Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

[mrsb0710]

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

Thank you everyone. I have been off since Friday and have been signed off for another week. May go back on Monday though.

Love to all x

The check up scan went fine today, as expected, my body had passed everything through on Thursday and there is only a tiny clot left which they aren't worried about and should pass naturally soon. It actually made me feel better to know that nothing more was to come, and that my experiences on Weds / Thurs were the worst of it all. I'm still a bit sore but that's expected, next step is to take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks to check its negative and then await the next period.

I've been back at work since Monday as I'm enjoying the distraction, although I think if there are any heated arguments at work with colleagues or suppliers, that I might just burst in to tears but hopefully none of that this week!

Me and DP have a long weekend this weekend, we've booked a lodge in Suffolk that has a hot tub and we're just going to have a nice weekend away from everything and to get over things together.
xxx

Hi all. Coo glad you are off now and Panda I'm glad you are through the physical worst of this, enjoy the weekend! Wifey good to hear you are sleeping lots, you need it.

I need a bit of advice from those of you who ercps. Mine was a week today and for since yesterday the bleeding went really light and kind of brown. Then tonight I'm having mild cramps and its bright red again, I've also just passed a teabag size clot. Sorry this is totally tmi. Does this sound like there is a problem? Dh keeps reassuring me that it's only been a week. I'm now wide awake worrying it's going to be retained products. I can't do this all over again, I'm just coping by being back at work and appearing to be normal. If anyone has any advice I'd be grateful...again.

purple I'm sure its fine hun, its normal for some women I think. Just give your docs a ring, or the ward you had the erpc done and ask for some advice to put your mind at rest. Hugs to you x
wifey its normal to feel after pains, I did. So try not to worry too much...im ok hun, driving myself crazy thinking/hoping I'm pg again! Don't want to rant on about it here though...I look forward to seeing you on the ttc after mc thread. Speak soon x

panda that sounds lovely...just saw your post about hot tub...be careful as they are notorious for causing infection, and you are advised to steer clear of swimming etc for the couple of weeks after mc...not trying to bum you out, just make sure you keep an eye out for any signs of infection the week after your break away...im sure ull be fine though x

coo take whatever time you need...go at a pace you feel comfortable with x

I know this thread is nearly full but may I join? Found out at a scan today (11+5) that the pregnancy ended at 9 weeks. Waiting for the bleeding to start but feeling awful. I'm going to go in for the tablets on Saturday because I can't get childcare tomorrow. I just want to get it over now, I am not looking forward to tomorrow as there's no one I can really ask to come over (family far away/on holiday, friends at work or have their own little ones to look after and three are pregnant and it's a bit too raw). So looking for some hand holding to get through tomorrow.

Hi Tftpoo I'm really sorry you are having to join us here too. I also had a scan when I was expecting to be about 10 weeks only to find the embryo hadn't developed. It's a horrible thing to have to deal with. Can any of your family come and stay to support you with this? Or can any friends help out with your children on Saturday?

Have you been told it is likely you will start bleeding? I was told it was unlikely because my gestational sac was still growing so when I felt emotionally strong enough I went to work and tried to keep busy, I did also have a duvet crying days too, but keeping busy helped me. In some ways it is good you are getting the tablets on Saturday as I had to wait over a week for a second scan and the limbo of waiting for it to start was awful. I had an erpc a week ago and although I'm really sad still I feel a lot better now it's done.

There are lots of lovely posters on here who have really helped me and just listened to my rants about the cruelty of miscarriage so please keep posting. Good luck xx

Allmy thanks for the reassurance. I just panicked last night as work has been a great distraction and I'm feeling okish because I'm so busy and the cramping made me start thinking about it all again. Today though I've had hardly any bleeding so fingers crossed.

Because of being busy I've not been thinking about it as much but I know I'm going to crash at the weekend when I have time to think. I'm off to have my hair done on Saturday. My last appt was when I was first pg and my hairdresser of years noticed my hair was different so I told her. Now I've had to go drop a note in the salon because I can't face saying the words to her. In the height of our infertility battles I sobbed in the chair in the middle of the salon which I was mortified about so I'm hoping I can get through this appt without the tears.

Thank you so much for your message Purpleprickles and I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I am a SAHM at the moment although I'm meant to be going back to work at the end of the month. I know I need to keep busy but I can't face going to the toddler groups and activities I normally do as so many of my friends are pregnant of have tiny babies too. There were four of us all due within a month of each other and I just can't face seeing them at the moment.

Purple how is your bleeding today? One week after ERPC, and after 2 full days at work I've come home with bright red bleeding again. Everything had pretty much stopped and I too was feeling good and pretty much back to normal. Freaking out about retained products too but thinking maybe I just rushed back to normal hectic life a bit too soon.

It's the first time I have posted on this thread. Purple and I were chatting on a previous thread a week or so ago. Found out I had a MMC at nine weeks and after failing to miscarry naturally had an Erpc last Friday. First pregnancy and first miscarriage unfortunately

Tftpoo how did you find the day? It's been sunny here so I'm hoping you got out the house a bit even if it was the garden. I know what you mean about being around pg people, it's really hard and I think if distancing yourself helps do it. This time is about self preservation, I have walked out of baby conversations at work. Bugger being polite, I just can't do it.

HN it's really nice to hear from you, I've been thinking about how you are doing. How was being at work? My bleeding is very odd, it had pretty much stopped then I think it was Weds (see lower post) it started bright red again with cramps and I passed a clot. Now it's browny again on the whole but then I'll go to the loo and it will all of a sudden be red. It's quite light really I suppose but to me it seems endless. I'm so sick of wearing the ultra pads but I'm scared if I don't I'll have a heavier bleed.

It was ok. I managed to get the boys into nursery and my sister came up. I have decided I can't do the medical route and that surgery would be better but it might be all out of my hands because I've started bleeding and I can't have the op until Friday under GA. I could have it under local on Monday which I think is better than passing the pregnancy at home. I just don't think I could bear it if I saw it.mwhat would I do? I can not flush it away. So if I can hang on I think it will have to be LA on Monday.

Have you managed to get much sleep through all this? I can't sleep but my OH seems to have no trouble falling asleep for 8 solid hours and I'm so jealous.

Tftpoo I did the same. I was booked in for medical management and the day I got there I just couldn't go through with it. Luckily they booked me in for the surgery the next day. Friday seems like such a long wait.

My experience of the hospital was really good. Very kind and caring staff so I wouldn't be worried about having it under local anaesthetic if that was the only option. I'm sure they would look after you brilliantly and it's only very quick.

Fingers crossed for a good weekend and that your bleeding doesn't get too heavy.

Thanks for your message HN. It's good to talk to people who've been through the same recently. The EPU nurse I saw at my local hospital this morning was great. I have some unresolved emotional issues from the birth of my twins which were making it particularly hard for me to contemplate being awake for the surgery at the same hospital so she was amazing and rang round other EPU's in the region to find me a slot to have it done under GA somewhere else. So I will be able to have it under general on Monday morning, but I just need to travel a bit to get there. I really couldn't have hoped for any more and she was so incredibly nice. Just going to get through tonight and tomorrow hopefully without the bleeding increasing then get it all done on Monday.

Hi everyone, really cant believe im posting on this thread, so shocked by todays events. 11 weeks pregnant and started with slight bleeding on Wednesday, which worsened with cramps last night. Booked a private scan this morning and prepared myself for the worst, I went in expecting to see a baby with no heartbeat but all that was there was just an empty sac measuring roughly 8 weeks.
Im 100% confident of my dates as there is only 1 possible date for conception so the sonographer said in that case, it showed no evidence of a baby ever developing. Trying to get my head around the fact that I have been loving a baby that was never even there if that makes sense.
Have to go to GP next week and see where we go from here but the bleeding and cramps have picked up a lot now so hoping the sac will pass of its own accord.
I was so confused as to what had happened and how but have read up on it a bit so feel a little more clued up. Will it actually be classed as a miscarriage or something else because no embryo ever developed?

Hi all - Sorry for losses of new members xx

I am feeling much better today - I passed my last clot 2 days ago, no more cramping no more bleeding. I feel as though all is passed now which is good, and I have a scan on Monday just to check. I feel in a much better place now although I have been stuffing my face lots, and have been out cycling with DH today to a local farm and finally haven't been triggered to tears by the toddlers & babies which I have been avoiding previously. I feel hopeful. I will be joining you on the ttc afer mc paws and I have my fingers crossed for you!

So sorry to hear your news strawberry with what you are going through, it must have been an awful shock for you. I hope you can find support on this thread for what you are experiencing, as I have - loss is hard to deal with, but it's really helped me posting on here. I believe all pregnancy loss is still classed as a miscarriage - although maybe someone who has been through the same thing may be able to confirm this.

Personally I feel that Miscarriage isn't just loss of a baby, it is the loss of the hopes , dreams and future we had planned for our baby too.

Hope it's ok to join in. I was six weeks along after ivf and the scan yesterday showed no sac. I have been bleeding for several days but the scan showed a thickened lining so I don't know how long it will take. I'm feeling the need to connect with others who have experienced this as it's never happened to me before. So.....hello :-)

Thank you happywifey, your absolutely right, for 7 weeks since finding out I was pregnant I have began to love the baby, plan for its arrival, imagining how perfectly it would fit into our family and looking forward to the day of seeing my 5yr old with her brother/sister but none of that was meant to be this time. Im really struggling with the fact that no baby was even there, just an empty sac, so I didn't even have an actual baby to grieve for but for 7 weeks in our minds and hearts that baby was very real and due to join us around Christmas. Just cannot get our heads around it at all.

Hello mmegateaux, im sorry you are having to join us on this thread, so sorry for what is happening and all the other ladies on here going through this horrendous time x

Hello mmgateaux and strawberrycrumble. So sorry to hear about your experiences. It's such a world altering thing to hear that the baby you've been thinking about, planning for and loving, even for a short time, is no more. I am going for surgery to remove everything tomorrow and I know the end is in sight physically but emotionally I know this is going to take a while to get over. I have found it really helpful to post on here, it helps knowing others are going through something similar at the same time. Everyone around me is sympathetic but sometimes it's empathy rather than sympathy that I need.

Thank you Tftpoo I hope everything goes as well as it can do tomorrow. I have to go to the GP tomorrow to see what happens next but I passed the empty sac this afternoon so im hoping it will be a scan that shows it has happened itself.
Whilst im so sorry to read of all you ladies having awful experiences, it definitely helps to be on here and know Im not on my own. I hadn't told any of my family I was pregnant and wont be telling them of what has happened this weekend as we have not long lost my dad and I cant bring myself to cause any more upset for everyone.

wifey glad you're feeling much better...i won't be on here much now, as I'm on the other thread I told you about now...private message me if you ever need to chat...i got a bfn today and have started bleeding so no joy for me this month...was so hoping to be one of the lucky ones who got a bfp rather than af after mc Look forward to seeing you on the thread, haven't really started chatting to anyone on there yet as they all kinda know each other already and I feel like I'm butting in haha! A couple of names on there I recognise adventure pops on there from time to time, not sure if you remember her...i really should post more on there, as being on here too often brings it all back. But I like to see how people are getting on...speak soon xxx

Flowers to newbies, sorry for your losses

Thanks Tftpoo and Strawberrycrumble for your kindness. I was bleeding right from test day so it was never certain but blood test hcg was doubling so it did start to look positive. I don't know how I feel other than exhausted and sad. Spent all day at the hospital today while they ruled out ectopic pregnancy! Agh. Really glad to share hugs/empathy on here and I really feel for you both.

Allmy good luck, I'm really sorry you didn't get a positive today but I'm crossing every thing that it comes soon.

Tfpoo how are you? Did it all go ok? Strawberry what did the GP say and Mme I'm sorry to see you here too.

I am feeling very emotional today and I think it is partly because my bleeding has now mostly stopped so the physical is over which leaves me time to think about the emotional which I hadn't been doing much. I don't feel ready for this to be over but equally I want it to be over. We aren't going to try again, we are counting our blessings with ds, but it feel so final and unfair- 9 weeks ago a bfp turned my world upside down but now it's upside down again for all the wrong reasons.

Hi Purpleprickles thank you for asking, the GP examined me and was confident that nature had taken care of it and that everything that needed to come away had done, no further treatment or anything needed. Just have lighter period like bleeding now and the odd cramp here and there. Very up and down though, the emotional side if it all is draining. Im so sorry to see you haven't had a great day either, it just truly is horrible.
I have decided to take 2 weeks off work and give myself some time to get my head around it all. I don't think we are going to try again either but I cant say for absolute definite yet, but at the moment im swaying towards no. I have a 5yr old DD for who I am truly grateful.

Paws I know exactly what you mean ! I tell myself to try and stay on the ttc thread more than this one as it does bring back sad memories but then I think of all the help I got from people on here when I was frightened and confused and I'm pulled to pop on and check if anyone needs help !!!

Think the reason you haven't seen me much on the other thread is I don't have much to report as we're not properly 'trying' yet ! I'll pm you my 'story' then I won't have to bore the others reading through it again !! Haha

Sorry you got a bfn - Maybe July will be th one for you !!