Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Child protection

367 replies

Fairypick · 11/05/2024 21:42

Hi, this is my story and am looking for any advice or guidance in regards to my post. Please don’t judge.

Almost 10 years ago I had my second child and at around 8 months old they sustained unexplained none accidental injuries these were the injuries caused from the Drs review:
2014 baby was presented by his mother at his GP surgery with bruising and swelling to his feet, she was unable to offer any explanation to how an immobile child could have sustained these injuries, baby was then referred to Hospital and examined by a doctor. Baby was found to have linear bruising on the tops of the right foot as well as bruising on the tip of the right big toe and diffuse bruising on the soles of both feet. There was also a small 0.5 superficial scratch on top of baby’s chest and a small 5mm linear bruise on the posterior aspect of baby’s left ear. A skeletal survey also found baby to have 6 healing fractures to the ribs, which appeared to be old ones.
There were concerns that the injuries may have been caused by either mother or her partner (not the. Baby’s farther) and they were arrested and bailed with no further action due to no evidence an interim court order was granted. It is noted that in a court of law and family court the judge determined either mother or her partner had caused the injuries and a Lancashire finding was accepted as neither mother or partner were accepting responsibility for causing the injuries that baby had sustained although the blamed each other at the time of the incident.
As part of this section 47 enquiry SW spoken to both in question about the injuries and they both remain clear that they did not cause the injuries to baby nor can they explain what happened or how it happened. Mother also shared that if she had of caused the injuries she would not have taken her baby to get treatment as she knows this would have got her into trouble. Almost 11 years on me and my partner are now expecting our first baby together, there has been no DV in almost 7 years and we have remained very positive in our relationship since and very much looking forward to the arrival of our new born baby. We were made subjected to a child protection order in January due to a referral and we were very open and honest about this, we have worked very closely openly and honestly with the LA since the order was made and have never dismissed anything to them. We are due to have a review conference shortly before our baby is born and we currently scored a 3 and this still remains a score of 3 in the report from the SW before the next review meeting. However despite working extremely hard and jumping through many hoops we were informed that they will be seeking legal advice and can not define an answer as to what will happen next this was not mentioned in the very first meeting, we have completed all the assessments and tasks even agreed to any plan needed to ensure we get to be a family and keep our newborn baby, no pre birth plan has been completed yet either. The reason being that that they are seeking legal advice from what they have said is is that we are both saying now that we don’t think either of us caused the injuries, LA didn’t realise the seriousness of the past case either. We have consent to having a virtual baby for 48hrs and will do anything in our power to show and demonstrate we are no risk at all. We understand that they have a duty to ensure children are protected and especially newborn a babies we have never dismissed that, yes it’s difficult to tell what happened or why it happened as we do not know ourself, yes I admit I did at that time failed to safeguard my child who sadly sustained injuries. What am asking is really what do you think will happen, do we stand a chance of keeping our newborn baby and maintaining as a family unit or are we losing a fighting battle that we have worked so very hard for? I fully understand their worries and concerns but surely with a lot of positives and the length of time passed we could be given a chance at this? We are more then happy to be placed in a mother and baby unit, a foster placement or a supervision order, the last thing we want is to have our baby removed. Any advice or experience would be much appreciated and please don’t judge we are not horrible bad people just two people who would very much like the opportunity to show we can care, protect and love our child to the best of our ability with the support of the LA until they feel satisfied that the risks are no longer there. Yes they have expressed in their report that they think the new born baby will potentially be at significant risk of harm when born, but surely if we are not given a chance to prove this wrong they is that not fair at all? We have been told to keep providing for our baby and that they don’t know what the plan of the next steps will be although they have expressed that we have engaged positively since the very beginning and that no DV has been present for many years also.
Thank you for your understanding.

OP posts:
Puppuccino · 13/05/2024 16:29

We're assuming OP isn't the most attentive or observant mother to be honest. I'm kind of still stuck on a random bloke moving in and looking after another man's baby.

Baby really didn't stand a chance. Stepparents can be wonderful but that should simply not happen, so levels of appropriateness and maturity are really not there. Doubt op has a clue about internal injuries

ncforuchelp · 13/05/2024 19:42

It's always the stepparent / mother's boyfriend. Who the fuck allows this shit to happen to their tiny babies. I can only imagine how long they were together before he moved in. I'm guessing less than 4 months. That's complicity in itself.

I despair for humanity sometimes.

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 13:42

How are doing @Fairypick? I’m hoping you’ve managed to have a meeting with your social worker, been able to share how you’re feeling and make some sort of plan for going forward.

You mentioned you had little support in terms of family members, it could be useful to ask your social worker for referrals or advice on where you can get support. Perhaps like a Mackenzie friend or some some sort of free advocacy agency - I wonder if on this point any of the professionals in England who have previously commented can make some suggestions?

Apologies if you felt my reply was hurtful as a sw student (Scotland) picking out the facts and weighing up risks is how we are taught to think - and I think qualified professionals working with you will
be doing similar. Regardless of how harsh and mean you think everyone is being, this is your time to develop insight.

You’ve been very honest in this post regarding the abuse your first child suffered, so it is understandable that some
posters will be angry and I think you are just going to have to accept that.

Please let us all know your safe x

peachyqueens · 14/05/2024 15:53

She hasn't been honest though!! She's still maintaining she has no idea how her baby came by her injuries.

She knows. It's her, her partner, or both of them.

The fact she's disappeared off the thread indicates she knows, she's not willing to leave her partner and was probably just fishing for ideas on how to manipulate SS to let her keep this child. I hope to god they don't.

johntorodesfatcheeks · 14/05/2024 16:44

@Freehugs
she hasn’t been honest: with this thread, court / ss or herself.

Sunnyandsilly · 14/05/2024 17:25

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 13:42

How are doing @Fairypick? I’m hoping you’ve managed to have a meeting with your social worker, been able to share how you’re feeling and make some sort of plan for going forward.

You mentioned you had little support in terms of family members, it could be useful to ask your social worker for referrals or advice on where you can get support. Perhaps like a Mackenzie friend or some some sort of free advocacy agency - I wonder if on this point any of the professionals in England who have previously commented can make some suggestions?

Apologies if you felt my reply was hurtful as a sw student (Scotland) picking out the facts and weighing up risks is how we are taught to think - and I think qualified professionals working with you will
be doing similar. Regardless of how harsh and mean you think everyone is being, this is your time to develop insight.

You’ve been very honest in this post regarding the abuse your first child suffered, so it is understandable that some
posters will be angry and I think you are just going to have to accept that.

Please let us all know your safe x

Surely you know she’s not been honest? How can you have missed the blatant lies, and the reason this has now moved to legal action to remove is due to the escalation in lies from when it occurred? It’s really concerning if you are a sw student you can’t see it.

KomodoOhno · 14/05/2024 18:09

Sunnyandsilly · 14/05/2024 17:25

Surely you know she’s not been honest? How can you have missed the blatant lies, and the reason this has now moved to legal action to remove is due to the escalation in lies from when it occurred? It’s really concerning if you are a sw student you can’t see it.

I would show this reply to your instructor and get feed back on if sw is really for you

onanotherday · 14/05/2024 18:19

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 13:42

How are doing @Fairypick? I’m hoping you’ve managed to have a meeting with your social worker, been able to share how you’re feeling and make some sort of plan for going forward.

You mentioned you had little support in terms of family members, it could be useful to ask your social worker for referrals or advice on where you can get support. Perhaps like a Mackenzie friend or some some sort of free advocacy agency - I wonder if on this point any of the professionals in England who have previously commented can make some suggestions?

Apologies if you felt my reply was hurtful as a sw student (Scotland) picking out the facts and weighing up risks is how we are taught to think - and I think qualified professionals working with you will
be doing similar. Regardless of how harsh and mean you think everyone is being, this is your time to develop insight.

You’ve been very honest in this post regarding the abuse your first child suffered, so it is understandable that some
posters will be angry and I think you are just going to have to accept that.

Please let us all know your safe x

I understand your view that op is probably a victim too....however as an experienced CP SW I am looking through the lens that this person has not been able to safeguard her child, has not left her partner, whom we may assume is the perpetrator.
Not been transparent about previous children. She has manipulated the 'truth' and not been honest.
Yes, she may be being controlled/DV. But taking was she has said on face value and without context. She shows no insight into the issues and has inferred that she wants to continue with this relationship...then back tracked....child focused practice would view all this reaching CP threshold.

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 19:16

“You’ve been very honest in this post regarding the abuse your first child suffered”

Guys do not take my comments out of context. She has went into detail about the childs injuries and no where else have I concluded that this then suggests she has been open and honest in all other areas.

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 19:19

onanotherday · 14/05/2024 18:19

I understand your view that op is probably a victim too....however as an experienced CP SW I am looking through the lens that this person has not been able to safeguard her child, has not left her partner, whom we may assume is the perpetrator.
Not been transparent about previous children. She has manipulated the 'truth' and not been honest.
Yes, she may be being controlled/DV. But taking was she has said on face value and without context. She shows no insight into the issues and has inferred that she wants to continue with this relationship...then back tracked....child focused practice would view all this reaching CP threshold.

If you look at my first post I have highlighted what you have said.

We all know that’s with the basic facts we have and the likelihood of flawed transparency that this women won’t take her child home.

However we aren’t here to torture individuals, and regardless she should still receive support.

peachyqueens · 14/05/2024 19:40

Support to keep another baby for her and her partner to abuse?

Please don't advocate for a child abuser.

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 19:41

KomodoOhno · 14/05/2024 18:09

I would show this reply to your instructor and get feed back on if sw is really for you

Do you know something If were to show this to my personal tutor or recent practice educator I’d get another lecture in not self doubting myself. Trust me I’m my biggest critic. Yet I will always practice with unconditional positive regard.

Again this women will face the biggest heart wrenching consequence.

Uricon2 · 14/05/2024 19:42

From the first post

"The reason being that that they are seeking legal advice from what they have said is is that we are both saying now that we don’t think either of us caused the injuries, LA didn’t realise the seriousness of the past case either".

From this I imagine that there has been a move between LAs and it has taken a while for the records of the original abuse/removal to be transmitted, coupled with massive backtracking from alleging the other did it to the position that neither of them did (because, new baby)

I doubt the OP will be back. This whole thing is utterly depressing and the only comfort is that it appears the Children's Services department concerned is very much aware and will take approprate steps to protect this child.

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 19:44

OP has messaged me. She won’t be replying to the thread. x

Uricon2 · 14/05/2024 19:47

Freehugs · 14/05/2024 19:44

OP has messaged me. She won’t be replying to the thread. x

I'm sure she won't. 30 years in frontline social services makes me advise you, sincerely, to take care of yourself and your boundaries.

KomodoOhno · 14/05/2024 19:55

Uricon2 · 14/05/2024 19:47

I'm sure she won't. 30 years in frontline social services makes me advise you, sincerely, to take care of yourself and your boundaries.

This.

Ted27 · 14/05/2024 20:10

@Freehugs

There are some very experienced SWs here. Listen to them.
I'm an adoptive parent and now foster carer.
My son was known to Social services before birth. He was not removed from his parents 'care' until he was 4. Far too late. He is a wonderful young man, has a smile that lights up the room and lifts my heart and soul every day. He is doing very well for himself and is at university.
His birth mum had an horrific childhood, I have enormous sympathy but social services gave her too many chances. All four of her children are adopted or in care.
I have a 13 year old foster child, not removed until age 7, again far too late. Again I have sympathy for her.
I belive both of these women deserved more, more from their own abusive families and partners. They should have had more support from social care.
Instead they were given chance after chance and between them 10 children and young people are carrying the consequences for life.
A couple of them, my son being one of them, will be OK and will make good lives for themselves.
But most of them are heading down the same direction and its not good

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread