What’ll happen if I ignore family court order?

[Pearsinspace]

My DS is 4 and due to start reception in September. His dad & I have (and have had for 3 yrs) 50:50 shared custody (not court ordered) and things have always been amicable..until he got a new girlfriend at the beginning of the year. I think she’s been in his ear about trying to get full-custody or something, I don’t know, but my ex decided to take me to court because he didn’t agree with the school I wanted DS to go to. He chose another school next to his house (we live in the same city but opposite sides) and it was going to be a specific issue order that focused only on the school issue and could have been completed in time for his September start. However, the school I chose is far better in every way and I think ex knows that so he’s now bringing a child arrangements order & is accusing me of all kinds of abuse against him and our son (none of which are true). Because of his allegations Cafcass are involved and have to investigate, which takes a minimum of 14 weeks, which means there is no way DS can start school on time because now the child arrangements order and school issue will be heard together. He also turns 5 in September so there’s no way he could start reception the year after either. I can’t stress how excited he is to start school (he still thinks he’ll be starting as normal), and how difficult it will be for him to start far behind his peers. He’s anxious & shy and starting mid-year (considering it’s his first ever time going to school) will be awful for him. I feel that ex has zero regard for him & zero understanding of how difficult this will be for him. I could put up with ex’s behaviour when it was only affecting me, but now it’s affecting my son and such a huge area of his life, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’m just not dealing with his bullying and BS. I plan to take my son to the school I chose (which he has got a place at) on the first day as normal. I just can’t let him down. Ex & I do week on/week off so I’m hoping he will see how important this is for DS & just take him on his week but obvs I can’t guarantee that. What kind of consequences would I face from the court by doing this? Thank you for any advice :)

They are though - I’ve had the interview. All they said was they will recommend the school issue gets heard urgently but it can’t be guaranteed. I don’t think cafcass have the power to order that he must start at one of the schools. I do already have a solicitor and have very minimal contact with ex

I cannot see how anyone can advise delaying school start when he legally should be in school. That doesn't make sense at all.

If there is no formal CAO in place and just a family arrangement between yourselves is that really 'in the eyes of the law'?. If you do not have a court order in place at all.

Sorry if I've missed it but what did Cafcass advise on the school situation?
Are you going to continue to share 50/50 going forward with this CAO application or going to request EOW?

Surely once CAO granted this will then demonstrate the legal residence on a majority basis?

Cafcass seemed more concerned with safeguarding and all they said re the school was they’d recommend it gets heard urgently but couldn’t guarantee it.
What is an EOW? Maybe I’m just not getting the abbreviation!
Its not exactly 50:50, I have him very slightly more, does that mean I’m the resident parent?

Did they actually say to not let him start school until the hearing, or just that they couldn't confirm which school? Might you have misunderstood?

Every Other Weekend. Usually with a midweek visit during the off week.

I have him very slightly more, does that mean I’m the resident parent?

How I understood it - in such case I'd get straight onto HMRC try and get child benefit in your name - to stengthen that position and get your NI paid - in your long term benefit.

However I am confused why your solicitor is saying you are not and that it's equal.

I’m sorry you are in this situation.

If you don’t start him at either school, you’ll lose both school places.

I’d take him to the school you originally chose for now, and explain you didn’t want him to end up with no school places.

If his dad does the same, on his time, eventually the schools will have something to say about it. Looks like you have to back everyone into a corner and see what the fallout is. Currently no one is being definitive and it’s not at all helpful.

And apply for child benefit. If the doctor and GP is close to your address then you may be determined to be the resident address.

If I am understanding you correctly there currently is no court order in place regarding your son and the hearing that could produce one is unlikely to happen before September?

So why cant you just send him to the school near you as planned Monday-Friday. If your ex keeps him off when he has him then the school and authorities will soon get involved.

I think in the absence of any sensible answer from your solicitor or Cafcass I would do this.

See if you can meet with the headteacher of the school you have chosen before the start of term and explain the whole situation as follows:

• You and your ex have had an informal 50:50 arrangement for the last four years which worked fine until recently.
• You want and fully intend for your son to take up his place at the school, and will take him there in the first week of term.
• Your ex has got your son a place at a different school of his choosing and you cannot do anything to stop him taking your son there in the second week instead.
• You were hoping to have this dealt with in a specific issues hearing before the start of term but your ex has now made a number of untrue allegations about you and Cafcass have had to open an investigation.
• You understand that your son legally has to start school this September and he wants to and is excited about starting.

Ask them how they can support you and your son in the next few months until you manage to get a court hearing.

You need to do everything to show that you are a good parent who is acting with your child's best interests at heart. I would make the argument that if your ex had your son's best interests at heart he would not try to take him to a different school every other week, which would be absolutely ridiculous, but would try to keep the other school place open for him until after the hearing.

I would also assume that your ex will send him to his chosen school whenever your son is with him.

If the first week of term is your week (it sounds like it is) then the way it comes across is that you are sending him to the school you originally agreed upon, as planned, and then your ex is buggering everything up by taking him to a completely different school the following week, which clearly isn't in his best interests.

If you keep him off school until the court hearing, but your ex sends him to the other school every other week, not only will he almost certainly lose his place at the school you have chosen, but it looks like you're just keeping him off school and your ex is the responsible parent who sends him to school.

It would be a little different if you could guarantee that neither of you will send him to school pending the hearing (although you'd most likely lose both places), but if your ex is playing dirty I don't think that's likely to happen. In which case you'll end up with your son only having one school place and you looking like a bad parent for not taking him there.

I would ask the council actually. They will have encountered this before. Assuming it's a state school.

In my experience, changing the name for the child benefit is a lengthy process. Your ex will be notified that you have sought to change the name and evidence will be requested from both of you. I suspect that process could be just as lengthy as the court process.

This.

OP - for the purposes of school admissions the address wgere the child lives is generally wgere the child spends most of their time. However in your case you and your ex now cannot agree, you’ve between you used two addresses and now there are two places. And neither of you now agree.

LOOK UP THE SCHOOL ADMISSIONS POLICIES FOR BOTH LOCAL AUTHORITIES

In the absence of a court order, and in the absence of parental agreement, it’s now Actuallg up to the local authorities involved to decide whoch is the valid address.

If child gets sent to the ‘wrong’ school and it later transpires to be the case your child could lose theif place at whichever school THEYVE gone to.

Email both admissions teams, explain the situation, provide the parenting split, who claims the CB, where GP is. The LAs will then decide which address is valid.

Stop dithering, or your child will end up with no school place and you’ll end up potentially having to travel ridiculous miles to a third local authority gof a school place or home schooling (whoch will go down a treat given the stance your ex seems to have taken)

Legally, this is incorrect.

School is not mandatory.

Education is.

Your solicitor is talking from a child arrangements point of view. Frok a school admissions perspective ig is different: if you read through a bunch of local authority admissions policies they will say over and over - a child csn only have 1 address for the purposes of school placement application and allocation

Accept the school you want him to go to and reject the other one. Not fair on the child to not send to school and another parent may really need the other place

This. One of the placeshasbeen ontained fraudulently and will be canceleld once everyone is back.from summer holidays and the admissions authorities realise. Make sure its not your one is all you have to do.

There is no child anywhere that is simultaneously attending 2 schools.

As you have him more, why didn’t you apply for child benefit? It’s unusual to let dad have it if he has him less.

@Pearsinspace Were you married to ex? If not you have parental reliability.

Compulsory school age co-ordinated admissions specifically exclude children having a place at two schools. Accept the one you have been offered.

Thank you for the advice. If I take him to school I chose will the other one automatically be cancelled if he doesn’t show up on the first day then? I’ve tried to cancel it but the council refused because I wasn’t the one who applied for it

This. There is no current order preventing him from going to the school you are planning to and it would be detrimental to not start until any further decisions are made. Selfishly, generally court also are going to want to keep the status quo if at all possible so him already being at a particular school may be a positive for saying he should remain there which is the one you want. Start him as you planned to.

You've accepted his actual place, he goes there for his first day, the other school will need to have confirmation from them that he has attended and removes him from the register.

Your own LA should tell the other one that he already has a place and they should also withdraw the offer before that point, particularly as his father doesn't have any evidence to show he is entitled to make that decision/application - but even if they don't, the above paragraph describes what happens when he doesn't arrive.

How did it get to this? What's the main reason for wanting different schools? Ratings, religion, or distance to each other's house? If the latter, surely you should have accepted that for fairness, it needed to be somewhere in the middle?

You haven't responded to the query as to where he goes to nursery and where most his friends will be going.

I find it incredible that this was not discussed before. And what's these allegations of abuse all about?