I'd have done for the last few weeks without MN to be honest...

Hi CM!!

Hope you had a nice break.

Last 2 weeks have possibly been the worst of my life and think its about to get shitter....

Have just been to the loo and notice that the blood I am losing has a very bad smell about it- DH walked past the bathroom and could smell it. It smells like an abbatoir. What do I do? Is it normal to lose blood that smells like poo??!!!!

Have you any support?

Never experienced that myself, I think you should get in touch with the doctor. Can you do that during the weekend? Even if there isn't anything wrong (fingers crossed) then at least you will put your mind at rest. I feel so cross on your behalf life just isn't fair sometimes, and for something else to be possibly going wrong at the moment must just be horrendous for you.

You are amazing to be getting through all the awful things that've happened to you. Let me know how you get on if you get in touch with the doctor (or not), and I hope you're okay.

Big hugs ((((((()))))))