Child protection

[Fairypick]

Hi, this is my story and am looking for any advice or guidance in regards to my post. Please don’t judge.

Almost 10 years ago I had my second child and at around 8 months old they sustained unexplained none accidental injuries these were the injuries caused from the Drs review:
2014 baby was presented by his mother at his GP surgery with bruising and swelling to his feet, she was unable to offer any explanation to how an immobile child could have sustained these injuries, baby was then referred to Hospital and examined by a doctor. Baby was found to have linear bruising on the tops of the right foot as well as bruising on the tip of the right big toe and diffuse bruising on the soles of both feet. There was also a small 0.5 superficial scratch on top of baby’s chest and a small 5mm linear bruise on the posterior aspect of baby’s left ear. A skeletal survey also found baby to have 6 healing fractures to the ribs, which appeared to be old ones.
There were concerns that the injuries may have been caused by either mother or her partner (not the. Baby’s farther) and they were arrested and bailed with no further action due to no evidence an interim court order was granted. It is noted that in a court of law and family court the judge determined either mother or her partner had caused the injuries and a Lancashire finding was accepted as neither mother or partner were accepting responsibility for causing the injuries that baby had sustained although the blamed each other at the time of the incident.
As part of this section 47 enquiry SW spoken to both in question about the injuries and they both remain clear that they did not cause the injuries to baby nor can they explain what happened or how it happened. Mother also shared that if she had of caused the injuries she would not have taken her baby to get treatment as she knows this would have got her into trouble. Almost 11 years on me and my partner are now expecting our first baby together, there has been no DV in almost 7 years and we have remained very positive in our relationship since and very much looking forward to the arrival of our new born baby. We were made subjected to a child protection order in January due to a referral and we were very open and honest about this, we have worked very closely openly and honestly with the LA since the order was made and have never dismissed anything to them. We are due to have a review conference shortly before our baby is born and we currently scored a 3 and this still remains a score of 3 in the report from the SW before the next review meeting. However despite working extremely hard and jumping through many hoops we were informed that they will be seeking legal advice and can not define an answer as to what will happen next this was not mentioned in the very first meeting, we have completed all the assessments and tasks even agreed to any plan needed to ensure we get to be a family and keep our newborn baby, no pre birth plan has been completed yet either. The reason being that that they are seeking legal advice from what they have said is is that we are both saying now that we don’t think either of us caused the injuries, LA didn’t realise the seriousness of the past case either. We have consent to having a virtual baby for 48hrs and will do anything in our power to show and demonstrate we are no risk at all. We understand that they have a duty to ensure children are protected and especially newborn a babies we have never dismissed that, yes it’s difficult to tell what happened or why it happened as we do not know ourself, yes I admit I did at that time failed to safeguard my child who sadly sustained injuries. What am asking is really what do you think will happen, do we stand a chance of keeping our newborn baby and maintaining as a family unit or are we losing a fighting battle that we have worked so very hard for? I fully understand their worries and concerns but surely with a lot of positives and the length of time passed we could be given a chance at this? We are more then happy to be placed in a mother and baby unit, a foster placement or a supervision order, the last thing we want is to have our baby removed. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated and please don’t judge we are not horrible bad people just two people who would very much like the opportunity to show we can care, protect and love our child to the best of our ability with the support of the LA until they feel satisfied that the risks are no longer there. Yes they have expressed in their report that they think the new born baby will potentially be at significant risk of harm when born, but surely if we are not given a chance to prove this wrong they is that not fair at all? We have been told to keep providing for our baby and that they don’t know what the plan of the next steps will be although they have expressed that we have engaged positively since the very beginning and that no DV has been present for many years also.
Thank you for your understanding.

Yes this is the ops 3rd child, she’s lost custody of the other two. She’s said one with the natural father, but not said on the other one.the first.

the one she’s discussing is the second child who had been repeatedly abused, 6 broken ribs, no treatment sought, they must have been screaming in agony, and then brusing to the feet both soles and upper, swelling of the feet, bruise on chest and ear. All when they were weeks or months old. Now living with the father.

its traumatic just reading what happened to that little baby. Before you get to the ops posts about how she just woke up on the feet incident and sought medical advice,,

im fairly sure she’s posted before, just not given as much detail last time about why hee second was removed. Or maybe first and second together.

her writing rings a bell. About them being a happy family now. And wanting to keep her kid.but him saying no. He doesn’t want to do it again.

She is not alone; please do not try to minimise the actions of a woman who either harmed or allowed harm to come to her child.

Sad for the children ana7887, not for the OP. Feeling sorry for people who abuse children or let abuse happen? No, not me. Judging people who abuse - absolutely yes me. She’s an adult not a child, and there is NO excuse for child abuse, ever.

Is this the same poster who had their child taken away for a ‘cigarette burn’? There’s something very similar about the way it’s written with no paragraphs etc.

"I work in a very professional job of looking after vulnerable people and children that visit my place of work and have done this for almost 20 years"

Yes, I will judge someone who says that and behaves as the OP has. My sympathy is reserved for the helpless babies who have to cope with brain damage, blindness and much else for the rest of their lives due to abuse by parents and step parents. Her last child was relatively lucky but I can see no reason to think the one she is expecting would be safe in her care, based on what she's said here. At best, her judgement is appalling.

@ana7887 I have some understanding and compassion for OP. She says she has mental health issues and is herself a victim of abuse. She possibly experienced childhood trauma in order to be so incapable of maintaining safe and healthy boundaries for herself and her children in her adulthood.

So I do have some sympathy but she has come here asking us what she can do to keep her baby. All the evidence, based on what she says about her current situation and state of mind, points towards her losing custody of her new infant.

Speaking for myself, my posts have been directed towards trying to give her an understanding of why this is very likely going to be the outcome. However it is not necessarily the end, full stop, of her having any involvement with her third child's life, depending what she does or does not do now.

She cannot address what she does not understand or acknowledge. It is not actually SS's job to care about her but only to focus on the need to safeguard her vulnerable child.

Yes I think so. She was saying it was a small circular mark then I think, and the child was removed, and there had been no dv in the years since, and now she wished to have the baby but he was saying he couldn’t go through it again, apparently the accusations were horrendous. The writing style is very similar.

It's not a safe place for me me me, boo-hoo child abusers/facilitators.

I have no understanding or compassion. The baby had 6 broken ribs and no one sough help. Someone hit the babies feet so hard they swelled up. They had brusining to their chest and head.

ss, the police, everyone would have supported at that time, the op had every opportunity. Every single one.

there is no excuse. No compassion. No understanding from me, when a child is subjected to abject cruelty. Not just in the initial violence, but letting them lay there in agony after.

have you ever broken a rib? The pain is horrendous. Every movement feels like your being stabbed. Six ribs. Six.

Your home was meant to be a place of safety for your child yet he sustained broken ribs and bruises... And what about your child's mental health knowing his mother chose a man over him? Stop the woe is me.

Abuse? Abuse is what happened to your innocent defenceless baby. Abuse was breaking 6 of his ribs, and giving him multiple bruises. Abuse was assaulting your baby on multiple occasions. Abuse was inflicting injuries on your baby of a nature often seen at post mortem. Of abused babies I have seen with broken ribs, more died than survived. But your questions are not about how to protect your next baby, but just how to keep him with you. Even if he would not be safe with you and your partner, one of whom nearly killed your previous baby. People on here are not being abusive to you. They are desperately trying to wake you up.

@Fairypick
“Am only guilty for failing to protect and not safeguard am guilty for not noticing something sooner, am guilty for allowing that to of happened, am guilty that my child suffered”

If we are supposed to believe you then this is the “best” case scenario here. What you seem utterly incapable of appreciating is that what you describe here and your mindset is in itself so dreadful that your unborn child being removed from you at birth so as to avoid the same fate is entirely appropriate and what most of us here hope the outcome is.

If you love this baby and want whats best for them. Hand the baby over to ss when it's born leave your partner and work on you. Your baby deserves a chance of a happy and safe life there are plenty of good parents out there who can provide this.

@pineappletime Google it if you don't believe me because there is. I'm not getting into a back abs firth with you on this. However, I am experienced within this area, whatever you say. After fleeing domestic abuse many years ago with my children, I ended up within the whole system of this country. Hence, how I know alot about this area of law and child protection

@wherewherethewildthingis as I said to pineapple, I have a hell of a lot of experience in this area. I fled domestic abuse many years ago. We went through the system of this country.

Hence, I know way too much about how it works from first-hand experience. I also voluntarily support others through domestic abuse services.

Oh, and yes, the social services do lie. I've seen it first hand

@DoreenOnTill8 I am not saying what you think I said. I'm sorry if you think it has come over like that.

I was talking about what happened to me when I fled abuse. Sorry that wasn't clear. I know full well how social services work.

No, I don't think she will get to keep the child either or should

Read my other messages on this. Yes, I am experienced. After fleeing domestic abuse many years ago, I, with my children, ended up involved with the system. Hence

What did you tell your employer about the removal of your children? Do they know?

I'm sure your MH is pretty resilient being that you can walk around day in and day out knowing you have had 2 kids removed and you have allowed or aided in the prolonged abuse of a innocent baby.

So il sleep pretty well tonight thanks.

You should be ashamed of yourself. You are not a mother.

I'm not in the least bit religious but I pray to anything that is above us to protect those kids.

Do you know that no legal order can be made on an unborn baby?

Not read through all the posts, so your still with the guy that you reckon hurt your baby? Sorry I wouldn't leave a baby in your care!

@keffie12 I think that you are referring to a child protection plan, which is not an order.

In the uk the state cannot seek a court order for an un born baby because in law the baby does not exist as having seperate rights. If it did then abortion would be illegal.

@Silvers11

Oh I see.

Well this is very confusing then as it's all grouped together and doesn't make much sense.

Apologies then if I read wrong!

OP, you seem to want people to think of you and your circumstances and keep saying you’re being honest, but have failed repeatedly to answer basic questions.

1. What happened to your first child?
2. What kind of treatment are you having for your diagnosed personality disorder?
3. Why were you away from your second child so much to not see someone abusing them (if it genuinely wasn’t you inflicting those horrific injuries)?
4. Who did you leave your second child with? You suggested it was only your partner - if so, why are you not saying he has abused your child? Why are you still suggesting that ‘someone‘ did it, like you don’t know who? If there was only you and him involved in the child’s care and it wasn’t you, it had to be them. Do you understand this? If so, why have you got yourself pregnant to this evil man and was suggesting ‘being a family’ with a child abuser who seriously hurt your other child?
5. How did you not see your child was in pain with broken ribs? Did you leave them alone for long periods of time as there’s no way you wouldn’t have known something was wrong.

I’m sorry but your posts have been all from your perspective and how you feel you’re being wronged but after losing two children, you have then made more really bad decisions to get pregnant again, with someone that is abusive to yourself and child (if you’re to be believed). You literally said you wanted to be a family with this man!! Those are not things that a good mum would be doing and doesn’t demonstrate that you have learned anything. All of these decisions are failing your unborn child. Why do you think Social Services should let you have custody and believe you know how to safeguard a child?

The op said she had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Generally speaking, this means amongst other difficulties that she will have a rigidity in thinking, can be highly manipulative, prone to believe their own lies and generally chaotic in lifestyle.

It is also untreatable, although long term therapy can help them deal with the external world, they tend to have problematic lives.

They also generally do not succeed in parenthood.

Some of the high profile female offenders against children have this disorder.

Used to come across this condition often in DV services i worked for.