What’ll happen if I ignore family court order?

[Pearsinspace]

My DS is 4 and due to start reception in September. His dad & I have (and have had for 3 yrs) 50:50 shared custody (not court ordered) and things have always been amicable..until he got a new girlfriend at the beginning of the year. I think she’s been in his ear about trying to get full-custody or something, I don’t know, but my ex decided to take me to court because he didn’t agree with the school I wanted DS to go to. He chose another school next to his house (we live in the same city but opposite sides) and it was going to be a specific issue order that focused only on the school issue and could have been completed in time for his September start. However, the school I chose is far better in every way and I think ex knows that so he’s now bringing a child arrangements order & is accusing me of all kinds of abuse against him and our son (none of which are true). Because of his allegations Cafcass are involved and have to investigate, which takes a minimum of 14 weeks, which means there is no way DS can start school on time because now the child arrangements order and school issue will be heard together. He also turns 5 in September so there’s no way he could start reception the year after either. I can’t stress how excited he is to start school (he still thinks he’ll be starting as normal), and how difficult it will be for him to start far behind his peers. He’s anxious & shy and starting mid-year (considering it’s his first ever time going to school) will be awful for him. I feel that ex has zero regard for him & zero understanding of how difficult this will be for him. I could put up with ex’s behaviour when it was only affecting me, but now it’s affecting my son and such a huge area of his life, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’m just not dealing with his bullying and BS. I plan to take my son to the school I chose (which he has got a place at) on the first day as normal. I just can’t let him down. Ex & I do week on/week off so I’m hoping he will see how important this is for DS & just take him on his week but obvs I can’t guarantee that. What kind of consequences would I face from the court by doing this? Thank you for any advice :)

An interim order is one that is set temporarily while the issues are addressed. I think in your case, that is what I’d be applying for now. Without a a court order, you could absolutely stop 50/50. I’m not suggesting you stop contact completely but unless your ex is agreeable to bringing your child to school, I’m not sure you have much choice. What does your solicitor advise? This is an unusual situation.

Also @PearsinspaceI presume Cafcass are aware that your child is due to start in September. Did they not say anything about this?

He’s been allocated a school based on what’s seen as his resident address.

you legally are required to send him in.

so is his dad.

Without a court order you are open to all sorts of issues though including him collecting ds and taking him to his.

I don’t know about it but can you get a prohibited steps order in place urgently to stop his dad removing him?

I’m also confused as to how he has 2 places in the first place. Only one address is considered resident address usually.

I applied with my address for the school near me and his dad applied with his address for the school near him. Council haven’t clocked on cos they’re in different LAs

They did but seem to have accepted that he will be unable to start

As they are 50:50, why is it not controlling of the mum to dictate her preference of school, which is on her side of the city and necessitates extra travel for the dad?

I'm not saying either parent is right. On the face of it, it's going to be a difficult decision for the judge and hopefully they will determine what is best for the child. I just can't understand this mentality that dad has no say in his child's schooling, when the child lives 50:50 with each parent.

I’m sorry that’s really weird. What does your solicitor say?

The issue here is that they agreed to the school and chose it together until the new girlfriend came along and interfered with the co-parenting arrangement that had gone well before then. In this situation, I would be sending my child to the school as he’s supposed to. The ex has got to explain where all his false allegations and about turn has come from. I’ve seen this happen so many times with an interfering 3rd party. Indeed it happened to me. The child’s education is more
important than some girlfriend inserting herself where it’s not needed.

I think what would help is if you consider how your ex is going to get your child to the school you chose which is next to you. Also how getting your child to the other school is problematic for you. This means you will be seen to have considered both options but also the merits of the better school.

I don't know if @prh47bridge can help with this at all and what the court would look at specifically.

Is your child's GP and dentist near you or near the dad? Sometimes things like that is used to determined where the child's primary residence is when it's 50-50 care.

Which of you claims Child benefit. If it’s you then your address is his official address and his dad’s application is potentially fraudulent under the eyes of the local authority he applied with. Vice-versa if you applied and put yours down. A child can’t be offered two school places, legally, so you need to figure out which one is his legal application ASAP.

In that case he might lose both places as it will be considered acting unlawfully.
You can only apply in one LA area. He can only have one registered home address

The situation you portray is valid, but I can't see what bearing it has on the OP's situation as she doesn't say that they agreed on a place. In fact she says clearly in the initial post that he didn't agree with her choice of school.

They each applied for places with their own LA and bizarrely both received a place for their preferred school. How is one immediately more valid or a point of control than the other when 50:50? As it is going to court, it doesn't appear to be cut and dried. (The new girlfriend seems to be an irritant, but is irrelevant.)

Edit typo.

If you see OP’s post at 10.31, she states that he changed his mind after choosing the school together. The OP states that their amicable co-parenting stopped when he got a new girlfriend.

I don’t think I’d be within my rights to halt 50/50? We have equal parental responsibility so if I refused to let him see him wouldn’t that look really bad in the eyes of the court?
You're right. Don't listen to the advice of those who clearly have no understanding of the system. Whatever you do, don't stop your child going to his dad as previously agreed.

In terms of the school, ask your solicitor for advice. Also speak with your LA and explain the situation.

Why would you not send him to the school?

In fact, you will get more difficulty, not sending him because you are expert.Probably say you're denying him schooling

Startum at the school and it will take weeks, if not months for the court to be involved by then your son will be settled. Bit difficult to move him schools when he's settled and made.Friends isn't it

Then tell them! At the time of the application from father his main address was with you.

This really should have been sorted at applicantion stage 6 months ago.

An interesting, or convenient contradiction from the very clear statement in the OP in that case. 🤔.

I agree, contact must continue. However, the issue is whether the ex will return the child so that he can go to school or indeed whether he will facilitate the schooling on his weeks. Sometimes, once the child is at school and it may be logistically difficult, contact will be tweaked to accommodate that. This recently happened to a friend of mine (child starting school and logistics) so they varied the order. It’s not like this situation though.

Maybe, I was just saying as I saw it from the information given.

I agree, contact must continue. However, the issue is whether the ex will return the child so that he can go to school or indeed whether he will facilitate the schooling on his weeks
Then he'll be the one looking very bad in court and the order will likely go completely against his wishes.

Indeed. This is a very unusual situation.

Wrong post!

Who claims the child benefit? Because in this case yhd child’s address will be attached to the parent who claims child benefit. Additional supporting evidence - where is child registered with doctor and dentist?

LA’s will usually rely on this when parents eong agree whoch address the child is resident at first the purposes of school admissions