Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing misscarriage #New Thread

[Adventuregame]

The 'Headwreck and Hope' thread has helped a lot of us who have gone through miscarriage from innitial fears over bleeding and cramps to the procedures and aftermath. A new thread was needed before the old one filled up so here it is. Any questions, worries and hand holding then this is your place. Hoping the ladies on the old thread find this one. stay strong. You will get through this.....

I completely agree. Stay strong tommorow if you need to rant or just have a moment you know we are here for you. X

lovehoratio DH has been amazing fluffing my pillows and bring me ice cream I ate out of the tub. I think the worst is over (I hope) as the cramps have eased up and I can actually sit down again.

Like lilliana I was told 3 months or wait 2 period cycles by the clinic but they explained it's more to be able to tell your dates more accurately if you fall pregnant as they found people find it distressing not knowing dates, expecting to be further along and then worrying when the scan doesn't match the estimates dates.

3under4 hope being at work today wasn't too horrible and that you're at home resting now.

Evening all,
Just rolled in from work at this crazy hour.
Was so busy all day barely had time to think about losing the baby, despite constant but luckily not too heavy bleeding all day / and working with a heavily pregnant woman too!
Feel a bit like a robot, just getting through the day.
Wonder if my body is holding on to everything til it's alright to let it go?
Going to beg for another scan this Friday if there's no change - surely a week is enough for them to see if there's been some growth?
I don't have much hope though.
Hope you're all doing ok.
Sending love to all...
Now for sleeeeep and preparing to do it all again tomorrow.
One day at a time.
xxx

lillian how are you today? Sorry you had such a rough time yesterday

I was told one month for dating reasons after previous mc (oops got pregnant in the wtf cycle!) but this time they have advised 3 to allow my body to recover. Not sure if it's due to having 2 or due to erpc. love I know how you feel hence pregnant in wtf cycle but this time I'm not sure I'm ready to go through it again yet. I hope you get your baby soon x

3under well done for getting through work. There do seem to be a lot of pregnant people around ATM :(. Hope you get some answers soon x

sweet I do think your body holds on until you are ready sometimes - I guess stress hormones holds it up maybe? Try to take it easy and push for a scan

Lilliana the cramping isn't as bad today and the bleeding has eased up. hoping I'm over the worst. Saw the GP to get a referral to the EPU and I'm seeing them this afternoon. Really hoping it's almost over I think I can emotionally heal only after the physical reminders are gone I can only imagine the emotional pain for you is much worse the second time around - I am already worried what I'd be like with a second pregnancy as my first experience being quite horrendous I'm scared I won't experience the joy other women do.

3under I understand sometimes work is a welcome distraction - it certainly makes the day go quicker.

sweet hope you can get your scan sooner so you can get some answers - it must be hard being in limbo

lovehoratio hope the train ride wasn't horrific - maybe an eye mask to block the world out. 2015 is a right PITA so far - maybe we should buy lottery tickets... after all this misfortune perhaps our luck will turn up elsewhere?

Evening ladies, we all made it through another day, that's a huge pat on the back!!
Lillianfullstop*how did it for today at the EPU?
sweet good luck with the scan will you let us know how it goes? Completely understand that glimmer of hope, the biggest wish for good news!
love did you manage the train ride?
*Lillian hugs and love.
I've nearly stopped bleeding I think my body is refusing to let go! Dreading my scan on Friday but really want it over and done with, I can't keep goggling and reading constantly, some how I need to draw a line under this. I keep allowing my mind to wonder off to a time I can TTC again, and then the reality of what I'm feeling kicks in again and scares me. xxx

Hi ladies. Well done on surviving another day.
Sweet potato- I think you are right to focus on one day at a time. I hope you get your scan on friday and really glad your dh is supportive.
Lillian- I hope this afternoon at the epu helped you on this difficult journey. Flowers.
On a lighter note - great minds - but I bought a lottery ticket yesterday. . I could do with some luck.!
3under4 - I have a tendency to read and google about miscarriage and have to stop myself at work. ... I think it is an attempt to gain some control over something that is uncontrollable ifyswim?
Lilliana - I think a break would do me good in all honesty but my age is against me - I have plenty of time really but I cant help thinking that if I miss this month that might be it.

Sorry if I have missed some posts. Today was tough. . Lots of people asking me if I was better after my 'vomiting bug' last week.. I had to leave when the bleeding started and didn't know what else to say. Still it was busy busy and at least I wasn't able to dwell.

After the last miscarriage I threw myself into work and then had an anxiety or stress attack I think after dealing with everything.. I am trying not to do the same thing again so have booked a day off next week.
Sorry for the mammoth post. . My youngest child fell asleep on me this evening and I was able to count my blessings. Hugs to all. Xx

love well done for for your first day back, it's tough but I felt stronger today and that was day 2, I had only told 2 friends at work ( can't believe I was so stupid) but they were very sweet when I told them what had happened. I think it's very wise of you to book some time off. I hope tommorow is a better day for us all x

Glad we're all getting through the days.

lillian hope the worst is over for you.

3under I have found people so supportive and have told more people about the mc than I did about the pregnancy - it has made me realise how many people do care about me.

love I'm 35 and feel the clock is ticking, especially after 2 mc but DH wants the break and realistically I think it will be good for me. Also I have my DD and if we're only getting one she is amazing and I'm so lucky to have her - this experience has made me realise this more then ever before.

Hope today is an ok day for us all.

lillian I'm 35 as well everyone keeps telling me that's not old, but I know how you feel x

hope everyone is doing ok today

My scan at the EPU yesterday and it showed there was still some tissue left - more passed within 10 minutes of leaving the hospital (luckily we were within wobbling distance of a restaurant with facilities as it was quite uncomfortable). Possibly my brain registered that the show was not quite over and moved things along.

Now it's just like a heavy period with slight cramping. I will need to go back to EPU for another scan ideally on Monday so I can get the all clear to travel.

3under4 hope you get the all clear for your scan on Friday.

lovehoratio first day back is tough - I'm back today but from home and at least I don't have to bat away the questions face to face (popular answer I've given is that it is Ebola or H1N1). it really is quite taxing though isn't it? only my manager knows. I was being stubborn and wanted to go into the office but DH and DSis both put their foot down and made me stay home and rest which I'm grateful for. Energy levels are definitely flagging now at 3.30

lillian I've just turned 36 and doctors weren't concerned about age yet (I think it's 40 before they class you as high risk). I'm hoping time is still on our side and that surely our bodies would much rather we take the time to heal

sweet do you have options nearby for a private scan if they can't book you in for Friday?

Hi all. I hope you survived today.
Lillian -it was probably a good call to work from home - your dh and dais sound supportive and sensitive which should help.
Lilliana - it is interesting what you say about telling more people about the miscarriage than the pregnancy. I have done that too.... miscarriage is so conmon and we just don't talk about it. I know at least 5 people who have miscarried.
3under4 it is good you have some support at work as well.

I am ok today but that is because I have not really allowed myself to think about it. I really feel like just getting pissed but not sure that is healthy!

A week ago I was pregnant and happy. I hope tomorrow is a better Thursday.

Hi ladies,
Just a check in to send you all some love. Had hard day at work, and it seems I didn't pass what I thought I had on Sunday, it happened at work. It was bloody tough, DH is being very black and white about it all which is really difficult. Just want this typos scan over and done with on Friday. love I know exactly what you're talking about I feel the same, I was so full of hope and plans last week. God this sucks xxxx

Random typos work there, instead of a swear word! Whoops xx

Sorry you had to go through that today 3under4. Are you ok? Well not ok but as well as you can be after such a shit day? I think it is hard for our partners. . Harder for us obviously but my dh is just the recipient of all my ranting and crying and is just very supportive.

Anyway I am just rambling and am going to have an early night.
Well done all on getting through another day.

oh no 3under4 sorry you had to go through that at work

I think it's harder for us than DHs to move ahead because of the physicality of it and the fact that it's still happening. I haven't had a miscarriage - I'm HAVING a miscarriage. It's still happening and it makes it all the more difficult to move on. I had to ask my DH to slow down for me. I know he's only trying to stay positive and tries to cheer me up but I said if I feel like he's too far ahead in his recovery I'll feel too alone in this. So sometimes I make him stop and talk about it - it does help. I guess their natural response would be to be practical or distract themselves whereas for us it helps to talk it through

lovehoratio i had two sips of red wine last night and that was way too much! I felt quite heady. i've only stopped drinking for two months so i think it was more that my body has been run down with the mc to handle alcohol. tasted great but i had to stop. maybe once the bleeding has stopped i will try again. i have enjoyed runny eggs, sushi and medium rare steak in the last few days.

this time last week was also full of joy and hope. Saturday I looked forward to my scan and was practically skipping to the clinic with giddiness until it all came crashing down. A day at a time for us

I spent last week reading this thread, hoping your sad & devastating experiences wouldn't be mine to share but worrying they would. I have one gorgeous DD and feel very lucky for that, experienced bleeding throughout my pregnancy so hoped this bleeding was the same, nothing to worry about. Sadly, on Friday I realised this bleeding was heavier, different and would probably result in loss. By Saturday I needed to know and booked a private scan that confirmed my fears. The sympathy I have felt for friends experiencing this loss can not match how it feels and I send love, support & good wishes to those who have or are experiencing it. All I can add it that physically things were not as bad as they have been for some, no pain and just a long, heavy period. such a frightening time but I have massive hope for the future. Love & best wishes to all.

Dear minette I'm so sorry for your loss we are here to support you. I don't know how I would have coped with out this thread the past week xxx

3under4 thank you. I realised afterwards my post was quite self indulgent and didn't mention anyone I had read talking about their loss, thank you all for sharing. It's bloody shit, that's all I can muster about it. Before I posted, lurking & reading your posts was a massive help to me and really what made me want to post.

3 just read back, it's a horrible thing to experience but work adds another dimension. Hope you feel like you can move on. How lovely to send such warm words to me when you're experiencing such total and utter balls. X

Havent got much time to post but just wanted to send love to you all. Sorry you are going through this minette. Flowers. Try to take one day at a time. Xx

How are you doing today ladies? minette how was your day? I went to the EPU and the scan showed I had had a complete MC so no need for any help or procedure which is a relief. Going to snuggle up and watch DVDs tonight while eating my own body weight in Galaxy. My love to you all hope the week end is gentle to us all xxxx

Sorry to hear your news minette if there was ever a time self indulgence is warranted now is definitely it! It is properly a shit time all around but I'm glad you are feeling hopeful and that the physical ordeal has not been too terrible for you.

3under4 glad you were given the all clear so your healing can start. My follow up appointment is on Monday hopefully mine is over too. The cramps and flow have both tapered off. I bought a pregnancy test to try in 2 weeks time to check if I'm still showing as positive.

love, lilliana and sweet hope you're all ok

So sorry you're joining us minette self indulgence is definitely allowed here Feel free to post how you're feeling anytime. It helps x

3under glad you got the all clear - it's the best outcome in the circumstances. I have eaten my body weight in magnum ice creams this week!

lillian fx it is over for you too. It sounds positive.

Be gentle to yourselves and your DHs / DPs xx