What’ll happen if I ignore family court order?

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My DS is 4 and due to start reception in September. His dad & I have (and have had for 3 yrs) 50:50 shared custody (not court ordered) and things have always been amicable..until he got a new girlfriend at the beginning of the year. I think she’s been in his ear about trying to get full-custody or something, I don’t know, but my ex decided to take me to court because he didn’t agree with the school I wanted DS to go to. He chose another school next to his house (we live in the same city but opposite sides) and it was going to be a specific issue order that focused only on the school issue and could have been completed in time for his September start. However, the school I chose is far better in every way and I think ex knows that so he’s now bringing a child arrangements order & is accusing me of all kinds of abuse against him and our son (none of which are true). Because of his allegations Cafcass are involved and have to investigate, which takes a minimum of 14 weeks, which means there is no way DS can start school on time because now the child arrangements order and school issue will be heard together. He also turns 5 in September so there’s no way he could start reception the year after either. I can’t stress how excited he is to start school (he still thinks he’ll be starting as normal), and how difficult it will be for him to start far behind his peers. He’s anxious & shy and starting mid-year (considering it’s his first ever time going to school) will be awful for him. I feel that ex has zero regard for him & zero understanding of how difficult this will be for him. I could put up with ex’s behaviour when it was only affecting me, but now it’s affecting my son and such a huge area of his life, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’m just not dealing with his bullying and BS. I plan to take my son to the school I chose (which he has got a place at) on the first day as normal. I just can’t let him down. Ex & I do week on/week off so I’m hoping he will see how important this is for DS & just take him on his week but obvs I can’t guarantee that. What kind of consequences would I face from the court by doing this? Thank you for any advice :)

@vivainsomnia I’d read the thread! They agreed then ex changed his mind and applied for another school from his address! They have used 2 addresses for one child.

Where friends are going is besides the point. Few nurseries are linked to schools - YR application is separate from nursery and nursery usually has no bearing on YR allocations. These are based on published admissions policies that rarely include nursery attended. Op has the school place based on her address and ex a different school based on his.

Many of us think dc needs to go to the school chosen by OP. Court case not heard and CAfcass cannot stop a dc lawfully going to school.

LA admissions do talk to other LA admissions and op should tell her LA admissions about the second school and go through the situation with them and sea if they will speak to other LA and get the school place withdrawn that ex haz obtained.

If the father is on the BC they share PR

@TizerorFizz OP hasn't clarified when the ex agreed to her choice of school and when he changed his mind.

For example, the child was 2, OP said that she liked her local school for the child and he nodded and mumbled, yes, it looks good. Should he be held to that "agreement" years later?

Now, applying for schools is approaching, open events are being held at the schools and he prefers his local school. Is he not allowed to change his mind before school applications have opened and to want his opinion to be equally valid? OP said all along that they are 50:50, so it's presumably equally split school runs. (Now OP says a little more than 50:50.)

This is obviously hypothetical as OP hasn't given any details, but from the little info provided so far on this, I wouldn't feel comfortable declaring that he wasn't allowed to apply for a school when OP refused to consider his choice.

If however, he was firmly in agreement with OP's local school, had visited it and confirmed that now applications had opened she should apply using her address, THEN changed his mind, I understand why OP would feel aggrieved and blindsided.

Good luck to OP, here's hoping for the best outcome for the child.

If you have him even very slightly more you will be awarded the child benefit. Apply for it and they will award it to you. He can challenge it but if you have evidence you have him more than 50% of the nights in a year (e.g. communication between you stating the schedule) you will definitely win.

OP I asked chat GPT for the legislative basis which supports a child being offered only one school place (even across different LAs). I would send this to the manager of school admissions in the LA of the “other” school and ask that they withdraw the offer on the basis that two cannot be made and you will be sending child to the other school.

1. The School Admissions Code (Statutory Guidance)

• Issued under: Section 84 of the School Standards and Framework Act 1998
• Most recent version: September 2021 (as of August 2025)

🔹 Relevant sections:

• Paragraph 2.1 — “Local authorities must make only one offer of a school place to parents on the offer day.”
• Paragraph 2.2 — Describes coordinated admission arrangements, ensuring a single offer is made per child across all local authorities.

📌 This guidance applies to all maintained schools, academies, and free schools in England. It has statutory force—local authorities and admission authorities must comply with it.

🧾
2. School Standards and Framework Act 1998

• Section 84 empowers the Secretary of State to issue the School Admissions Code.
• Section 86 outlines the general right of parents to express a preference for a school.
• Section 88M introduces the requirement for coordinated admissions across local authorities.

This law underpins the entire admissions framework and ensures that parents apply through their home local authority—even for schools in other areas—and receive only one coordinated offer.

🧾
3. The Education (Co-ordination of Admission Arrangements) (England) Regulations 2008

• These regulations set out how LAs must coordinate with each other and with admission authorities.
• Regulation 7 reinforces that the home LA is responsible for making a single offer on behalf of all preferences.

🔍 Summary:

Legally, a child can only receive one school offer at a time through the coordinated admissions process, even if they apply to schools in multiple local authorities. The entire system is designed to prevent multiple simultaneous offers to avoid duplication and to allocate places fairly.

Whilst you're not wrong, if they disagreed on the choice of school they should have gone to court months ago to get it resolved. The fact that he is now deliberately drawing out the process so that a decision won't be made before September reflects very poorly on him.

I would assume that he will try to take their son to his chosen school in the second week whatever happens, which means the OP needs to take him to her chosen school in the first week to avoid him "winning" by default.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom Yes, it clearly needed resolution earlier. Ditto CB too. Who lets the dad have this and dole out 50% back to mum?

50/50 was always going to be difficult for school and yes, ex has a new girlfriend and they want a local school so he’s changed his views.

I know the op thought it was a benign relationship but it’s changed and they needed at least mediation much earlier.

OP what horrible situation.
You’ve been given legal advice and you’re wondering whether to follow it.
First, this subject isn’t my area of expertise. But the advice given in answer to questions on MN about the subject I know about is mostly wrong. A while ago someone pleaded for non experts to stay off legal/technical posts if they aren’t qualified to comment on. So treat the advice here with a critical eye.
The only thing I would say is ask your Solicitor what would happen if your ex decides not to wait for the hearing and chooses to register your son at his choice of school in week 2. Does the hearing still go ahead or as the child is then registered at a school could your ex’s solicitor apply for it to be vacated and with what chance of success?
If a judgement is awaited can the schools named in the application give the allocated places away? If there is no place at one or both schools the Judge is to decide on what direction can the Judge give?
If I was a Judge I’d be livid if a Court was asked to make a decision about school allocation late in the day and then one party decided they couldn’t be arsed to wait for the judgement.
The poster who says legally children don’t have to start education until the term after they turn 5 makes a good point - can you accept and defer the place at your chosen school - if you can what does your Sol think about this as a way reducing the risk of there being no place?
I hope you get a good outcome.

You could have just taken a comment from somebody who has actual knowledge and experience of school admissions. Nobody who works in the field is going to appreciate being sent a Chat GPT c&p or a pdf of The Admissions Code (2021), tbh.

Thanks for your advice.

I wanted to provide OP with the legislative basis because she doesn’t accept that it’s wrong for two places to be offered, despite being told this by knowledgeable people on the thread.

OP also says that she has made both schools aware of this, as well as her solicitor, and none of them have flagged it as a concern. They could probably do with having it signposted to them in that case.

@heroinechic It’s highly likely the schools are not the admissions authority. They didn’t admit the child. Unless VA the local authority admissions (2 of them) have received allegations from each parent. I would talk to the LA dad chose and make sure op has the relevant details re Doctor etc.

@TizerorFizz I know that the schools are not the admissions authority which is why I suggested OP get in touch with the manager of the school admissions team at the LA. OP says the Council are already aware but won’t cancel the offer because she isn’t the one who applied for it. They should be aware that this shouldn’t happen (as should the schools), but seemingly aren’t.

sorry for delay in posting. I do appreciate some of the advice so thanks for that but I have to ask, posters who advised stopping 50/50 or only ‘letting’ ex have DS every other weekend only….i don’t know, maybe I didn’t make it clear that he’s the father, on the birth certificate, is trying to get FULL custody, earns more than me and has a solicitor. In what world would I ever be able to just magically stop him from seeing him half the time? Obviously he’s not going to agree. I’m genuinely curious about these suggestions (and a bit worried in case you advise any other single mothers to do it)…were you suggesting that I just refuse to answer the door when he comes to pick him up? Just point blank refuse to let him see him? Cos I’m pretty sure that would go down terribly for me in court

I would not recommend doing this.

Do you have confidence in your own solicitor?

I would want to understand what happens if (a) your son doesn't start at either school in September (i.e. would you lose both places?) or (b) you don't take your son to your chosen school at the start of term but your ex takes him to his chosen school in the second week.

I think (a) is a no win situation for both of you and (b) means he wins by default. Not taking him to school is only acceptable if your chosen school agrees to hold his place until January and you can get a court order prohibiting your ex from taking him to his chosen school in September.

There is absolutely no way that by Sepetember he will still have 2 valid school places. There's nothing to stop your ex contacting the one near him and accepting it and telling them to let other authority know to cancel the other one. I have literally just done this. You need to get in first at yours. Once the place at your exs is gone, its gone for good and another child will be given it, or vice versa.

You're both also being v selfish btw. There will be kids on the waiting lists at both places whose parents are desperate for a reception place. Why arent you getting on with contacting your LEA?

@heroinechic The OPs LA should contact dads LA admissions.

Once a dc goes to school, 50/50 can be challenged if one parent cannot facilitate the school run and meet needs of dc. It’s not about carving dc up like a cake. You have a solicitor too. You have already decided ex can get your child benefit, so I think you give in tohim.

He doesn’t get the child benefit we split it, it’s just registered in his name as it’s never been changed from when he was born (can’t remember why we put it in his name but we did)

Please listen to your solicitor not randoms on mumsnet. You're absolutely right, you can't just unilaterally change contact arrangements especially when you have a court application in progress.
I'm sorry about the school delay. Unfortunately I think he's not going to be able to start school until the court hearing, which is screwed up but that's the way court works.

He does get it though - what he does with it after he gets it is irrelevant, he claims it. You can't change that without his agreement.

Not sure how many times I’m going to have to repeat myself…..I have tried to cancel the place at the other school. I even said I’m the primary parent (I have him a couple extra nights a month) The council told me this was impossible because I didn’t make the application. Tbf how do the council know who I am? I could be any random person claiming to be his mother trying to cancel the place. Even if they asked me to send evidence of being his parent, I wouldn’t be able to prove that I’m his primary parent (even if I had him 90% of the time) as it’s not court ordered. So even if they were willing to cancel it I couldn’t prove I had the right to. Maybe this is their issue. Secondly, the schools and council are fully aware of the situation and both are happy to keep the place until the start date. It’s really not that helpful to keep being told a situation that I’m going through (the details of which I’ve repeated multiple times) is not happening or is not possible.
Thirdly I’m not being selfish. I applied for one school place and am completely unable to cancel the other place, which I did not apply for in the first place! And also neither school is at max capacity anyway

Are you an ex able to talk at all? It sounds like now that your DS is school age and given the distance between you that alternating weeks might not be the best option for splitting 50:50.

Has he been for transition visits at either school? He won't be compulsory school age until January so you could wait til then but obviously it us not ideal not to start at the same time as his classmates. That said if you really think his Dad would take him to the other school I think that the worst outcome for your DS to attend different schools each week - although I can't see either school or LA going along with that.

I’m trying to post the legal advice from my LA. If your LA is told there are two places allocated, they should take that info seriously even if it’s with another LA.

The next 3 pages

Please put pages together of order is incorrect! Note in particular the rights you have as a parent to ask about your child’s school place! Last section.

The child benefit goes to him - what he does with it after doesnt matter.

You both originally agreed on yhd school you applied to. And you made the application. You guys were in agreement.

Take whatever evidence yoy have of that to your solicitor and tell him this needs sorting.

Your LA are wrong (and they get points of law wrong all the time) , btw, but that may go in your favour since the chances are if you asked a school admissions team to decide they could well see the parent in receipt of CB as the ‘main’ parent for the purposes of school admissions.