What’ll happen if I ignore family court order?

[Pearsinspace]

My DS is 4 and due to start reception in September. His dad & I have (and have had for 3 yrs) 50:50 shared custody (not court ordered) and things have always been amicable..until he got a new girlfriend at the beginning of the year. I think she’s been in his ear about trying to get full-custody or something, I don’t know, but my ex decided to take me to court because he didn’t agree with the school I wanted DS to go to. He chose another school next to his house (we live in the same city but opposite sides) and it was going to be a specific issue order that focused only on the school issue and could have been completed in time for his September start. However, the school I chose is far better in every way and I think ex knows that so he’s now bringing a child arrangements order & is accusing me of all kinds of abuse against him and our son (none of which are true). Because of his allegations Cafcass are involved and have to investigate, which takes a minimum of 14 weeks, which means there is no way DS can start school on time because now the child arrangements order and school issue will be heard together. He also turns 5 in September so there’s no way he could start reception the year after either. I can’t stress how excited he is to start school (he still thinks he’ll be starting as normal), and how difficult it will be for him to start far behind his peers. He’s anxious & shy and starting mid-year (considering it’s his first ever time going to school) will be awful for him. I feel that ex has zero regard for him & zero understanding of how difficult this will be for him. I could put up with ex’s behaviour when it was only affecting me, but now it’s affecting my son and such a huge area of his life, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’m just not dealing with his bullying and BS. I plan to take my son to the school I chose (which he has got a place at) on the first day as normal. I just can’t let him down. Ex & I do week on/week off so I’m hoping he will see how important this is for DS & just take him on his week but obvs I can’t guarantee that. What kind of consequences would I face from the court by doing this? Thank you for any advice :)

If a child doesn’t start within a couple of weeks of the school term starting both schools will deem him not having a place then you will be left with no place. I would go for an emergency hearing specific issues order.

I’ve been advised by my solicitor that if I do just take him to school the courts may not trust me to stick to any further rules/orders they put in place.

Do you have this in writing?

TBH at this point if it was me - I'd be sending one e-mail to both LA, both schools (likely won't be there till few days before terms starts), Cafcass and my solicitor - all CC in- stating clearly what the issue is two school places - also stating you put in a dispute for CB and are waiting to hear back - that you have child slightly more than 50% of time and GP and denstist are registered with you and that your understanding was you were both initally happy with this school. Be clear and factual.

State that you believe (or quote in in writing ) that this is the legal case if no court date occurs before school term date.

Ask what happens to each place - will he lose both if he starts nether on first day.

What happens if you start him at one school - and if your ex tries to take him to other school week later. If he's over 5 - and he's not attending on ex week or vice verse will attendance fines kick in.

Asking what happens if he starts late - how late - how is that in his best interests. What happens if court says he need to go to one school but the place is gone?

Asking what they understand the position to be - if they ring you rather than e-mail back stating what your understanding of the phone call was - and if their differs to e-mail you there understanding.

If the advice differs - e-mail everyone again and point it out - that they are telling you different things.

I'd want in it writing from everyone involved what risk is in taking him first day and risk of not.

It may be you can't take him in his first school day at your prefered school - but I'd want to know what that meant for the school places - rather than guessing or relying on internet posters.

Also why would they trust the ex who has reneged on his agreement with op?

Also this is what an admissions team will look at. You need to decide what you comply with. Also you HAD agreement. Ex has changed his views and cannot have ticked the box saying you agree. He has lied.

No advice but this sounds incredibly stressful for you. I hope it works out and they seem him for what he is.

This is a good approach.

Even if the OP does have something from her solicitor in writing, the solicitor cannot advise on what happens regarding the school places.

Whilst you can sue a solicitor who has given you wrong advice, I don't see how that would help in this situation because the consequences for the OP if the solicitor has got it wrong are not financial.

You must be in a very strange LEA. I cancelled a school place recently for a school place that I did not apply for on supplying a Child Arrangements Order and proving I had PR . I got the CAO by going on gov.uk and applying for an emergency hearing which came through within a week (at christmas). Can you apply for an emergency hearing now and get a judge to rule on this before September?

@pearsinspace I know lots of people are questioning your DC being accepted to 2 schools in 2 LAs. My family member's ex took their DC and started them in another school (different LA) without her permission. Whilst the DC was living with ex, she was due to start secondary school and they were already in proceedings. Family member had already applied to school that they jointly agreed on before ex took them but then ex applied for a place near him and DC was accepted. Court ordered both schools to keep both places open until CAO had been dealt with and school place ordered by Judge. DC started attending school near ex in September then Judge ordered DC to be returned to family member and start the other school after proceedings had finished in December so DC started school near family member in January. Has Court ordered both schools to keep places available until proceedings are finished?

@Dartsplayer ? It’s not yet been to court. There’s no court order. Just parents disagreeing. Yes, it would be best for a court to hear this case urgently! But you know - backlogs are immense!

@teksquad op doesn’t hsve a CAO. Not been to court yet. Doesn’t get child benefit. That’s not the only criteria though if you look at the legal position and what other evidence LAs want.

Not much sense of urgency with the case though!

yeah i know. A CAO is what is needed here, clearly.

Courts don’t care that he has gone back on our agreement (I have proof that he has) as “parents have the right to change their minds” apparently. My solicitor has requested the case be heard urgently a number of times (although I’m not sure if they specifically asked for “an emergency hearing”) and courts have not treated it urgently

I would ask your solicitor to show you what type of application they made. You need an urgent specific issues application that will be heard within a week or two given the urgency of the situation, setting out that this is for a school place in early September. I can’t see the court ignoring this.

you can request one yourself and ask for it to be an emergency hearing dur to the time criticality: https://apply-to-court-about-child-arrangements.service.justice.gov.uk/steps/opening/start_or_continue?

Its really unfair to prevent this little boy starting school with his peers.

I meant in terms of Ex signing the form for applying for his choice of school. There are rules about agreeing a school and signing that both parents agree. He cannot have done that on his firm can he? That’s what you need to speak to your LA about. Read the rules.

You don’t seem to have a solicitor who is doing much for you. Legally he cannot sign a school application form saying you are in agreement. That meds to be pursued with your LA. Plus as a parent the other LA should speak to you. After all they believe you are in agreement with the school place!

Who will have your son the week school starts? If you then take him to school as planned on the first day. If your ex has him I expect he will do that and say he is settled into the school.

When is your first hearing?

I still don’t have a date! Despite my solicitor requesting it be heard urgently AGES ago

Is your child attending school op?

Hi OP, how's it going? Is your son in school?