First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

Thanks @bananamonkey it was a really special day but so much was against us. Everyone had a great time though and I'm glad we did it but was super stressful.

You sound like a healthy size and I'm sure you'll look lovely. It must have been really hard to sell the bigger dress and bittersweet being a bridesmaid. Presumably the bride knows what happened. I hope she's been understanding.

I know bridesmaid dresses was a complete stress for me. Two of my bridesmaids planned to lose weight and we got smaller sizes then didn't lose the weight. One of them didn't realise the dress didn't fit until a few days before the wedding. Luckily we sorted it. Urgh gives me palpitations just thinking about it. I never really wanted a big wedding but it escalated and in some respects was expected by DHs family. Our ceremony was beautiful but I do feel relieved it's over and we're now getting on with married life! Xx

Aww that's pants @sadtoday21 - I hope they can super charge the process and get you the results quicker. Is there a gap between Easter and your hols? I don't know if you said already, where are you going on your hols?

I know what you mean about the length of your cycles, history of PCOS and the age thing. Although I don't have long cycles and don't think I have PCOS the age thing certainly focuses the mind and a cycle lost does play on your mind.

As everyone else, I think my metabolism feels like it's slowed down, I also found that with age (38) it has slowed down. What I have noticed more readily is that my boobs increase with every pregnancy and don't appear to go down. Don't want them to grow any more!

My temp has gone up again today. I'm starting to feel a little hopeful, but need to manage these feelings as it could well be hormones.

Thanks everyone! I don't think they will rush the tests unfortunately, it will probably just be another two weeks of waiting around :/. I'm trying really hard not to overreact to this and to maintain the calmness of earlier this morning. It really doesn't change anything, I just really want to know and move on with ttc again. It doesn't help that I think I am Oing about now, given the temp rise this am and a bit of EWCM finally. I hate missing out on this cycle! errrgh I know you guys get it.

@Amanda81 omg omg omg it looks so good! haha sorry getting excited. Just do a test! I would bet money on that being a pregnancy chart, I've looked at so many of these now. Do you think my chart looks like an O rise?

I've said this before, but why isn't there a device that gives you a number for hcg levels at home?? It's so annoying. If anyone is a scientist or knows some one who does medical research, let's talk about opening a business based on developing such a product. Some kind of finger prick thing like they do for insulin! Why is it so hard to find out levels of hormones in blood.

@sadtoday21 - trying to stay calm is best. Likelihood is that you are progressing in the right direction, but of course it would be nice to have certainly. I do think your chart is showing very promising signs of O. The next two days we need to see two further highs to confirm it, and then hope to see some solid crosshairs on the chart. You may also get a dip between 3-5 with the oestrogen surge, which might be a little or a lot. I recall you saying that your LP was 17 days (?). When you get back from hols, that may mean that you have a nice new cycle to focus on, which will be nice xx

Oh and totally with you in the finger prick idea...they can do it for diabetes, why not HCg!? Perhaps this will be the next step in pregnancy tests x

Oh wow @Amanda81 that's looking amazing. I really hope this is it! It just shows a WTF cycle can turn into a promising one. Xx

@sadtoday21 I know right!!! Why not an hcg with a numerical level. If an app can do opks then I don't understand why someone hasn't invented it. Rubbish they won't rush the result through for you. It's so frustrating to be o'ing as well! Xx

As an ex-scientist who works in clinical research it’s a great idea! I just had a quick look and found one that you send off but it’s £40 per test! Although having recently listened to The Dropout podcast about Elizabeth Holmes and the Theranos silicone valley blood testing fraud and I don’t want to end up like her! Really gripping story though.

Ladies can I ask a question do you think you can get duff batches of OPKs? I always get the cheap ones but these seem really weak on the control line compared to every other one I’ve used, it actually looks much darker in the picture than it does in real life? I’ve used about 5 out of this bag and they’re all the same.

@bananamonkey I'll look that podcast up, sounds interesting.

I used the one step ones and they were fine. Presumably if the control is weak it's not working. Sorry I don't know much about opks as not great with my pcos. Xx

@bananamonkey I use the same kind of opks and that's fainter than any control line I've ever had. I have heard of other people having a duff batch so it's a possibility. Are they ones you've had for long? Are they definitely still within their expiration date? I have a load I bought just before my bfp so I'll try and remember to note if they've gotten fainter over time.

@bananamonkey that is fascinating! Where do they do it? Why do you think no one has developed such an hcg test? Even a urine one with numbers would be great. The suspense is killing me and it doesn’t seem like a hard thing to do.

I’m not sure about the opks. I had to look up the word “duff” though and found some interesting things about boiled puddings? Is this a British thing? 😂😂😂

@bananamonkey - possibly!?! My one step control line OPK's have always been darker. I will also search out the podcast, sounds very interesting

LOL @sadtoday21 we do use some weird words, don't we?! I have a very good Spanish friend who moved here 5 years ago and couldn't speak a word of English...having to try and explain our weird and wonderful ways (and words) to her was...interesting to say the least! 😂

So sorry to hear of the mess up at CX - can't believe the anticlimax for you, and the frustration. Try and enjoy your long weekend and look forward to your holiday. You so deserve the break and change of scenery.

Thinking of you all and hoping this could turn into our lucky thread, starting with you @Amanda81🤞🏼

Xxx

Thanks @LMLP91 languages are my hobby, so I find it really fascinating and I do enjoy a good language joke! I am going to try to take your advice and enjoy the short break as much as possible, even though I was really hoping to celebrate good news. I guess losing the sample is better than bad news though. I am going to call CX tomorrow again, just on the very very off chance it turns up. It's so depressing to think that it will be three months since the d&c at least before ttc again, particularly now that I am starting to actually feel fully recovered from it.

My two wishes right now: Please let the sample be there tomorrow and be negative!!! And please let this be a lucky thread starting with @Amanda81!

Well there are plenty of British-isms and phrases to keep you tickled I'm sure @sadtoday21 🙊 I think that's the best way to be, try not to let the nice times pass you by as the every day is hard enough! I know it's frustrating and upsetting feeling so far down the line with no happy outcome yet, but know that your body is healing and getting stronger and in time it will happen. I'm four months post d&c and have really tried hard to get back to actually living and making the most of life now, instead of letting it pass me by. I don't want to look back and wish I'd done things differently anymore, for such a long time I've felt like an empty shell. I need to be in the here and now and believe that it will happen for me (and everyone else) when it's meant to happen.

Good luck with contacting CX, I so hope they get their asses in gear and get the ball rolling promptly for you.

Xxx

I don’t know where “duff” came from, it’s not a word I normally use but seemed appropriate 😂 They’re a brand new batch I bought, annoying as it’s a big bag but compared to my last ones, here, the control is much stronger? I feel like I don’t know anything anymore, stuck in limbo still spotting till O or AF actually happens!

This was the test I saw @sadtoday21 but I didn’t really look into them much so don’t know how legit they are www.medichecks.com/fertility-tests/pregnancy-test-blood

Sidebar but the Elizabeth Holmes thing is fascinating, I don’t know how she thought she would get away with it?! May only be interesting if you’re a bio geek like me or interested in big corporate fraud.

Ok I’ve just “treated” myself to a fermometer and some Clearblue O tests with a birthday voucher, hopefully these will work better. Someone had just Whatsapped their birth announcement but I cant face opening the message yet Can’t say that to anyone in real life as it makes me sound horrible.

Hi all, a bit confused this morning... still got some spotting from AF (crazy long AF compared to normal) and I'm on CD10 and 2nd day using CB digital OPKs and got a flashing smiley... can I really be gearing up for o when AF hasn't completely gone?! Thanks in advance for your advice, nearly the weekend!!! X

Good morning ladies,

@3204ECL I'd definitely say you could be gearing up. Do you normally have short cycles? Some ladies can fall pregnant on their periods.

Urgh so my cycle continues to baffle. I'm determined to not let it upset me though. I had a lovely day yesterday by just putting it out of my mind and focusing on the present moment. However my mood was very very up: lots of energy, motivation and positive thoughts. The only thing I've changed recently is the insotisol which I started taking a week ago and I've cut out gluten, dairy and added sugar. It's supposed to help with pcos. My DH is amazing, I barely mentioned it to him and he'd been to the supermarket and started planning meals for me. Anyway this morning I had a massive temperature drop. At first I thought the worst but now I'm wondering if this is a good sign. I was sad to see Ovusense removed the fertile window but maybe now I'm eating better my body will gear up again or AF will just come so I can start again. It's interesting how the lower temp has come with good mood! Xx

@bananamonkey good luck with the opks and fermometer. I hope you're ok with the birth announcement once it's open. Its so hard to be happy for others after all we've been though. My DH asked last night if he could ask a couple he works with round to see the new house. She's pregnant and their baby is due the same week ours would have been born. Also they shared the scan picture the day DH went back to work after my surgery. She then asked if I was pregnant as she was convinced we'd conceive first. It just felt like she saw it as some competition so very rude even though she didn't know we'd miscarried. Needless to say I told DH no and that I'm not interested in seeing them at the moment and I hope they can understand why! Xx

I really like your attitude @LMLP91 I completely agree that life passes you by when grieving after a mmc. It took me a little while but I think yesterday I finally started to move on and start enjoying life again. We all deserve to have a good life before we have our babies. I want to be a good Mum and to get there I can't let this destroy me. Xx

@sadtoday21 I really hope they've found your sample and can give you a negative result. If they can't I hope you can relax enough to enjoy your holiday. Thinking of you today! Xx

@Amanda81 I literally can't wait until you test. The suspense is killing me. I really hope you start a run of good news on this thread. Although I think the fact we're generally all feeling much better is good news. A bfp would be amazing though, no pressure!! If it isn't, the end of your chart shows a good LP so bodes well for next time. Xx

@Catconfusion I'm normal about 26 days so on my normal wheels (below) I'd be on a green day so makes sense. I didn't realise you could gear up for o when AF was still hanging around!

Sorry you're still no clearer on your cycle but sounds like you had a better day yesterday. Fingers crossed for AF soon so you can reset a bit. Wow amazing you've given up gluten, dairy and sugar! Amazing will power (much better than mine!) especially at Easter! X

sorry forgot the picture!

@AnnaMC214 how are you today? It must have been so awkward when your DHs stepmum burst into tears thinking you were pregnant. I don't know what I'd have said. It seems to me that older generations don't necessarily know how common miscarriages and fertility issues are. Maybe it just wasn't talked about years ago. They do seem to assume babies come easily after marriage. My Dad was beside himself after our mmc, mainly because he didn't understand how high the chances of a loss were. He assumed there must be something terribly wrong with us. Xx