What’ll happen if I ignore family court order?

[Pearsinspace]

My DS is 4 and due to start reception in September. His dad & I have (and have had for 3 yrs) 50:50 shared custody (not court ordered) and things have always been amicable..until he got a new girlfriend at the beginning of the year. I think she’s been in his ear about trying to get full-custody or something, I don’t know, but my ex decided to take me to court because he didn’t agree with the school I wanted DS to go to. He chose another school next to his house (we live in the same city but opposite sides) and it was going to be a specific issue order that focused only on the school issue and could have been completed in time for his September start. However, the school I chose is far better in every way and I think ex knows that so he’s now bringing a child arrangements order & is accusing me of all kinds of abuse against him and our son (none of which are true). Because of his allegations Cafcass are involved and have to investigate, which takes a minimum of 14 weeks, which means there is no way DS can start school on time because now the child arrangements order and school issue will be heard together. He also turns 5 in September so there’s no way he could start reception the year after either. I can’t stress how excited he is to start school (he still thinks he’ll be starting as normal), and how difficult it will be for him to start far behind his peers. He’s anxious & shy and starting mid-year (considering it’s his first ever time going to school) will be awful for him. I feel that ex has zero regard for him & zero understanding of how difficult this will be for him. I could put up with ex’s behaviour when it was only affecting me, but now it’s affecting my son and such a huge area of his life, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’m just not dealing with his bullying and BS. I plan to take my son to the school I chose (which he has got a place at) on the first day as normal. I just can’t let him down. Ex & I do week on/week off so I’m hoping he will see how important this is for DS & just take him on his week but obvs I can’t guarantee that. What kind of consequences would I face from the court by doing this? Thank you for any advice :)

I really think posters saying one of us is DS’s resident parent (or that I am his resident parent) or that he can only have one resident address are wrong - maybe that used to be the case but it doesn’t seem to be anymore. Correct me if I’m wrong? I’d love to be wrong! And for my address to be his resident address. I actually have him very, very slightly more than 50/50, I don’t know if that makes a difference? Also could I get the child benefit changed to my address or would they need ex to change it?

Ex will be seriously pissed off if I do this and he may, out of spite, take him to the other school he has a place at on his week, which I know would be ridiculous but he is ridiculous

That cannot happen. Take your child to the school nearest to you and register him. This automatically voids his offered place at the other school He cannot be registered at two schools.

If he has settled i9n one school by the time of the court hearing then they are likely to decide he should remain there.

Why do you think we’re wrong?

For the purposes of school admission there can only be one resident address. If parents disagree, admissions will look at which address has the child benefit, GP, dentist, died yhd child spend more time etc Feel free to look it up.

zif he claims yhd child benefit then I’m afraid it’s likely he’ll be seen as the resident parent

Put a counter claim for child benefit in to the DWP and let them decide which parent should claim it

@Pearsinspace No. we are not wrong. Who gets child benefit? You or ex? At the doctors, which address is registered? Yours or his? It is totally the case now. If you don’t get child benefit as mum, why on earth not? Ex is possibly the registered parent then. Why would you let him have the benefits? Talk to the Local authorities. 50/59 - another child mess up.

Family lawyer here. Do you have a hearing date, or were directions made at a triage type hearing in your absence? It would be very unusual that such a time sensitive issue would be delayed for completion of a full section 7 report. If I were your solicitor I’d be requesting an urgent hearing to deal with this issue.

@Pearsinspace You are right that he can have two resident addresses in a practical sense but when it comes to school place allocation only one can be taken into consideration when the parent's don't agree. The things they look at to determine that are the things listed above, GP, dentist, CB. If they are all listed near your ex's address and CB to him then he would be seen as the main resident parent unfortunately.

@Pearsinspace Is it possible for you to get some advice from a decent solicitor about this? You urgently need some clarity. If you take your son to your chosen school in the first week of term and then your ex takes him to his chosen school the following week (or vice versa) it is going to cause chaos. If you keep him off school until the court hearing then you might lose both school places.

I assume your ex is on the birth certificate and has parental responsibility, otherwise he wouldn't be able to apply for a school place? Were you married?

OP, you say the CB is claimed by your ex, but is your child registered at your local doctors and dentist or nearer to where his dad lives?

@Pearsinspace Yes. See a family solicitor urgently.

Speak to your solicitor first but yes I would try to get the child benefit moved to you on the basis you have him more than 50% of the time. You need to leverage any advantage you can.

This 100%

Cafcass will interview your child and if he is happy at the school, then they will be fine with him being there. But it’s very reasonable of you to carry on things in motion in the absence of their being some kind of an order
I think what you’re saying above is that there are ongoing court proceedings not that there is an existing order that you’re going against

I’m going off advice given to me by my solicitor who has said: “he does not have one registered address in the eyes of the law, he has two joint residences”. Also, in my experience of this situation through communicating through email to the council, it is totally possible to be allocated two school places. He has been! Also, obviously both solicitors are also aware of this situation and have never said it’s not legal/possible. Both councils are aware and neither have or are even willing to void the other place (as I said, I tried to cancel the other place and they refused). I have even met with the headteacher of the other school who is fully aware he has been allocated two places and are still waiting to see which place we take up. Ex registered for his school using his address, I registered using my address. CB is registered to ex’s address, dr & dentist is my address. I don’t think I can make it any clearer but if anyone has any hard evidence to show that it is not legal for him to have two school places and I can somehow void the other place leaving him with only the place at the school I’ve chosen I’d love to see it! Cos that would be the dream…but I really don’t think it’s possible

My solicitor has requested an urgent hearing (did so quite a while ago now) but unfortunately the courts failed to prioritise it. The issue is that ex is refusing a hearing that deals with the school issue alone (which could have been heard in time for his start date) and wants all these “abuse” claims investigated as part of it, even though the knows that means DS won’t be able to start school on time. This has resulted in cafcass getting involved and saying that they now have a duty to investigate the claims and it can now longer be a simple SIO. Cafcass have recommended to the court that they hear the school issue urgently and separately but they say they can’t guarantee this and with us now being in August, I really can’t see that this is going to happen in time. I’ve been advised by my solicitor that if I do just take him to school the courts may not trust me to stick to any further rules/orders they put in place. But my argument is that I’m acting in my son’s best interest and there is no current order to say I cannot take him to that school, the case is just that it’s currently undecided.

@Serendipitystardust I’m wondering what your opinion is on whether I’d be able to switch the child benefit to my name/address? Thank you :)

But will either of the schools hold his place until after the hearing? It seems very strange advice from your solicitor to not let him start school when the consequence of that could be that he loses both places.

Do you and your ex both work? If so what will you do about childcare while you wait for him to start school?

This is a really good point. If he doesn't show up to school, after a few weeks, will he even have a place?

Did solicitor mean parental responsibility? Is he registered at Dr at your address? No idea about changing child benefit! Why did you not apply from birth?

No he’ll probably lose both places if he doesn’t start in time I imagine…which could be a good argument for me starting him on time?…

I’m a funded post-grad student with very flexible study time so I tend to have most of the week free when I have him but if my schedule ‘conveniently’ changed maybe him not starting could interfere with my study (and therefore ability to provide for him)? Ex is self-employed and fits his work around childcare so it won’t affect him

Yes dr & dentist at mine. Can’t remember why it was put in ex’s name at birth, but obviously we were together then so I never thought it’d be an issue

Are you missing out on National Insurance credits as a student? If so, that is a crucial reason why the Child Benefit should be in your name. You have potentially missed out on years of credits towards your State Pension. The CB recipient is eligible for full NI credits until the child is 12 yrs, so also very important for periods of unemployment.

You can put in a rival claim with DWP online. They will contact your ex and if he objects they will determine who should be awarded the CB. As the GP etc are at your address, it will probably be you.

Given he turns 5 during the Autumn term, legally he doesn’t have to start till January, so you do have some wiggle room. Can you let your school know that you intend to do this?

Do you know if they decide who the CB goes to based on income of each separated parent? Will the lower earner automatically be awarded it?

Will the lower earner automatically be awarded it?

It's not about income it's about who doing more care for the child being claimed for.

It's based on who has the child more - so if it's 50-50 and in dispute HMRC decide - and they look at things like dentists/GP and care etc.

So I think it would be very worth putting in a rival claim as soon as possible and seeing what HMRC actually say.

No, it isn't income based, as such. Everyone is entitled to claim, even if a high earner. But certain high earnings are subject to paying all or a portion of it back through Self Assessment.

It can be awarded to a high earner over a low income parent. It all depends on who claims or who is the "resident" parent. If you have over 50:50, this is easy. If not easy to determine, the child's registered address for GP, school etc will usually be used.

I know it sounds off for a high earner to claim it and not be able to keep the money, when the other parent is a lower earner who could keep the money. But, having the Child Benefit award can come into play for other things like school admissions, or Child Maintenance, I believe.

If you live with a partner or are a high earner yourself, be aware of the High Income Child Benefit Charge. Info is all available on the website, as it depends on the household income, not just the parents of the child.

There is no way CAFCASS would be happy to delay a child starting school. They only care about the well neing of the child. I also find the 2 school plaves baffling. I have recently been through similar (for different reason) and the only way to get a new school place in my area (several counties away from child's originally allocated place) was to formally give up the place allocated at old address.

You need to see a solicitor I think as I don't think you can trust what you are being told by the ex.