First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

@3204ECL your chart looks amazing! Fingers crossed for a bfp this month!!!

@Catconfusion maybe I dreamed up the ewcm too haha! Nothing further today. Thanks for your advice, I agree with you completely on the DH issue! It's just hard sometimes because I feel honestly we aren't asking that much of them and it puts pressure on me too! I try to relax about ttc, but I really can't. I'm a very goal-oriented person and once I have something in my mind...it's just hard for me to be low key about it. And all I can think about is how many months I might be at this time, etc., it's shocking how much I want this now when I was really somewhat ambivalent about it before. This is what mmc does to you I guess.

wow @LMLP91 lots of ewcm and lots of bding - it looks very promising! You have a clear temp rise and O on cd13 - definitely the opks won't work after O, so you probably just started using them a bit too late. Best of luck for the tww!!! When are you planning to test? xxx

@sadtoday21 yes I think it is the mmc. We've just gone so far down the pregnancy road it's the only thing that makes sense. I wish it wasn't like that and we could go back to being casual about it. We weren't even trying the first time so no pressure at all. I guess just stay in the moment as much as you can. I keep thinking about how sad I'll be if it doesn't happen before my birthday or our original due date but I know it'll happen when it'll happen and I need to stop waiting but it's so hard! Xx

@sadtoday21 thank you for casting your expert eye! Yes I seemed to have a lot of ewcm straight after AF which lasted for a while...it's tapered off now though. DP and I certainly enjoyed ourselves this month! And still intend to lol! Not sure when/if I'd test before AF is due. I'm inclined to wait and see if she shows up and if not then go from there. Knowing how poas for an OPK made me feel, not sure emotionally if I could do it again for a negative result. Does that make sense?

How are you feeling? When will you start the BD? How's your DH feeling about starting again now? Xxx

@LMLP91 that makes perfect sense! It sounds like you and your DH have a good rhythm going on. I definitely understand not wanting to sees bfn - it’s the worst feeling! But I also find it hard to resist testing early, no matter how hard I try. I started the bding last night,even though only on cd8. I feel like I might O earlier this month (wishful thinking?) as the CM seems to have started a bit earlier. I’m definitely finding it hard to be low key, as @catconfusion said it’s just so different after mmc. We talked a bit about how scared we both are this month and that was good to communicate a bit more. It’s hard to try again and get your hopes up. I really don’t think I have the strength to go through another mmc yet. But anyway, mostly I just need to stop wishing time away until I am pregnant again. Easier said than done!

I'm back at work Tuesday after three weeks off and I'm so nervous. I keep thinking people are gonna be talking about me and judging me for losing the baby

I'm sorry you're feeling this way @Rainbow8bubbles but it's really none of their business. You did nothing wrong and if they think that way they clearly don't understand how miscarriages work! Xx

Good morning and happy Monday ladies or should I say happy GOT day. Just so you know I watched it at 2am and it was excellent in my opinion.

How are we all doing today? I'm so excited and nervous for you @Amanda81 I have everything crossed all is ok tomorrow! Xx

So I've been temping since Friday and I have a lovely smooth decent hopefully towards ovulation. The new Ovusense app is working well and although it says my fertile windows won't be until the 7th June I have a feeling it's coming sooner. Not sure why. Definitely no nasty hormone spikes like last month which is a good sign.

I used my CB connected today and got low fertility as expected. I have to say I'm really impressed with how these ones work. I'm looking forward to having some warning of O this time round.

Still no word on DHs SA. The sample was taken a month ago so it's not on we've had to wait so long when they've had the results for several weeks. Hopefully tomorrow we'll get them!

Anyway I'm so much more chilled at the moment about the trying and looking forward to having a bit more fun with DH now the hormones are more settled! Xx

@Rainbow8bubbles absolutely no one will judge you and if they do, they are terrible people, ignore them! I hope your first day back at work goes well tomorrow, let us know how you get on!

@Catconfusion congrats on making it to cd10! It feels like things are finally going to start happening again, doesn't it? I'm also on cd10 and started temping this am - still around the coverline, but like you, I also have a good feeling that the hormones have balanced and I am going to O earlier this month. Let's hope we both do! Sorry to hear they still haven't found DH's sample, but glad you are both in a good place right now and looking forward to ttc!

@Amanda81 good luck for the scan tomorrow! I have everything crossed for you xxx.

Thanks @Catconfusion @sadtoday21 - sorry I have been a little quiet, just trying my hardest to stay positive and keeping myself very busy. Glad to heard you guys are doing well and that the signs of O are coming your way. Will be more active tomorrow I think after the scan. Seriously can't wait to watch GOT later today, soda is booked at 5pm xx

Gosh bloody predictive text *sofa not soda xx

Sorry @sadtoday21 just realised it cd 11 but we're very close. I'm actually looking forward to trying this cycle. I feel a lot more in control than before when my body was clearly in the driving seat. I hope we both have nice normal cycles Xx

@Amanda81 I think it's wise to take time out and completely understand. I loved GOT though of course there are some unhappy people. The finale made a lot of sense to me and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'll be interested to see what you think when all the other ladies have seen it too. I've got a good feeling about tomorrow for you! Xx

Thanks for your understanding @Catconfusion - MN can be a fantastic source of support, but can also play with the demons if not too careful! Fingers crossed for tomorrow xxx

@Amanda81 good luck for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and looking forward to hearing from you after. xxx

@Amanda81exactly! You need to protect your positive mindset as much as possible. Just remember you're on a completely different journey now so chances are all is well. We're always here when you need us, whenever that is! Xx

Hi all! I don't know if its just the pre-O blues, but anyone else feeling a bit anxious about ttc this month? I just received the final letter from CX saying I am all clear and can have reassurance scans at 8-10 weeks, so I should be over the moon with joy, but for some reason I'm just feeling anxious all of the sudden. I can't really explain why - just feeling a bit down today and needing to talk about it!

@AnnaMC214 any news on AF yet? I hope you are doing ok and thinking of you xxx.

@Amanda81 totally understand your need to focus on something else and stay positive. Good luck tomorrow!!

Hey @sadtoday21 I'm not surprised you are feeling anxious. It's been a long old slog to get the all clear and no doubt getting the all clear has made you think there's nothing stopping ttc now. It's scary to start again and to wonder what if it happens again, it's hell! Take it a day at a time and just know that the odds are in your favour, you will get looked after due to your history and that should the worst happen again you have got through it once before and you will get through it again 😘 xx

@sadtoday21 I had some really low days late last week before O when I was feeling very negative and scared again. Think it must have been hormonal as a few days later I was feeling much brighter and more positive again. Like @Amanda81 said, take it a day by day, this journey is definitely more up and down than any rollercoaster I've ever ridden! Sending love and hugs xxx

Hey @sadtoday21 I do wonder if not being able to try was a security blanket in some respects as much as you wanted to try. It was protecting you from the risk of something going wrong. Now you're free you're open to a healthy pregnancy as well as another loss (though much less chance of this). All you can do is take each day as it comes and stay as positive as you can. It's perfectly normal to feel this way. I keep thinking it will be worth it in the end. Even if we have to go through more loss we'll look back and be glad we kept trying. As @Amanda81 said we've all been through the worse case scenario so know we can live through it if we really have to. I hope this is a lucky month for this thread and we all have happy healthy pregnancies! Xx

@3204ECL thanks so much for your kind words - I think you are right about it being hormonal! Hopefully all will pass soon and I'll be excited to be in the tww. How are you feeling these days? Sending hugs back!

@Amanda81 it really is hard not to be anxious, no matter what stage of this journey you are on. Everything you said is completely true and you are right about taking it one day at a time. I will try to follow your example! xxx

@Catconfusion that is completely spot on. The partial molar was terrible and a lot of anxiety, but a different feeling than the fears that come with ttc again and either failing at it or getting pregnant again and worrying about the baby. It's probably a mix of these feelings and the pre-O hormones that have spurred this! I also do feel tracking O gets me down a bit in general - waiting for the blank smiley to turn happy - O always being later than I expect and the constant fear that it won't happen at all for some reason. We all just have to hang in there and hope for the best!

I'm lurking today. Not much to say..... First day at work tomorrow.......

Good luck for tomorrow @Amanda81 will be thinking of you x

I’m sorry you’re feeling apprehensive @Rainbow8bubbles, but no one will be thinking that at all I promise x

I know how you feel though, it’s the reason I’ve stepped back from my old antenatal group, they all have their seconds babies without even blinking but I’m the broken one. I hope tomorrow goes ok for you x x

I had the world’s worst nights sleep which may have affected my temperature but still on flashing smileys (5 days now ) so think I’ll end up missing the window this month (if O ever arrives!)

@Rainbow8bubbles hope work goes ok tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and @Amanda81 at your scan. xxx

Will be thinking of you @Rainbow8bubbles and @Amanda81 - let us know how you get on tomorrow! We are all here to talk if you need us or just need a virtual hug!

This is the last post for the thread, since we have now reached the 1,000 limit. I'd really love it if you guys wanted to try the site and see how the chat function works here : mcandbeyond.weebly.com/just-vent.html

I also think this polling section is pretty cool and I can add more so that we can compare notes on different issues! Feel free to try it here: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/some-fun-polls.html

Kiki061190 was amazing for writing one of the first posts on the site and I am still looking for others on the process of natural mc, going back to work, supplements, and other topics!

Thank you all again for your support these past few months and for helping me get through some of the darkest days. I will open another thread on MN with the same title for us to all find each other again and connect, but I think it might be cool to try out the site I built for our little community and use it as a place to grow together! Hoping to see some of you on there Xxx.