First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

@AnnaMC214 I'm so sorry you're still waiting and I can completely understand why it's affecting how you feel. Guys just don't understand the impact it has on us when our hormones are settling. I was in a very dark place during AF last time and it was a bit scary really. It will pass though. I just try and cling onto the fact that I often recover quickly from low moods. AF must be on the way any day now. After O the lining builds up and has to come away at some point. I guess it may take a bit longer after what you've been through but it will happen very soon. Thinking of you! Xx

Your chart is looking good @3204ECL and I hope O comes very soon! Xx

@Kiki061190 I'm so pleased it's looking like it all came away naturally. Hopefully you can try again very soon! Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion and glad to hear that work and your mood have both picked up lately! I am also on cd8 - so we really are cycle buddies!! I don't think I'll start the digital opks on Monday, just the temping (probably way too soon for me to O). I'm tracking the CM though, so I might start OPKs early if it picks up.

You have a nice array of supplements! Sounds like you have everything covered. Are you giving up alcohol and coffee as well now? I'm just doing pre-natals and EPO atm, but will probably add Omega in too. Just stopped my antibiotics for good today and will try to cut down a bit on the wine in the next week or so, but probably not coffee!

You are probably right about DH, I think he just needs to be pushed a long a bit. I'm feeling a bit anxious and excited about ttc myself, all at the same time. But I also feel it's out of my control and I need to just go with it.

Such a great idea on the blog @Sadtoday21 so much we have to share. Congratulations on getting the all clear!

Really pleased you’re feeling ok @Kiki061190

Oh @AnnaMC214 I completely get it, I don’t think I Od properly last cycle and was just praying for AF to arrive, hopefully it’ll be soon.

I’m still waiting for O too, still on a flashy smiley today and tonight is probably last chance to dtd before I go away so I have no idea if that’ll work or not 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s so hard with a toddler who keeps waking up and coming in to our bed the last week!

Hey @bananamonkey all you can do is get it in if you can. How long are you away for? I hope it stands you in with a good chance anyway! Xx

@sadtoday21 I'm starting early as I have the connected Opks. Also a box of 25 so figure I'll see how I get on. I've switched to decaf and I don't really drink alcohol any more. I had a wine last night for the first time in ages but I'll probably leave it now for a while.

I think I got some ewcm last night but I'm not sure if I just dreamt it. I was so tired before bed last night I'm not sure. Just woke up with this memory of getting ewcm. It probably was a dream as very early!

I'm sure DH will be fine. It's best to get trying for a baby with all the waiting it causes and I'm sure he appreciates that. It is scary though. We're no longer innocent to the complications. It will be worth it in the end when we all have healthy pregnancies. Xx

@AnnaMC214 so sorry about AF. Can totally understand why it's upsetting you and I've had similar arguments with DH. Hope you're ok and AF comes soon, sending love and hugs.

@sadtoday21 amazing you've got the all clear. How are you feeling about trying again this cycle? Good luck with the temping, I know what you mean about temping I fear it's starting to drive me a little crazy... might give it a rest for a bit if we aren't successful this cycle.

@Catconfusion glad work is creating a good distraction for you. I've been really busy with work as well and it's definitely helped distract me the last couple of weeks although I'm glad for a quiet weekend this weekend with DH being away!

Big fingers crossed for this cycle @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @bananamonkey 🤞🏼🥰 xxx

Hi everyone! Just wanted to share with you an amazing and heartbreaking post that @Kiki061190 has written on medical management! I think it's incredibly useful for anyone considering that option and it's given me a lot of insight as well, beyond my own experience with d&c.

Thanks @Kiki061190! Check out her inspiring post here: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/medical-management

Every time I think of trying again I think "wots the point I'm gonna lose it" I hav lost all faith in myself and I duno how to get it bk

@sadtoday21 thank you for sharing @Kiki061190 that made me cry you are so brave. Your going to be an amazing mum you are so strong. X

Awww thank you @Rainbow8bubbles that means a lot! 💗

@Kiki061190 that's beautifully written and your medical management must have been tough. You were so brave to go through it and to lose two babies must have been horrendous. Thank you for sharing! It's just so unfair we all find ourselves here.

@Rainbow8bubbles I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've been doing a lot better with work stuff this week but I can't help but think what's the point to a lot of things in my life. I've also become petrified of my dog dying. He's a 12 year old Lab cross Dalmatian and he means the world to me. Until I met DH it was me and him against the world. He's in good health but it's difficult to tell how long a dog will live in old age.

Now I've lost two pregnancies I'm scared of what else I might lose.

Mmc stirs up so many emotions. I just think it takes time to cope with life again after such a traumatic loss! Xx

@bananamonkey it looks like you are really close to O, so fingers crossed that dtd today will be enough!! I have everything crossed for you for a bfp this month!

@Catconfusion that's really interesting about the EWCM - I also think my CM is starting a bit earlier than usual. I noticed a bit this morning too, but it's way too early for me to O. I wonder if it is the EPO that is increasing it? Sorry to hear that you feel more anxious about loss and your dog after the mmc, that sounds completely normal to me - and it sounds like he has been a good companion for a long time! I am at once more anxious and somewhat resigned to loss at this point (although I know that's not really true). Thanks also for your advice on DH, I'm going to try for a trial run tonight, so to speak! I don't want put too much pressure on him this month though - any thoughts on this?

@3204ECL thanks for asking after me! I'm feeling nervous and excited! How are you doing? What cd are you on now?

@Rainbow8bubbles I totally understand what you mean about losing faith - I feel like this too. I don't know what the point is really - I just know that I want to be a mum someday and so I have to keep trying, no matter how hard it hurts. Sending you hugs!

@sadtoday21 I'm on CD13. Had some twinges this afternoon so decided to do another test and got my solid smiley this evening. Sadly DH is now away but hopefully DTD this morning was quite well timed 🤞🏼

Dreading the tww now to be honest but I'm away for work next week and then got a long weekend away with friends so hopefully should go quite quickly. Understand the nerves, definitely something I have and am still feeling! When are you hoping for o? xxx

Oh that’s great @3204ECL! Congrats on O so getting the bding timed so perfectly! Are you temping to confirm O? The earliest I have O’d yet is cd19, so I guess I have 10-11 days to go, which is frustrating! Good luck with the tww and I hope it goes quickly for you!

@sadtoday21 yes I'm still temping but my temps have been a bit higher than normal this week due to a cold so not quite sure what will happen now! Hopefully get a rise from tomorrow but we'll wait and see! Hope you get on ok with the OPKs from Monday and fingers crossed for O in the next 10 days. xxx

Hey @sadtoday21 I honestly think I dreamt about the ewcm as nothing since. Ttc is clearly driving me mad. I guess just try and be natural around DH and not force anything. Ideally don't tell him what's going on with your cycle. My DH is so patient with me so I tell him everything. This cycle I'm trying to dtd for fun, even when I get a peak. I think they just like to feel it's not all about ttc. Xx

@3204ECL good news about the peak and hopefully a rise for you today or tomorrow. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion how are you doing? I like what you said in your post to @sadtoday21 it can so quickly become all about TTC and it can easily take all the fun out of DTD which I think DH's find hard! xxx

Hey @3204ECL I'm ok thanks today. I ended up drinking to much wine last night which isn't like me. I'm just so easily triggered. We were clearing out some wedding stuff and I got upset we're starting married life like this with grief and loss. The wine helped but my stomach didn't like it this morning as I've not really drunk since before the first pregnancy! I'm going to go back to abstaining I think! How were your temps today? Xx

@Catconfusion so easily done when triggered. I feel the same way about starting married life in such a horrible way. It's so sad and just not how we ever envisaged it. Small rise this morning! xxx

@3204ECL it's just like your worst nightmare coming true. It's certainly a test for even the best relationship. My DH has been amazing so I definitely made the right choice. I just hope we have better luck now! I hope you do too!

Your chart looks great. Hopefully O will be confirmed now so the pressure will be off a bit! Xx

Morning all, sorry for the lack of posting, had a crazy week at work and have just been trying to get my head around all this temping.

I think it's going well...FF confirmed O for me on cd 13, so that was a relief as the cheapie OPK's weren't very reliable (well I don't think anyway). I also started using them the two days after cd 13 so perhaps I had missed it? I'm now in the TWW club and trying to stay as relaxed and calm about it all as possible. Had a really positive appt with the GP in the week so was so understanding and reassured me that everything is in working order and just to try to relax and let my body do what it needs to. So that's what I'm hoping to do.

I feel DP and I have really reconnected since the mmc and he has been so so kind and patient with me and never pushed me to feel anything other than what's natural and in my own time too. We have been enjoying dtd and trying to make the most of life. Of course some days it's easier than others and I do definitely still get the waves of grief and sadness, especially as July is around the corner now 😔 but I'm lucky that I have DP to help pick me up and keep me focused on the nice things in life.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I'll attach my chart for anyone interested - would be great to get an expert's opinion as I know all your ladies who are temping are so knowledgeable and helpful with understanding these dots and lines!

Thank you all in advance. Hope you all have a lovely Sunday xxx

Of course I forgot to actually attach it to my last post...still half asleep I think! Anyway, here it is xxx