Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing misscarriage #New Thread

242 replies

Adventuregame · 11/06/2015 17:51

The 'Headwreck and Hope' thread has helped a lot of us who have gone through miscarriage from innitial fears over bleeding and cramps to the procedures and aftermath. A new thread was needed before the old one filled up so here it is. Any questions, worries and hand holding then this is your place. Hoping the ladies on the old thread find this one. stay strong. You will get through this.....

OP posts:
Purpleprickles · 10/07/2015 18:37

Ah Fly glad to hear you are off your tits! It's the only way through this Grin Seriously though I hope it all went well and that someone is looking after you. Rest up and huge hugs x

Purpleprickles · 11/07/2015 23:34

Fly how are you doing today?

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 12/07/2015 14:56

Feeling fine to be honest. I think because I knew for so long I'm ok. I didn't feel pregnant for ages so I feel no different.

Just a little bit of bleeding. No heavier than a period. How are you guys? Xxx

Lilliana · 12/07/2015 20:36

Hi, I'm back!!! Sorry to see so many more people on this thread. Not sure if anyone here remembers me - I mc naturally at the beginning of April at 8 weeks. Got pregnant straight away in the wtf cycle and now I'm mc again at 11 weeks although from scans we didn't get that far. I've had a lot of bleeding and 2 scans but still not passed the sac. Going back Wednesday for another scan and if it hasn't passed need mm or d and c. Anyone got any experiences of either? I don't know what to do.

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 12/07/2015 22:07

Hi lilliana.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you again. I had an mva this week (kind of d&c under local anesthetic). Anything you want to ask, let me know. It was mildly traumatic at the time but over really quickly and actually fine. I'm bleeding a little bit now, kind of like a period, but as heavy really.

Xxxxx

Purpleprickles · 12/07/2015 22:29

Fly I'm glad you are feeling ok today and I hope you are taking it easy.

Lilliana I remember you from the last thread. I'm so so sorry to hear you are going through this again. It is completely cruel. I had an ERPC under GA and it truly was the easiest part of all this. I was scared of the GA but it was fine. Xx

Lilliana · 12/07/2015 23:43

Having read about it and what I remember from my previous time on here I'm thinking d and c might be my preferred option of crap options. I'm a bit scared of the ga but also feel like it's a cop out - like somehow I'm taking the easy option. Does that sound completely mad? I don't really know how to explain it.

Hi purple, I remember you too. How are you?

I just can't believe we're here again. It was my sisters wedding yesterday and my DD and I were bridesmaids. I've been so focused on helping with the wedding and getting through it without messing up her day I've not really had time to think about it until today when I cried for the first time since the scan.

Lilliana · 12/07/2015 23:44

From what they said the only options I have are a d and c or mm - both done in hospital.

Snowberry86 · 13/07/2015 18:17

I've just miscarried at 4 +2. I feel stupid being so upset as I only found out 3 days ago but we've been trying to nearly 18 months and I was so happy when we found out.

I feel numb, I don't know what to do. I want to be pregnant so badly it hurts.

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 13/07/2015 18:19

Don't be silly! You're allowed to feel sad. Gestation isn't important. We all had that elation, followed by sadness. Doesn't matter the distance between the two. Have you miscarried already? Sorry. Xx

Snowberry86 · 13/07/2015 18:25

It happened today. Got a positive on Sat morning, sat evening spotted a little, Sunday a bit more spotting and then today passed some brown clumps and the digital test says not pregnant so it's gone.

Lilliana · 13/07/2015 19:34

So sorry snowberry. It hurts however far along you are. As soon as you get a positive you start planning a future with your baby, it doesn't matter how much they have developed, you're grieving for the baby you had made plans for. Look after yourself and your DP/DH and come chat anytime, we all know how it feels Flowers

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 13/07/2015 20:23

I'm in loads of pain today. The bleeding has increased a bit and I'm passing black tissue stuff. Just taken some more codeine. I hate how it makes me feel but I can't deal with the pain.

Purpleprickles · 13/07/2015 21:10

Snowberry I'm so sorry that you have had to join us here. I agree with Fly the length you were pg is irrelevant. You were pg and you have lost that.

Lilliana I don't think any option is easy but you have to do what is right for you and also give yourself a bit of a break. It's hard enough going through this crap once but you are doing it twice.

Fly sorry to hear you are in pain. I lost bits of tissue too and had some heavy bleeding as well. Hopefully that is a bit reassuring.

I went for a counselling assessment today which was helpful. It was through the GP but was more of a mental health service so the counsellor has said that they aren't the right place for me and has put me in touch with Cruse for bereavement counselling. I felt relieved in some ways because it means I am grieving and not depressed but also disappointed because I was hoping to be cured by it. Unrealistic I know.

Lilliana · 15/07/2015 10:22

fly how are you today? Hope the pain is less.

purple if you were depressed there wouldn't be a 'cure' either :( So sorry you're struggling but hopefully you're on the path to finding someone who can help x

I'm back in the depressing waiting room at epu. Nothing major has happened in the last week so expecting to discuss management :( still don't know what I want which is not helpful!

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 15/07/2015 10:51

I'm OK today. Had a run this morning. The pain yesterday was dreadful. Really bad. But seems settled today. And less bleeding which is great. Hoping it'll be over soon.

Lilliana · 15/07/2015 13:54

Fly. Glad you are feeling better. I hope this is it for you x

I'm booked in for smm/erpc on Friday.

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 15/07/2015 15:00

Don't worry Lil. It's horrible and so unfair though. Rubbish that our bodies aren't doing it themselves.

I had a very nearly negative pregnancy test today which I found quite exciting because one of the things which was super depressing me was that my body couldn't understand and kept holding on. I feel now that I can move on.

Lilliana · 15/07/2015 15:17

Glad you're at that point. Did you have management? Sorry I can't remember. I know I will get there but atm I'm curled up under a blanket feeling sorry for myself. DD will wake up soon so I'll have to get on with normal things which will help and hopefully Friday will be the start of moving on for us.

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 15/07/2015 15:57

I had an mva. Kind of like d&c but without the ga. I'm really glad I had it. It was yukky at the time but glad I can start to move on.

Lilliana · 15/07/2015 16:12

I've had 3 weeks of bleeding now, they suggested giving it another week but I've had enough now. I have a toddler and need to move on so I'm hoping this will help. They don't offer mva so it was this or mm.

Theresaflyinmyhouse · 15/07/2015 17:06

Mva is only available up to 9 weeks I think. And even though I was almost 12 the sac was only 7. I know what you mean. They tried to make me wait too but I just felt like I needed to get it done asap.

GoulashSoup · 18/07/2015 00:06

Hello all, sorry to see new/old faces. Lilliana I'm sorry you are back here, that must be incredibly hard. I hope things resolve soon for you so that you can move on.

Snowberry so sorry for your loss. Don't minimise losing a very much wanted baby. You may not have been pregnant long, but it sounds like you have wanted that baby for a very long time, and the excitement and potential is the same as soon as you see that possitive. I hope your body recovers quickly, and things happen again for you soon. Be kind to yourself.

Fly, glad you are doing well. Hope the run was good. Also great that the preg test is looking promising.

Purple, I'm glad you are being pointed in the right direction for the right counselling. If you are anywhere near the east, there is a charity called Petals based in Cambridge that offer free councelling specifically for pregnancy related issues. I am thinking of getting in touch to process this loss, but also to try to face some of the issues I have from DS' birth.

Sorry to have gone AWOL on you, I had to step away. I had a really bad week last week and was very low. I think I was just too physically tired to be able to emotionally cope. Pregnancy tests are still very possitive so having levels of hCG monitored. Histology found no evidence of GTD and I had very high hCG levels before I mc so it is probably just taking a while to drop off. Just had a few days away at the beach with DH and DS. PIL had DS for a couple of nights so that DH and I could have a break. I feel much more ready to face life now. Wine all round.

Lilliana · 18/07/2015 08:29

Thanks goulash sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It's so different for everyone and I found that when I thought I was moving on I 'relapsed' and went back to tears and slight depression. I hope a break helped - DH and I are thinking of doing something similar.

Erpc went ok yesterday. Had quite a lot of bleeding but slowed today and feeling a bit sick but also feel ready to move on a bit. Everyone was really lovely and compassionate apart from the lady in recovery who asked how my pain was and I said it was a bit like labour without the good bit at the end. She replied with 'well at least you won't get woken in the night' ShockHmm umm actually I would give anything to have my baby and be woken in the night you stupid woman. DH and friends that know have been lovely. We've decided to have a break from ttc and focus on ourselves for a bit - after being baby focussed for the past 5 years (DD took 2years to conceive) I've lost myself a bit

lovehoratioinmiami · 18/07/2015 21:02

Hi everyone. Hope its ok to join this thread. I am miscarrying at 6 weeks at the moment. Bleeding is just like a period really so I am lucky in some ways.
It is my second miscarriage in 4 months. Previous one was at 6 weeks too. I already have two adorable children so I am incredibly lucky.

It just feels so shit and not fucking fair. I am in a roller coaster of denial practical acceptance depression and anger. Dont think I have really recovered from last time.
I don't really know why I am posting except it has been helpful to hear your stories.