Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing misscarriage #New Thread

[Adventuregame]

The 'Headwreck and Hope' thread has helped a lot of us who have gone through miscarriage from innitial fears over bleeding and cramps to the procedures and aftermath. A new thread was needed before the old one filled up so here it is. Any questions, worries and hand holding then this is your place. Hoping the ladies on the old thread find this one. stay strong. You will get through this.....

Fraggle. Good luck with tomorrow. Hope you have lots of love and support around you

Thinking of you all. Glad you can start to move forward now Billi

**Fraggle, one small piece of advice. Don't eat too much afterwards. Was kept up at night with excruciating trapped wind. Have bicarbonate of soda or anti wind pills at the ready. Good luck

Good luck with the op today fraggle. And glad you're ok billi.
I took a sleeping pill last night and crashed for nearly 12 hours. Feel a bit better after that. Planning to be just very quiet today and hopefully will start to feel more like myself instead of a crampy still-bleeding-a-bit zombie.

Thinking of you today fraggle.

Just need a rant on here. I just spoke to my dad and he said, 'oh, you're still feeling down then, thought you might be picking up by now'. I had the erpc 12 days ago. My baby died. So yes, I am still feeling down. I don't think he meant to be so insensitive but it really hurts that he doesn't seem able to understand how I am feeling.

Thank you for all the kind messages. All done and i feel ok. Just glad it's over x

Thank you for all the kind messages. All done and i feel ok. Just glad it's over x

Glad you're ok fraggle

tft - how insensitive I'm sure he meant it as in hoped you'd be feeling better, not wishing you'd stop going on about it. But still pretty insensitive.

Here it's small things that keep getting me. I had a couple of series set aside on Netflix so I'd have something to watch while bfing, now every time I look for something to watch it's like they're glaring at me. It seems so trivial but to me it's just one of the ways I was starting to get ready for life totally changing, only to have to do a complete U-turn back to the old me again.

Am so lifted by the kind words from friends and family and offers to help. It means so much. Meanwhile the minute I feel let down (no message nothing from father or sister in law) i transform all the sadness and frustration into a targeted rage on them. Another target is the bitch on Harley st who tried to sell us another scan which would have kept us in limbo for over 2 weeks. I could rant on.
I guess it's distraction or therapeutic or something, which is why we do it.

Wait, so there was a clinic who told you just to wait and see then buy another scan in a fortnight? FFS I suppose some of these ultrasound places aren't necessarily that highly trained in potential medical problems especially if most of their clientele just want a look for reassurance. Plus if they charge per scan their incentives aren't necessarily the best

I have to say the NHS can be patchy in some areas but for all this mc has been a shit experience emotionally the antenatal unit staff and my GP practice could not have been kinder or more responsive.

Here we've had kind messages and flowers from a few people. It means a huge amount knowing that people are thinking of you.

Rant away, billi, if it helps

Hello, can I join you?

Sorry to find you all in this situation but reading through this thread so far has helped me begin to think about what is ahead.

Had a scan this morning at 8+1 following cramping and bleeding on and off for the last two weeks. Fetus measured right for dates but with no hb and no blood flow. It must have died very recently. I was convinced it was ectopic so in some ways I am relieved as at least this way I get to keep my Fallopian tubes in tact. Got surgical management booked for the 29th and in the mean time sit tight and see what happens. I feel completely numb. A bit scared of when the emotions hit.

So sorry goulash

So sorry. It's so so shitty. But once it's been removed, there is a new chapter, albeit another shitty one, but closer to having a baby.

Have felt so taken care of by the NHS. We are extremely lucky to have them.

Thank you Billi and Manatee. The EPU were great yesterday and I am thankful for the numbness that allowed me to keep a level head and ask lots of questions. The sadness is begining to come in waves now.

Billi it is shocking that they tried to sell you another, and pointless scan. Especially when you are so vulnerable it is disgusting that they would pedal you false hope just for quick money. You may never want to but when you are further on it may be worth writing a letter of complaint and coping in the HFEA.

Fraggle I hope you are physically recovering well today .

tft that was very insensitive. I think it is very hard for someone who had no experience of pregnancy loss to really understand. I know that although I have had several close friends and family go through mc it has been an eye opening experience already.

Good idea. Not only that, but they said it had died at 7 weeks-ish while the HUH sonographer, who looked for about 5 times the length of time, said 6+4 precisely. I know its detail that the passage of time will render less important but a whole week off? And the vagueness when all you want is answers.
The conspiracy theorist in me thinks she was a homophobic closet case reaping sadistic pleasure from the whole thing. I guess her job is miserable 1/4 of the time so hard to keep her ethics in tact. Will stop ranting soon!
No I wont... Father came round and asked me to put the tennis on within 3 minutes of arriving. We are actually amused by it now.

Thanks Goulash. I'm just tired but ok. I feel ready to move on now. Thank goodness for this thread though and for all the support available from kind MNers. X

Have decided to go to italy for a week leaving on Wednesday. It is keeping me on my toes. I just hope it's not a really really stupid idea...

Sorry to hear all your stories it such a heartbreaking process to go through

Ive recently had 3 miscarriages in a row and finding it extremely hard, is there hope..?

Started of in 2012 when i miscarried at 12 weeks then 6 months later fell pregnant with my daughter, at 11 weeks i had an horrendous bleed pints and pint of blood but no clots. I thought id lost her, but luckily the day after i had a scan and everything was ok. After all that i had several issue throughout my pregnancy and she ended up being 4 weeks early. Still shes nearly 3 now and she all
Ok.

We started trying for baby number 2 in august last year and nothing happened till February then since that ive had 3 miscarriages 2 at 6 weeks and 1 at 5 weeks
Going to the gp to see if they can do further tests..? Anyone else been through the same sort of thing

Sorry to hear about all those sad events Sophie. I don't have experience of recurrent miscarriage but it sounds extremely hard.

I went to see a counsellor today specialising in pregnancy loss. It was an assessment session to see how they could help. It was hard to talk about but I think it's going to be really helpful. Has anyone else sought counselling?

Sophie I am so sorry for all your losses. This is my first miscarriage. However I know that three or more is considered recurrent miscarriage and they should start to look into what is going on at that point. Definitely talk to your GP and they should be able to refer you to a specialist.

I am really struggling as I still have horrendous morning sickness. It is so unfair, I could just about cope when there is a point, but now I just get the shit and no baby to show for it. Throwing up several times a day, and I've got the shits. Sorry for the pity party. On a possitive I told my boss yesterday and she was very supportive.

Billi I hope you are getting some rest in the sun. The vitamin D will be good for your recovery.

gateaux counciling may be something to look in to later, but right now I'm numb. I don't think I will process things until I have surgical management next Monday. I am a bit worried about what to expect once the emotions hit.

Hi all. Just found this thread and it's summing up my brain completely. So sorry that you're all going through this too.

I'm totally in limbo. Am 100% sure of my dates which make me 9 weeks but I had an early scan at the weekend as I was having abdo pain. They weren't worried at all but said the baby is no more than 5 weeks, no heartbeat. There's no chance I'm only 5 weeks as I've been getting positive tests for 5 weeks. I've always felt less pregnant somehow than my last pregnancy (even though I've been super sick).

Because I nagged they've booked me another scan for next Thursday but other than that I've just got to wait and see what happens. I just want to know. :-(

Hand holding fly. It is going to be a long week so I would try to keep busy .

Thanks goulash. Trouble is I've got a terrible tummy bug so I'm stuck at home puking and pooing. Luckily I'm sleeping a lot too.

It's it stupid that I'm still not feeling sad? I know in my heart and head that there's no chance this is going to be ok. But a tiny bit of my brain is going "Yeah, but why would my body/nature be so cruel as to show literally no signs that there's a problem? No bleeding, no pain any more, still got pregnancy symptoms". There's no way I'm 5 weeks pregnant (i was tracking fertility and know when I ovulated, and have been getting positive tests for around 5 weeks), but my hcg is 75000, so maybe....

But I'm not