Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing misscarriage #New Thread

[Adventuregame]

The 'Headwreck and Hope' thread has helped a lot of us who have gone through miscarriage from innitial fears over bleeding and cramps to the procedures and aftermath. A new thread was needed before the old one filled up so here it is. Any questions, worries and hand holding then this is your place. Hoping the ladies on the old thread find this one. stay strong. You will get through this.....

38 is relatively young these days so don't panic about your age.

Adventure thank you that post really helped me. Rationally it doesn't make sense that we would just get over it so I don't know why I feel the pressure to. Feeling proper tonight as my colleague's preg is going to be announced at the briefing meeting tomorrow. This is the one who is due the same time I would have been. Thankfully my manager has forewarned me so I'm missing the meeting. I just can't do it, all the pregnancies seem to get announced at these meetings and of course everyone is so lovely and happy for the mums to be as they should be, but I just can't deal with it. I've actually realised I'm passed caring about keeping up appearances now and I'm in self preservation mode.

Sorry to have to welcome new ladies. Fraggle I had a similar experience to you with a ten day wait between scans. It is awful so awful to be in that limbo so I can sympathise. For me the waiting was the hardest part. I also had no resistance from the hospital for a ERPC and once I'd had the second scan they whipped me in the next day for the proedure. I was prepared to fight a non- surgical option on mental health grounds, I just couldn't have done it. Fingers crossed for you.

Billi so sorry for your news too. I'm 38 as well and you are right it isn't old at all.

38 here too ladies and was first ever pregnancy. I know I keep harping on about the private consultant (but may as well get my moneys worth and share his knowledge) but he said 37 was the average age for a 'Chelsea Mom' (his area of London) ! He did however say to me that he wouldn't wait too long before really trying (I was quite blase about it during the appointment) as there's no getting away from the fact that for each year after 35 it does get that little bit harder ! I don't say that to panic any of us so come on 38ers lets get doing the deed !!

Purpl glad that helped - it helped me too and I explained it to DP so that he knew I might suddenly be down even tho it felt like a long time since it all happened. Your hormones really do go crazy. I had an osteopath appointment shortly after the erpc for an unrelated issue and she does craniology and she said hormones were whizzing around my body going crazy 9if you believe in any of that alternative therapy which I kind of do a bit).

My erpc was 11 weeks ago today and I can honestly say it does get easier.I almost feel like I want people to know it happened though - I keep thinking why should it be something that you keep hidden like a secret. I know it's too raw at the time to make a big deal publically about it but I keep thinking when it gets to when my due date should have been I'll want to say 'this should have been our special day'. I think people should be more aware of what happens and what you have to go through as before you experience it you just think 'oh how awful' but god that doesn't cover the half of it !!

Thanks for sharing that Adventure about hormones. I feel totally out of control of my moods so that explains a lot.

How weird that so many of us are 38.

Hi, i have an 11 month old son and found out was pregnant in April. Had early scan at six weeks which showed heartbeat was so happy. Started to get back pain & bleeding at weekend. Went for scan baby had died at 7 wks 6 days. Devasted and feel how could i not know something was wrong. Waiting for it to pass naturally confused about feelings desperately want another baby but can't forget this one feel i'm betraying it.

Hi all. Sorry for all the new ladies on hers, this whole thing totally sucks. I've had two good days then for no particular reason I'm feeling really down again today. Woke up and it hit me immediately that I am not pregnant and there were bumps everywhere in tescos this morning. I'm going back to work in less than 2 weeks and I need to buy some work clothes. I thought I'd be in maternity wear so haven't bothered buying any clothes but now I have to and I really don't want to. Also, although I'm wearing exactly the same outfit as I was yesterday, I feel so fat and unattractive today. It's funny how you can feel so totally different from one day to the next. I had a nedgative pg test yesterday, first one since erpc, so we are officially good to go with ttc. That made me happy yesterday but today it just makes me so sad.

Tft so sorry to hear you're having a down day. It's totally like that isn't it? Seemingly random up moments then crashing down. And seeing pregnant women EVERYWHERE. I think maybe we have to honour the sadness when it comes and hopefully move through it each time. I find myself feeling upbeat when I'm busy then when I stop it floods in and I have to sit quietly for a bit and allow the feelings. Awful.

georgy so sorry about your shock.

Sorry to hear people on the thread are having difficult days. Sending support x

Hi all, might need to camp out here for a bit. Just today lost the bean at 9wks. Still in shock I think

Hello. Missed miscarriage confirmed today after second internal scan. Have to say the NHS staff at homerton were so much nicer and more thorough than the staff at the £100 a visit fetal medicine centre. They even 'pitched' us another scan in 2 weeks, which could have had devastating consequences.
Confirmed the baby's heartbeat had stopped at 6+4. FMC were vague on this and said "probably some time last week".
Going under general anaesthetic tomorrow morning so Nil by mouth.
Reassured to hear how the closure helps. Desperate to be pregnant again.

Manatee. Am so sorry.

So sorry Billi Good luck with the GA tomorrow. Like you I'm just desperate to be pg again - but all the scans identified quite a large fibroid that they think I might need treated before we can try again. Really thought this would be the year

I just keep remembering the moment the sac came out earlier today and I looked at it in the tissue paper and thought 'that was my baby'. Can't get it out of my head. Sorry if that's too much for anyone.

Fuck, this is so horrible.

It is hideous, just hideous. Nothing anyone says can make it better. The pain is like drowning sometimes. But we will move on, because we have to move on. Pregnancy is not a smooth ride so much of the time. We have hit an obstacle but will have our babies, don't worry.

Really sorry to hear your news. I have my second scan tomorrow and I'm booked in for a GA on Sat! Wishing you luck x

My best friend just had her large fibroid removed with keyhole surgery. It was very easy and pain free.

You're right. We'll get through it and try again. Even if I can't stop crying right now I can't cry forever, and one day I'll get to hold my baby. Just not yet.

The crying is quite a force. You're on the journey to holding your baby. It's a tricky one for you. As it is for us all. Look how many people had another baby after their losses. We won't be crying any more when that happens. In fact, if anything, it will give it more value. I honestly believe that.

Hope you are doing ok today billi. DH is back from his trip now, thank goodness. We've had a bit of a cry and are curled up together now, me reading/MNing and him sleeping off the jetlag. Hope you have some good support around you too.

Hi all. How did it go today fraggle? Glad to see they booked you in for surgery tomorrow. Good luck with it, hope all goes as well as can be.

Sorry to see you on here billi and othe. It's so weird seeing people on here whose user names you recognise (I have seen posts from you before othehugemanatee and thought what a great user name). I didn't really know this part of MN existed and never thought I'd be on here but it's really comforting to know there are people who know how you're feeling at the moment.

Yes how did it go today fraggle
Yes likewise never visited this bit of MN until just yesterday. Unless someone is going through mc that'd seem a bit weird and voyeuristic I think? Anyway I'm glad it's here. I wish no-one else was having to go through this but I'm glad we can talk to each other iyswim.

georgy how are things going for you?

Hello. Second scan complete with the same outcome. Booked in for my op tomorrow. I'm just glad it's nearly over. I'm glad the false hope is over. Thank you for checking on me x

Hello. Went to hospital at 11 this morning. Didn't get to surgery till 6.30. This was due to emergencies coming in so understandable. Everybody at homerton was so so lovely. A nurse had evn been through the same and now has a toddler, which was lovely to hear.

The op itself (first time under GA) was a surreal experience of falling asleep in one room, waking up in another. Had cramps. Like bad period pains but have been prescribed codeine on top of ibuprofen and paracetamol.
Am very glad I chose this route as has already provided some closure as a means of moving forward and getting through it. Am sure stuff will be thrown at me alone the way but there is solace in Having a direction to go in. What a journey this is going to be.