First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

@Amanda81 I can totally understand why you are sceptical but I'm following your updates with great interest 😉 I wouldn't worry too much about line strength. There are too many variables for that to tell you much I think.

@Birchwoods I'm so glad to hear it was good news from your scan. It must be such a relief.

@wanderlustgirl boots currently have money off and they had an extra points voucher when I got mine! You have to start using them earlier than you might think so definitely order them tonight! X

Oh no @sadtoday21 I'm really sorry. That simply sucks. I hope you can get them tomorrow with no problems! Xx

@wanderlustgirl I've never used c b opk. I have pcos so they can be misleading. I learnt my lesson last week when I got a peak Opk and then failed ovulation. Good luck with them if you try. Xx

@Amanda81 Your chart is definitely looking good with that move upwards. I like your attitude as well. You're keeping level headed which is so hard. . I hope you get some good news. I completely get why you're nervous about taking a test but I think you're right to wait until the weekend. Remember this is a completely different scenario so unlikely to go the same way.

I know right!? My chart just keeps messing with me. Definitely an upward trend and then a drop. I can't help but think the peak Opk was wrong. I'd heard they're not good with pcos but was sure I'd proven that theory wrong with such a strong peak. Maybe tomorrow it'll shoot up and it was an oestrogen surge. I've been feeling better this week, not particularly stressed. It's not like before my wedding when it was all systems go. There were definitely ovulation pains over the weekend. I guess tomorrow will tell. If not maybe attempt number 3 will be successful. I've been pretty down today so I'm planning to not let it affect me so much as I've not got much done. Xx

@Birchwoods I'm so pleased the scan was clear. Such good news for you. I'd definitely take that extra day to recover from all the worry. Xx

Good luck @3204ECL with the opks. Let us know how it goes! Xx

@Amanda81 was also going to say I agree that an early loss seems to have a bigger impact on hormones than a mmc at 12 weeks. I wonder if it's because that was a well established pregnancy. With an early loss the body is just gearing up to support the pregnancy. I wonder if that's why it has a WTF period of time where hormones need to reestablish themselves back to normal. Xx

@Birchwoods so happy that your scan was clear and you are on the road to recovery!! Hope you get that time off.

@Catconfusion hope you have some answers on the O front tomorrow morning! It's interesting how everyone's hormones are different - I personally had a much worse time with the hormones with the 12 week loss than with the early loss. In every way, the 12 week mmc was a lot more difficult for me, but maybe that had something to do with high hormone levels from the molar (not sure since they were never tested before). Although the cycle is not done yet, so we will see! Fingers crossed for an O rise tomorrow for both of us! xxx

@sadtoday21 unfortunately another failed ovulation. I'm just gonna have to chalk it up as a wtf cycle and stay positive about next time. I let it get to me far too much yesterday and went to a really dark place again.

Good luck for the test results today. I hope you have no more problems getting them. Hopefully they'll be clear so you can get on with ttc. It's a waiting game for most of us but more so for you. Just so unfair and frustrating.

I think hormones are so complicated and individual. It's so difficult to separate out normal feelings and emotions from a hormonal response. I generally felt far worse after the mmc but for me felt more a response to the trauma. My chart was smooth and body kicked back in easily. This time my chart has been all over the place and my feelings at times have been irrational.

It probably does take at least several months to get back to whatever normal is for anyone. Xx

My chart...

@cat I'm so sorry... bloody hormones! Hope you feel a little better today and have some nice things to look forward to over the Easter weekend not least chocolate and wine! Thinking of you x

@sadtoday21 also thinking of you and hoping for good test results. X

So bloody frustrating @Catconfusion it just doesn't want to give...when it does give you may get a couple of eggs pop...a bit like when popcorn is overdone and starts popping out all over your kitchen. I really hope you get O over Easter 🐣...sending you lots of positive vibes and I might even do an egg-dance for you.

I'm with you on the response to the MC's. MMC and Erpc certainly was very traumatic and emotionally upending, yet my body sprung back in to action very quickly. Whereas the recent early MC I was able to pick myself up pretty quickly and didn't have too much of an emotional response to it.

Happy Wednesday to all...only 1 more sleep to the long weekend everyone! Sounds a bit sad, but I'm jet washing my patio and regrouting it on Friday and it's got me all excited 😆 xx

Fingers crossed for good test results today @sadtoday21. Give them hell if they try to fob you off xx

Thanks @3204ECL and @amanda81 it's rubbish but trying to be positive. It's almost like my body is asking for a break and I don't blame it so just going to quit the temping and try and relax. Will have a sneaky peak for EWCM but nothing more than that. Not sure about dtd every other day but I'll see how we both feel. DH has his sperm analysis next Tuesday so we can't dtd between Saturday night and Tuesday night. It would be Sod's law if I ovulate on Tuesday.

On the cycle I fell pregnant first time on I couldn't use Ovusense properly as we were away and we didn't particularly think about when we dtd. It still happened so I think considering the affect temping is now having on my mental health it's worth leaving it for this cycle. I can always use it in a weeks time to see if my temps have gone up. Xx

@Catconfusion - that sounds like a good plan. Although I have been tracking this cycle, we haven't been actively trying and it's been nice to have the weight lifted. Good news that the SA is happening soon, when do you get the results back? Xx

@Catconfusion ah so frustrating for you that still no O! I think it definitely sounds like a break from temping would do you good if you think it's stressing you out too much.

@sadtoday21 I really hope you get your results today and that it's good news.

We received a wedding invite this morning and it broke me a little bit. The date would have been only a week or so before the baby was due. That's two weddings this year that I have to go to where I would have been pregnant and now I won't be. It would have been so exciting to see everyone and have a big bump. My mind is full of what could have been again.

@Amanda81 I can imagine it's been nice to alleviate some of the stress, especially with the WTFness of our cycles this time.

If I wasn't turning 40 soon and had shorter cycles I'd have done the same. Every attempt takes 6-8 weeks with my long LP and late ovulation. I'm going to focus on looking for EWCM as I haven't noticed any this time despite the peak LH test. Last time it was abundantly there and sure enough I ovulated. It's seemed the only reliable sign so far for me.

The NHS sperm analysis comes back after a week so I'll schedule a doctors appointment DH and I can both go to. I definitely want a CD 3 hormone blood test.

Thanks @AnnaMC214 Very frustrating but just how it is. I refuse to let it break me.

I'm sorry to hear the wedding invite was triggering. I can understand why with the date being when it is. We have a wedding too next weekend and I'd already looked into maternity dresses for it when I was pregnant. It's so bittersweet going to occasions like this not pregnant. On the one hand being able to celebrate with the couple without the tiredness and nausea plus being able to drink. Yet another social situation without that bump you envisioned having and so dearly wanted. Also we get lots of questions about when we'll start a family as we're newly weds which is difficult. Xx

I found this on Instagram and thought it very apt...

Thanks @AnnaMC214 @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @3204ECL for wishing me luck on the test results today! Hopefully will have some news later this afternoon.

@AnnaMC214 I'm so sorry the wedding was triggering, that is very understandable. I will feel the same way if I am not pregnant again by August. Just realised my friend's due date is next month as well and I still haven't been able to reconnect with her since the mmc. I feel a bit guilty about this, but also a bit angry tbh since she hasn't checked up on my once since the mmc/mc and wasn't overly sympathetic at the time. i love the instagram photo @Catconfusion, that is very true! I will definitely tell people I've had an mmc if they ask when we are going to have kids again. Even if I barely know them and it makes people uncomfortable, it's just too rude to ask without thinking! Next family gathering could be interesting haha.

@Amanda81 any news on the temping/AF front? Still going up? I've got everything crossed for you for the weekend! That would be such a nice surprise for the holiday. FF is having a sale (90 days vip for price of 30), do you think it is worth upgrading to the vip version? I've used a trial of it once, but still on the fence about it.

@Catconfusion I'm sorry you are still in limbo, but I think it is a good idea to put the temping down for now and take a break. As you've said before, sometimes these things happen when you least expect them. I understand your anxiety though with your long cycles and limited time. I wish women could be fertile well into there 50s, so we wouldn't feel this added time pressure. It just makes everything worse.

What do you guys think about my chart today? It looks like a large temp rise, but I haven't had an EWCM, even though I had loads last time after the mmc. I'm a bit baffled and thinking you may be right @Catconfusion that the cycle is a bit weird, even though the temps look nice. I finally woke up this morning with completely clear skin!! I am so happy to be back to normal, there are no words. I feel like this could be finally signaling the end of the mmc, but I am reluctant to think that before I get the test results in case it is another crushing disappointment. I am a pessimist at heart really. Also, do you guys feel the mmc has changed your metabolism?

Wow @sadtoday21 that looks like O to me. Keep temping and see what you get tomorrow but looking very promising.

Yes my metabolism has changed. I still haven't lost the stone I put on in pregnancy. It feels horrible. I'm trying to be more active but on days when I'm down it's so hard. I'm two and half stone heavier than when I got together with DH so just over a year ago. He loves cooking and to be fair I was under weight then. Now my bmi is 28. I've also felt constantly bloated but could be the ibs although that's cleared up now.

Keep us posted on the test results and fingers crossed it's good news! Xx

@Catconfusion yes that pic is very fitting! When we first got married we had loads of inappropriate questions about when we'd have children and it really annoyed me even then. Now it's starting to feel like a big elephant in the room. When my dh got a new job and told his step mum he had good news she burst into tears assuming we were pregnant!

@sadtoday21 I actually found that being pregnant affected my metabolism and I could eat whatever I wanted which was lucky as I was ravenous and felt sick if I went too long without eating. Unfortunately the effect has worn off now.

Thanks @Catconfusion, I certainly hope so! Do you feel the metabolism change is permanent or just a result of leftover hormones from the more recent mc? Sorry you are having trouble getting active when feeling down - that is exactly the same for me! I've been trying to go an a cleanse for awhile now, but I have a lot less willpower than before the mmc.

@AnnaMC214 that was the same for me, I usually have a slow metabolism and diet/workout a lot to stay slim. I was always envious of those girls who can eat whatever they want! During pregnancy though, I could eat anything and was still losing weight. I'm sure the effect would have worn off after awhile, but even at 12 weeks my metabolism felt a lot faster than usual. This was the one good side effect! Also felt everything kind of shifted from legs/butt to hips/stomach area, which is very unusual for me.

Maybe it's hormones left over from the recent mc, but I'm still eating pretty terribly and my body is not responding the way it usually would, still losing the weight and not gaining back any muscle lost from before. I've started to get back into working out, but still feel too fragile to really go on any kind of cleanse or diet (beyond a diet of crisps and wine!). I just wondered whether this metabolism change was permanent or just another sign of leftover hormones.

Ah I’m glad I’m not the only one, I’m half a stone heavier than before Christmas and have been really rubbish at shifting it but I only have 3 weeks till I’m a bridesmaid so I’m back on it this week!

Great news from your scan @Birchwoods that must be such a relief.

I'm not sure @sadtoday21 I was about a stone lighter than this before my wedding and tried to lose weight but couldn't. I was dieting and exercising but couldn't really shift it. Dare I say it could also be my age. Also being happy with DH. I was super skinny when I was single then it piled on when we got together. I know I need to lose at least a stone so I'm hoping the new diet I'm doing for my pcos will help. X

@bananamonkey it's so hard. I hope you get there before the wedding. I wish I'd tried harder before my wedding. I ended up feeling uncomfortable in my dress though typically my period was coming and I bloated out. Also had a head cold and it rained all day. We were not lucky at all. Another reason why the pregnancy was so special then that wasn't to be. I did have an amazing honeymoon though! Xx

Just called CX and apparently the hospital has somehow lost my samples and I have to do them all over again! It will take a few days to get the kit again in the mail and go back to the doctor to do bloods, particularly since it is a holiday weekend and I'm going on vacation. I'm really beyond frustrated at this point and just wanted to break down in tears when she told me the samples were lost.

Oh no @sadtoday21 that's awful news. Really irresponsible for bloods to get lost in the system. It annoys me so much. Years ago my Dads blood got lost the week before a heart attack that could have been prevented.

Horrible as well with Easter coming and your holiday. I know it's incredibly tough but try not to let it push you down again. You're doing so well and your charts are looking great so hopefully will be good news when they come back.

Have they offered to put a rush on it to get the results quicker? Could you go to the hospital for the bloods to be done? Xx

@sadtoday21 oh my god I'm so sorry, that's just awful! That's so bad of them to lose them and I can't understand why they didn't know that before now. I hope you can get it sorted out quickly. They should fast track it this time as way of an apology! Sending lots of hugs xx

Oh how shit @sadtoday21 I’m so sorry, is there anything that can be done to get them processed earlier?

I’m sure you still had a fab day @Catconfusion and looked beautiful! I’m 5’8” and a size 12 so not super huge but will be the biggest bridesmaid anyway so feeling self-conscious, need to slap on some fake tan! And feeling sad I bought an extra dress in a size bigger as I thought I’d have to accommodate a bump that I’m now having to flog on eBay.