What’ll happen if I ignore family court order?

[Pearsinspace]

My DS is 4 and due to start reception in September. His dad & I have (and have had for 3 yrs) 50:50 shared custody (not court ordered) and things have always been amicable..until he got a new girlfriend at the beginning of the year. I think she’s been in his ear about trying to get full-custody or something, I don’t know, but my ex decided to take me to court because he didn’t agree with the school I wanted DS to go to. He chose another school next to his house (we live in the same city but opposite sides) and it was going to be a specific issue order that focused only on the school issue and could have been completed in time for his September start. However, the school I chose is far better in every way and I think ex knows that so he’s now bringing a child arrangements order & is accusing me of all kinds of abuse against him and our son (none of which are true). Because of his allegations Cafcass are involved and have to investigate, which takes a minimum of 14 weeks, which means there is no way DS can start school on time because now the child arrangements order and school issue will be heard together. He also turns 5 in September so there’s no way he could start reception the year after either. I can’t stress how excited he is to start school (he still thinks he’ll be starting as normal), and how difficult it will be for him to start far behind his peers. He’s anxious & shy and starting mid-year (considering it’s his first ever time going to school) will be awful for him. I feel that ex has zero regard for him & zero understanding of how difficult this will be for him. I could put up with ex’s behaviour when it was only affecting me, but now it’s affecting my son and such a huge area of his life, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’m just not dealing with his bullying and BS. I plan to take my son to the school I chose (which he has got a place at) on the first day as normal. I just can’t let him down. Ex & I do week on/week off so I’m hoping he will see how important this is for DS & just take him on his week but obvs I can’t guarantee that. What kind of consequences would I face from the court by doing this? Thank you for any advice :)

If your ex feels as strongly as you do about the school placement, then I assume he will be doing exactly the same on his week on? What’s the distance between the two schools? If you are living on different sides of towns with a 50/50 arrangement is there a reason you didn’t consider applying to school more in the middle of you both to minimise the travel time for one parent?

They initially chose the school together because it is a school they preferred. Then the child's dad changed his mind when he started a new relationship

No, she is just providing extra information.

Placing bets on the girlfriend doing the school run on his time and that's why the location of the school is the problem.

As there is no court order there is no formal agreement. You are the resident parent. I’d go to court and get a court order. He’s not going to do 50/50 is he!

@TheFormidableMrsC That’s why there needs to be a court order. To clarify arrangements and stop squabbling! The order would state the school.

He is doing 50/50. He’s applied for the court order.

Sorry. I see your ex wants a court order. You just need to state why your choice is best as it had your joint agreement. Plus can you get into other schools now? I’d also let go of 50/50 and try for more for you. Also it’s what’s best for dc! Not his transport arrangements so you need to say why the chosen school is best for dc and why you will facilitate it.

You need to read the updates.

Apologies! The op needs to state what’s best for dc - court are not interested in dads transport issues. So which school meets his needs

This is all correct but the problem is there is unlikely to be an order this side of Xmas, Cafcass have said he can’t start (which I find hard to fathom) and the OP has 50/50. What needs to be established here is who claims the child benefit and at what address are things like GP and dentist. Also there can’t be two school places despite there being two different LA’s.

@TheFormidableMrsC Yes. There must be a resident parent. Not starting school isn’t in dc interest. CAfcass are odd at times! As there’s no court order - start at the school where he has a place. There’s no law against it if op is the resident parent and has child allowance, doctor registration and her address was used for school application forms.

Indeed but what happens on Dad’s week in the meantime? Potentially Dad could just start him at the other school. I think contacting both LA’s at this time is the immediate proactive thing to do.

No court order needed.

The child’s resident address is all that needs to be established, surely and then the LA informed that had the school placement aquired under the non residential address isn’t a valid application.

Ok, so your child has a place at two different school in 2 different local authorities?
Contact the admissions manager in both local authorities immediately.
Explain what has happened.
You can't hold two places. Simply because by doing so you're stopping another child potentially being given a space. You need to supply the local authorities with the correct information, proof of child benefit, registration with gp which can both be used to determine the address. Again, this is because for school admissions there cannot be multiple addresses and multiple applications, otherwise even without bringing separated parents into the mix, you'd have people using grandparents and friends addresses AS WELL AS their own.
This should have been rectified by yourself and the local authority as soon as you were aware of 2 allocations.
The onus is on you to correct the information they hold as your child almost certainly wouldn't have been awarded one of the places. Regardless of 50/50, particularly when not court ordered, for school admissions purposes, a child has one address only. This falls outside the court case, which is a civil matter.

@TheFormidableMrsC No. one school place only. This child goes to the school where the resident parent’s address allowed them to go. If it’s the first school on school allocation day, because the OPs address was used, it’s that school. If dad has lied about being resident parent, it’s not the school he has selected. LA admissions must be told. Op can do that. CAfcass cannot tell op not to send dc to school.

50/50 just doesn’t work in so many cases and women just go along with it. Thinking logically about a child getting older, there’s problems on the horizon. Dc need friends near school, be able to stay for clubs, go to after school meet ups etc. The sharing of dc is for parental benefit. Often when dc get a bit older it’s a nuisance. Two sets of clothes, routines, bedrooms, homework routine etc. Children thrive when they aren’t pass the parcel and argued over because of who picks them up!

If you've done the applications then you must be considered the main parent (I'm assuming he hasn't also applied from his address?)
Who gets child benefit? Whose dr is he registered at? Etc

If child benefit is with you then email the council that your ex lives at and say that child doesn't live with ex, they just spend time there, child lives with you (attached proof Like child benefit and the gp address) and ask that the current application is withdrawn

Then also write to your own council saying the same thing and ask that if the father is in touch wanting to cancel the application then you do not consent

I think people have this wrong - in my experience of this situation there is nothing wrong with having two school places in different authorities. One of the schools is aware of the situation and so is one of the councils. They’ve both said we could keep the places and just let them know which one we want when term starts. They really didn’t seem too concerned. My solicitor’s never said it’s a problem either. It’s actually ex who claims child benefit & he then transfers half to me. Will it really make a difference where the child benefit is registered?

I’ve been told by my solicitor also that DS doesn’t have one resident address because he lives between us so has two joint resident addresses

In these cases where the parents do 50-50 and they can't agree things like GP, dentist and CB will be what decides which home is the primary residence. It's not good for you that your ex gets the CB but is your child registered to a GP and dentist near you or him?

i tried to cancel the other school’s application with the council but they wouldn’t let me as it wasn’t made by me

I think you need to make sure both schools and both councils are aware as don't assume they are all talking to each other. The 50/50 isn't court ordered at the current time. For child arrangement purposes, no, the child doesn't have one 'resident' address. For school admission purposes it has to be one address (otherwise this sort of issue would happen a lot more than it does as people would be able to claim that a child lives 50/50 with another relative to secure school of preference)
As there is no order in place, you either start him at the school near you or you wait for the outcome of the court case, or you concede and start him at the school your ex prefers. The bottom line here is there is no order in place at the current time.

OP.

Which home address has the GP, dentist, child benefit attached to it?

Did he make an application using his own address?

You don’t call to cancel. You email to explain (to both local authorities and copy each other in) that your child has two school places, that oarents have 50/50, that theres a disagreement on which address is considered the child residence and attach evidence of GP, Dentist, child benefit etc. And then ask them to refer to theif admissions policies to see which placement needs to be retracted.

Don’t do this. The court will keep him at the enrolled school. Enroll him at the school you have chosen - my ex and I disagreed. The judge was like your one is closer and outstanding. Which school has the better ofsted? Which school does he have friends at?

He must have one place and one place only through the LA - take him to that school.

is meditation suggested?