First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

@3204ECL oh wow I've never seen one of them before. Is that a CB app? Yes it makes sense you are gearing up now.

I'm just so fed up after this very difficult cycle so will try anything to sort my body out. It's interesting how much better my mood is and how my temps have lowered after two days. I can have a few squares of dark chocolate so all is not lost with regards to Easter! Xx

@Catconfusion - I've read a little about PCOS diet and it does seem like it helps some ladies. I really hope it helps with you, and your DH sounds amazing with helping you with it. I certainly think it is worth the try. It's a big drop you've had today! Sounds promising! Wishing you lots and lots of luck that's it's O, but like you say if it is AF you can reset. Xx

I've heard that some women can o during AF @3204ECL - is it a small amount of spotting? Is it brown spotting? Xx

@Catconfusion it's just a free app called cycles which I've used for years to record/predict AF and I've personally always found to be very helpful and we used it when trying first time which was clearly a success!

Amazing that you're feeling the benefits already. I've been eating really well in the main and I must admit it does make you feel much better. Lots of fish and veg for me and I've been trying to take breakfast and lunch to work as well to avoid having anything too bad! Easter eggs however have been my downfall, especially since AF arrived 🤦🏽‍♀️

Fingers crossed for you that this cycle is nearly over and your next cycle is a bit clearer and bring o xxx

Hi @Amanda81 yes a small amount of brown spotting since yesterday morning x

I got another one of these today ladies...really not sure what to think about it...I know it's supposed to be great news, but the recent early loss has put be in a tentative mode. I hope this is the sticky one...if it does stick my due date would be Christmas Day xx

@Amanda81 this is wonderful news 🤗. I can totally understand your mixed feelings, I'm sure I will feel exactly the same, but try to stay positive. How many days late are you now? X

@3204ECL brown spotting is old blood, so could be just sleeping out slowly from your cervix. do you check your cervix? If you do, is it open? I had brown spotting after my first few cycles, before AF (not after), but it was certainly a change from the usual. It gradually reduced, but did get me worrying. I did quite a bit of research and apparently some women do have spotting after pregnancy. I started taking vit B complex to help with this, but not had chance to see if it has helped reduce my spotting as I've had BFPs in the last two cycles. Xx

Oh wow @Amanda81 that's amazing news. I had a feeling from your chart this would come. I can completely understand you have mixed feelings but its a completely different pregnancy. We're here to support you through it as you're bound to feel anxious. Xx

@3204ECL based upon my 28 day cycle I'm late by a couple of days, but not quite sure when to start the lmp due to the MC last month. Reading my cycle, and previous patterns, I think I am two days behind. So approx 13dpo (based upon my estimates). FF has me at 15pdo, xx

Feeling very anxious @Catconfusion - I'm just going to have to ride it out and see what happens. I'm determined not to let the anxiety take over, and will just keep myself busy in the attempt to keep the fear at bay. Xx

Yes @Amanda81 just keep busy. You seem good at finding things to do so hopefully lots to occupy you. Just be gentle with yourself when you are feeling anxious. It's completely normal and just breath it out. I'm so happy for you! 🙂 Xx

Fantastic @Amanda81! Understand the mixed feelings and being cautiously optimistic but we’re all rooting for you x x

Thanks @bananamonkey xx

@Amanda81 positive and calming vibes your way my love ❤️ amazing news! Xx

@Catconfusion really sorry about your cycle and you as well @3204ECL. It turns out mine is messed up as well after the early mc, I had another huge temp drop this morning so no O yet and really erratic temps. Not sure what is going on. Errgh was hoping for a rise and not a wtf cycle!!!

@Amanda81 sorry, just saw your post! I knew it!!! Massive congratulations 🎊🍾🎉. Completely understand the anxiety but I have a really good feeling about this one. So happy for you!

@Amanda81 I'm so so happy for you!! I can completely imagine how you must be feeling but just try to remember that what's happened before has absolutely no bearing on this pregnancy. We're all here for you xx

@Catconfusion I'm so glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. I hope your temp drop is a sign your time in limbo is finally over.

I'm doing ok thank you. I think the wedding invite just reminded me how hard it still is to see people. We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant or about the miscarriage so it means I have to put on this huge pretence. I only have my dh and you guys to talk to. On the bright side I feel like my hormones might be levelling a bit. I'm hoping for a negative test on Monday. I'm not sure temping is going to work that well for me though. Both mornings so far I've slept really badly. I've heard doing it vaginally is less affected by things like that but I'm not sure you can do that with femometer.

Oh no @sadtoday21 I'm sorry. That doesn't help with all the stress you've been under. I think a WTF is very common after two losses back to back. It might just take a bit longer for a rise but don't lose hope. I'm viewing it as my body asking for a break so I'm honouring it and taking the pressure off myself. Feel free to share your chart. Xx

Thanks @AnnaMC214 I'm hoping my body will gear up again and the drop is a reset. On my first cycle temping I ovulated on day 34 so still time. I'm convinced the drop may be the diet. I've never had a temp so low. It's a sign of stable hormones so makes sense with feeling better.

I understand how hard social situations are. My friends know but even then it's tough as so many people at our age are pregnant or have their families. We feel like such a minority at nearly 40 being childless.

I hope it doesn't feel too awkward at the wedding but I can imagine it's playing on your mind. Do you feel like you could maybe tell someone if they ask? Maybe even just a close friend. It's a very traumatic life event to go through alone and I'm sure people will understand. I was at a party the week of my chemical and a lovely lady I told who I didn't know told me she knew of 6 other ladies in the room who'd been through something similar. It really helped me not feel like an outcast. It's so easy at events with kids running around to feel like a failure when actually it's just bad luck and nothing you did wrong. If someone you tell is awkward it's their problem not yours. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion! I think you are totally right about honouring your body and letting it do what it needs to do. Like you, I also O a bit later and I still have time, definitely not out yet this cycle. Just was surprised to see such a sharp temp drop and it's also really low today. Is that really a sign of stabilising hormones? Had not heard this before, but very interesting. My chart is attached - you can see the huge drop down today, but I usually O on CD19 anyway, so not out of the running yet (not that it really matters this cycle). DH is too afraid to dtd until we get the all clear from CX, even with the proper precautions, so it's feeling like a very long 2 months over here :/.

@AnnaMC214 Sorry to hear about the wedding and I agree with cat that it helps to tell someone. Our family knew, my two closest friends, and I also told some people at work. It helps to acknowledge the loss in a way. To answer your question, no you cannot use the femometer vaginally (that is Ovusense, the one that cat uses). Have you tried taking the temps yet? I find that my sleeping habits, drinking, illness, etc. doesn't actually effect the temps that much, but it does for some women. I just take it every day when I wake up, but you can also set an alarm and then go back to sleep after. Once you have done it 2-3 times it gets easier.

@sadtoday21 yes if temps are low and smooth it's a good sign ready for that LH surge. It does look like you've had a hormonal fluctuation which is understandable. Mine was like that this time. You could definitely still ovulate on schedule. I really hope you do. I know it's bitter sweet as you can't try but it's good to know your body is doing its thing. Xx

@AnnaMC214 Ovusense is amazing. My husband is up at the crack of dawn so my sleep gets disrupted. With this I upload when I'm awake. It's really accurate as core temperature. There's a 20% off code at the moment but it's a little pricey. It's been well worth it for me! Xx

@Catconfusion it's a bit complicated but the only person I feel I could really tell is my closest friend but she lives far away now and I don't get to see her much. My dh is adamant he doesn't want to tell his side and I'm not very close to my family. I also feel like it would be telling people we're ttc which puts even more pressure on it.

@sadtoday21 you can use some basic bbt thermometers vaginally as long as you remember not to use them orally again! I think I'll just see how it goes and whether a pattern emerges or not. Hopefully I'll be like you and it won't effect it too much but today's temp was .42 higher than yesterday's which seems like a lot.

@AnnaMC214 ok that's understandable then. You're right it does then let people know you're trying too and if you're not ready to share that it's fair enough. You have us and I know we're essentially strangers but we'll do all we can to help you! Xx