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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

984 replies

mrsb0710 · 09/03/2015 21:55

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

OP posts:
gingerbreadmam · 14/03/2015 11:11

if im so sorry that is auch sad news i hope u r coping as well as u can.

i second what west has said. contact the unit and tell them how difficult you are finding it. if your scan is early wednesday you may even be able to go straight to surgery afterwards. i know wednesday is a while away yet. if you arent spotting and the scans you have had havent shown any movement then hopefully u will be ok until then.

you could also discuss options of going into hospital to pass it if it did start on its own in the meantime.

i am so sorry you are going through this Thanks

Niffertiti · 14/03/2015 13:08

If, so sorry for you ThanksThanksThanksThanks. It's such an absolutely horrible time and hanging around waiting for the NHS system to go through the motions just feels cruel. I phoned and made very clear to my EPU that I knew this pregnancy wasn't working out before I went for my second scan and discussed options with them for how quickly I could get booked in - they seemed pretty sympathetic to me wanting it done surgically asap. In the end I started to miscarry naturally the night before the second scan so I didn't need surgery (fingers crossed anyway). But maybe you could start by finding out how quickly they might be able to get you in after weds/Thursday?

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/03/2015 13:58

Thanks ladies. I am coping pretty well actually. I did my crying last weekend and came to terms with the loss. I also kind of expected it given my history. I also started losing my symptoms which is why I booked in for a private scan.

I have a 2 year old DS who is keeping my spirits up with his cheekiness! Smile

gingerbreadmam · 14/03/2015 18:07

oh im glad you are managing ok.

have you had any investigations into your mc's?

your ds sounds like a perfect distraction but if u need to talk or get things off ur chest this is a great place. Thanks

fromwesttoeast · 14/03/2015 18:34

Glad you are coping ok, although there is no taking away the sadness of mc.
There is a recurrent mc thread somewhere on this board. If you are thinking of getting tests done I would suggest you have a look over there. I think you must be entitled to investigations on nhs if you are in England, as this is your third mc.

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 14/03/2015 18:45

Thank you all! ??

My GP did mention that I'd be eligible for investigations when I told her about what they found at the first scan. I will go and see her to discuss this once this is all sorted.

marshmallowpies · 15/03/2015 07:47

Just wanted to give Thanks and hugs to everyone on this thread today - my MC started on Mother's Day last year so I have been remembering the time I spent on this board & all the support I had at the time - it really helped. Can't remember all the names of the posters but Bakingtins I remember you were very kind to me.

I'm one of the lucky ones - was pregnant again 2 months later and now have 5 week old DD2, and I know just how lucky I am to have her.

I'm relieved in a way that Mothers Day doesn't fall on the same day every year, it means today isn't the actual date when the MC started, that comes in a few weeks, but I will always remember my loss today as well as feeling grateful beyond belief for my two beautiful DDs.

Thank you to everyone here who helped me and Thanks to those who are finding today a tough one. Xxx

MyNameIsSuz · 15/03/2015 08:15

Hi everyone, can I please join your thread?

I'm in the middle of a MC at the moment, which was only picked up at my scan two weeks ago. I should have been 13+1 but there was just a 10 week sac and a 5 week foetus. They booked me in for a rescan in ten days time.

I wanted to get it over with and move on, so called and asked the scan to be moved forward and to be booked in for surgery the same day, and got everything moved to Monday last week, a week since my first scan. I started lightly bleeding over the weekend so thought maybe it was happening naturally. I was super prepared for it to finish that day and to be able to move on soon.

At my scan they found the sac was still there but the foetal pole was double the size and foetus was one week bigger. They said it could be the hormones making it grow, but to be on the safe side we should rescan in a week to check if a heartbeat has started. It won't have, and I'm booked in for surgery after my scan tomorrow, but a little part of me keeps hoping it could be. Rationally I know it won't be a living foetus, it's measuring eight weeks behind and even if I'd got my dates wrong, I'd have conceived after a positive test. So if we see a heartbeat tomorrow I don't know where that would put us, something would still be very wrong and we'd have some difficult decisions to make.

I've also been bleeding all week, just lightly though and no clots or anything, so hope that it's happening naturally is starting to disappear. I'm hoping for the surgery tomorrow so I can get back to normal. Have been working from home all week as I didn't want to be at work if it got worse suddenly, but didn't feel I should take sick leave if I end up needing it after surgery. I'm tired of this and I think my boss soon will be too!

Niffertiti · 15/03/2015 09:42

Oh suz, your story is heart rending, it almost made me cry and I'm definitely not a weeper! I'm so sorry you're going through this, I've just suffered a miscarriage at 7ish weeks but I knew all along something was up so I tried not to get my hopes up too much. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to get to your dating scan and then have to go through this. Take care of yourself, I think you're entirely justified in working from home if that's what you need to do. If you were bleeding a bit from your arm your boss wouldn't expect you in the office after all.Thanks

fromwesttoeast · 15/03/2015 10:03

So sorry, Suz. In my last mc the empty sacs grew a little between scans, but I knew they couldn't be viable as they were so very far behind. The whole hospital thing just drags it out really and gives that cruel false hope. I also bled lightly while waiting.
It's good you are being assertive about getting things sorted out for yourself. Stay strong. Flowers

MyNameIsSuz · 15/03/2015 10:05

It hasn't really hit me emotionally yet, though I think I don't tend to feel like it's real until the scan, and a couple of close friends have miscarried recently so I went into the scan with some trepidation. I hadn't really had any symptoms, but I didn't have with my ds either so I thought that's just how I am. I think the possibility that something could go wrong was on my mind, but I didn't really think it had if that makes sense.

Sorry to hear about what you're going through, it's horrible and I hope you get through it soon.

fromwesttoeast · 15/03/2015 10:47

I think being mentally prepared for the possibility of something going wrong is a big help when it actually happens. I have found it helped me not to allow myself to emotionally invest in a pregnancy until things are much more certain.
It's not easy, but we've got to get through these things somehow.
My recent mc was fully over by December. Best wishes to those of you going through it right now.

Original poster
mrsb0710 · 15/03/2015 11:35

Flowers to all you brave, strong women. MN and the ladies on here have been, and will be a continuing shoulder to cry on.
It is such a horrible thing to go through, but we are here for you.

Off to the in laws today, just not feeling it for mother's day today. Hopefully next year I'll be able to celebrate as a mum.

OP posts:
minibmw2010 · 15/03/2015 11:41

Ladies, I wonder if I can join you Hmm I'm 7+6 after an IVF cycle where we had 2 embryos returned. Had heavy bleeding after a week but a positive test regardless. Clinic and EPU both scanned me on Tuesday as about 10 days behind with no heartbeat. We have another scan on Tuesday which would put me at 8+1 to confirm diagnoses and then decide on next stage. I keep looking at photos of the DS we are fortunate enough to have who is 3.5 and thinking I'll never have a little baby again as this was our last chance really as we were paying ourselves. Big hugs to everyone x

fromwesttoeast · 15/03/2015 12:19

Sorry for the pain you are going through mini Flowers

MyNameIsSuz · 15/03/2015 14:48

Oh mini, that's really tough Flowers

gingerbreadmam · 15/03/2015 15:23

to all the new ladies that have had to join this thread, i am so sorry and my thoughts are with you all at this terrible time.

it is such a difficult thing to go through. i can completely sympathise with people keeping the faith, i did for a week between scans altho i had to wait 2 weeks. by the 2nd week i think i knew. i also spotted / bled very lightly for weeks until i had erpc.

i will keep my fingers crossed incase there is the possibility of a good outcome for anyone but for all others thoughts are with you, feel free to sound off on here. think i went through all the motions with my mmc and still am to a point altho i am now pg again!

chubbymummy · 15/03/2015 16:56

Welcome to all the newcomers, sorry you've had to join us. The ladies on this thread are a great bunch who have got me through some tough times.

gingerbreadmam · 16/03/2015 07:27

ive had a scare last night. just sat watching tv and felt something come out down there. ran to the loo and it was bright red blood.

still bleeding bit like a period now. spoke to epu they cant see me until wednesday.

after what happened last tme i am petrified. cant believe it.

fromwesttoeast · 16/03/2015 08:32

Oh Ginger, I'm so sorry! Obviously this does not necessarily mean the end of this pregnancy. You will have read on mn about women who have had sudden bleeds but everything has still been ok. Hopefully you will be one of those.
I'm shocked EPU won't see you until Wednesday. If you go to gp do you think he/she could call and get you in sooner?

gingerbreadmam · 16/03/2015 08:46

they said they just dont have any scan slots available ive tried twice so think theyre being genuine.

debating a private scan today but dont know whether to just wait it out.

yes i posted and have lots of amazing responses with positive news. i so hope thats me.

thank you for your support means a lot Thanks

Niffertiti · 16/03/2015 10:02

Oh ginger, I'm sorry to hear this, it must be very scary having been through a mc already. But it is normal to bleed a little, so they say, and there's no reason it should go wrong this time. You know all this of course. Fingers crossed for you!

gingerbreadmam · 16/03/2015 10:04

thank you so much niff. it is easing off now and i am trying to stay positive and that is helping

i know youre right. thanks so much Thanks

fromwesttoeast · 16/03/2015 11:06

Keep us posted Ginger. How are you feeling?

gingerbreadmam · 16/03/2015 11:12

i feel fine no cramps or anything just emotional i guess.

keep thinking this cant happen to me twice (not mc, i know people can have lots) but for it to mirror the mmc.

Then i keep trying to stop myself getting hopes up, dont know if u remember when i had my mmc but i had tried to convince myself after first scan everything could be ok so i dont want to do that again really either.