Child protection

[Fairypick]

Hi, this is my story and am looking for any advice or guidance in regards to my post. Please don’t judge.

Almost 10 years ago I had my second child and at around 8 months old they sustained unexplained none accidental injuries these were the injuries caused from the Drs review:
2014 baby was presented by his mother at his GP surgery with bruising and swelling to his feet, she was unable to offer any explanation to how an immobile child could have sustained these injuries, baby was then referred to Hospital and examined by a doctor. Baby was found to have linear bruising on the tops of the right foot as well as bruising on the tip of the right big toe and diffuse bruising on the soles of both feet. There was also a small 0.5 superficial scratch on top of baby’s chest and a small 5mm linear bruise on the posterior aspect of baby’s left ear. A skeletal survey also found baby to have 6 healing fractures to the ribs, which appeared to be old ones.
There were concerns that the injuries may have been caused by either mother or her partner (not the. Baby’s farther) and they were arrested and bailed with no further action due to no evidence an interim court order was granted. It is noted that in a court of law and family court the judge determined either mother or her partner had caused the injuries and a Lancashire finding was accepted as neither mother or partner were accepting responsibility for causing the injuries that baby had sustained although the blamed each other at the time of the incident.
As part of this section 47 enquiry SW spoken to both in question about the injuries and they both remain clear that they did not cause the injuries to baby nor can they explain what happened or how it happened. Mother also shared that if she had of caused the injuries she would not have taken her baby to get treatment as she knows this would have got her into trouble. Almost 11 years on me and my partner are now expecting our first baby together, there has been no DV in almost 7 years and we have remained very positive in our relationship since and very much looking forward to the arrival of our new born baby. We were made subjected to a child protection order in January due to a referral and we were very open and honest about this, we have worked very closely openly and honestly with the LA since the order was made and have never dismissed anything to them. We are due to have a review conference shortly before our baby is born and we currently scored a 3 and this still remains a score of 3 in the report from the SW before the next review meeting. However despite working extremely hard and jumping through many hoops we were informed that they will be seeking legal advice and can not define an answer as to what will happen next this was not mentioned in the very first meeting, we have completed all the assessments and tasks even agreed to any plan needed to ensure we get to be a family and keep our newborn baby, no pre birth plan has been completed yet either. The reason being that that they are seeking legal advice from what they have said is is that we are both saying now that we don’t think either of us caused the injuries, LA didn’t realise the seriousness of the past case either. We have consent to having a virtual baby for 48hrs and will do anything in our power to show and demonstrate we are no risk at all. We understand that they have a duty to ensure children are protected and especially newborn a babies we have never dismissed that, yes it’s difficult to tell what happened or why it happened as we do not know ourself, yes I admit I did at that time failed to safeguard my child who sadly sustained injuries. What am asking is really what do you think will happen, do we stand a chance of keeping our newborn baby and maintaining as a family unit or are we losing a fighting battle that we have worked so very hard for? I fully understand their worries and concerns but surely with a lot of positives and the length of time passed we could be given a chance at this? We are more then happy to be placed in a mother and baby unit, a foster placement or a supervision order, the last thing we want is to have our baby removed. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated and please don’t judge we are not horrible bad people just two people who would very much like the opportunity to show we can care, protect and love our child to the best of our ability with the support of the LA until they feel satisfied that the risks are no longer there. Yes they have expressed in their report that they think the new born baby will potentially be at significant risk of harm when born, but surely if we are not given a chance to prove this wrong they is that not fair at all? We have been told to keep providing for our baby and that they don’t know what the plan of the next steps will be although they have expressed that we have engaged positively since the very beginning and that no DV has been present for many years also.
Thank you for your understanding.

@coffeecakecoffee why would Mumsnet want to protect the OP by removing her post? Because that's essentially what they would be doing. The OP deserves the truth & if there's one place they will get that it's Mumsnet.

I was thinking along the lines of her escaping an abusive relationship, considering she has suffered DV at the hands of her partner previously.

If her partner is the one that abused her child and he is out of the picture, it'll give the OP a better chance of proving to SS that her child will be safe.

I think this thread provides valuable insight about child protection issues and should stay up.

It's not as if posters are supporting or excusing OP or encouraging her delusions.

OP I'm a SW in CP. Hopefully they have explained the process to you, if not get an advocate to support you.

If I was doing a parenting assessment I would need to know what happend to your other 2 (?) Children.

Why you do not have contact with either?

I would recommend a parent and child fostering placement..if I was sure that your current partner was out of the picture.

You still haven't address the circumstances of 1st child.
When are you leaving current partner and does he know this?

DV often starts when a woman is pregnant , so can you leave safely ? If not contact SS and Woman's aid.

I didn't 'pop in' thank you. I was responding to a specific, bigoted post which made sweeping statements about people with BPD. I was not in any way suggesting that the OP is in a place where she could raise her newborn.

She's not planning on leaving her partner.. She only said that in subsequent posts because she didn't get the responses she wanted.

*OP I'm a SW in CP. Hopefully they have explained the process to you, if not get an advocate to support you.

If I was doing a parenting assessment I would need to know what happend to your other 2 (?) Children.*

If you were doing a parenting assessment you would know what happened to her other children, and there is no way you have enough information here to recommend anything much less a specialist foster placement.

This is too fucked yo even for the likes of me.

OP the right thing for your baby is for it to go somewhere where it won't be fucking tortured.

Jesus. This is the worst thing I've ever seen on here. You're a pair of child abusers.

My thoughts entirely, I raised an eyebrow reading that post, even I know a social worker assigned would know about the other two kids , and then recommending an action? Very odd.

Getting a solicitor is not only good advice it's essential. She will get legal aid to cover it. Why would getting a solicitor be a bad idea?

I think the first baby is in the care of his biological father but she was with the current partner she has now when her first baby was abused

No, that was her second child. This pregnancy is her third.

Did she though. They both said it was the other. That little baby has six broken ribs and no one sought medical help , their ribs were already healing. And they were only eight months old when the doctors found that, so someone broke that little babies ribs and then left them screaming in agony as they self healed. Then hit their little feet so hard, they couldn’t withstand pressure and swelled up. They had bruising to their chest and head.

its not just who carried out the initial violence, it could have been her, or him, or both, but that little baby would have been in agony after their ribs, and the op didn’t take them to hospital. There would have been no mistaking that infant was in agony. But neither of them sought medical help.

the only reason I can think why neither of them would, would be because they knew what the doctors would find if they did.

Op you weren't charged because they couldn't prove it. Not being charged doesn't mean you or your partner are not guilty

The fact that you apparently work with vulnerable people is shocking and maybe rethinking if your the best person for that job

You need to leave your partner. There has been domestic violence previously so you need to leave and one/both of you have abused a child

If you genuinely didn't hurt your child then your focus in life should only have been to fight to see your first child not go on to have another

BPD is no excuse for child abuse.

You must let SS do what they need to do and you must be honest because this poor baby doesn't stand a chance if you don't. If they take this baby away from you you will have to find a way to make peace with that.

Those who abuse children shouldn't ever get a second chance because they should be locked up so to have this opportunity again is so worrying.

I don't want to be mean but you are not the victim here your poor babies are.

@PineappleTime
Oh right I can't keep up with it all.

Exactly @Sunnyandsilly I can't believe there's posters on here trying to help the OP run, or keep her baby or feel sorry that people are being 'harsh' to her!

I don't think the OP works with vulnerable people.

As part of the investigation, the police would have disclosed the accusations to her employer. As a result she would have been suspended.

I also don't think (although I'm not a lawyer, so not 100 % sure) that she would find a job again working with vulnerable people.

Her last workplace would probably have to disclose what happened even if she wasn't charged due to lack of evidence.

She maybe a carer sadly some places are so desperate they don’t look too deeply, and if it was a basic dbs they’d not know, she could have slipped through the net. I don’t think she works with kids, or I’d hope not.

Now they’ve moved from blaming the other at the time, to both now saying they didn’t do it and critically don’t think the other did. It’s a blatant lie. They are still protecting themselves and each other over the safety of any child.

so they have been deemed as a potential significant risk of harming this next baby. Quite rightly so. And legal action is under way to remove the baby,

Some social workers are clearly incompetent though - I mean look at all the awful tragedies Local Authorities promise to learn from but collectively seemingly never do.
we had an amazing social worker in the end but the one before her was abysmal. She was literally clueless.
If I was a SW and had the OPs case then based on the information she had shared here my initial recommendation would be that the baby should be removed at birth and permanently. Why is it that an abusive or neglectful “parent” gets a chance to show they’re not as bad as they used to be before the safety of an entirely innocent precious child?

In case you’re still here op. And in case this is a real story-

1. where is your first child?
2. did you abuse your second baby?
3. did your partner abuse this baby?

I would expect that social services will do the right thing by your next baby and remove him at birth.

you are either a danger to him yourself- and not admitted it- or you have been in a relationship for years with a man who tortured your baby.

I don’t think there is any chance of you keeping this baby thank goodness.

I think don’t have any more babies. It’s not for you.

Because everyone is rightly thinking of the bab:y’s welfare and not this poster. Why would anyone want to help her keep her baby?

This is incorrect - OP stated in her first post that she took her baby to the GP - for the swelling and bruising to feet. So she did seek medical help.

Now, only OP knows who was alone with her baby in the 24 hours prior to that - this is where the problem lies. If we believe her and accept she did not harm her child then only she knows who did, if the only other person near her baby was her partner then she needed to leave him immediately. Not doing so leads to the assumption that OP cannot protect her children.

EVERY parent facing care proceedings gets legal aid for a solicitor. Care proceedings are court proceedings, and every parent needs to have legal advice. Having a solicitor doesn't mean she's any more or less likely to keep her baby but it means due process will be followed. If a child is removed and then placed for adoption if due process hasn't been followed this can be challenged. It's protective for the child for their parents to be legally represented.

A solicitor will not help her keep the baby if the baby is deemed to be at serious risk. A solicitor will explain the process to her.

I haven’t posted on this thread before - I was just saying why people might think it’s not a good idea!