Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing misscarriage #New Thread

[Adventuregame]

The 'Headwreck and Hope' thread has helped a lot of us who have gone through miscarriage from innitial fears over bleeding and cramps to the procedures and aftermath. A new thread was needed before the old one filled up so here it is. Any questions, worries and hand holding then this is your place. Hoping the ladies on the old thread find this one. stay strong. You will get through this.....

Hi ladies,

Just doing a night feed with my baby and thought I'd put out a quick post to give you all hope and to encourage everyone of you to keep on trying. I'm a former regular on the recurrent mc thread so some of you may know me.

My DH and I started trying for a baby six years ago. We suffered years of unexplained infertility, tests, operations and unsuccessful treatment to try to get a positive pregnancy.

I had a suspected very early mc in 2013 then later that year I finally got my first positive test thanks to progesterone based treatment. I was over the moon but a 9 week scan showed a missed mc and my heart just collapsed in pain.

After collecting my strength I resumed treatment and had another positive a few months later. This time we had a successful six and eight week scans only to lose the baby at around 11 weeks.

I then had the drugs tweaked and conceived about 10 months ago. This time I went for weekly reassurance scans and watched my baby grow on the scans each week. I constantly worried I was going to lose him but somehow this one stuck and now he's here in my arms.

Never ever give up! If I can get there then you all can too.

Rach everything you say is utterly normal and is exactly how I felt. Not sure if you've tried or considered it but yoga and counselling both helped me to get through my hardest days. Big hugs x

Rach, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I've going through my 3rd mmc at tho mo. In March I said goodbye to my baby boy at 4 months as he had Patau syndrome and would not have survived beyond birth. I have to say, that was by far the hardest thing I've ever been through. I thought after that life would never be happy again, how could I smile again after delivering my tiny precious baby, holding him, burying him?
The last few months have been hard, but I have smiled again. Going through another mmc now has thrown me back again, but I know I will be able to pick myself up. It's not always easy, but over the years, I've discovered an amazing strength in myself.
Lilliana, I'm doing ok. I think you're right, and an actual mc prob won't happen here on hols as my body will hold on to it. I hate that my body is so stupid, my tummy is still growing and I've a perceptible bump appeared over the last week which must be fluid if baby's not growing. I'm still praying for a miracle x

A big thanks and love to everyone sharing their loss and feelings here. It feels comforting to make contact and read about other women going through the same thing. And especially those who have been through it and then gone on to have successful pregnancies. It is comforting to read that, thank you for sharing.

I have not yet posted anything about my pregnancy on MN and, like others have said, I am so sad to find myself making my first post here on this thread.

I was about 10 weeks pregnant (an unexpected but very much welcome first pregnancy at 42) and went for an early, private scan as a part of the harmony test yesterday. Had been having a lot of nausea and food aversions, tiredness etc so feeling quietly confident and hoping for a heartbeat but they only found the egg sac and a very small "fetal pole". They estimated that the baby was only about 5weeks+4. We are very sure of our dates so knew that it was an mmc immediately, even though the nurse was trying to keep us positive - "maybe your dates are wrong" etc

We went for an NHS scan at the early pregnancy unit today with the same results and are now just in the waiting space and nervous about what happens next (bought jumbo pads and strong painkillers today).

My partner and I have been very cautious about thinking too far ahead, especially as my age is a factor so no baby name conversations or nursery shopping trips. But it is still a shock and so sad to find out that the baby stopped growing before we even got our BFP (4 weeks ago).

Just wanted to step into this room with all of you and add my shoulder to lean on and my tears too. I know it is a common thing but it is so hard when it's you.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and for sharing your stories.
I'm starting to feel a bit stronger emotionally, knowing I'm not the only person going through this.

I'm scared of the future, am I going down a long road to heartbreak?
I know right now I want a baby so much and I'm prepared to go through this all over again to get there.

Hey all. I'm back. Had a massive bleed on Monday and discovered that I have retained products. And also, that this was a molar pregnancy so I can't get pregnant for at least 6 months. Plus I need another ERPC. Plus maybe chemo.

Hi all, I'm new to MN and am sad to be joining you on this thread but I'm also finding it comforting to read everyone's stories and to know I'm not alone, particularly from those who have gone on to have happy and healthy pregnancies.

I'm currently in the process of having my first m/c. I had some cramps and very light bleeding for a couple of hours at the weekend, then went to the early pregnancy unit on Monday where they gave me a scan and confirmed that there was nothing there :( I was absolutely devastated, I should have been 6 weeks and 4 days, but they couldn't see anything, no sac, nothing.

They've been tracking my hcg levels since Monday, it started at 110 then fell to 75 on Wednesday but had only dropped to 62 today so I've still to go back on Monday again. Apparently they've still not officially ruled out an ectopic pregnancy but they're all telling me it's a miscarriage.

I'm so confused and frustrated just now. This was my first pregnancy, I'm 37 and just got married in January so we'd been trying since then. I know it's not a long time compared to others but each month that it didn't happen was torture and now after the initial hope and happiness it's all been taken away again. I'm also scared about what's still to come because I really only had an hour or very light bleeding at the weekend and nothing since, so I still have the proper m/c bleeding (and pain?) to come. I feel a bit like a timebomb. And I'm so disappointed at my body, why hasn't it realised there's no baby there? Why is it taking so long to return to normal? Each day that this drags on just feels like wasted time since I really want to be able to start ttc again, and I feel like we're running out of time since I'll turn 38 next month. And then I feel guilty for even thinking about ttc again when this m/c isn't even over.

Sorry for such a long, self-indulgent and moany post, it feels to good to get it all off my chest though. My DH is being fantastic but I'm trying to not let him see how down I am about all this, although with all the crying I suspect he's noticed anyway!

*Rach$ - I know how you feel about being scared for the future and the worry about the potential of just a long road to heartbreak, but I'm trying to just keep reminding myself that they claim it was just "bad luck" rather than a sign that anything is wrong... Time will tell I guess.

Islandgirl

Thanks for the reply, as to your situation, I'm so sorry for your loss, I completely understand how you are feeling. Please know this situation will end and your emotions with start to heal soon.

Unfortunately it is a waiting game, if you are due to return to hospital they should go through your options then but as you mentioned that they said they can't see anything it could be the case your body has already taken care of what was there already? They told me it could take up to three weeks to miscarry naturally.
It's natural to be thinking of ttc already, I was exactly the same even during my miscarriage.
I was told it could be 4 weeks or more for the process to end and I would be fine to start again, you just have to trust your body and that it will tell you when it's ready to start Again.

Sending you big hugs and best wishes xxx

Hi all,

I've posted before on a thread just after I had my miscarriage, but it's 5 weeks on and i'm probably in a worse state than I was then.
It's really not helped that two sils are also pregnant and due either a week before or after I was.
I'm not really sure how to cope with this - especially as time goes on all I see is the physical reminder that i'm not pregnant anymore and there will be 2 babies instead of 3 next year

I know time will help but i'm struggling to cope at the moment - anyone been in a similar situation and able to offer any advice how to a) not been so angry with my sils and b) how to bear seeing or even talking with them?

Hi all, I'm not glad to have found this board/thread but am comforted by it if that makes sense.
I THINK I'm currently having a miscarriage. I'm 6 weeks. Started Tuesday with light pink spotting. Changed to brown/red on Thursday. Today it's bright red and heavier. No cramps though. Had bloods taken today and have to go back Thursday. Stuck in a horrible limbo right now.

I had my scan on Friday. Foetus had actually shrunk and I was at about 9 weeks so now lying in bed with cramps and have been having what I can only describe as a light period at the minute.
One minute I'm fine and the next minute I realise again what has happened and I just get filled with so much sadness.
I put away all my pregnancy notes and the pictures of the scan today to try and get some closure but until I see a negative test I think I will struggle.
This was my first pregnancy at 29 and I know I can go on to try again but all I feel is sadness for what could have been. Was it a boy or a girl? What would he or she look like etc?
I haven't really decided what to do next whether to just let nature take its course or go back to hospital? I feel like because I started bleeding yesterday that it is already happening, plus there was bleeding in the womb which wasn't there on my last scan which was on the 7th August.

Taylormouse I had counselling after my last mc. I was so angry with my friends who were due 2 weeks after me I couldn't eat. It took about 8 weeks after looking for help to get rid of those emotions. I found it helpful just having someone to rant tothat wouldn't judge me as a bad friend.

On a separate rate note right now I'm waiting for it to be time to go back to the epau. I am 11 weeks pregnant. At 6 I thought I had lost it but ended up going for a scan at 8 weeks because I was so sleepy and sick and I thought something was still in there causing issues and they found a bean with a heartbeat. Had a big bleed just after that but it was brown and they said to expect it. Friday though I had a huge bright red bleed. It feels like every time I get my head around the fact I am pregnant I bleed. This time my best friend who has fertility issues is accidentally pregnant due 2 weeks before me. We are joking that if we try again we should hire our friendship out to people who are having troubles getting pregnant. We seem to have a gift.

Oh Sandman, don't give up just yet - may be a teeny chance but there is still a chance things are alright? I very much hope so and you avoid going through this again.
I do rant to dp who is amazing and doesn't mind listening to my rambling accusations and wails whilst I sob and snort over him but the intensity of the emotions is so overwhelming that right now I can't imagine ever getting over them
I get to a point of being vaguely alright but seeing or talking to either sil sets me right back - and i've no idea how to bare seeing them as they get bigger.
Where did you go for counselling? Is there anywhere you would recommend?
I hope the epau has reassuring news for you as well - fingers, toes and eyes all crossed for you.

I googled and found a charity called footsteps that offered free counselling for pregnancy loss and complications. There maybe something similar in your area. I'm on my way to epau now, I guess there is some hope but I can't really think about it. I need to be ready for the heart break.

And also when I was really struggling I was just honest with my friend and said I couldn't see her right now. She completely understood.

I'm new on here too, complete miscarriage confirmed last week after 3 weeks of tests and scans at EPAU. Today was a good day until work sent me a bunch of flowers.

Mrs I'm sorry for your loss, I hope today is a better day.

So despite my pessimism the bean is hanging on, there's lots of blood to that they don't know where it's coming from so I'm on enforced rest. Thanks for the finger crossing when I didn't have the heart to cross them myself!

Sandman - I am so pleased for you and am sending stern thoughts to bean to hang in there! Hopeful news to read first thing