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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Headwreck & Hope. Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

984 replies

mrsb0710 · 09/03/2015 21:55

Original threadtotal headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today

Support for those who are/might be experiencing MMC/MC/early pregnancy loss.

OP posts:
happywifey · 28/05/2015 20:32

I wanted people to know for that very reason purple. I told my work to let my team know. When I returned I also sent an email to everyone saying that I have suffered baby loss in pregnancy and therefore am currently on restricted duty. I work in health and social care and feel as though we should not hide miscarriage. Shame can be created when we hide things. By telling people, and being open, it has really helped me accept my loss and feel stronger. I also attached a leaflet to the email called 'someone you know' from the miscarriage association so my team could understand a little about how I might be feeling and pointers of what to say.

Update - I am still waiting for natural mc to happen. I am currently 2 weeks in to waiting, and went for a scan today. They said most start within 3 weeks so I am hoping it will start then. Baby was the same size today as two weeks ago. Feeling ok today, and hb is supportive. However, have been suffering from some anxiety and panic attacks and have put on 7 lbs in the last week which is not so good.

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 28/05/2015 22:04

purple I hope you make a speedy recovery after the ERPC. Take work at your own pace. It took me two weeks to recover from mine (but my body is generally pants in that aspect). You will be ok, just takes time Flowers

adventure that was a really good idea about work...sounds like you really helped yourself if you know what I mean, attaching the leaflet was a great way to inform people about your feelings without having to verbally relay everything again and again to everyone. X

wifey was wondering how you were, it can take a long time to happen naturally sadly, bout two and a half for me, hopefully it will go smoothly for you (failed to mc naturally 'completely', tried med management twice and failed, ended with ERPC for retained products a month after bleeding started) But that's just my naff body, I hope you are ok, you sound positive. Will be thinking of you Flowers

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 28/05/2015 22:38

Hugs to the new ladies having to join us x Flowers

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 28/05/2015 22:41

Confused oops wifey just realised it was you who done the email to work colleagues with attached leaflet, not adventure...
Sorry ladies,...get confused sometimes with all the names!

Lilliana · 29/05/2015 07:50

Purple that's a really interesting way of looking at it. I was a bit the same as so - only telling the people who knew I was pg. A few more people know now and have been great but there are still a few friends who don't as I'm not sure how to bring it up in conversation.

wifey so sorry you are still waiting. Hope it starts soon and goes ok. My natural mc was fine and not as scary as I'd read it could be. Flowers

happywifey · 29/05/2015 17:21

lilliana have started spotting today and feel as though a period is starting.

I wonder if anyone knows whether alcohol is contraindicated in miscarriage pain due to loss of blood? I know it should not be used in labour but that is because there is a live baby, and possible other drugs used. I only ask because I absolutely hate opiates which the epag has given me , and they make me really unwell, and I would much rather use something I know helps with severe period pain and obviously is a one off.

happywifey · 29/05/2015 17:43

paws thanks for the thoughts. I do feel more positive. I am glad that it's now started so I can move on. How are you?

Lilliana · 29/05/2015 19:31

Sorry wifey I have no idea. Are you in much pain?

happywifey · 30/05/2015 08:41

Not yet Lilliana I suppose I am just pre empting what may happen. At present it's just brown blood no red ( tmi) and mild cramping as if I am going to start my period. I had an awful nightmare last night about adoption And divorce and woke myself and dh up shouting. I hope it starts soon.

Has anyone been given oxytocin before to start contractions? I was reading up on this and they use it to induce labour so wondered about mc.

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 11:07

That's about as painful as it got for me - some cramps that I coped with on paracetamol for a few days and then bleeding like a period. I know some have it worse but just to let you know they're not all like that. Fx yours is ok.

happywifey · 30/05/2015 12:06

I suppose I have been reading some of the stories and focusing on how painful it could be. My experience of periods and previous labour have been awful so I suppose I was expecting the worst with contractions etc, but good to know it's not always like that. Do you mind me asking, did you feel as though it you had contractions and were you aware when you passed the sac?

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 12:56

I was only aware I had passed the sac when I found it in my knickers :( Not anywhere near as strong as contractions, just uncomfortable cramping and then a normal ish period amount of bleeding. Hth

happywifey · 30/05/2015 16:43

I am sorry for your loss lilliana. It seems people have really different experiences of mc. It's really feeling like a painful period right now for me. I haven't used painkillers yet but am having a glass of red.

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 30/05/2015 17:38

wifey I'm ok thanks, I don't have any dc's yet and this mmc was a shock. Trying to think about ttc again, but think we missed the O daySad...definitely new I was O'ing 2 weeks post ERPC, but ttc seems like a scheduled operation now, mc has sucked all the fun and magic out of possible pg.
I'm glad things have started for you. Fc it will go smoothly for you. I definitely knew when I passed the sack as it was large, but can't compare the pain to labor contractions as I've never had them, I did get contractions, but can't 'compare' if you know what I mean. But I found it quite painful, bearable though. Everyone is different though, you will be fine I'm sure x

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 30/05/2015 18:23

I know its irrelevant to this thread...but PLEASE can someone post a link to a 'ttc after mc' thread that is still going? I really need some advice and am driving myself bonkers symptom spotting in the tww...
Thank you in advance to any replies, and sorry if it seems insensitive of me posting on here, I hope you understand, I've been where some of you ladies are, and my thoughts are with you xxx Flowers

Pandapops8 · 30/05/2015 18:36

Evening all,

I found out about my mmc on weds aft after some very heavy and completely unexpected bleeding with heavy clotting. After rushed hospital visits and checks but unfortunately no scans (didn't seem to b any sonographers working weds pm anywhere) we managed to find a private scan that evening at 8.30pm as we just wanted to know. I shouldve been 11+3 but my fetal pole was tiny and was only about 6 weeks so we think she died around 8.5 weeks and started shrinking. Absolutely heartbreaking when you don't even realise anything is wrong at all.

After hardly sleeping, I woke up at 6am and continually bled and cramped for over 3 hours and spent the whole time on the toilet - I think this was my body passing it all through. It was extremely painful at some points. We headed back to the hospital at 10am, in the half hour drive, I managed to soak through 2 pads and my leggings with some serious heavy clotting. Got checked out again and the doctors said my cervix was only open a small amount so they don't think I've even really started mc.

Since coming home and over the past 48 hours, I'm still bleeding a little bit but more like spotting, nothing anywhere near as bad as those 3 hours on Thur. Do you think I've mc naturally? I have a scan on weds to see what's left. I'm hoping it's already happened.

My dp is taking it hard, trying to bottle things up which is difficult. I've told some people, a couple at work and then a couple of close friends. We were due our scan next week and were so looking forward to tell people our news. We hadn't told parents or anything until mmc, it was heartbreaking telling them.

reading up on mmc, I can't believe it happens in 1% of pregnancies, that's such a small number and I'm now part of that statistic. It's just so sh**ty and Mother Nature can be so cruel. My baby had died and my body didn't know. I still had my bump up to Thursday, now my body is slowly going back to normal but I feel so betrayed by it.

God this is so hard ladies xxx

Allmychildrenhavepaws · 30/05/2015 19:47

Sorry to hear your news panda Flowers
Hope it's all over for you so you can try and heal, x

iamadaftcoo · 30/05/2015 20:37

Hi everyone, please can I join? First pregnancy. Had sharp pains on Thursday at 5+4, so was referred to the EPU where a scan was done. Nothing was seen so they were hopeful it was just too early and did blood tests to check my hormones. Sadly my HCG was very low and the repeat test today was lower so I am waiting to miscarry.

However, I am in limbo as the HCG today was only slightly less than Thursdays, so they are concerned it might be ectopic. I have to go in for another scan on Monday. Which is my birthday!

I am totally devastated. Just sitting here waiting for bleeding/pain to start and came here looking for hand hold.

Feel like I will never get my baby.

Flowers to all here going through this.

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 20:40

So sorry panda. I hope the worst physically is over for you. It is really shitty. You are always welcome to come here to say however you feel, we've all been there and no one will judge. Take care x

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 20:44

Sorry you're here too daft. Really bad timing with the scan but hope you get some answers on Monday. Have you got some RL support over the weekend? Is this your first pregnancy? Stats are good for your next pregnancy to be fine but try not to worry about that now. Look after yourself and come and talk anytime xx

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 20:45

Wifey hope the red is going down well and it doesn't get any more painful.
All my I'll try to link but not sure if I can on my phone hang on...

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 20:46

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2378045-TTC-after-MC-6-the-lucky-one-for-all-of-us hope this works. You can always pm me if you want to chat.

iamadaftcoo · 30/05/2015 20:51

Lil yes I have a wonderful DP, DM and siblings all being very supportive so I am lucky. It is technically my second pregnancy as had a termination six years ago at 19 - you can imagine how crap I feel about that now!

Lilliana · 30/05/2015 20:58

Don't feel bad - it is definitely not because of any decisions you made in the past. You are more fertile in the months after mc so if you want to try again you are quite likely to get pg again quite quickly and be careful if you want to wait!!
I'm glad you've got such good support around you. Hopefully as it is fairly early it won't be too painful - mine wasn't as I explained above, I had a natural mc at 8 weeks but no idea when the baby actually stopped growing. Sorry waffling now Flowers

iamadaftcoo · 30/05/2015 21:11

Thank you so much for your kind words, and sorry for your loss.

My intention is to try again almost immediately, so we'll see. Just want answers and for this to be quickly resolved now.