First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

@3204ECL yes, I then had a 28 day cycle, ovulating on day 15 (this has never happened before) then I fell pregnant on the next one. Ovulation was about day 24 and that's pretty normal for me. I guess I'm just scared of this being the norm for me now. It didn't matter when I wasn't trying to conceive. I now could kick myself for not using diet and supplements sooner. Having said that I have just had two miscarriages back to back so a wtf cycle is understandable and I know I shouldn't be hard on myself. Xx

@Catconfusion yes a WTF cycle is more than expected after what you've been through so fingers crossed that's exactly what it is. It's so easy to think about what you could have done differently, I've spent a lot of time wishing I'd tried sooner or had lost a bit of weight before trying or not had those glasses of wine on honeymoon etc but what will be will be and whilst it's hard, I think it's best to try and put that out of our minds and stay positive for the future. Much easier said than done especially with the daily reminders in the form of AF, hormones, temping, OPKs etc etc!!!

Have you been using sticks as well as temping? Do the sticks show anything before the temp drops? X

Thanks @3204ECL and I think you're right about not dwelling. I woke up yesterday panicking about alcohol I had when I didn't know I was pregnant. Even though it was before implantation and I'd had a negative test. Did you fall pregnant on your honeymoon as well? I felt so lucky for it to happen that way and although we weren't trying it felt perfect. I'm so sad it ended how it did but sadness won't help us achieve another pregnancy. I too wasn't at the best weight when I fell as we were on the Queen Mary 2 for our honeymoon and ate loads. The pregnancy also put a stone extra on me. I've lost a bit of it but it's so hard. I got a peak Opk on Thursday. Unfortunately with pcos you still get the surge even if o fails so Opk strips are unreliable. My Ovusense is really good though. It's gives a good picture of what's going on. Xx

Morning everyone! Wow there are so many wonderful ladies on this thread now - it is hard to keep up with all the news! It's really inspiring to hear all the different experiences of miscarriage and how we all made it through. A warm welcome to you @Indiekid82 and I'm so sorry for your loss. My mmc occurred on 8 February, just a few days before you. Valentines day was definitely ruined! It was also just three days before my mum's death from breast cancer the previous February and we were planning on naming the baby after her, so doubly hard. How are you feeling about the mmc now? I know what you and @Catconfusion mean about it being hard to write and finding it difficult to concentrate on work. I'm also trying to finish my dissertation through all of this and feeling a bit under stress at the moment.

@AnnaMC214 has the bleeding stopped yet? How many weeks post-mmc are you now? I completely related to what you said about not being able to control your own body. This is one of the most frustrating things about miscarriage. I'm now 9 weeks post-mmc and in the first half of my second cycle after the d&c. I do feel the hormones are leaving, but I guess I will know more this afternoon! Thanks for wishing me well on the test. Is your skin clearing up yet? Mine has finally started to get much better on this new antibiotic - would recommend it if you need something stronger to clear it up, like I did.

@Catconfusion thanks also for thinking of me today with the test results. Hoping they will have some news this afternoon. I can't believe you've had another drop again! This is insane. I think you have done all you can this month - it's really frustrating, but totally out of our control. My heart really goes out to you and hoping you are coping ok with the stress of it all. I am also nervously waiting for O to happen right now, my chart is attached. Oddly I don't have much EWCM this cycle at all, unlike last time, but there is a sharp temp drop going on that would seem to signal impending O. Will keep you posted tomorrow, it's also a bit early for me. Cycles definitely do change after mmc/mc! Thinking of you xxx

@Catconfusion yes we fell pregnant on our honeymoon as well! We felt so lucky as it was the first time we'd tried and just everything we'd dreamed of... sadly wasn't meant to be. In a strange way it gives me mixed feeling thinking back about our honeymoon. We had the most amazing time but it's now in some way linked to everything that's happened. We've agreed that one day when we have our babies we'll take them back there!

Ah that's so hard that you still get the peak on the stick, must be so hard to know what's going on. Glad the ovusense works well for you. X

@sadtoday21 thinking of you waiting for your test results. Got everything crossed for you x

I'm so sorry @3204ECL it really does make it bittersweet. Where did you go on honeymoon? Our honeymoon was amazing too after a very rainy wedding day which I was ill during. We're planning to hopefully renew our vows on the Queen Mary 2 and take our babies to New York in the future.

Yes Ovusense provides some clarity. It's also good at predicting Ovulation with a normal woman. With me it's more for confirming whether it's happened. I haven't gone beyond 8 weeks in many years so hopefully O will be this week. Though then there's my long LP to get through so probably another month until I can try again or know if we've caught. Xx

@Catconfusion we went skiing in Colorado for 3 weeks over Christmas and the New Year. It really was amazing but like you said a little bitter sweet in my memories at the moment. Renewing your vows on the trip to NY sounds like an amazing plan! The thought of going back there in the future is a lovely one and I don't know about you but for me gives me real hope and something very special to look forward to one day. X

@Catconfusion I know it's so hard but try not to despair yet. A long cycle this time doesn't mean it will carry on that way. Your body has been through a lot and from what others have said a wtf cycle is quite common.

@sadtoday21 yes it seems to have stopped. It's two weeks since my erpc so I guess O is possible but I haven't had any ewcm. I keep having mild pains on my left side which I can only describe as twinges like a tiny stitch but I've actually had them on and off for weeks even when I was pregnant. I don't know what to think anymore but in another week I'll do a test and go from there. My femometer arrived today so hopefully that will give me some insight too. Should I wait until af to start temping?

@AnnaMC214 glad to hear it has stopped. Definitely don't wait until AF to start temping - start right away (tomorrow morning)! If you start now, it will tell you when to expect O and when to expect your first AF, which helps a lot with the waiting period. Also sign up for FF and input the data from the femometer into the free app there - the charts are much better and will detect O automatically for you. Feel free to reach out if you have questions on it!

Oh wow @3204ECL that sounds like an amazing trip. It really does help to help to focus on things working out in the end.

@AnnaMC214 You're right and I know that logically. It's just so triggering having suffered with irregular cycles my whole life probably without ovulation a lot of the time. Then to find I am ovulating regularly and get pregnant twice. Then to go back to an irregular cycle without ovulation. It's just everything I feared about trying to conceive. Not getting much support from the GP doesn't help. I'm sure it'll be ok and it'll either happen soon or I'll get AF. It's just PCOS can really cut chances in half and I'm nearly 40. Xx

@sadtoday21 ok I'll start right away. Thank you so much for the advice. I also forgot to say that I'm so glad the antibiotics are helping your skin. Mine is perhaps starting to balance a bit in that I haven't had any new big painful bumps come up for a couple of days. It's also a bit on my chest and shoulders which is an added delight ☹️

@Catconfusion I know it must be so scary. Especially as when bad things happen your mind jumps to worst case scenarios that bit quicker. I'm so sorry you have all this extra worry. Sending lots of love and hugs xx

Thanks @AnnaMC214 I'm sure we'll be pregnant again and hopefully it won't take too long. Guess I need to focus more on what I can control more than anything. Xx

Well, still no test results today so I guess I have to wait until tomorrow now. The rational part of me knows that I should just think about something else and there is nothing I can do anyway, but the irrational part of me is desperate to find out! I'm quite scared about the results as I don't think I can face more blood/urine tests right now, or something worse like more hospitals and treatment. I just want to move on from this and start ttc again. Pregnancy and miscarriage is just one long waiting game.

@sadtoday21 do you know why there's a delay? Are they ringing you or are you ringing them? I've really had to chase these things in the past. I completely feel for you as I'm familiar with the hell of waiting for test results. Unfortunately the people responsible for getting the results to you often appear not to be! xx

Thanks @AnnaMC214 you are absolutely right - I always have to chase the doctors down for test results! I have been ringing them and was told to call back tomorrow. So we will see, just going to try to relax tonight as much as possible. Excited for your first temping experience tomorrow! xxx

@Amanda81 are you still waiting for AF? Any more temp drops today? Hope you are well!

@sadtoday21 I hope you get your results tomorrow!

I am now coming to the end of my latest AF and after two unsuccessful months want to try and catch this one!

Any opinions on the clear blue ov tests? I've not done anything apart from the apps before which don't really work for me due to long slightly irregular cycles! Xxxx

Sorry for the silence today ladies, up at the crack of dawn and only just got back home. You've all been busy, I've managed to catch up on most...

@Catconfusion - it's just so frustrating that your temps have gone down again! Argh! I bet you are totally miffed about this cycle 😤 it's odd as when you look at your chart for the past 5 days there is a gradual upwards trend, but today's temp just brings it down, although not as far as cd23 (not sure I am reading the days right). Perhaps this could the estrogen surge??? Let's see what tomorrow brings. Are you have anymore O signs? You mentioned that you had an 8 week cycle before your wedding due to stress, do you feel that you are stressed now? I don't think that will happen again this time, your body is clearly trying to produce the goods...it will happen. Fingers crossed for this week xx

Crappy about the test results @sadtoday21. If they don't give them tomorrow, I would certainly chase them as @AnnaMC214 has said. Your temps are looking positive. Looks like O is just around the corner. I take it you're not doing OPK's this cycle?

Good luck with the temping tomorrow @AnnaMC214. I wholeheartedly agree with @sadtoday21, it's clear indicator that AF is on the way.

My news today, is that there is no news (i think). I've attached my chart so that I don't have to go in to writing to much detail. Essentially it went down yesterday (fully expecting AF to arrive) and then went up a little today. Really not sure what to make of this cycle...Ive been having symptoms for the last five days (cramping, nausea, vivid dreams, excess saliva), but mentally I am parking these as hormonal (and not pregnancy). If the temps go up for the rest of the week i will test at the weekend, but am expecting AF to turn up prior to that. I think it is just the hormones playing with me after the MC. I think natural MC messes with your hormones so much more than surgical management. I'm actually quite scared to test. The last time I got a +HPT it was a faint line. If I was prefers again, and it was faint, I would naturally think it was doomed from the start. What do you guys think? Any words of wisdom? This is pure hell xx

Soz - wrong chart (that was yesterday's)

also meant to say, I am a day late - but this could be due to the MC.

Hello ladies.
@sadtoday21 sorry you've got to wait even longer for your results, the waiting is the worst part of this process isn't it.

@AnnaMC214 glad the bleeding has stopped now.

Thinking lots of positive thoughts for everyone.

I'm just at the hospital waiting to see the consultant after my follow up scan. Despite not passing any clots my scan was clear, and the lining looked normal. Such a relief. I had passed what looked like dark brown gritty bits (that weren't actually gritty) for the last week so it must have been that, just broken down rather than as a clot. I asked the sonographer to look at my ovaries again to see if I've ovulated but no signs of ovulation in either ovary and she says my lining isn't thick enough for implantation yet either. At least the tissue is gone though so hopefully my body can start to get back to normal now. And no more operations! Wondering how I can blag an extra day off work now as I really don't want to go back tomorrow, feel like I need to build myself up to it.

@Amanda81 your chart looks pretty positive!! I can understand why you would be reluctant to test, given what happened last cycle, but I think if you haven't had AF tomorrow or next day it might be a good idea. I've never seen a rise like that so late dpo, except for the pregnancy charts. You are right, I'm not doing OPKs this cycle, since no point really in wasting the money on them. I'm glad you think O is around the corner based on my chart, I think so too, although it's a bit earlier than usual for me and no EWCM to speak of. Will see what tomorrow brings for all of us!

@wanderlustgirl I've used clear blue ov tests twice and got pregnant both times. I would recommend them. The cheaper ones don't seem to work for me and never pick up the LH surge. When in doubt, go digital!

I think you right @sadtoday21 - I have Friday in mind for a test if AF not arrived by then. What's throwing me is that my LP is usually 11 days, and I'm beyond that now, but also think I may have O'd on cd17. Not telling DH any of this, so pleased that I have you guys to bounce off 😘😘

Great news @Birchwoods - so pleased that you have the all clear.

@wanderlustgirl - I also use the CB Adv OPK's- they've been bang on every cycle. I messed up on this cycle as I ran out of sticks and ordered one to arrive in time, which it did. But I stupidly binned the old applicator half through the cycle and used the new one...which I though at the time was the right thing to do. Afterwards I felt like a right muppet, and understood my very silly mistake...complete amateur!

@Amanda81 looks good to me but can totally understand how you must be feeling.

@wanderlustgirl I opened a box of CB digital OPKs about 10 minutes ago and just read the instructions as planning to start using them tomorrow! Never used them before but going to give them a try as I'm not too sure on my normal dates after MMC. I'll let you know how I get on! X

@3204ECL @Amanda81 @sadtoday21 amazing- I will order one tonight, where is there best place to buy them price wise? Xx